Raphael hit some tricks on his skateboard at the skate park while Michelangelo video recorded him with a Samsung Galaxy S 8.
"Woah, cowabunga! That was like totally awesome brah. So like, like totally awesome brah." He meant every word from the bottom of his turtle heart and ninja soul.
Raphael appreciated that he meant it. Michelangelo appreciated the fact he was appreciated.
"What do you think of a woman's right to choose Michelangelo?" Raphael stopped skating and walked over to his brother.
"I don't know, it is a complicated issue brah." The nunchuck doning TMNT was hoping for a convo that was not a bummer, but Raphael had been spending a lot of time on liberal news groups on Facebook.
"How is it complicated? Women have domain over their bodies, not God."
"Is it really that simple my brother?"
"Yes, it really is that simple."
"But, you know, what if God had a plan for those souls."
"That makes no sense! If God had a plan over those souls, why put them in a woman who he knew was going to get an abortion?"
"He didn't know though. He was testing. He have free will!"
"Oh I see how it is. He can't tell if a baby is going to get aborted or not but he knew thousands of years ago how we'd kill ourselves off. Sounds fishy to me."
"You just don't get it."
"No, you just don't get it!"
Michelangelo and Raphael got so mad they fought to the death and both died. Shredder then showed up.
"Muwahahaha! I knew if they discussed abortion long enough, it would destroy them, the same way the right and the left are destroying America right now! Bahahahaha!"
Shredder only needed to kill Leonardo and Donatello before all of the Ninja Turtles would be dead, and he could finally hit on April O'Neal without getting cockblocked. But how would he do that? He did not know, but he had an inkling there was one person who could help him.