Hi, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry for the slight delay, but I've been busy at college, so it's been at the bottom of my priority list (so sorry!) Well, this is my third GrimmIchi (third yaoi ever to have been written actually), and compared to my other works 'For the First Time' and 'This Kiss', I have to say that this was a challenge for me. I had a bit of a problem making it dramatic, but it's not overly dramatic (I'll let you lot be the judge of that). I accept all constructive criticism, as well as ways to improve my writing. If you don't like, please don't read. Please like/fav/follow/review and all that jazz - I like hearing what you have to say about it. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters. All I own is this story, and a pretty badass Bleach poster.
Dissonant can either mean 'lacking harmony' or 'unsuitable or unusual in combination' for those who didn't know what it meant.
Dissonant
Water; it's hard to grasp a hold of. Most people define it as a liquid that is the main base for all living beings, but that's not entirely correct. To me, it is something that can't be held in the palm of your hands without it slipping out of your grip. It can be touched, but can't be held, and to me, he was like that. Our relationship was like that at first. You can't control water; it's only master is itself, and if you try too hard, it will, one day, consume you for everything you have. For a long time though, before I even met him, it felt like I was drowning. Drowning in a sea of nothing. Don't get me wrong, I had family and friends, but something was missing from my life. Something that, before I had even realised it myself, I was missing it, craving it. It was like I was drowning; it left me feeling hungry. Hungry for something, someone.
I was so hopelessly lost before he showed up. For countless days on end, I would go to school, speak to my friends, feign a smile here and there, go home, do homework and then sit in nothing but a sea of silence. I would just think, think about what was missing in my life. The more I thought about it, the vaguer it became, and that alone annoyed the crap out of me. Night after night, I would think about what it was that was missing, and because of it, it caused me to be up most nights. To this day, it's a surprise that I was able to put on a show of false pretence as everyone went on with their daily lives. It was like everyone around me had what they needed, what they lived for but me. Yet, oddly enough, I could never be envious of them. Not at the small group of children who played together, not the odd couple who had each other, not even the elderly man who'd always smile and be up for a friendly chat with a complete stranger as he fed a sprinkle of seeds for nearby birds in a local park. I couldn't find myself being envious of them; in fact, all that I could find was a sense of Loneliness. It's not impossible to be lonely even when you're surrounded by friends and family. It's not impossible, but little did I know what was soon to happen to me.
It must have been somewhere around April when he first transferred into our class. I had overheard from some of the female students, both in my class and in the years above, about a hot, new, male transfer student. At that, I rolled my eyes and took my seat. It seemed an odd time to transfer, but if it had to be done, it had to be done. I slumped heavily into my chair and looked out of the window with a bored look plastered across my face. Outside, it rained ever so slightly and the odd grey clouds seemed to hang in the air. The colour Grey just seemed to hang itself everywhere and it made the world seem like a mundane one. It was only until two of my friends walked into the classroom that the world seemed to brighten up a tiny, tiny amount. The three of us had known each other since we were kids, but it was only when we entered high school that they had started to date.
"You two seem cheerful" I feigned a smile. Recently, I had become quite good at that, and sometimes, if I looked in a mirror, I would have almost convinced myself that I was alright. Almost. I didn't need to turn to face them; I knew exactly who it was.
"You have to be a little optimistic on rainy days like this, Ichigo" a female's voice rang through the room. It wasn't hard to mistake the grin that was in her voice. From the window pane, I could see her reflection. She was a short girl, of only about 5 feet or so, but she made up for her short stature with her big voice and completely, and rightfully so, biased opinions. Her short, black hair had only just reached down to the back of her neck, and usually, she'd wear it down but today, she had tied it back into two, small bunches. It suited her, though. Her large, violet shone brightly as she clenched her fist and grinned more.
"Easier said than done, Rukia. Rainy days just...get under my skin" I slumped further into my chair. I can't stand rainy days, mainly because of one day in particular. The 17th of June. Up until that day, it had been another day, but six years ago and through the heartache that my family had to suffer that day, my mother died. For that reason, whenever it rained, it reminded me of that day. It had been raining off and on for the past week, and in that time, I just felt lethargic. Out of energy. Depleted entirely of what little energy I had stored within my body. I slowly turned to face my friends and gave a small smile. Before I could say anything, the teacher walked into the class. Rukia smiled, offered a carefree wave and hurried to her seat. The next thing I noticed was a boy about my age who easily surpassed my own height. It was hard to ignore the amount of quiet squeals of delight, or pure awe, that the girls tried to suppress within themselves as the boy spoke.
Something about the boy intrigued me; his voice had a brass undertone to it, but as he introduced himself, his voice seemed quiet, almost too quiet for the average person to hear. His bright blue hair didn't look out of place, if anything; it blended more into the crowd than any other hair colour. His cerulean blue eyes looked piercingly attractive, and his body went hand-in-hand with it, but to me, his eyes had a definite distant look in them, and his body looked rigid, almost tense. Like he just didn't feel comfortable as he stood in front of a sea of strangers. It was clear to me that he just wanted to fade into the crowd, and become part of the sea. Or that was the first impression that I got omitting from him, at least. It was like I was staring at myself through another person's eyes and a disheartening feeling that seemed almost too cruel to put into words overcame me. As the boy walked towards the vacant seat that was positioned in front of my own desk, I felt my heart into a thousand, tiny shards, repair itself oh-so delicately to only then break apart a split second later.
I watched as the boy took his seat in front of me; even the way he walked made him seem lonely. It left a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach for the rest of the day. It hadn't cleared up in the slightest when lunch came around. I sighed heavily and looked out of the window. Faintly, I could see small droplets of water slide down the window pane, and slowly but surely, the sky seemed to turn a darker shade of grey. It made me feel even more lethargic that before, and at that particular point in time, I could have easily slept quietly whilst the rest of the world passed me by without a care in the world. If I had stayed in my seat, I would have slept throughout the lunch break. I had thought about talking a short walk, and I had barely gotten out of my seat when Rukia came over with a huge grin spread across her face. I listened only for a couple of seconds before the door was thrust open onto its hinges and in walked the boy from earlier. Unlike the lonely feeling that I had gotten from him about an hour or so ago, it was clear that he was annoyed about something. I watched as he walked towards the back of the class, and slumped heavily into a vacant seat. Nearby, I overheard some girls gossiping about him, saying how that despite him being hot and on par with a male supermodel, he was a short temper and came across rather brass.
"Did you hear about what he did at his old school?" one girl whispered, or at least tried to, to her friend. Her short, light brown hair had been styled in a bob, and her fringe had been pinned back with two hairpins. She was about Rukia's height, and for some reason, she seemed to be wary of me. Like I was going to hurt or scare her or something. It hadn't been strange; Rukia even once told me that sometimes I came across as someone who was constantly angry about something.
"No, what happened? And how did you know that before me?" her friend asked, shocked. Her short yet vibrant hair stood out in a crowd but at the same time, it worked for her. She wore a thin pair of glasses, and she seemed to always hit on this one girl in particular, in possibly one of the most direct ways that I had ever seen in my life. I wanted to roll my eyes but as soon as I glanced over to Rukia, she was gone. Just like the wind. Within two minutes or so, I saw her talking to a boy that was probably one of my closest friends. His vibrant red hair was always tied up in a ponytail, and even the vibrancy of it was enough to make any head turn his way. His dark brown eyes were warm and a large amount of black, thick tribal-styled tattoos seemed to adorn his body. Renji. We had been friends for years and we had had our fair share of stupid arguments. In a sense, the pair of us had short tempers. Now that I think about it, whenever the pair of us got into an argument over nothing, Rukia had always been the one to put us in our place and for that, I was grateful. She wasn't one to mess with, and despite Renji's seemingly constant teasing about her short stature, she wasn't afraid to tell him what she thought of him. Some of her insults were funny as; one of my personal favourites was 'you monkey testicle'. It always made me crack up whenever she said it, but despite some of the honest-to-God conversations she would start to talk about as if it was perfectly normal, along with her incredibly long list of insults, she was fiercely loyal to Renji, and a great person to be around. I waved for a moment as the pair of them came close to me.
"I heard that he'd beat up kids who even looked at him weirdly. As for the girls, he'd hit on every single one of them like crazy. A real delinquent" the first girl whispered in a hushed voice. In the meantime, I exchanged looks briefly with Renji and Rukia, before I glanced over my shoulder to the boy. I watched as he glanced out of the window with such a bored yet lonely look plastered on his face. I saw myself in the new boy, and to be honest, I didn't like it. It felt gut-wrenching, and I had a feeling that what the girls nearby to us were saying, was just rumours. The boy might have looked like a delinquent, but that didn't mean that he was one. I had that preconception thrown in my direction many times before, and it sucked royally. The last thing I wanted to do was prejudge someone based on their looks. It would have, however, been a different story if the rumours were true about him. It didn't take me long at all to stand up from my seat and walk to the back of the classroom. I only just about got up the boy when he looked at me. It wasn't much of a first impression, if I'm being honest. I wasn't nervous or anything; I just felt a little sorry for the guy. Sorry might not have been the right word to describe how it felt to me, but it was as close as I was going to get to the truth of it. The feeling itself was sickening, and up until that day, I hadn't been aware that someone, somewhere out in the world, would be feeling the same as what I felt on a regular basis.
"What do you want?" the boy asked. The tone of voice was harsh, but it didn't cut it for me. Actions speak louder than words, and by the look in his eyes, and even what he said to some extent looked and almost sounded like a plea to not worry about him, and that I should just get on with my own life. I looked at him for a brief moment.
"Not much. Just thought it'd be nice if you had someone who wasn't so hostile towards you" I shrugged. I wasn't lying. Practically everyone in the class seemed to avoid him, and some people had even gone to the trouble as to not fake a smile in his direction. It got me mad, and I couldn't have cared less if other people thought that I was some sort of freak for just talking to him. The pair of us exchanged looks for a moment, and from the corner of my eye, I could have sworn that a small smile broke out on the boy's face.
"Well, you're the first to actually talk to me like I'm human. Most people ignore my existence because of my hair colour. They think I'm some sort of hardcore delinquent. I bet you get that a lot, orangey" the boy grinned a little as I pulled up a chair and sat in it. I had to do a double take at what the boy had said just now. He was right, in a sense. I knew what it was like. It hadn't been a great feeling, but it did teach me a thing or two about how people immediately prejudged you.
"Yeah, you could say that and it's not 'orangey'. It's Ichigo" I sighed and looked at the boy, who burst out into a fit of laughter. Even when he did, it just didn't seem genuine to me. It sounded forced; lonely even. A disheartening feeling struck me hard in that instant. I listened to him laugh about my name, saying how cute it was for a guy. I felt a scowl soon spread itself across my face. Normally, I would have snapped back and explained to whomever it was that my name wasn't cute, but this boy seemed to need the laugh, even if it felt forced. For that reason, I let it slide.
"Name's Grimmjow by the way. Nice to meet you" When he spoke in that instant, he became serious, so serious that left a rather puzzled look on my face. I glanced over to Rukia and Renji, who grinned hopelessly at me. Within five minutes, the four of us talked about nothing in particular, but as Grimmjow talked to Renji about something, it hit me. Grimmjow had just been lonely; he needed company. Someone to talk to, complain to, laugh about anything with. It hit me in that instant. I didn't know if it was selfish of me to want it, but I wanted to be the person he could turn to when he needed someone. I wanted to listen to him complain about something stupid, I wanted to be there to laugh alongside with him, I wanted to be there for him to talk to whenever he needed me, whatever the subject was.I didn't know in that instant how soon I would want him. Him, and no-one else. Rukia and Renji were great, but it felt like a piece of me had been missing, and up until that point, I hadn't figured out what was missing from my life. I didn't know how soon it would be until I figured out that Grimmjow was that missing piece in my life.
It took less than a month for Grimmjow to free me. He knew what it was like to want something that you couldn't have and he knew what it was like to feel lonely in a large group of people. He even knew what it was like to feel 'inhuman' as he put it. The more time we spent together, the more convinced Rukia became that we had a 'more than friends' relationship going on. When she first told me, I laughed it off awkwardly but she had remained adamant. June was slowly approaching, and since the beginning of the month, it hadn't stopped raining. It made me lethargic and uncompromising, but it was Grimmjow who brought the sunlight to my rainy days. With him around me, I started to feel more complete, more alive, more human than I had ever felt before. It then hit me. Grimmjow had called me one night when Rukia and Renji were over, and according to Rukia, I had acted like a giggly high school girl as Grimmjow and I exchanged words over the phone. I can still remember that conversation vividly; I didn't know if that was because Rukia teased me about it constantly for a week, or for the fact that as I lay still on my bed for countless nights now, my mind would wander. Mainly to Grimmjow. I wondered what he would be doing, what he would be saying, what he would be thinking. My eyes would always open abruptly to one thought in particular. What if Grimmjow just didn't think of me as 'more than a friend'? What if he just saw me as a person who coincidentally felt lonely like he did, a person who could stand next to him and talk to him without feeling intimidating by his rough exterior?
That thought alone terrified me. It kept me up most nights, and the more I thought about, the clearer it became. It threatened to consume me, consume my relationship with Grimmjow, consume everything that I was worth. It all resulted in the same conclusion. I, Ichigo Kurosaki, was in love with Grimmjow. I was in love with the man who brought sunlight to my usual black-clouded life. I didn't even realise it until Renji called me one evening. Unlike Rukia, Renji was capable to state the obvious and not tease me about it. It only stated the fact that we were friends. I had remained silent when he announced it. It came out as a sigh at first. His tone might have been exasperated or happy to know that he was the first person to piece the jigsaw that was my life together, but what he said was enough to take me back. I could feel my jaw drop and my body grow rigid and robotic. After what seemed like forever, Renji made it clear to me that the only way I could know if Grimmjow felt the same was to ask him myself. I had planned to do that the next time I saw Grimmjow, but I couldn't find the courage to ask him. We greeted each other like we did any other morning, we talked like normal, laughed like normal, bickered like normal but nothing. I couldn't find the courage. It was only until I had been passing through the corridor with Rukia and another childhood friend of mine, Tatsuki, when I felt my world break. My feet stuck to the ground like a fly to a slither of fly-stick paper. Around the corner came Grimmjow's voice, and it was shortly followed by a female's. It sounded like an argument at first, but as I forced myself to overhear the conversation, I felt my heart break piece by piece.
"I'm not asking much, Grimmjow. I love you" the female's voice rang. It sounded desperate, almost saddened by the answer to her question.
"I can't, I'm sorry" Grimmjow sighed. It sounded like the argument had gone on for quite a while now.
"Why not? Why can't you? What's stopping you?" the female's voice asked. By now, Rukia had her back up to the wall. If she got any closer, she would have almost become part of the wall. Tatsuki, however, stood by me, unfazed by what was happening. I waited for what seemed like years on end for Grimmjow to reply. At first, no answer came and it only reinforced the sad truth that Grimmjow just didn't see me as 'more than a friend'.
"Nothing's stopping me, I just don't want to go out with you" Grimmjow's voice rang into my ears. I know that it wasn't directed to me, but I couldn't help but fear that my heart had just broken into thousands of tiny fragments. The girl, however, refused to take no for an answer, and just as I heard Grimmjow's footsteps come closer to where I stood, frozen in place, the girl grabbed a hold of his arm and pulled him to a standstill.
"There's someone else, isn't there?" the girl slowly asked. I couldn't take it anymore, and I found myself walk along the corridor, defeated. I tried my best to keep a stiff upper lip, but as I walked along the busy corridor, it seemed that I had been suddenly pushed back into the pits of my loneliness prior to meeting Grimmjow. I stopped in my tracks and allowed people to either walk past me nonchalantly or to overtake me altogether. It wasn't until I got to the classroom that I noticed Renji. He smiled and waved casually; all I could think of was my heart having no pulse to it anymore. Renji immediately picked up on the defeated vibe that seemed to waft off of me.
"Hey, what's up with you? Did something happen with Grimmjow?" he asked in a hushed voice as he stepped out of the classroom and pulled me over to one side. I looked down at the ground. I had been defeated. I was defeated, killed by the one person that I decided to love with all of my being. My eyes snapped open at the mention of Grimmjow's name, and I felt my lower lip begin to quiver uncontrollably. No matter how hard I tried to bite down on it, I couldn't.
"Nothing happened. I just..." I trailed off. My eyes started to sting, and I felt the back of my throat burn, as if it was on fire. All of my words had died on the spot, and it didn't take Tatsuki, Rukia and Grimmjow to join us. It didn't take Renji to whisper loudly to me 'I'll speak to you later', and soon enough, he had managed to convince Rukia and Tatsuki to join him somewhere.
"What was that about?" Grimmjow asked and rubbed the back of his neck. Luckily, my back was facing him; I didn't know if I could face him right now. His words repeated themselves like a vinyl record. 'I just don't want to go out with you'. It sent my mind into overdrive, into turmoil. I didn't want to be near Grimmjow. I didn't want to speak to him, or even look at him right now.
"I don't know" I briefly said quietly and began to walk away. I was angry, annoyed at how Grimmjow could just toy with me, but even more so at myself for allowing him to do so. With every footstep that I took away from Grimmjow, I felt more annoyed than ever before. It didn't take Grimmjow long to realise that something was up, and I heard him jog up to me.
"What's up with you, Ichigo?" Grimmjow asked. I ignored him and kept walking; I was infuriated with him, and myself. It pissed me off. "Hey, answer me!" Grimmjow called out. I ignored it again. It was only until Grimmjow reached out and grabbed a hold of my wrist that I was forced to stop. "Ichigo, what's wrong? Aren't we friends? Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Have I done something to make you angry?" Grimmjow asked. His last question made my eyes snap open hysterically, and it was then that I noticed that tears escaped them softly. I turned around to slow face Grimmjow, his worried expression only confirmed the sad truth that I wasn't the person he was after.
"It's nothing" I said; I tried to make my voice sound convincing but all that I could hear was the final part of my heart break, the final shard dropping down onto a black surface known as my realisation. The sound of it resonated through my mind, and I hated it. "I just don't feel well" I lied and tried to shake Grimmjow off of me. It didn't work, and I felt Grimmjow turn my body towards him; his large, strong hands clasped a hold of my lithe shoulders like a vice. If my heart wasn't as broken as it was by now, I would have winced at how much pain he forced onto my body.
"Don't lie to me, Ichigo. Tell me the truth. I have done something to you, haven't I?" Grimmjow asked, and looked deep into my watery brown eyes. His eyes clearly showed concern, and his voice only seemed to resonate with it. I forced myself to look away; I couldn't tell him the truth. It hurt so much. "Is it about that girl that I was with? I know that you were passing by, so don't try to hide it. Rukia sang like a bird" Grimmjow explained.
"It has nothing to do with you" I said without realising it at first. When I did, Grimmjow backed away slowly, and I felt his hands leave my shoulders and slide down to his sides. His face never looked so shocked by what I said. I wanted to take it back, but I couldn't. I couldn't face him now. I had blown it. I had been defeated, and I made it clear that I couldn't take it. I hated myself for what I did next. I ran. I turned on my heel and ran, ran away from the one person that I had decided to give my heart to. I was pissed off. I wanted to be left alone. I skipped the last couple of classes and headed home. I quietly slipped into the house and crept up the stairs. It didn't take me long to enter my bedroom, shut the door and slide down the inside of it. I was defeated. I lost it all. I ran like a coward. My back rested against the door as I sat dejected on the floor, the tiny remains of my heart weren't enough to fill in one of my hands. I knew that it would only be a matter of time before Grimmjow would knock on the front door and demand me to answer his questions. He had been over a couple of times since we first met, and my family seemed like him, so knowing that, I picked up my lifeless body only to want to collapse on the bed.
About an hour or so passed, and I walked aimlessly. It didn't matter where I ended up or how long I went for, but the last thing that I needed was to be forced to answer Grimmjow's questions, much less look him in the eye and tell him what was wrong with me. I allowed my worthless body to merge in the small crowds of pedestrians, my bright hair colour made me stick out like a sore thumb and it hadn't been long until someone took notice to it. I had been thinking about everything that happened to even notice the person, but what snapped me out of it was a swift punch to the face that I got. I wanted to snap back and retaliate, but I didn't have the energy. Usually, I would have fought back, but after everything that had happened to me today, I couldn't think straight. The man in front of me must have only been in his 20s, and he wasn't any different to any of the other guys who had tried to pick a fight with me for having bright hair colour. Even when the man asked his questions and rambled on to me about how I should just dye my hair colour a 'normal' colour, it seemed to only reiterate the fact that possibly for the first time in a long time, I was normal. I had to thank Grimmjow for making that clear to me, at least. The more the man punched me, the more I smiled inwardly to myself
"Sorry" I apologised, mainly to myself. The man in front of me seemed to be taken back a bit at that, but quickly threw another punch. Unlike the ones before, this one caught me off guard. Tiny amounts of blood seeped out of the already open wound that I received from the man before, and blood threatened to enter my right eye. He then took off, leaving me to smile inwardly at myself. Time seemed to pass without a hindrance, and the blood from above my right eye started to slip into it. No matter how hard and frequent I wiped it away, it still ran.
"What the hell did you get yourself into, Ichigo?" a familiar voice asked from behind me. I quickly turned around and when my eyes latched onto sight of who it was, I froze. It was like everything had just froze, yet everyone around us seemed to be warm and busy as they went about their daily lives. The blood above my right eye caused me to squint. Grimmjow stood in front of me, concerned and a little scared. I had to look away; I could feel myself come undone again. I didn't want to admit the truth. I was scared, terrified, petrified. I didn't want him to know the truth.
"Does it matter? Nothing matters anymore. Just go home already" I snapped and went to turn on my heel and run, but just as I was about to, I was stopped. Grimmjow's hand grabbed a hold of my lower left arm, holding me back in place, just like he did to me before. "Let go" I snapped and tried to shake him off. His hand around my arm only seemed to tighten.
"Not this time. You're coming with me" Grimmjow argued back. I felt his hand soften a little but it then clasped a hold of my hand, and I blushed as he pulled me across the road and down a side road. All of my anger suddenly dispersed; gone without a trace, and I felt my body become relaxed. Grimmjow pulled me along without much of a dispute to what seemed to be a one-bedroom apartment, and I waited patiently as he forced the key into the keyhole. It clicked once and I watched as Grimmjow opened the door. It was clean and looked really spacious, possibly too spacious for one person. Grimmjow looked over, pulled the key out of the keyhole and allowed me to enter the apartment. I felt his hand let go of mine as he shut the door behind the pair of us. I felt lonely, his touch lingered on my skin. It made me crazy. He made me crazy. I hadn't realised it until I did it. As Grimmjow had shut the door on its hinges, I couldn't help but place my head against his back. I felt his body go tense for a minute. "Hey, what's up with you...?" he trailed off as he looked over his shoulder to see me.
"Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm an idiot, aren't I?" I began. I felt so pathetic, and I couldn't hide the fact that I was crazy about him. All of my blood had rushed to my cheeks and dusted them and the bridge of my nose in a crimson colour. I felt Grimmjow 's body relax and turn slightly so that he faced my pathetic state. I expected him to laugh at me, but when he wrapped his arms around me, I was pleasantly surprised.
"There's no need to apologise, Ichigo. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. You mean the world to me" Grimmjow replied softly. I looked up to face him; he simply smiled. It was a genuine smile, the same smile that I grew to love, and in turn, him. I felt his hand cup the side of my face and gently pull me towards him. Our lips connected briefly, and all of my doubts faded away. I knew what Grimmjow's answer was; I was that other person. I was that special someone to him. He tasted of spearmint and coffee, and I couldn't get enough of it. The kiss itself was chaste, and he slowly pulled me up the stairs. He told me to sit on the bed, which I did, and soon enough, he returned with several cotton buds and a small container of lukewarm water. I hissed when a drenched cotton bud touched my newly-split lower lip. "Hold still" Grimmjow sighed; his hand had retracted as I hissed. I nodded slowly and allowed him to carry on. I watched as Grimmjow bit his own lip, the cotton bud pressed gently against the split hue on my lip. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but as soon as he shifted from his position on the floor up onto his knees, time seemed to freeze. He looked deeply into my eyes and smiled briefly, the soaked cotton bud lay still in between his fingers.
"What's wrong?" I quietly asked, my eyes remained fixed on his. Grimmjow only smiled once, and he leant closer. It took me by surprise when his lips softly connected with my own, but I soon relaxed. Unlike the first kiss, which was chaste, this one felt longer and it was filled with pure, unadulterated want and lust. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be filled with happiness and want. I soon felt my back come into contact with the bed, but Grimmjow's lips still lingered on mine. It was only when he pulled away for air that I felt the remains of his lips dance on mine in a tantalisingly erotic way that I couldn't help but want more of. His hands rested themselves by my shoulders; his fingers were threaded in amongst the creases of the sheets and his lips came into contact with my neck. A breathy gasp flew past my lips as he placed open-mouthed kisses up and down my neck that was shortly followed by a gentle graze of his teeth as they nipped at my neck.
"Nothing. I just figured out what was missing from my life" Grimmjow smirked as he pulled away from my neck, only to then crash his lips against mine like it was the first time we kissed. The cotton bud by now had slipped out of Grimmjow's hand, and as his hands roamed my body freely, I couldn't help but hum into the kiss. As I did, it gave Grimmjow plenty of opportunity to slip his tongue and dance to an erotic beat with my own. His hand took a hold of my shirt and his fingers popped open the first two or three buttons; his blunt fingernails scratched themselves into the small section of visible skin. I moaned into the kiss when he did, and Grimmjow rolled his hips into mine. It made me pull away to moan aloud as he did; I needed more. I needed him to pleasure me, to torture me, to be near me. I needed him. It didn't take Grimmjow long to unbutton my shirt and slip it off of me; it felt like he was a kid unwrapping a Christmas present for the first time. I blushed feverently as he did, and soon enough, his lips slowly left mine, and I couldn't help but feel empty, lonely. I hated it; I hated feeling lonely. Grimmjow knew that. "Ichigo, do you want this? Do you want me?" Grimmjow asked. It sounded like a simple question almost to the point where it was stupid.
"I want this. I want you" I smiled reassuringly. Grimmjow smiled back, and pressed his hands gently on my chest. They felt warm against my cold, bare chest and it sent shivers throughout my body. My hands snaked around to the back of his neck, and I pulled him closer to me, as if to say 'Make me your's'. With that, Grimmjow moved his hands down my body, inch by inch, and as he leant in closer to me, I could hear him smirk. In the next minute or so, his teeth gently grabbed a hold of one of my nipples. I moaned as he did, and as he began to gently suck and nip at the sensitive bud, one of his hands met with the other and his fingers began to play with the bud at a torturously slow pace. I moaned shamelessly as he continued with his ministrations; I could feel a warm, familiar sensation bubble up in my lower abdomen. The blush on my cheeks darkened from what was a light red colour to almost a crimson red and it spread across the bridge of my nose and across my cheeks, almost covering them completely. I knew that I wanted him, that I wanted this, but as Grimmjow rolled his hips into me again, it only proved how much I needed him. After a short while, Grimmjow switched to the other nipple and began to torture me oh-so sweetly. He was going to mess me, make me his' and ruin me for any other person; I couldn't have asked for anything better. I felt myself start to reach the edge and just as Grimmjow's hands reached down to my belt buckle, I couldn't help but arch my back and let a gasp slip past my lips. It was at that point where Grimmjow stopped altogether and slowly tore off his shirt. His hands remained in place, as if to hold me still, to pin me down further into the mattress. In one fell swoop, his lips were back on mine, and with that, his large hands managed to undo my belt and slip my trousers off of me. As the kiss deepened more and in that short period of time, Grimmjow and I were both completely naked and as one of his hands clasped around my half-hard erection, my breath hitched temporarily. Grimmjow only smirked before his hand slithered enticingly slow up and down it, and as he did, my back arched more against the mattress. Grimmjow buried his head into my neck and I felt his breath tickle gently against it; if he kept it up along with the agonisingly slow pace of his hand against my length, I would have come at any given moment.
His free hand snaked around my hips and what happened next was a completely foreign yet wanted pleasure. A single finger prodded the tight ring of muscle and just as his hand on my appendage picked up the pace a little, he slipped the lone digit into me. I gasped as he did; the sound of my voice intermingled with Grimmjow's soft yet erotically spicy breathing as it filled the room, and possibly the whole apartment. The finger dove into me deeper, and it seemed to be in search for something, a certain something. I squirmed around as it did; the sensation was foreign but as it moved around inside me, slowly stretching me, jolts of pleasure and desire travelled to my erection held somewhat perfectly in his pulled away from my neck and looked deeply into my eyes; a faint tint of blush brushed his cheeks. I couldn't make out what he said, but what I did feel was another finger meet the first within me and slowly stretched me in a scissoring motion. What he did next surprised me. He took me inch by inch in his skilful mouth, and as he did, I moaned wantonly. As time passed in a heartbeat, I felt myself reaching the breaking point, but just as I was about to lose it, Grimmjow stopped and pulled away. The fact that he was such a tease was starting to piss me off, and a faint scowl soon appeared on my face. That was soon replaced as his fingers left me and in one quick roll of his hips, he was in me. I gasped and just as Grimmjow was about to pull out, I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. It left him started at first, but as he relaxed, I too relaxed.
"Ichigo, are you...?" Grimmjow began.
"Just... let me get...adjusted" I purred suggestively into his ear. As much as I wanted him, the throbbing pain that came from being inside of me was the main cause as to why my face had contorted into a combination of pain and pleasure. Grimmjow was large, but oddly enough, he felt comfortable. I felt comfortable; I had wanted this for what seemed like years on end, and for possibly once in my life, I felt whole, complete. Grimmjow pulled away to look deeply into my lust-filled eyes, smirked once and gently pulled out of me, only to enter me at an excruciating yet intoxicatingly slow pace. I quickly became adjusted to his size, and within seconds, the pace grew in speed and intensity. He struck my prostate dead-on every time and as he leant down and took my bottom lip in between his pearly white teeth as a form of silencing my moans, I felt myself reach the edge. In between the fast and almost brutal pace of his thrusts, and his gentle yet insanely unadulterated nips to my bottom lip, Grimmjow had reduced me to mewls, breathless moans and wanton groans. One of his hands had slipped past our bodies and began to stroke my length leisurely; as if it was the first time he did it to me. It almost seemed like he didn't want to break me; he didn't want to shatter me into a thousand, tiny fragments,like he had done to me before.
"Grimm, I want...nngh...you to...ahh break me, make me your's...ahh, ruin me for another man" I moaned aloud; I didn't care if my face was crimson red from what I had just said. All that came swiftly was a chaste kiss on the lips that grew longer and more passionate before long. The powerful thrusts, the slow, leisurely pace of his hand as it moved up and down my shaft and the kiss were enough to send me over the edge. It did, and as I came hard into his hand; it only seemed to make him thrust harder and somewhat deeper into me. It took him less than a minute or two before he came, deep within me, grunting sexily as he did. His breathing came out in harsh pants as both he and I took in what happened. To me, it felt like I was on Cloud Nine, and only Grimmjow could make me feel this good. He slowly pulled out of me and collapsed in a heap next to me. Our bodies were coated mainly in a light sheet of sweat and as the night slowly started to consume the outside world with its shadows, the dim moonlight's rays hit the room and somehow managed to make everything tranquil. Grimmjow loosely draped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him.
"Haven't I already done that? I won't let anyone else have you, Ichigo. I love you like crazy, so be mine?" he asked. It came out quiet, almost inaudible but his signature smirk couldn't be mistaken. I looked up to him; our eyes met and I nodded reassuringly.
"Yeah. I love you too, you idiot" I whispered back to him with a lopsided grin spread across my face. For once in my life, I had found my missing piece. That was Grimmjow. For years, I had lived a life without feeling complete, and it was only when I met Grimmjow, that my life started to change, for the better, and become whole. Our relationship, at first, was like Water. Defiant and untouchable but now, it's like Ice. Pure and simplistic with a touch of elegance. Our relationship now, is like Ice: Timeless.