Aniyu: This is something that begged to be written since the first time I saw Balthier on a Chocobo.
Balthier: ...Should I be insulted?...
Anayi: (shrugs) Probably.
Aniyu: This will be a series of short ficlets centered around each character, even guests. Each of them, at some point or another, will have issues with their Chocobo...or vice versa.
FFXII Cast: (monotone) Yay.
Aniyu: The first lucky vic-er, volunteer, is... (draws out of a hat) Ashe!
Ashe: What?! Why can't the sky pirate go first?!
Anayi: Oh quit whining and do the disclaimer Princess Bitch.
Ashe: (growling) Aniyu doesn't own FFXII, thank the Dynast-King.
Fran: Be forewarned, this may include what Aniyu refers to as yaoi. Please do not read if this troubles you. Otherwise, proceed.
The Chocobo Misadventures of:
Lady Ashe
It started as a peaceful day in the Giza Plains. The Dry had just arrived, and the nomads were finished settling in, still exhausted from their journey back. All was quiet, and the only noticeable movement was of the occasional Hyena, prowling for food.
"You thrice-damned excuse for a Cockatrice!!"
That is, until the very loud screech of a very angry hume-female sounded over the Plains.
Every beast from the Happy Bunnies to the Werewolves instantly awoke and ran in a panicked flurry toward new hiding places. If the nomads had looked, they would have been stunned to see the mighty Werewolves drop their swords to cover their ears, howling in fright.
Who was this hume-female? The supposed-to-be-dead Princess Ashe of Dalmasca, and she was both a frightening and hilarious sight to behold. She was disheveled, struggling to hold her mount's reins, and her face was steadily turning a very unflattering shade of red. The Chocobo was making a large racket, flapping and stomping wildly with every step, obviously trying to dislodge it's rider.
How was this frightening? Well, there is a reason why even the most terrifying beasts would not anger a Chocobo. As for Ashe...let's just say that you wouldn't want to be within 200 meters of her when she is truly furious...there's usually several Thundarga Spells involved.
You may be wondering why she was riding a Chocobo through Giza at all. Well, her group of comrades were planning to use the day to restock supplies and rest before they would go on a hunt. Ashe was, of course, impatient to start, though she had scolded Vaan for "wasting her time with meaningless distractions".
Ashe decided to go ahead and track the beast, spotted in the Ozmone Plain, so the hunt wouldn't take as long. It was just her luck that Chocobos weren't very thrilled with having riders with poor dispositions.
The princess was ready to charge up a Thundarga Spell, and the Chocobo decided it had had enough. Just outside the entrance to the Ozmone Plain, the poor bird gave a large buck and threw Ashe off it's back. It ran off for Rabanastre the second she landed on her ass with a shout of rage and pain.
She sat there fuming, faint sparks of her spell flashing around her like fireflies. A few minutes later, the three males of her entourage rode over on three, perfectly complacent Chocobos.
"Are you all right, your Majesty?" Basch had his usual look of concern, but it was shadowed by caution at the sight of the sparks.
"I thought we agreed that today was for preparation, Ashe. How come you left early?" Vaan looked curious, but started to worry as the sparks around her flashed more violently. He and Basch started to carefully back their Chocobos away.
Balthier, for some reason, either ignored their actions, or was oblivious to the danger.
"I see you managed to lose your ride. Seems we're not the only ones who aren't fond of your impatience."
The other two males wondered if Balthier had written his will.
"THAT'S IT!!" Balthier seemed to finally realize his peril and immediately urged his Chocobo to sprint back to Rabanastre. "THUNDARGA!!"
Vaan was forced to jump from his mount to spare himself and the bird the pain of the thunder spell, and was thankful for Basch's presence as the knight caught him. As they watched Ashe chase Balthier, Vaan decided to voice his thoughts.
"I really don't think Ashe should ride solo on a Chocobo anymore." "Agreed."
END Part 1
Aniyu: Looks like you don't have much of a way with animals.
Ashe: (boiling mad)
Balthier: That was completely unfair. Why did I have to be the victim of her anger?
Aniyu: (shrug) Because it was either you or Vaan, and I picked you.
Balthier: (pout)
Vaan: Please R&R! She's less likely to lose her mind if you do.