Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Summary: set six months after the war. Snape survived Nagiri's attack and contacts Harry through a series of letters, in which he hopes his actions in the second war will be explained and that he and Harry could have a second chance at a friendship. However Harry is stuck in a hopeless situation that is getting worse and worse by the day, he isn't sure how much more he can take and how much longer he could survive. m/m, abusive relationship, HP/RW, HP/SS.
Harry's Letters
Snape's Letters
Present time.
Letters: One
Dear Harry,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I know this will come as a painful shock to you as you watched me die in your arms during the battle of Hogwarts, however you must know that I didn't die, the antidote that I made to Nagiri's poison sent me into a coma so that it could heal me without causing pain. I never meant to cause you upset Harry, I swear it on your mother's grave.
However that is not what I wanted to say. I find myself sitting alone in my house in spinners end, more and more frequently wishing that I was teaching one of your potions lessons just so that I could speak to you, even if the words exchanged were insults and barbs. I find myself unable to focus fully on anything Harry and I know that the feelings I seem to be developing will not go away so easily as a simple crush or infatuation.
I know this may come as a shock to you, that I, the dungeon bat of Hogwarts have actual feelings and that I'm admitting them to you of all people, but I find myself quite without the hate and bitterness that burned in me for all those years now that the war is over. I know it will be hard to comprehend, and I know that you are in a relationship with that dunderhead Weasley, sorry, Ronald Weasley, but Harry, if you are happy then I will except that and I will leave you alone to live your life to the fullest you can. However, if you are not then you should know that I will fight for your affections in every way I know how, not all of them necessarily fair.
Yours always,
Severus Snape.
Harry was in tears by the end of the letter. He was so relieved that the imposing man had survived the final battle. Out of all the deaths, Hagrid, Arthur and Molly Weasley, Hermione, Fred, George, Percy, Ginny, Minerva, Remus and Tonks; it had been Snape's that he had cried the most tears over, and for once he wasn't even sure why.
Knowing that the man was alive and that he wanted him made his chest warm in a pleasant way; he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when his hate had turned to love, but it had. Slowly and surely it had developed until he was sobbing on his knees with the paper clutched to his chest.
It wasn't until Ron walked in that he stood and wiped the tears from his face, quickly shoving the letter into the bottom draw of his desk, picking up his quill and settling in his chair to sign more sheets of paper.
"Good afternoon Ron." He said pleasantly, not expecting the sharp smack to the back of his head that had him wincing and dropping his quill as he moved from the chair quickly away from the red-head.
"Afternoon retard." Harry flinched at the name; he wasn't sure what had hurt more, the slap or the insults.
"Why do you have to be like this?" Harry cried as the tears started falling again.
"Because you are a murdering whore." He shouted as he backhanded Harry around the face.
"Ron please…" Harry cried, begging his once friend now boyfriend to stop.
"No!" he roared back as he picked Harry up by pulling on his hair, before throwing him on the bed. "Your uncle had the right idea Potter, you deserved every smack, punch, whip, kick and rape; because you are a freak, a nothing." He taunted, watching the tears fall down the saviours face as he advanced across the bed towards him, undoing his belt as he charmed Harry's clothes off.
"Ron please don't," Harry begged as Ron tied him to the headboard, tearing his legs open before pushing himself into the raven haired man ruthlessly. "Stop it!" he cried as Ron began ruthlessly pounding into him, slapping him around before removing a knife from the bedside table and carving the words 'freak', 'whore' and 'murderer' into his chest.
Harry cried out as Ron thrust particularly hard, thinking back to the start of their relationship, how kind and gentle Ron had been to him; what had gone wrong?
Harry was guessing it was when death-eaters murdered half of his family.
Ron finished loudly, slapping Harry's face harshly a few times muttering what a good whore he was before leaving the room and stumbling to the shower for a wash.
He waited until Ron had been in the shower for a few minutes and his tears had slowed slightly before he stumbled to the desk and grabbed his quill penning a brief note to Severus. Attaching it to his brand new eagle-owl Helios, he collapsed back onto the bed and waited.
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Severus was sitting nervously in his study when Harry's owl came, he had moved so quickly to take the note from the bird that it had squawked indignantly, only releasing the letter when Snape retrieved a treat from his desk for the bird.
The note was opened frantically, in a very un-Snape-like manner and the dark haired man nearly bought down the whole house with his rage as he saw the scratchy, rushed writing on the page.
Severus,
Help me please, I am beyond unhappy.
Harry.
The apparition was swift; he hadn't even thought of his destination before he was disappearing, needing to help the teen that had somehow stolen his heart without his knowledge.
The sight that greeted him was one that he was sure he would never forget.
The teen that he had sworn to protect was curled on the centre of a bed, naked and bleeding from many places, including in-between his pale, soft thighs. The rage that consumed him was second only to his worry about Harry's welfare.
He moved quickly to the young man, stoking the sweat-damp hair from his eyes as he whispered to the teen, trying to wake him up.
"Severus, you came." He whispered moving one of his hands to caress the older man's cheek.
"Of course I came." He whispered back as he looked at the teen with tears in his eyes.
"I'm so glad you're alive," Harry whispered weakly as he stared at the man he had cried over. "I didn't know what to do when I thought you'd gone."
"Who's doing this to you Harry?" he asked as one of the tears fell from his eye and rolled down his pale cheek.
"Please Sev, just take me away from it, I can't take it anymore. Please." He begged. Wondering how much longer Ron would spend in the shower.
"Where's your trunk?" he asked quickly standing from the side of the bed and looking at Harry for an answer.
"Wardrobe." He replied quietly as Severus retrieved it and packed all of Harry's belongings into it with a careful accio. "Sev?" he called softly, waiting till the man was looking at him before carrying on. "There's a little panel at the back of the wardrobe, you'll have to remove it by hand and then there's a cubby hole with a cardboard box in it, please bring it with us." He whispered as he tried to stand from the bed, he was shaky and unstable and Severus couldn't help but compare him to a new born foal, all nimble and unsure. He quickly moved towards the teen and wrapped the comforter from the bed around him as the younger man was still quite naked.
They were just moving towards the centre of the room to apperate when Harry remembered the letter that Severus had sent him. Moving towards the desk he quickly grabbed it along with his wand before instructing Helios to fly to Severus' house.
The bird did so with an affectionate nudge and a small squawk. Harry turned to face Severus as he put the letter in his pocket, smiling softly as he saw the man who had saved him smile at him. Just as his and Sev's fingers twined together the bathroom door smashed open and a very angry red-head stood in the doorway.
"What the fuck is going on here?"
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Snape automatically saw the difference in Harry; the boy clutched the blanket tighter to him and he became more submissive, head down, eyes averted. It was painful to watch what the saviour had been reduced to; it was painful to see what Weasley had done to the once happy boy. But that's not exactly true is it; a voice whispered inside Snape's head, he had never been happy; he had never had reason to be happy, had he? Voldemort, his parents, Sirius, Cedric and now Ronald Weasley; people who he had lost or had treated him deplorably.
"Where are you going whore, shacking up with the bat?" Ron sneered and Harry flinched, moving slightly more into the potion masters side. "Can't say that I'm overjoyed that you're alive Snape, I would have preferred it if you'd rotted in the shrieking shack." Harry flinched again at this.
"I am this close to hexing you senseless and removing a piece of your anatomy that I am very sure you would miss Mr Weasley." Severus growled, clutching Harry closer to his side as he shrunk the boy's trunk, applied a weightless charm and placed it in his pocket.
"I fucking dare you Snape." He spat as he advanced towards the pair. "I'm bloody glad you're taking him off my hands anyway; more trouble than he's worth and he's not even a good shag." Ron spat. It was with those words that Snape's very thin temper snapped, he did hex Mr Weasley and he did remove a vital piece of equipment before they apperated back to spinners end.
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When they got there Severus immediately helped Harry so that he was lay down on the sofa, he then moved to his lab and retrieved all of the potions he knew he would need to heal the boy's wounds.
He knelt down carefully, setting the bottles next to him in the order he would need them before he asked Harry softly to remove the comforter that he was still wrapped in.
The young man hesitated at this and tensed on the sofa, staring at Snape with worried eyes.
"I need to heal you Harry, I swear I won't touch you more than is necessary." He vowed and the teen eventually nodded, dropping the comforter so that it opened and allowed Severus to see the extensive damage that the youngest Weasley male had inflicted upon this beautiful creature.
"Oh Harry." He sighed before calling a house elf, asking the small creature to bring him a bowl of tepid water and some cloths and towels. When she returned with everything he asked for he spent the next half an hour carefully washing the blood from the younger man, taking special care with the areas that were still bleeding.
It wasn't until Snape came to Harry's blood covered thighs that the raven haired boy flinched.
"Harry I swear I won't hurt you, I just need to tend to the wounds that Mr Weasley inflicted. Will you spread your legs please Harry?" Severus asked softly, knowing that it must be beyond difficult for the boy. Eventually he did what the professor asked, spreading his legs open and allowing the older man to wipe the blood from his private area.
It took a while to get rid of all the red, but the net bit was going to be the hardest.
"Harry, I have a salve that will help the tearing heal, remove infection and make it hurt less, but I have to put it directly on the damaged area and massage it in slightly." He said sombrely as he watched Harry tense.
"You'll be careful?" Harry asked quietly, needing the reassurance that the man that saved him wouldn't take advantage of him now that he had him on his own.
"I swear it, little one." Snape whispered back, carefully running his hand up Harry's thigh so that the intrusion didn't come as a shock.
Part of him was glad that the teen was still loose from Ron's attack; entering the boy with his salve covered fingers was easy and he was careful as he applied the cream to the boy's walls, not wanting to cause the teen any more pain. He removed his fingers for a moment to collect more of the cream.
"Are you finished?" Harry whispered to the older man.
"Not yet Harry, he's caused a lot of damage, and the damage had gone quite deep; I'm sorry Harry but it will hurt when I apply it this time because I have to go a lot deeper, to make sure that everywhere has been treated." Severus genially felt terrible as he saw the tears fall down the teen's cheeks at the thought of more pain.
"I'm so sorry Harry." He whispered as he once again entered the boy with his fingers, taking a moment to stretch the boy before he pushed deeper and quickly applied the salve. It was when he was applying it that Harry began to whine. "It's okay Harry, I'm nearly done." He whispered as Harry bucked his hips, trying to pull away Snape assumed.
He quickly removed his fingers and wiped the two of them on a clean towel before picking up one of the jars to heal cuts without leaving scars.
After replacing the comforter over Harry's nether regions he began to smooth the paste into the cuts that Harry had on his chest and back before moving on to a bruise balm and repeating the action so that he wouldn't be sore in the morning.
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Dinner was a quiet affair that night, Harry's cheeks stained a permanent red from earlier's events, and it wasn't until they retired to the lounge for a hot chocolate that they began speaking again.
"Why did you stay with him Harry?" Snape had asked as he stared into the roaring fire, watching the flames dance with aged eyes.
"I… when Hermione died Ron fell apart but I seemed to hold it together, I suppose we had never been as close as she had been with Ron. But then you died and I saw your memories and I couldn't recover; I was a complete mess. Ron was nice in the first few weeks, kind understanding and sensitive. I knew it was a mistake the second we finished the first time; I felt dirty and used but he seemed so happy, like the old Ron for a moment and I thought that it didn't really matter if I was happy or not, because I got my best friend back. But then… the remaining death eaters that had evaded capture attacked The Burrow and killed most of his family. They left a modified version of the Dark Mark in the sky that stated that they did it for pay back." Harry's eyes were watering at this point and Severus was almost in tears himself. "They knew how much I loved the Weasleys, how they were like my family, so they slaughtered them and Ron blamed me. He was so angry… the first time he didn't even apologise, just left me naked and battered in the remains of The Burrow; he didn't speak to me until I apologised. But I kept going back because he needed me and I deserved it, how many people have died for me? One hundred? One thousand?"
Snape nearly went back to kill the red-head as he heard Harry speak. But instead, he settled for pulling Harry into his arms and whispering over and over again that it wasn't the teen's fault.
"Do you understand Harry? Those people chose to fight against Voldemort, they knew the risk but they did it because they knew it was the right thing to do. It was not your fault." He whispered pulling the teen tighter into his arms.
"Sev?" the teen whispered quietly as he pushed his head into the man's chest, feeling safe and warm for the first time he could remember.
"Yes little one?" He murmured back, pulling them down onto the sofa and letting Harry snuggle into his side.
"I think I love you." He whispered carefully as he buried his face into the potion masters chest.
"I think I love you too, little one."
That is how they fell asleep that night, on the sofa, wrapped in each other's arms.
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When they woke the next morning they had a quiet breakfast before Snape suggested getting Harry settled in a room.
"Sev?" Harry said quietly as they stood in front of the guest room that Severus had intended to give to Harry. "Can I stay with you… please…? I don't feel safe on my own, not after everything." He whispered and Snape quickly agreed, hugging Harry to his side as he moved to his room and opened his- their- door.
When they entered he quickly enlarged the bed slightly and the wardrobe a lot, so that they could fit everything in it. He then put a desk against the empty wall and added another bookcase so that they both had one in the room. Finally he created another dresser so that there was one on either side of the bed, one for each of them.
"I noticed your desk was in your room at Weasley's place so I thought you might like it here as well, but I've had my elf put another one in my study so that you can do anything you need to in there with me if you want."
"Thank you." Harry whispered as he ran his hand over the heavy oak desk that Severus had created for him from a hanky, it was utterly beautiful; the legs were thick and wrapped with wooden vines with carved roses on them, twined with ivy leaves and what looked like violets. Harry could honestly say it was the most beautiful piece of furniture he had ever seen.
"Come on, we need to unpack little one." He muttered, lifting Harry's trunk onto the bed before starting to unpack his small amount of clothes into his side of the wardrobe.
When he had finished and Harry had finished putting nick-knacks, his pants and socks in different bed side draws he moved to his desk, placing quills, parchment and other such things that he may need on the desk before placing important paperwork in the first draw and leaving the second draw empty.
When Severus enlarged the cardboard box that Harry had asked him to retrieve from the hidey-hole, Harry sprinted over quickly and snatched the box in an uncharacteristic display of protectiveness.
"Sorry." He apologised, blushing bashfully as he saw the shocked expression on Severus' face.
"What's in it?" Severus asked curiously. "You hid it from view and protect it vehemently."
"It's a box of my most treasured possessions from the most important people in my life." Harry mumbled softly, blushing slightly as he thought of how childish it must sound.
"Will you show me?" Severus asked quietly and Harry nodded softly.
They sat together on the rug in front of the bedroom fireplace as Harry pulled out the first item, caressing it fondly before handing it trustingly to Snape.
"Don't laugh at any of it or I'll stop; but this was the very first chocolate frog box I ever had. I got it on the train and the stupid frog jumped right out of the window, I never even ate it. But the card was Dumbledore, it was really weird because he just looked like an old man in a dress the first time I saw him but he ended up being one of the most important parts of my life."
Snape smiled at this and placed the box on the rug as Harry rooted through the large box for the next thing he wanted to show.
The teen smiled at the photo before passing it to the potions master.
"It was the first ever wizarding photo I had taken of me or I saw."
Snape smiled as he saw a smaller version of the raven haired teen, smiling proudly in his Gryffindor robes with Hedwig perched on his arm, the little boy grinned happily at the camera before turning to face the bird where he rubbed her head. The beautiful snowy owl then nuzzled his cheek before squawking before the picture looped and started again.
"Do you miss her?" Severus asked softly and Harry turned to smile softly at him.
"Every day, she was my first real friend." Snape placed the picture by the chocolate frog box as harry handed him the next item.
"Once, we went down to see Hagrid and he had a baby dragon that was about to hatch we got to watch, Hagrid called him Norbert. They had to move him to the reserve in Romania but Hagrid let me keep the shell; it was special thought because it was the first thing I ever saw being born. I don't know, I just thought that it was special."
Snape smiled at this and place the egg carefully back on the floor with the growing pile of things they had looked at already.
"Next two," Harry said as he pulled out a shimmery cloth and a piece of paper. "The Marauders map and the invisibility cloak from the deathly hallows."
"The cloak doesn't come as a surprise Harry," Snape chuckled as Harry placed it on the floor next to the egg. "Your father left it for you and Dumbledore warned me that he would be giving it to you before he did. But what is the Marauders Map?" he asked questioningly and Harry showed him.
"So that's how you snuck in and out of the castle all of the time, you sneaky child!" Snape exclaimed as he laughed boisterously. Harry like Snape's laugh; it was inviting and warm like thick honey. He wanted to hear it more.
The next thing out of the bag was the potions text book that once belonged to the Half-Blood-Prince.
"Why did you keep this?" Snape asked quietly.
"It reminded me that you struggled as much as me in your childhood. You were bullied and lonely, and you still put energy into creating things that would help people, because you are a good person. I guess it reminded me of a different part of you that you didn't show to everybody."
"There are spells in there to harm people." Snape said, trying to ignore the way that Harry was painting him; like a hero.
"I know." Harry replied. "I just chose to believe that you were a better person than that."
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The next few items were easy to explain; photos of Harry with Dumbledore, Harry with Hagrid, with Ron and Hermione from better times, Harry with the Weasley family, Harry with Snape for some reason, the photo made the man pause in shock.
The photo was obviously take in a detention, Harry was sat at his desk, writing what looked to be lined or homework and Severus was at his own desk, grading papers. The photo moved slowly as if it were taunting the wizard holding it; first Harry looked up at Snape and smiled, thinking the man couldn't see, before he returned to his work. Then Snape looked from his work to smile softly at the teen, thinking he couldn't see, before turning back to his grading.
The photo made Snape smile.
"Turn it over." The dark haired man nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Harry talking to him. There were words on the back, in what Snape recognised as Dumbledore's handwriting.
Harry my boy,
I know that you are scared of Voldemort and what lies ahead, and I know that you are struggling with who to trust but you need to be strong.
The world has asked too much of you in your short life child and I need you to know that I am sorry that I had to leave you unexpectedly, more sorry than I'll ever be able to express in words.
I love you as I would love my child, you are as good as my child Harry and I don't ever want you to forget that. I love you.
The last think that I will advise you in this life is this; Severus Snape is the only one you can trust. Harry, I know that this is going to be hard to understand and you may think that these are the ramblings of a mad man (they may well be), but the only person that I have ever trusted with my life, and with yours dear one is Severus.
He may seem cold, but he has sacrificed a lot in his life so that we can win the war. We will win the war Harry.
I am sorry Harry but my time is running short and I must go, but know this; I love you my son, and I know that you can do this; I know that you can save us and I know that you can help lead the wizarding world out of the darkness and into the light.
All my trust, faith and love,
Albus Dumbledore
So what do we think? Continue or leave as a one shot? Please review, it makes me happy.