Patterns
by Sean Gaffney
Sakura Taisen/Sakura Wars (C) 1999 Sega Saturn, A.D. Vision, and lots of other copyrights I can't think of at the moment.
This story begins at the start of the second Sakura Taisen game.
He wasn't sure when he first noticed it. The pauses. The uncertainty. Feeling that he was making choices for himself that he didn't want to make. It only occurred to him gradually over the course of his first year with the TeikokuKagekidan. His decisions didn't feel right. Didn't feel like his own.
He trained for a year, away from the Army and away from the girls. And he was himself again. No hesitation, no awkwardness. When he wanted to accomplish something, he did it, without trying to think over the various options. It was wonderful. He felt so free.
But now he was back, and he could feel it creeping on him again. His talk with Yoneda was stilted and halting, the sort of conversation you'd see in a sim game.
In fact, all of this reminded him of a sim game.
Yoneda was asking him a question now, a question that Oogami somehow knew he would hear.
"Ensign... is there someone in the Hana-Gumi you're especially thinking of?"
And there were the choices, fresh in his mind. The six girls, lined up one after the other. Sakura, innocent and vibrant. Sumire, arrogant and pompous, yet a good-hearted friend underneath. Maria, mature and alluring, with a tragic past and a sensitive soul. Iris, the young girl he felt like a big brother to, even if her feelings weren't precisely the same. Kanna, strong and tomboyish, yet possessing a strength of spirit and character greater than any of the others. Kohran, outwardly silly and comical, yet with a brooding intelligence, and a fragile sense of self-worth.
Those six. Pick one. Make a choice.
He tried to think of other women. Even the ones that worked at the theater. Tsubaki, cute and cheerful, selling her mementos. Kasumi or Yuri, helping to keep the theater a viable front for the army. He couldn't. They just weren't options. He had to pick one of the six, or to say he couldn't decide.
No.
He would not allow himself to do this. Not even for the girls. He had something even more valuable than their love or respect, and here he was abandoning it.
"Sir, please appoint someone else to be Company Commander of the Hana- Gumi. I will be resigning my commission."
Yoneda just stared at him, his mouth open. He looked at a loss for words.
"I apologize, sir. I know the army needs leadership. Maria has grown stronger in the past, she can perform it again. But I... I can't stay here."
Again, no response. It was as if Yoneda had simply shut down.
Oogami stared at him for a few moments, then spun on his heel and left. He had a lot to do.
***
He found a retreat, high in the mountains. At first he thought it was a trap. Abandoned house, lots of woods and rocks, running water... it was too perfect. Too ideal for a young man training his body, mind and spirit. But after a few days, he began to be reassured by the sheer calmness of the mountain retreat. It didn't ask him to train, or to meditate, or to pray. It simply waited for him, waited for whatever choice he wanted to make.
It was hard. Abandoning the girls had been one of the most difficult decisions of his life. He didn't hate them. How could he? In fact, he wondered if they were as he was. Were they like Yoneda, simple shells that froze when something happened out of order or out of place? Or could they break out as well, could go beyond the Hana-Gumi and live their own lives?
That was why he hadn't made his tracks totally untraceable. He'd made it so that he could be found, if someone really wanted to. Just in case.
Because if they could come here... if they could break out of the scenario as he had...
Then that would be a choice he could make.
***
It was a year later before the first appeared. He'd almost given up hope of seeing them again. For a few days he'd even despaired, drinking cheap liquor he'd bought at the nearby village. But after a while he pulled himself back together, and devoted himself to his training. There were other women in the world. He would put that part of his life behind him.
That was why when Sakura appeared at the bottom of the hill, looking up at his stern visage, he nearly fell over. Catching himself, he managed to stumble towards her.
She looked different. The innocence, the vibrance that had made her so attractive during the war... was gone. Instead her face was hardened by many, many days of wearying reality, of soul-searching and disbelief. Sakura was no longer a child.
She had never looked more beautiful to him.
For a moment they just stared at each other. They had had many conversations a year ago, with varying degrees of awkwardness. None of them compared to this moment.
"It's good to see you again, Sakura-chan," he finally got out.
And then she smiled. Not a pure, innocent smile, but a happy one nevertheless. She reached out and took his hand, and squeezed it tightly.
Then the two of them walked back up the hill towards the house.
***
It was another year before Maria arrived. She had a scar across her cheek now, and her eyes looked even more sad than she had when they'd first met. But she accepted his hug, and took his hand, and went to join Sakura.
By the time Kohran arrived, the training regimen had become quite complex. It was specifically based on the lack of a pattern. Never do the same move twice, never repeat yourself. Never let your enemies see what you were thinking. Kohran was welcomed by the others easily, and fit into the regimen as if she'd been born to the task.
They didn't really talk much, the four of them. There was no need. Ironically, each seemed to know what the other was thinking. Also, the jealousy that had existed among the six girls was gone now. He still hadn't chosen anyone, still slept in his bed alone. But they accepted that, and knew he wasn't slighting any of them. They were all young, and had all the time in the world.
Kanna and Sumire arrived at the same time. Freed from the routine of the theatre, they had quickly shed their forced arguments and become close friends. They both added their own crafts to the training, which had long since surpassed anything done when they were in the Hana-Gumi. By now Oogami estimated they were one of the most powerful fighting forces in the entire world.
The last was the hardest. It would be nine long, hard years before a blonde head appeared at the bottom of the hill. Unlike the others, Iris was not in good shape. Her clothing was in rags, and she appeared to have several bruises on her arms and chest. She'd stayed with the theatre, quickly becoming its biggest star. She'd wanted to leave for years, but they wouldn't allow her. She'd escaped three times, but had always been brought back, and forced back into the routine. Performance, fight, relax. Finally, on her 19th birthday, she'd managed it.
The others hugged her, and cried, and told her how proud they were. Oogami laid a hand on her head and shuddered, thinking of everything she had suffered. But Iris smiled, and told all of them it was all right.
"Even if I'd died, it would have been worth it to come live with you. To come live."
***
That night they held a party. It was a subdued affair, as they were all thinking the same thing.
"Oogami-chan, do you think they'll trace Iris to us?"
He sighed and nodded. "It's very likely. I'm not especially worried about that. We're trained enough so that we could stop a small army, especially if it was to protect Iris. No, it's just a catalyst for what I'd already been thinking."
The others looked at him. They didn't want to say it aloud. This place was home to them, for varying amounts of time. Even Iris, who'd only arrived today, felt as if she belonged here. But they were thinking the same thing, nevertheless.
"We need to move on. We've trained to the point where we can't do any more by ourselves. And Iris can catch up with us as we move. But we should definitely go soon."
"Why?"
"Because this is a pattern. Living here and training. Even if we've tried to avoid it. And the one thing I still fear above all else is patterns. Do you want to go back to the way we were?"
No one needed to answer that. They had already decided as he spoke.
***
That morning, anyone coming to the house would have seen a deserted shack, seemingly abandoned for years, surrounded by a thick forest. If there had been any inhabitants, they had removed their traces so cleverly that finding them would be almost impossible.
And for a number of years, in bars or in the street, there would be rumours. Rumors of evil in the world, and of a group that rose up to stop it. Six women and one man. Someone mentioned that it sounded like the old Hana- Gumi, back in the 1920s. But this group was different. Far more powerful, and far closer than the Hana-Gumi had been.
Eventually rumors came of their deaths. Some said that they had died protecting a city from attack by one of the most powerful demons. Others said they had been slaughtered by jealous rivals, who trapped and tricked them into a foul and unfair duel.
But the most common rumor was that they hadn't died at all, but merely left this world for another. Somewhere they could be needed, where evil needed to be fought. A more chaotic world, perhaps. Not as regimented.
Without patterns.
END
by Sean Gaffney
Sakura Taisen/Sakura Wars (C) 1999 Sega Saturn, A.D. Vision, and lots of other copyrights I can't think of at the moment.
This story begins at the start of the second Sakura Taisen game.
He wasn't sure when he first noticed it. The pauses. The uncertainty. Feeling that he was making choices for himself that he didn't want to make. It only occurred to him gradually over the course of his first year with the TeikokuKagekidan. His decisions didn't feel right. Didn't feel like his own.
He trained for a year, away from the Army and away from the girls. And he was himself again. No hesitation, no awkwardness. When he wanted to accomplish something, he did it, without trying to think over the various options. It was wonderful. He felt so free.
But now he was back, and he could feel it creeping on him again. His talk with Yoneda was stilted and halting, the sort of conversation you'd see in a sim game.
In fact, all of this reminded him of a sim game.
Yoneda was asking him a question now, a question that Oogami somehow knew he would hear.
"Ensign... is there someone in the Hana-Gumi you're especially thinking of?"
And there were the choices, fresh in his mind. The six girls, lined up one after the other. Sakura, innocent and vibrant. Sumire, arrogant and pompous, yet a good-hearted friend underneath. Maria, mature and alluring, with a tragic past and a sensitive soul. Iris, the young girl he felt like a big brother to, even if her feelings weren't precisely the same. Kanna, strong and tomboyish, yet possessing a strength of spirit and character greater than any of the others. Kohran, outwardly silly and comical, yet with a brooding intelligence, and a fragile sense of self-worth.
Those six. Pick one. Make a choice.
He tried to think of other women. Even the ones that worked at the theater. Tsubaki, cute and cheerful, selling her mementos. Kasumi or Yuri, helping to keep the theater a viable front for the army. He couldn't. They just weren't options. He had to pick one of the six, or to say he couldn't decide.
No.
He would not allow himself to do this. Not even for the girls. He had something even more valuable than their love or respect, and here he was abandoning it.
"Sir, please appoint someone else to be Company Commander of the Hana- Gumi. I will be resigning my commission."
Yoneda just stared at him, his mouth open. He looked at a loss for words.
"I apologize, sir. I know the army needs leadership. Maria has grown stronger in the past, she can perform it again. But I... I can't stay here."
Again, no response. It was as if Yoneda had simply shut down.
Oogami stared at him for a few moments, then spun on his heel and left. He had a lot to do.
***
He found a retreat, high in the mountains. At first he thought it was a trap. Abandoned house, lots of woods and rocks, running water... it was too perfect. Too ideal for a young man training his body, mind and spirit. But after a few days, he began to be reassured by the sheer calmness of the mountain retreat. It didn't ask him to train, or to meditate, or to pray. It simply waited for him, waited for whatever choice he wanted to make.
It was hard. Abandoning the girls had been one of the most difficult decisions of his life. He didn't hate them. How could he? In fact, he wondered if they were as he was. Were they like Yoneda, simple shells that froze when something happened out of order or out of place? Or could they break out as well, could go beyond the Hana-Gumi and live their own lives?
That was why he hadn't made his tracks totally untraceable. He'd made it so that he could be found, if someone really wanted to. Just in case.
Because if they could come here... if they could break out of the scenario as he had...
Then that would be a choice he could make.
***
It was a year later before the first appeared. He'd almost given up hope of seeing them again. For a few days he'd even despaired, drinking cheap liquor he'd bought at the nearby village. But after a while he pulled himself back together, and devoted himself to his training. There were other women in the world. He would put that part of his life behind him.
That was why when Sakura appeared at the bottom of the hill, looking up at his stern visage, he nearly fell over. Catching himself, he managed to stumble towards her.
She looked different. The innocence, the vibrance that had made her so attractive during the war... was gone. Instead her face was hardened by many, many days of wearying reality, of soul-searching and disbelief. Sakura was no longer a child.
She had never looked more beautiful to him.
For a moment they just stared at each other. They had had many conversations a year ago, with varying degrees of awkwardness. None of them compared to this moment.
"It's good to see you again, Sakura-chan," he finally got out.
And then she smiled. Not a pure, innocent smile, but a happy one nevertheless. She reached out and took his hand, and squeezed it tightly.
Then the two of them walked back up the hill towards the house.
***
It was another year before Maria arrived. She had a scar across her cheek now, and her eyes looked even more sad than she had when they'd first met. But she accepted his hug, and took his hand, and went to join Sakura.
By the time Kohran arrived, the training regimen had become quite complex. It was specifically based on the lack of a pattern. Never do the same move twice, never repeat yourself. Never let your enemies see what you were thinking. Kohran was welcomed by the others easily, and fit into the regimen as if she'd been born to the task.
They didn't really talk much, the four of them. There was no need. Ironically, each seemed to know what the other was thinking. Also, the jealousy that had existed among the six girls was gone now. He still hadn't chosen anyone, still slept in his bed alone. But they accepted that, and knew he wasn't slighting any of them. They were all young, and had all the time in the world.
Kanna and Sumire arrived at the same time. Freed from the routine of the theatre, they had quickly shed their forced arguments and become close friends. They both added their own crafts to the training, which had long since surpassed anything done when they were in the Hana-Gumi. By now Oogami estimated they were one of the most powerful fighting forces in the entire world.
The last was the hardest. It would be nine long, hard years before a blonde head appeared at the bottom of the hill. Unlike the others, Iris was not in good shape. Her clothing was in rags, and she appeared to have several bruises on her arms and chest. She'd stayed with the theatre, quickly becoming its biggest star. She'd wanted to leave for years, but they wouldn't allow her. She'd escaped three times, but had always been brought back, and forced back into the routine. Performance, fight, relax. Finally, on her 19th birthday, she'd managed it.
The others hugged her, and cried, and told her how proud they were. Oogami laid a hand on her head and shuddered, thinking of everything she had suffered. But Iris smiled, and told all of them it was all right.
"Even if I'd died, it would have been worth it to come live with you. To come live."
***
That night they held a party. It was a subdued affair, as they were all thinking the same thing.
"Oogami-chan, do you think they'll trace Iris to us?"
He sighed and nodded. "It's very likely. I'm not especially worried about that. We're trained enough so that we could stop a small army, especially if it was to protect Iris. No, it's just a catalyst for what I'd already been thinking."
The others looked at him. They didn't want to say it aloud. This place was home to them, for varying amounts of time. Even Iris, who'd only arrived today, felt as if she belonged here. But they were thinking the same thing, nevertheless.
"We need to move on. We've trained to the point where we can't do any more by ourselves. And Iris can catch up with us as we move. But we should definitely go soon."
"Why?"
"Because this is a pattern. Living here and training. Even if we've tried to avoid it. And the one thing I still fear above all else is patterns. Do you want to go back to the way we were?"
No one needed to answer that. They had already decided as he spoke.
***
That morning, anyone coming to the house would have seen a deserted shack, seemingly abandoned for years, surrounded by a thick forest. If there had been any inhabitants, they had removed their traces so cleverly that finding them would be almost impossible.
And for a number of years, in bars or in the street, there would be rumours. Rumors of evil in the world, and of a group that rose up to stop it. Six women and one man. Someone mentioned that it sounded like the old Hana- Gumi, back in the 1920s. But this group was different. Far more powerful, and far closer than the Hana-Gumi had been.
Eventually rumors came of their deaths. Some said that they had died protecting a city from attack by one of the most powerful demons. Others said they had been slaughtered by jealous rivals, who trapped and tricked them into a foul and unfair duel.
But the most common rumor was that they hadn't died at all, but merely left this world for another. Somewhere they could be needed, where evil needed to be fought. A more chaotic world, perhaps. Not as regimented.
Without patterns.
END