All sins tend to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is damnation.
W. H. Auden
Rain pelted down on the stern-faced profiler as he made his way through the dark, empty streets, his jacket wrapped around his lean frame and his hands nestled deep in his pockets, protecting himself from the brutal wind that was attacking him as he made his let his legs carry him. Aaron Hotchner knew that he shouldn't be walking this obscure path this late at night, in the weather; not because it was dangerous. But because he knew that his end destination was somewhere he shouldn't be going. Not again. Not tonight.
Aaron found himself walking down this route, more often than he had liked to ever think. This... Need that he had to fulfil made him feel weak, but it helped him.
After all, everyone has their addictions. He knew Reid's was dilaudid, and no matter how many times he tried to get off it, a case would come and trigger his need to use again. He thought back to the young doctor and remembered the time he had caught him, in the middle of the FBI's restrooms, the bottle in one hand, the tourniquet on his arm and the needle being pressed to his skin, and Aaron did what he had to do, he took it away, scolding the young man as he had time and time before about work, but this was different than those times. This was because he was posing a threat to himself and to those around him.
Gideon was his trigger; Gideon's departure, the letter. He felt like a hypocrite for taking the one thing that he needed away from him, when he was walking straight into his. He remembered the mood swing that day, every comment that he had made towards the young man was met with anger, until he had no choice but to send him home, where he knew he was handing him an invitation to take his anger out on himself by flooding poison through his veins.
JJ and Emily both shared a similar addiction, even if there's less detrimental to their health. Shopping. It was something that had obviously become their release. The words always slipped from their lips when they got back to Quantico, tired and wondering what the next case to be put on their desk was going to be. The only damage this addiction was doing was to their bank balance. It was their time where they were no longer FBI agents, and instead, two friends who were gossiping over what shoes would be more suitable with the new outfits they had purchased over the past months.
Derek's addiction was Penelope; something that everyone had known from the moment that she had walked into the BAU – from the first time he called her 'baby girl'. Their relationship was kept hidden behind their painful flirting. Most nights they would find themselves in each other's arms, sometimes in passion, and others in comfort. They had tried to fight away their urges, much like Spencer, and much like Aaron had, but it was human contact which pushed them together, made need and lust convey itself as love.
Aaron was barely aware that he had reached his destination, but looking up at the apartment building, he realised his need was growling deep in his chest, threatening to burst. He walked up the three flights of stairs. The first few times he had done this, he counted the steps out of nerves, 84 steps in total, now the nerves manifested as a growing desperation, he knocked on the door, his body shivering from being out for so long.
He waited for the response, anxiously, he knew that it would come soon, he hoped it would; and when it did, he wasn't surprised by the greeting.
"You're not supposed to be here, Aaron,"
This is my first Criminal Minds fic - hopefully not my last. I hope everyone enjoyed it. It will be continued probably as a series, progressing through from mid-season three onward. Rossi has joined the team in this; I know he isn't mentioned, but he will come around in later chapters.