Disclaimer: All hail to Matt and Trey!
A/N: Just some moral-y stuff before: PLEASE STOP THAT GODDAMN SHIPPING WAR! Kyman and Style are BOTH just fine and even though Kyman is my OTP Style comes right behind and I don't wanna be forced to commit to either of these pairings! Therefore: Please stop fighting guys! *puppy eyes*
"Goddammit! Why does Cartman keep saying we were gay?"
"'Cause he's a fat, stupid dickhead?"
Kyle snorted. "That's no real reason. We're not gay!"
Stan sighed. They were actually supposed to do their homework, that's why Kyle came over in the first place but now he just wouldn't shut up. It always drove the ginger boy crazy when Cartman called them gay, even more than he let the others of the group know.
This had to stop. Stan was lost without his best friend explaining the homework to him. Mr. Garrison always came up with such hard questions and they never had anything to do with what they did in class.
"How about we run a test?" Stan proposed.
"A test? What kind of test?"
"A gay test. To prove that Cartman's wrong!"
Kyle thought about it. "Fine. How do we test it?"
"Well... we could do something really gay and if we don't like it we're straight."
"You mean like going over to Butters' and playing Hello Kitty with him?"
"No, that's too gay. Even for a test."
"So... what else did you have in mind?"
"I don't know. I guess we could... kiss each other or something?"
"Dude, that's totally gay."
"Well duh. That's the purpose!"
"Alright! Alright!"
Awkward silence.
"So... on the lips?"
"I guess."
"Like... now?"
"Whenever you're ready, bro."
Kyle took a deep breath.
"Alright. I'm ready."
"Now?"
"Now."
They both leaned forward and their lips touched. Probably a little longer than they should have.
When they pulled away they each could read the mutual expression on their faces.
Oh shit.
"Well..." Kyle started after an awkward silence. "I-i don't think I'm gay."
"Neither am I." claimed Stan. "But... to be perfectly sure we should probably run a second test."
"Absolutely."
This time the kiss lasted longer since neither of them wanted to be the first one to pull back. It wasn't that it felt good or anything, it was just...
"I always knew you two were gay little turds!"
Stan and Kyle jumped apart.
"Shelly! Get out of my room!"
"Fine. But even if I do you two are still gay little turds."
"We're not gay! We were just testing!"
"Yeah! We weren't enjoying it. That means we're straight!"
"I've been standing here for two minutes while you two were kissing passionately. Sounds pretty gay to me!"
The two boys were blushing at those words but Stan quickly gained his confidence back.
"Well... it's none of your business anyway so get the hell out of my room or I'm calling Mom and Dad!"
"Fine! It's probably best if I leave now anyway before I throw up over how gay you two are, you little turds!"
With those words she stormed out and slammed the door shut.
There was more awkward silence before Kyle dared to speak again.
"Well... since apparently there are still some uncertainties about our sexuality it's probably best if we run another test."
Stan's smirk was answer enough.