Stepping out of the shower, he gave himself a long look in the mirror, wiping the condensation away with his right hand. He sighed as he looked down at his arms and chest that still bore the scars of his ordeal at the hands of the sadistic Malucci's.
He felt a shudder go through him as his mind cast back to those horrific few days that he was at the mercy of those monsters. Truth be told, he didn't really remember much past being taken onto the boat, the next memory he had was of waking up in a hospital room with a teary Calleigh looking down at him.
Calleigh, he thought, with a sense of regret. He'd put her through so much these last few months and had no idea why she'd stuck by him like she had. He'd been scared, angry and bitter at his inability to deal with his emotional and physical needs and his anger had found a target in her.
Each time he tried to push her away she would tighten her grip on him and refuse to let him go. It frustrated him that she couldn't see how pathetic he was, how the Malucci's had systematically broken him until he was nothing but the shell of the man he used to be. He remembered with a sense of shame how he had cried like a small child as he heard the sound of Kyle being shot. It was only later, whilst he was lying in that hospital bed, that he learned that the whole thing was just another of Danny's sick games designed to torment him.
And it had tormented him; even now he woke in a sweat after dreaming that Kyle had been brutally slain, just like Marisol had, and all because of him. His time being held prisoner had taught him that he would always place the people he loved in danger, they would be made targets for no other reason than that they were close to him.
He needed to distance himself from all of them; it seemed as if his life was coming full-circle as he once more contemplated a life of solitude, away from the people he had an emotional connection with. He had tried to outrun his past once before and failed miserably.
He sighed as he grabbed the hand towel and began drying his freshly-washed hair, wincing slightly as his finger ran over the inch-long scar on the back of his head. The wound had long since healed but the hair surrounding the thin line would never grow back and served as yet another reminder of how he had failed once again.
He shook the negative thoughts away as he began towelling his chest and arms, stopping as his hand ran over the long scar on his left forearm. The cast had been taken off several weeks ago but the damaged bones that had been plated still gave him a dull aching pain from time to time. He flexed the now-healed fingers of his left hand and shook the appendage lightly, trying to make the tingling sensation running through it dissipate.
He took another look at himself in the mirror as he began brushing his teeth, he could still feel the several veneers he'd had put in, they still felt odd and out of place in his mouth but served to make him look much less horrific than when he'd finally regained consciousness almost four months ago.
Flashback. Miami: 14 weeks ago:
Having been released from Alexx's tender care the day before, Calleigh approached Horatio's side and lowered herself into the chair by his hospital bed. Alexx had warned her to take it easy and to rest to allow her own body to recover after the strain she had put it through in her panic to find Horatio. That was easier said than done and she had only lasted a little over 24 hours before she called Eric and begged him to come and pick her up and drive her to the hospital.
She'd brought a trashy romance novel to read with her and had the presence of mind to bring rations along too so that she could stay by the redhead's side in case he woke. Alexx had told her that Horatio was doing as well as could be expected and that the surgery had gone as well as they could have hoped yesterday. All they could do now was sit back and wait.
She smiled at the nurses who entered the room as they smiled softly at her and made encouraging noises about Horatio's progress. The room was silent except for the regular beeping of the monitors and the steady ticking of the clock on the wall. It eased her worry a little to hear the monotonous beeping of the machines monitoring the redhead's condition, it was far stronger and more rhythmical than it had been since he'd been brought in. She found the noise quite relaxing and felt her eyes getting heavier as she relaxed further into the chair she was sitting on.
"Calleigh, I thought I told you to go home and rest," Alexx admonished as she made her way into the room, checking the readings on the monitors and noting something on the chart at the end of the bed.
She felt her cheeks flame, embarrassed to be caught napping by her friend.
"Sorry, I must have dropped off," she said as she picked her book up off the floor and placed it on the bed by Horatio's unmoving hand.
"This isn't what I meant by rest, sugar."
"I know, but I needed to see him. All I've been doing is sitting here, I promise."
She gave Alexx her most sincere smile and the kindly doctor was unable to stop her own face from mirroring that of her friend.
"How's he doing, Alexx, really?"
The doctor walked to the head of the bed and placed a hand on the redhead's forehead, stroking the hair on his head tenderly as if he were her child.
"He gave us a few scares, but he came through the surgery. I would like to think that he's got through the worst of it now but there are still a number of complications that could arise."
She smiled at Calleigh as she placed a gentle, loving kiss on the unconscious man's head.
"I know how tough and stubborn Horatio can be, he's got a strong constitution and I think that's what'll sway it for him. I'm certainly more hopeful about his prognosis than I was when he came in."
Their eyes met over the bed, neither woman needed to put into words the horrific sight they had seen that day. It was an image that would last with all of them forever.
It was a few hours later when Horatio had finally started showing signs of waking as Calleigh was disturbed from her reading by a low groaning noise emanating from the bed. She placed the book down on the chair as she stood up and leaned over the bed, encouraging the unconscious man to open his eyes.
She'd lost track of time as she watched him groan and move several times before finally managing to open his eyes. The eyelids were barely open and the eyes behind them were glassy with pain and confusion and yet she had never been so glad to see him as she had right then.
"Hello, handsome," she crooned as she brushed the hair from his forehead.
She watched as he blinked a couple of times and reached out to take hold of his right hand, giving a light squeeze when she found it.
His eyes opened and closed a couple of times and she could see them rolling up into his head as he tried to keep them open. After a few minutes of battling his own body he finally seemed to be gaining some awareness of his surroundings.
With awareness came shock, as his brain began processing the images from his eyes he screwed them tightly shut as if in pain as the brightness of the artificial light in the room hit him. He gasped in pain and shock as the light assaulted his deprived senses.
Sensing his distress, Calleigh squeezed his hand tighter as she tried to figure out what was wrong.
"What is it, Horatio? Are you in pain?" she asked as she lent closer to his face.
He struggled to form the words, muffled as they were by the oxygen mask on his face.
"The…lights…..turn them off," he gasped as he kept his eyes tightly shut.
She did as he asked without question, before returning to his side, letting out a sigh of relief as she saw him physically relax in the darkened room. Her senses were now on high alert, realising that something was seriously wrong with her beloved redhead.