I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for a little bit now and I finally got in the mood to write it...so here you go. I'm debating if I want to continue this story and have all subsequent chapters explain all the background info up to this point or if I want to leave as this little song fic/one shot deal. If you feel so inclined, drop me a line and let me know what you would like to happen. Until then, enjoy this little nibblet. Now, on with the show!
DoD
PS - The song used in this chapter is Keith Urban's "Tonight I Wanna Cry." I'm making no money off of this, it is for pure entertainment purposes...you know the deal. Now seriously, on with the show!
XxXx
She sat alone at the kitchen table, the bottle of wine only half full now. She swirled what was left of the red liquid in her glass and drained it before helping herself to another glass. She was determined to drink until she forgot him – forgot his smile, his touch, the way he always made her feel so safe…
Shaking her head, she took another gulp of the wine. It was no use though. He invaded her every thought, he was in her very being. God, here she was sitting in the kitchen of the house they had bought together, when the promise of a lifetime side by side was still fresh and new to them. Everything was so exciting then. She felt like every time he went away, she couldn't breathe, couldn't function until he was back home, back to their sweet escape from everything else.
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down
And a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could've been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walking away
A tear welled up in her eye and she fought against letting it spill over but then gave up the fight. What's the difference? There was no one here to see her cry, no one to wipe her tears away. Let them come then!
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing self control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
The crying eventually subsided and she finished off the wine in her glass. She eyed the bottle but something inside of her knew that the bottle didn't hold the answers she wanted. What did she want? Oh nevermind that. She knew exactly what – who – she wanted. But he was long gone now. Probably wishing that he had never laid eyes on her, never met her, or loved her – had he ever really loved her? Sure, he had told her time and again but did his actions ever show it? She stopped and laughed bitterly to herself. He had bought a house for them. He had called it theirs but let's be real here – it was his money and his name on the deed. And even then he still ran.
Would it help if I turned a sad song on?
'All By Myself' would sure hit hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters?
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hiding this way
She stood slowly, knowing the wine would make her dizzy. Grabbing the cork, she tried a few times to replace it but gave up and decided that the bottle was just going to sit open for the rest of the night. She looked around her, taking in the kitchen, seeing how they had made it part of their home. What had happened to them? Where had they gone wrong? She had always been happy with their relationship. Sure, there were fights and disagreements but what couple didn't have those?
'Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing self control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
She sank back down into the chair. A harsh realization hit her. What if those fights were his way of seeing if their relationship was worth it? Was it worth it? She didn't know anymore. Obviously, he didn't think so. Her heart ached as she thought that; he was giving up on them, throwing in the towel and letting everything fall to the side. A sob hit her but she pressed her hand to her mouth, determined not to let any more tears fall tonight. She stood up again, resolute in her course of action now. It hurt her, cut her to her very core, but it was all that was left. It was his house after all, she should be the one leaving it, not him.
Standing there in the bedroom, she mechanically grabbed her suitcase from the back of the closet and started to put some clothes in it. Just don't think about it, she told herself. If you think about it, you're going to start crying again and what good is that going to do? It was all a matter of just staying strong until she could find a place to lick her wounds. She paused as she put a shirt in the suitcase. Where was she going? It was – a glance at the clock – going on two in the morning. She knew most of her friends would be settled in bed, tucked in with their loved ones. Well, motels never closed. If nothing else, at least she would have a bed. A bed…to herself. Alone.
The wave of sadness overtook her with such power and intensity she wasn't even sure she could breathe. She put her hands on the suitcase and willed herself not to cry again. As long as she didn't start crying again tonight, if she could just wait until morning, she would think herself that much stronger.
Her body didn't listen. Tears came to her eyes and, despite how hard she railed against them, they overtook her.
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing self control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
That's how he found her: in the bedroom, crying over her open suitcase and completely unawares of his presence. He stood in the doorway, unsure of what to do. He knew he had hurt her. He had hurt her deeply and he doubted very much that she wanted to see him at the moment but somehow, he couldn't resist gently walking towards her.
"Don't cry. Your eyes are too beautiful to let tears get in the way." He said, still feet away from her.
She jumped at the sound of his voice. She stared openly, finally snapping her mouth shut. Opening it again, "I'll be out of your way in a minute. I can't take too much right now – I'm just heading out to a motel for the night but I'm sure I can get a place in the next few days and when I do I'll come back and get all of my-"
"Don't. Please don't go." he interrupted.
"And do what? Stay here instead?" she snorted. "It's your house-"
"Our house."
"-so I'll be getting out of your way." She zipped up her suitcase, angry at herself for allowing him to catch her crying. When did he even get back? She didn't remember hearing a thing in the house. For being such a giant of a man, he could definitely move quietly.
Letting the bag fall to the floor, she spun it so it rested on the wheels and started towards the door. He moved in front of her and blocked her way. Sighing, she closed her eyes and
begged him to just step aside and let her go.
"Not yet, not until you listen to what I have to say."
She looked at him finally, her watery green eyes filled with such sadness he could feel his heart breaking on the spot. God, how could he have caused her such pain? He mentally kicked himself. Causing her pain was the last thing he had ever wanted; he was willing to walk through hell and back just for a smile from her. Why hadn't he ever really told her that? Or shown her that?
"Daisy," he reached out and caressed the side of her face, "Daisy, I have never been good at relationships. I've never been able to tell anyone how I feel, what they mean to me, how they make me so much happier by just being around. But you make me feel that way. You, your smile, your laugh, it just makes me feel…I don't know. It makes me feel like Superman when you smile at me. Like I could go to the ends of the earth and I would! I would willingly go if you asked me to."
Those green eyes were looking at him, the sadness still there.
"Look, I know I'm not perfect. I'm far from it. I'm stubborn, I'm set in my ways, I'm crude more than half the time, and I can be a real asshole and a pain in the ass all at the same time. But I know that I love you. I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you. The feelings I have for you…it's what gets me through. All the days away from you, away from your pretty smile and face, just the fact that I care about you and I know that you care about me – that's what gets me through. Daisy, I know you care about me. And I want to be with you. From now until forever. I want to put a ring on your finger, repeat those words in front of all our friends and family and promise that my love will always be yours until my very last breath. Give us just one more chance and I swear to you that you will never cry again. C'mon Daisy. Just one more shot. For us. For our forever."
Daisy was in tears again. So much for his promise of never crying again. He was holding her now, and she felt so safe and guarded in his embrace. His shirt was soaked through with her tears before the flood subsided. She took a few breaths to steady her breathing before looking at him.
Another deep breath and Daisy broke out of his embrace. The air in the room felt cold against her skin compared to the warmth he had offered her. But she had to stand alone now.
"I love you. I think I always have. From the moment I first met you, I've found myself drawn to you and you've made me very happy these past few years." Daisy paused here and took a breath, preparing herself for what she had to say next, "But right now, I don't think love can save us. We're too far apart Glen, two very different people going in opposite directions. We've had some great times and I will always think of you fondly…but now I think it's time for us to be realistic. We're not going to make it. Oh sure, we would throw ourselves completely into it, give it all we have but after a while, we're going to finally see that it's just not going to work. Glen, you have a very special place in my heart. I'm always going to love you. But it's just too far gone for us to try and fix it."
She took his hand then and placed it on her chest, right above her heart. "This will always belong to you." A pause. "But I still have to go."
Now it was Glen whose eyes were tearing up. "Daisy…please…"
"I love you Glen. I hope you find happiness some day. I'll be around in a few days for my stuff. Goodbye." Daisy pressed a kiss to his cheek and left the room. Glen Jacobs heard the front door click shut a few minutes later and he found himself alone in the house. He looked forlornly around the room, sitting himself on the bed. His gaze rested on the picture on the nightstand. Picking it up, he smiled at the Kodak moment of him and Daisy staring into one another's eyes, moments away from a kiss.
His vision blurred then, but he didn't bother to wipe away the tears. No, tonight was meant for crying.
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing self control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry