*Kitchen*

Mom: "Calvin!"

Mom: "Calvin!!!"

Mom: "CALVIN!!!"

Calvin: "What mom?"

Mom: "Have you seen any vinegar?"

Calvin: "What a dumb question! You know I hate that stuff"

Calvin starts to walk back outside

Mom: "Have you seen that new girl across the street?"

Calvin: "Of course, why would we spend a precious Saturday morning outside making vin-...er, I mean water balloons"

Mom: "Ahem, you, mister, will march yourself outside and hand me those balloons."

Calvin: "Aww..."

*G.R.O.S.S. HQ*

Calvin leaning over side of treehouse:

Calvin: "Darn Mom. She doesn't understand the importance of a G.R.O.S.S. Operation."

Hobbes: "Your mom doesn't understand anything about you"

Calvin: "That's what I've been saying my whole life!"

Calvin stands up

Calvin: "This meeting of G.R.O.S.S. will continue. Dictator-for-Life Calvin, presiding"

Hobbes: "Oyz Oyz!"

Calvin: "No Hobbes, it's 'hear hear!'"

Hobbes: "Whatever"

Calvin: "Now a top secret report from our field scout Hobbes"

Hobbes: "A new, unknown enemy has entered the territory or G.R.O.S.S."

Calvin: "Name?"

Hobbes: "Elizabeth."

(Rustle)

Hobbes: "Did you hear that?

Calvin: "Yeah..."

Girl: "Yah! It's Lizzy!"

Water ballonns fall into the G.R.O.S.S. Treehouse.

Calvin: "Agh! Get the spares Hobbes, the Spares!"

Hobbes: "Got 'em!"

Calvin and Hobbes throw water balloons that miss their targets. Lizzy who is hysterically laughing, runs off to her house.

Calvin: "President Hobbes, go to the Board of Generals and vote on War against Lizzy!"

Hobbes: "This emergency vote has been called to declare war on Lizzy. All in favor say 'aye'"

Calvin: "Aye!"

Hobbes: "Aye! And in a close race, the vote is unanimous, we go to war."

Calvin: "What is the objective"

Hobbes: "Send hate mail"

Calvin: "Bug her."

Hobbes: "Hate Mail!"

Calvin: "BUG HER! You fuzz brain!"

Hobbes: "Pinky!"

Calvin: "You're going to get a pinky in your mouth..."

Hobbes: "Truce"

Calvin: "What!?"

Hobbes: "We're supposed to be fighting against Lizzy."

Calvin: "Oh yeah, Truce."

Hobbes: "I'll get the World Map"

Calvin: "I'll get the dart guns"

*Later*

Calvin: "Okay, which way do we go?"

Hobbes: "West"

Hobbes points in front of him.

*A few paces later*

Calvin: "Where are we?"

Hobbes: "Her backyard."

Calvin: "Somebody shoot me, you led us to the right place."

Hobbes: "Har har."

Calvin: "Okay, on the count of three, we burst out of this bush and fire at her in the

sandbox"

Hobbes: "One"

Calvin: "Two...Three"

Hobbes: "Hey that was my line."

Calvin: "But I was supposed to say it all."

Hobbes: "But tigers know how to count."

Calvin: "Okay, let's just go"

Both: "Yah!!!"

Calvin: "What?! Where is she?...Wait a minute, I kmnow where we are, we're in our backyard. yOu dolt!"

Hobbes: "Okay, so I had the map upside down."

Calvin: "Give it to me."

Hobbes: "No, I am the topographer and the navigator. You wouldn't understand it."

Calvin: "That seems to be the problem becuase you don't either!"

Hobbes: "Wait, wait, look out in our backyard."

Calvin: "It's Lizzy! Hobbes, you're a genius!"

Hobbes: "OF course, I was waiting for you to realize that."

Calvin: "Let's go"

Both: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Lizzy: (screams)

Calvin: "Fire!!"

They both fire their guns which reach their target.

Lizzy: "Ouch!!"

Hobbes: "Yeah, we did it!"

Lizzy: "Yeah but look what I have..."

Lizzy pulls a ridiculously large water gun, and starts shooting it at Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin: "Retreat!"

Both: "Agh!"

The chase continues until Lizzy runs out of water and Calvin and Hobbes return to HQ.

*G.R.O.S.S. HQ*

Calvin,leaning over side of treehouse.

Calvin: "I can't believe she got us like that, I thought we had her."

Hobbes: "But we hit her."

Calvin: "Yeah, we did, we hit a girl!"

Hobbes: "They were splendid shots."

Calvin: "Bottle caps for our valor."

Hobbes: "Oyz, ozy."

Mom: "Calvin, I brought you lunch."

Calvin: "Thanks, Mom."

Mom walks away.

Calvin "You know, if I've said it once, I have said it a million times..."

Hobbes "Muph...what?"

Calvin "What a great club!"

Calvin and Hobbes spend the rest of their afternoon planning devious plans.