Summary: Beckett has lost something! Oh no: o

Note: Yes, I realize I should be updating Secret Obsessions, Ping Pong Chronicles, and Davy Jones's Hunger. Leave me alone. I'll get to those soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in here, except for that servant. Well, I'm actually not sure if I even own him. He could be one of those extras in the movie. Maybe I own the neat totem pole…?

It had been fair, far too long.

Beckett raced around his room, desperately searching for something.

"NO!" he screamed, tears coursing down his face. "I can't find it! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Jack appeared in a puff of glittering, pink smoke. "Wot's the matter, mate?" he said, swaggering in a diamondish pattern. "Need some 'elp from ol' Cap'n Jack Sparrow?"

Beckett squawked and jumped back, knocking over a chair in the process. "NOT YOU! SOMEONE BESIDES SPARROW HELP ME!"

"Yeah, 'bout time ye realized that you need 'elp, you bloody chicken!" With that, Jack disappeared in another puff of hot pink smoke.

Since no one came right away, Beckett dropped to the ground and rolled around for a bit. Finally, he stopped and lay there like a dead, shivering log.

"Chicken… milkshake… warm it up!" he sobbed, his body twitching.

"Er, are you okay, milord?" A servant asked, poking his head in the doorway.

"Do I look okay!" Beckett yodeled.

"Um, do you want an honest opinion on that, milord?"

"I don't care! Just help me, please!" The plea seemed torn form Beckett's throat, and he kicked a shoe off of his foot.

"What exactly is the problem, milord?" The servant asked, dodging the shoe and stepping into the room. He closed the door behind him.

Bad move.

Beckett jumped up off of the ground and raced toward the servant, pinning him against the wall. He licked the servant's nose (me: why did I write that!) and demanded, "Where is it?"

"Where's what?" the servant squeaked. The poor chap was so scared and traumatized that he had forgotten to add "milord" to the end of his sentence.

"My belly dancing outfit! I know you have it!" Beckett screeled. (That's a cross between screeched and wailed. Made that up on the spot, I did.)

The servant glanced at Beckett's clothing, and was about to say something when Beckett spat in his face, turned him around, and smacked him on the caboose.

The servant said, "Ouch! Milord."

Beckett was about to begin warming the servant's patootie in earnest, when the servant spoke up.

"Wait, milord! You're belly dancing outfit is not lost, milord!"

"It's not?" Beckett repeated, slowly turning the servant around to face him.

"No, milord. You're wearing it, milord!"

Beckett looked down at his outfit and squealed like a little girl.

"I am wearing it! Kiss me, you fool!" Beckett pursed his lips, and his face began to descend toward the servant's.

The servant finally cracked, and fled up the nearest chimney to escape Beckett.

Shrugging, Beckett exited his room, and ran as fast as he could to the nearest road, which conveniently was located right at his doorstep.

"WARM IT UP!"

And with that proclamation, he belly danced into the sunset.

THE END!

Pfft. Like I would let Beckett have a happy ending.

Beckett was so busy belly dancing, that he failed to notice Spazzy (aka Jacoby) running down the road holding a totem pole.

"GARAFLAKGUNGAPOO!" Spazzy howled, and hurled the totem pole at Beckett.

Squish, went the Beckett.

THE END!

Now, that's more like it! ;)