Disclaimer: Most Characters made up, X-Men are a production of Marvel, I did not write the story, my step father's roommate's fiancee did. Sue her.
Little Johnny was walking in the park. His mom was feeding the tigers, and his sister was buying the movie ticket for her date tonight. She was going out with Bobby, and the movie to be watched was a documentary named "Calcium and The Bone." It was a perfect sunny day until the doctor told little Johnny he had Cancer and Osteoporosis. The family panicked, but since he was young it would not be such a great loss. The mom could surely have another child. Mom Joanna just left little Johnny in the park, telling him to play with the tigers, giving him the impression that she would come back. Little Johnny believed his drug-dealing mom, and ate peanut butter while waiting for his her..
Only after eighteen years he would realize that she would never come back. He left the tigers and went on with his life. He no longer had a shelter, since the tigers kicked him out. It was only him and his protection blanket, Gorky. He needed a job, so he lied about his experience and went on to the highly paid profession as an elementary school teacher. As the profession became boring he became the apprentice of a milk-man.
Joe Barker was the senior milk-man, who took his job serious. He saw something in the young lad that no one had before. Johnny was all grown up now. He had unmatched wit, Bill Clinton's charm and charisma, but could still keep a straight face. He had learned all the facts about milk, he drank milk, he bought milk, he inhaled milk, he injected milk, and he even drank milk.
Five years after Joe Barker died, John Lactose became the senior milk-man. He was still emotionally torn because his mother left him. He was still a very sick man, emotionally, mentally, and physically. He even changed his name to Seymour Butts. But, none of the tragedies had stopped him from doing his job, and being the best darn milk-man he could be. He was such a good milk-man that Mr. Roberts, who took Seimour's milk, left him a twenty-five cent tip every week. May we all just say again for simplicity sake that he was the best darn milk-man ever to walk Moab, Utah.
Ever since he took the job the noticed that his osteoporosis was getting weaker. He came to the conclusion that by handling, sniffing, injecting, and drinking milk, his health had gone up. He felt better than ever before.
His motto became,
"No milk, no moustache."
While peacefully ridding his bike in Main Street, Gordo the bully asked him for a free glass of milk. Seymour said,
"No milk, no moustache."
Gordo then asked,
"What the hell does that mean?"
Seymour told him,
"Get away from my milk."
People began to stare, the old people in the street had now vanished. It was obvious that a duel would not take place. They chose their weapons. Seymour with a flame-thrower, Gordo with a whip. Then, the earth began to shake, the milk became whiter, the sun became sunnier, people's faces became; well, you got the point. The whole thing got cheesier. Then Professor X came out of the ground with a nut-cracker and yelled,
"Jean, you did nothing in the movie, what makes you think you will really do anything now."
Jean was nowhere in sight, and soon the public realized that Xavior was just another senile old man. Then, as usual, Wolverine came and kicked the crap out of everybody.
The End.
Little Johnny was walking in the park. His mom was feeding the tigers, and his sister was buying the movie ticket for her date tonight. She was going out with Bobby, and the movie to be watched was a documentary named "Calcium and The Bone." It was a perfect sunny day until the doctor told little Johnny he had Cancer and Osteoporosis. The family panicked, but since he was young it would not be such a great loss. The mom could surely have another child. Mom Joanna just left little Johnny in the park, telling him to play with the tigers, giving him the impression that she would come back. Little Johnny believed his drug-dealing mom, and ate peanut butter while waiting for his her..
Only after eighteen years he would realize that she would never come back. He left the tigers and went on with his life. He no longer had a shelter, since the tigers kicked him out. It was only him and his protection blanket, Gorky. He needed a job, so he lied about his experience and went on to the highly paid profession as an elementary school teacher. As the profession became boring he became the apprentice of a milk-man.
Joe Barker was the senior milk-man, who took his job serious. He saw something in the young lad that no one had before. Johnny was all grown up now. He had unmatched wit, Bill Clinton's charm and charisma, but could still keep a straight face. He had learned all the facts about milk, he drank milk, he bought milk, he inhaled milk, he injected milk, and he even drank milk.
Five years after Joe Barker died, John Lactose became the senior milk-man. He was still emotionally torn because his mother left him. He was still a very sick man, emotionally, mentally, and physically. He even changed his name to Seymour Butts. But, none of the tragedies had stopped him from doing his job, and being the best darn milk-man he could be. He was such a good milk-man that Mr. Roberts, who took Seimour's milk, left him a twenty-five cent tip every week. May we all just say again for simplicity sake that he was the best darn milk-man ever to walk Moab, Utah.
Ever since he took the job the noticed that his osteoporosis was getting weaker. He came to the conclusion that by handling, sniffing, injecting, and drinking milk, his health had gone up. He felt better than ever before.
His motto became,
"No milk, no moustache."
While peacefully ridding his bike in Main Street, Gordo the bully asked him for a free glass of milk. Seymour said,
"No milk, no moustache."
Gordo then asked,
"What the hell does that mean?"
Seymour told him,
"Get away from my milk."
People began to stare, the old people in the street had now vanished. It was obvious that a duel would not take place. They chose their weapons. Seymour with a flame-thrower, Gordo with a whip. Then, the earth began to shake, the milk became whiter, the sun became sunnier, people's faces became; well, you got the point. The whole thing got cheesier. Then Professor X came out of the ground with a nut-cracker and yelled,
"Jean, you did nothing in the movie, what makes you think you will really do anything now."
Jean was nowhere in sight, and soon the public realized that Xavior was just another senile old man. Then, as usual, Wolverine came and kicked the crap out of everybody.
The End.