Title: Only A Muppet?
By: LJinx
Summary: Amusing little fic in which John introduces Rygel to a special friend of his...
Disclaimer: All belongs to Henson and their wonderful creature shop :)
Notes: Ok, I was inspired to write this little fic after a discussion on the Un-Official UK Farscape Board where Angie did Aeryn meets Winnie the Pooh... lol. So its all her fault! ;)
This is also my first fully complete fic. I have others, but my muse is not quite done with them yet ;) So feedback is greatly appreciated :) (and if its good enough, there may be a few more chapters to this fic ;) hehe maybe Chi meets Tiger? ;))
Websites: Wanna see more? www.farscapecreate.com


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Rygel hovered through Moya's long and twisting corridors. It was the sleep cycle and most of the crew had turned into bed, except for Chiana who was keeping watch up in command. This was the perfect time to go to one of his hidden food stores and grab a quick snack.

He stopped outside the Maintenance Bay door and carefully checked the corridor in front and behind him, just to make sure no one was watching. When Rygel was satisfied he wasn't being observed, he pointed his throne sled towards the door and entered.

It was dark in the room. A faint glow came from a corner somewhere, but it was not bright enough to provide any useful light. Rygel stopped. He could hear voices.... Quickly ducking behind one of the large crates around the edge of the room, the Dominar carefully peered in the direction of the noise. What he had thought of as a faint glow earlier was actually the light from a torch sitting on the table. A dark and looming figure sat in front of the light, partially obscuring its glow. His earbrows twitched as he picked up those whispered noises again coming from the stranger at the table, whoever it was had not noticed his presence. Rygel relaxed a bit, then tensed, they had better not be eating my Hynerion Marjules! The thought spurred him out of his hiding place to take a closer look at what the stranger was up to.

The person was moving some brightly coloured, soft looking material items and whispering in different pitched voices. Rygel thought he heard the words "I'll be back" and "kermy.... my little piklet." He shook his head, he must have been mistaken as the words made little sense to him. Yotz, what is this dren? He turned his throne sled, intending to leave when his stomach growled loudly.

"Yotz" Rygel cursed again, but this time it was out loud. The voices stopped abruptly and small Hynerion heard movement behind him. Suddenly alarmed that the stranger may have been angered by the interruption, the Dominar quickly sped his throne sled towards the door, but a hand roughly caught the back of his sled and spun him around. Rygel shielded his eyes against the glare of the torch and prepared himself for the worse.

"Buckwheat?"

Rygel removed his hand and stared into the light blue eyes of John Crichton. The disposed Dominar immediately regained his composure and moved his throne sled out of John Crichton's grasp to rise above the Human. A Dominar should always rise above his subjects, he thought as he remembered what he had been taught as a child. But truth be told, he always felt a lot safer where he could look down on the Human. He snorted, "I am Dominar Rygel the sixteenth, I...."

John grabbed Rygel's Sled and roughly pulled him back down so that he was inches from Rygel's face. "Cut the crap Rygel, Just what are you doing in here and at this time of night?" he demanded.

Rygel's earbrows dipped in nervousness at the look on the Human's face. But he seemed to recover from this state to create a posture that any Dominar would be proud of. He prodded John with one of his short, leathery fingers, "I could ask the same of you. I heard all those weird noises you were making, what the yotz were you up to?"

John suddenly looked nervous as he quickly licked his dry lips. After a moment, he sighed and released his grip on the Dominar to raise his hands in the air. "Ok Sparky, you caught me red handed."

The Human's gesture of surrender (and his Erpism) may have been unfamiliar to the Dominar, but he recognised submission when he saw it. Rygel pondered about the change in the Crichton's attitude, he may be able to use this awkward situation to his advantage... yes, maybe he could use this as blackmail in the future. He smiled inwardly and relaxed into his normal regal composure. "Yes, I am a Dominar and therefore superior in every..."

John put his arm around Rygel and guided him towards the table, interrupting his speech again (the Human had an annoying habit of doing that), "Well since you're here now Spanky, I may as well introduce you to a friend of mine."

Rygel would have protested about the interruption, but he was intrigued as to who this friend could be, so he stayed quiet. Observing the table he had been brought to, Rygel could see many of the brightly coloured material objects, some seemed to look sebacean in appearance, but others looked completely alien and fahrbot. What kind of alien would have eight legs as well as eight eyes and be pink? None that Rygel had ever encountered. He sniffed disdainfully. They reminded him of a Child's playthings, something not worthy of the attention of a Dominar. These must be the 'friends' Crichton was talking about, he mused. This time Rygel truly believed that the Human had gone totally fahrbot. His stomach rumbled again and he thought about his hidden cache of Hynerion Marjules. He needed something to eat.

"Are they edible?" Rygel asked hopefully.

Crichton gave him a look, "Do you always think about food Sparky?"

Rygel decided to ignore the question and not dignify it with an answer. He presumed the objects were not edible and if they were not edible, what other use could they serve? Picking up the eight legged, pink creature, Rygel enquired, "Are they worth anything?"

He saw Crichton glare at him and took that as another no. Flinging the pink, eight eyed creature back on the table, Rygel watched as Crichton, crouched beside him, reached forward and pulled out a green looking material object from the multi-coloured pile.

"Kermit... Meet Rygel the XII, Dominar to over 600 billion subjects.... Rygel meet Kermit the frog, your long lost cousin." The Human grinned.

Frog? Rygel pondered, What the hezmana is a frog? and why/ how is it related to me?? Crichton offered 'Kermit' to him and Rygel took the offered toy. The Frog was bright green in colour with a small, short body that had long arms and legs. The arms and legs ended in some type of flipper indicating the frog was an aquatic animal, much like himself. Two bulbous, white eyes sat on the snout of the frog with slits of black that served as pupils. The mouth was wide open and red in colour, but no visible teeth were to be seen. Rygel's eyes were drawn to the neck (well lack of neck) of Kermit where a lighter green frill adorned the skin. It reminded him very much of a coronation frill which he had worn at his own coronation. He held Kermit a distance from him to study the Frog as a whole, he had to admit that the shade of green, the frill, the slitted eyes and the lack of teeth gave Kermit a striking resemblance to an ancient Hynerion ancestor. The colour of the frill even suggested a Royal position, maybe even Dominar status.

Crichton was looking intently at the Hynerion as he studied the Frog. Rygel realised that he had been gaping in wonder at the similarities between Kermit and his early ancestors. Quickly closing his mouth and turning his nose upwards, Rygel regained his earlier composure and turned his gaze up towards the Human. He noticed a mischievous sparkle in Crichton's eyes.

"Why don't I leave you two to get better acquainted? You seem to be hitting it off just fine..." The Human said smiling whilst trying to stifle a laugh. His eyes were full of mirth.

The Human was laughing at him! A Hynerion Dominar! Rygel snorted, "If you think I am interested in some fahrbot Human nonsense..." Rygel threw Kermit onto the table beside him where he landed, crumpled, in a green heap. Without looking round, Rygel pulled himself to his full height and began again, "I am a Dominar, I have no need of a child's playthings."

Crichton just shrugged, "Whatever Rygel. Look its getting late and I think I'm gonna hit the sack."

Rygel couldn't understand why the Human would want to 'hit a sack' because it was late, but he pushed the comment aside in his mind and classed it as another one of those annoying, incomprehensible Erpisms.

Crichton stretched from his crouched position and yawned, "G'nite Sparky, be a good Dominar and put away the torch, will ya? ta."

Rygel felt like snorting again. Did the Human not think he was a good Dominar?? He watched as Crichton walked away, leaving the Maintainence Bay. He himself had intended to leave too, but as he picked up the torch, he took another look at Kermit. Picking him up Rygel set him carefully on a little box so that he was above the other toys and arranged the long arms and legs so that the Frog sat upright and straight. Once he was satisfied, Rygel sat back in his throne sled and admired his work. Kermit looked most like a regal Dominar, proudly sitting on his throne. As it should be, a powerful Dominar on his throne, just like me Rygel thought proudly. Looking at the rest of the assembled toys and smiled. Another thing they had in common, they were both the handsomest of the lot. And with that the smiling Hynerion turned his throne sled away from the table and left the room.

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John stood hidden by the door as he watched the Bay, his hand over his mouth as he tried to stop himself laughing at the heart-warming, frog-meets-frog scene. Strange thoughts entered his head of Rygel doing the can-can with Miss Piggy and playing baseball with Fozzie bear. He gripped his mouth tighter. Boy would Henson get a kick out of this! he thought.

When he made sure Rygel had gone far down the corridor, he took his hand away from his mouth and began laughing. Hard. After a good few minutes he managed to calm down enough to be able to walk down the corridor. Grinning from ear to ear he began to sing quietly as he strode towards his quarters...

"It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight! ..."

The "most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational" End. ;)