Chapter One: The Beast Who Shouted "Umm... Hello?" At The Heart Of The World

Rei marched energetically into Shinji's room. "Hi Shinji-kun! ^____^" She exclaimed, giggling slightly. "Have you seen Asuka or Misato around? I'm just so excited about our little trip back to Tokyo-3 today! ^_~;;;;"
Shinji giggled too. It made him happy to see Rei in such a good mood. She rarely even smiled before, but ever since… Ever since that day, she had drastically changed. Everything had changed after that day.
The day that Kaworu had died.
"I think they went shopping to get some food for the trip. They'll probably be back in a half-hour or so." The trio of teenagers and their guardian Misato had left Tokyo-3 soon after the defeat of the final Angel. Now they lived in a small town many miles away from their old home, where their true identities as saviours of the world went unknown.
There was a noise from along the hall in their apartment. "Waiii!" Rei squealed, turning to the door. "That could be the two of them back now! ^_____^"
Misato staggered into the room. Rei looked at her, her eyes sparkling. "Kirei… ;_;" She whispered. As soon as they had left Tokyo-3, there had been a drastic change in the three chosen pilots. Rei had finally learned how to deal with her emotions and was eager to experience them all to the full. Along with this newfound lust for life had come rampant uninhibited lesbianism. Rei showed absolutely no interest in boys, but was eager to touch the soft silky flesh of the young ladies of the small town.
Misato was still the same old Misato, though even more radiant and beautiful than ever, the alcoholic MILF who brought home a different man every night. Shinji often wondered how this was possible, as she would likely have exhausted the entire male population of the town within a month. Misato sometimes got the impression that he was almost jealous. She stood in the doorway, wearing a cap with two cans of beer strapped to the sides and straws dangling down, allowing her to drink them both at her leisure without the use of her hands.
"Ah buggrit ye feckers. Ya feckin' lez, gerroffa me!" exclaimed the inebriated Misato as Rei curiously reached for Misato's firm, plump breasts. She pushed the giggling Rei onto the bed and uttered a stream of expletives that made poor Shinji blush.
"Oh stop it you two!" he said in his lispy, feminine voice. He waved at the two fighting girls, his hands flailing limply. Shinji had drastically changed in the few short months as well. Ever since he had spent the night in Kaworu's passionate embrace he had learned to colour-coordinate his wardrobe and had begun listening to cheesy European Pop music instead of his usual classical fare.
"Oh, you two are such sillies!" he giggled.
Misato turned to him, her mouth moving silently as she tried to find the right words to express how she felt inside.
"Feck off!" she slurred. Her brow creased as she forced her mental processes into action once more. "Drink! DRINK!"
"Huh, like, whatever." Came a voice from outside the door. Asuka stepped sullenly into the room. Her hair was no longer a fiery red but a deep, dark black with a hint of blue here and there. Her ears were pierced in several places, as was her left nostril and right eyebrow, which had two diamond studs in it. The golden hoop on her nostril reflected the sunlight streaming in through the window, making it hard for Shinji to see her face clearly. He could tell that she was wearing her usual pale make-up and dark eyeliner complete with shiny black lip-gloss. Her low-cut top revealed a tattoo of a skull above and to the right of her cleavage, and a new one that she must have only got recently because the skin still seemed raw, a dagger on her right arm. He could also make out several scars on her wrist.
"Whatcha lookin' at, gimp?" she asked Shinji irritably. Ever since coming around from her short-lived coma, Asuka had become a totally different person. She spent most of her time online, writing poetry and fanfiction for her favourite anime ever: Gundam Wing. All her time spent in front of a computer had taken its toll, as her once-pert figure was a little more rounded than before.
She snorted rudely at the group and stomped away to her own room.
"Oh deary!" Shinji said to the remaining two squabbling girls. "I think Asuka is having a little bit of a strop! She is such a silly sometimes!"
"Aww shut yer mouth ya damn dirty fag! Look… Look at yer… Tha' bloody outfit! Ye look like one o' the Village People!"
"Yes! Isn't it simply adorable?" Shinji beamed. Finally someone had noticed how fabulous he looked!
"…No."


Asuka sat at her PC. She knew that she was supposed to be leaving soon but she had a great idea for a poem. She quickly typed it out on the screen:

ANGST.
SO LONELY.
THE DARKNESS HAUNTS MY TORTURED SOUL.
MY SPIRIT IN THIS HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY.

She smiled. It was almost perfect! It captured everything she felt inside. There was only one thing that could improve it. She ran the Thesaurus program.

ANGUISH
HENCE FORLORN.
THE SHADOWS RILE MY AGONIZED CORE.
MY WILL IN THIS PURGATORY FOR ALL PERPETUITY.

Asuka almost gasped in awe at the poem, now revised by the computer. Every word beat in synch with her heart, her mind, her very soul. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue before the tears smeared her perfect makeup. Having saved the document she opened up her web browser and went to her favourite fanfiction site. After uploading the new poem which she entitled "Bleed", she noted that her latest fanfic had a new review. Before she could check that, she needed to add a description for her new poem:

This is how I feel inside. None of you pathetic humans could possibly comprehend my pain. Read and Review please! Thanks!!! ^______^

Satisfied, she saved the description and turned to the latest review.

Jeez girl, get a biology lesson before you write any more of this trash. It's not possible to lick a man's prostate unless you ripped his ass open and jammed your head into the bleeding, torn cavity. Apart from that your work is excellent and you should ignore all the flames. They're obviously homophobes and probably all secretly homosexuals themselves! ^_~

She snorted at the review. Generally, she snorted at a lot of things, but people who didn't give utterly positive reviews caused her to snort so hard that her nose would eject large lumps of mucus and phlegm onto the monitor. She grabbed a Kleenex and wiped the screen, grumbling irritably to herself.
How dare they rubbish her work! She knew she was brilliant. She was much better than the people constantly quoted as geniuses of the English language. That Shakespeare couldn't even write a damn sentence properly. She knew in her heart that one day she would become famous and show them all! When she was rich and powerful she would track down every single reviewer whose review had been anything less than glowing with abject praise, and have him or her brutally killed. She smiled inwardly; she new that day was drawing nearer and that they were obviously just jealous. Had Heero Yuy not told her so himself in her last fanfic?
"Asuka-chan! Get ready; it's almost time to go!! ^_____^" Came Rei's voice from down the hall. She snorted once more, and shut off her computer.


Half an hour later they were all sitting in Misato's car as she swerved carelessly along the road. The car lurched almost as drunkenly as it's driver as it turned a tight corner.
"I see a little silhouetto of a man! Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolts and lightning! Vewy vewy fwightening--" Shinji sang.
"Oh will you shut up!" Asuka shouted, over the sounds of Shinji's song.
"But I think it's sweet! ^_____^;;;;;" Rei replied. "Please go on, Shinji!"
"Hmph. Fine, but only if he sings another song."
"Yay! ^_______^"
Shinji began singing once more.
"Young man! There's no need to feel down! I said young man! Pick yourself off the ground! I said--"
"Oh… Crap." Asuka muttered. She had begun to believe that being in a car with Shinji singing and Rei clapping along and giggling like the deranged schoolgirl that she was, was some sort of newly-devised torture.. She couldn't wait to get to Tokyo-3 and get away from them for a little while. She could probably think up a new poem or two, or perhaps another idea for her fanfiction. Asuka wondered why they were all being asked to visit so suddenly anyway. Misato had never mentioned, but Asuka suspected that the drunken old bat had no clue herself.
"Aww feckitaaaall!" Misato cried. "This bloody car is too slow!"
And with that she slammed her foot down on the gas and accelerated at top speed, taking the three children in her care back to Tokyo-3.


Misato had clumsily dumped her car in the NERV short-term parking facilities. She had told the children that they had a couple of hours to do whatever they wanted before they had to come back. Apparently Gendo wanted to talk to them about something.
Rei was happily skipping along through NERV HQ. She had 'borrowed' one of Ritsuko's ID cards and was gleefully bypassing several heavy security measures as she headed for one of NERV's deepest, darkest secrets.
"Oh this is such a great idea! ^.^" she squealed. "I wonder why I never thought of it before!"


Meanwhile Asuka had left the main building and had found shade from the glaring sun underneath a rather large tree.
She sighed listlessly and opened the small notebook that she always carried in case she had any ideas for poetry or fanfiction.
"Why do I always have to be a mortal stuck with the burden of being life's bad bitch?" she grumbled out loud. She sat for a minute or two, then wrote it down.
Whilst Asuka was working hard on creating yet another literary masterpiece, Rei was penetrating deeper still into the heart of NERV HQ. She had managed to get as far as Ritsuko's ID would take her, and was faced with a door that only one person could open: Gendo Ikari.
She grinned widely at the massive reinforced gate. She could feel what was beyond it. She just had to reach…
The door buckled and tore from its hinges as the AT Field twisted itself into the thick metal. Dust billowed up and obscured Rei's view and the huge door thundered to the ground. Rei ran a hand through her sapphire hair and looked around carefully. No alarms. Apparently her AT Field had gone undetected. Obviously now that NERV believed all of the Angels to be defeated they had stepped down their usually heavy security measures.
"Yay! ^______^" Rei squealed, and hopped over the fallen door and into this most secret of chambers. The relatively small door led into a vast lightless hall with a glowing computer interface mounted on a platform barely visible in the centre of it. Everything was shrouded in darkness, but Rei could feel exactly what was all around her.
She skipped merrily across the floor to the computer panel and tapped at the keys. The moment she had been waiting for had almost arrived. She almost let out a squeak of joy as she finally managed to activate the lights, illuminating the room with a soft orange glow. She turned to look at what had been revealed.
Thousands of blue-haired duplicates floated in immense tanks of LCL. Countless exact copies of Rei floated in front of her, limp and lifeless in the vats of fluid. Their faces were contorted into a faint, blank smile, their eyes wide and empty of life. Her own eyes were drawn to her clones' luscious breasts and smooth, pliant flesh. Ritsuko had believed that she had destroyed all of Rei's clones, but Rei had known Gendo much better than that. Gendo would never let anyone else have control of something he valued so much.
"Yatta! Kakouii! I'm going to have lots of horny sex! ^o^" she yelled.
She turned to the computer once more and commanded it to drain one of the containers.
Within minutes ten Rei clones were lying naked and wet on the ground outside their tank, slowly becoming conscious for the first time. One of them looked painfully up at Rei.
"Hello," Rei said to them authoritatively. "My name is Rei Ayanami! ^_~ But you, my sweet little bitches, will all refer to me as MASTER! ^________________^"


Heero swept Asukianna from her feet into his strong, tender arms, and placed her gently on the bed.
"Oh Heero," she whispered sensuously. "Heero, my love! My life! My soul! Take me now and forevermore!"
"Oh Asukianna!" Said Heero in his powerful, masculine voice. "I loved you from the first day I met you. That sad day, when Relena passed away… You are my world and my one true love! My shining beacon of hope! Let us be as one on this night!"
He bent over Asukianna's slight and beautiful form and kissed her softly on the lips. Asukianna gasped with pleasure and tangled her fingers in Heero's flowing hair.
"I used to feel dead inside. Almost as if my heart was made of the coldest ice." Heero solemnly told her. "But when I met you, it was as if you wielded the flame and melted it down. I… I love you so…"
Heero was crying. Tears of joy streaked down his face. Such beautiful tears. Asukianna held Heero in her arms as her one true love wept with unstoppable joy...

Asuka frowned at her newest effort. It turned out that writing was a lot harder when you didn't have a dictionary and thesaurus program to help out. There were several spelling mistakes and entire paragraphs crossed out in her notebook now. She tried to think of a better word for 'unstoppable'. She couldn't.
Damn! If only she could have access to a computer for a little while. She angrily snatched up her notepad and pencil, and stomped toward the NERV main building. Damn those foolish humans around me! She thought to herself. Why do they always manage to screw up my entire life? How can I bring joy and inspiration to everyone on the Internet if I can't get online? Those mere mortals in NERV HQ had better let me use their computers or I'll… I'll write a poem about them and post it on the Net when I get back home! That'll show them! My prose will be so elegant and touching and beautiful, they'll weep. They'll wish they'd allowed me to grace their foul machines with my presence.
She composed a possible poem in her mind as she strode into the building:

NERV HQ.
YOU MADE ME BLUE.
P.S. YOU REALLY SMELL OF POO.

Of course she would have to refine it somewhat using a word processor. She pondered cheerfully on what wonderful words her little poem would then become.


Misato sat impatiently outside Gendo's office, casually finishing off a bottle of vodka. It was good stuff, not like the cheap shit they sold where she lived now.
"DRINK!" she bellowed, and set off to find some more.


"Giiirl, this paradise is ours, the planet moon and staaars!" Shinji sang as he headed towards the crater that was all that remained of a large part of Tokyo-3. He loved A1; they were his favourite boy band. He had several posters of them in his room at home.
"Believe in me baby! Be the first to…"
He immediately stopped singing as he reached his destination. The edge of the crater where he had met… It was so hard for him to even think that name aloud in his mind any more.
It hadn't changed much since the last time he had been here. It was so desolate. Ruined buildings poked out of the water that flooded the crater at odd angles, giving the entire area an odd, surreal quality.
Memories came flooding back to him. This is where he had first met Kaworu. Oh how Shinji wished things could have turned out different. Their fashion styles complimented each other so perfectly. They had planned to redecorate the apartment together and give each other sensual massages in the fabulous bed they would have bought. Life would have been bliss.
But now, all those plans would forever be unfinished. All because of the stupid Evas! He had vowed never to pilot again. Those stupid robots were the cause of all of Shinji's problems, and he hoped someone would destroy them. Besides, purple wasn't his colour and so definitely would not go with his choice of outfit. What was his father thinking anyway, painting Eva Unit-01 in such a horrid shade?
He looked at the scenery around him again. He could almost hear Kaworu singing that song again, the one he sang just as Shinji saw him for the first time. His eyes filled with tears. Every day, he missed Kaworu. The thought of that song was bringing all those repressed feelings back. He could hear it, clear as day.
In fact, he really could hear it, coming from behind him.
What the…? How could this be? Kaworu was dead! He may have been an Angel, but having his head removed had certainly made sure of that!
Shinji turned around quickly.
"Kaworu?" Shinji gasped breathlessly. "Kaworu is it really…? Hey! You're not Kaworu! Just who are you?"

End of Chapter One.