I wanted to say something.

I wanted to say that I definitely definitely was in love with you.

I was in love with every aspect of you, every idea of you, every version, every side, I loved you.

But I didn't. I swallowed my spit and bit my tongue.

Because you didnt want to hear it, and I knew that. I knew that.

You used the back of your hand to wipe the blood from your lips.

I starred.

In the background there was shouting, you glanced behind you before disappearing in a flash of blue.

My brothers surrounded me, laughing through their broken teeth and bruised ribs.

"What a bunch of sissy's!"

"Haha, they ran away like losers!"

I laughed with them, pretending I felt the same.

At school, I ignore you. Thinking that if I push you away this feeling will go with you. I want this feeling to go away. I hate the butterflies that come with your smile, the weightlessness that comes with your laugh. How do you do this to me? Why do you do this to me?

My lips felt wet. I brushed my fingers to them to find blood. You were fighting harder than usual. I wiped the blood from my face, why do you hate me?

Blossom called to us, robber on Eighth street. On impulse I flew away, to the next danger, the next person that needed help.

At school it's like you cant see me . I feel like glass, our eyes never meet. I don't hate you, I don't understand you.

I heard you playing once. The melody was so sad. What were you singing? What are you feeling?

I want to help you. I want to know you.

I can feel you eyes on me, I don't know what you're looking for. There's nothing here, there's nothing here for you.

You'll marry a beautiful boy or girl who loves you, who can give you what I can't: A future.

There's nothing with me, no pain, no misery... just nothing.

Nothing at all.

Another fight, blood erupts from my throat or somewhere in the pit of my stomach. You keep fighting harder, I can't compete. I would run... but here... here on the battlefield. Here is where you finally, finally will meet my eyes. You can see me here and... I like that. I want to be seen by you.

Hands grab at my throat, I can't breathe. You're crying, why are you crying? Isn't this what you want?

I'm kill you. My fingers just wont loosen. I'm telling them to, I'm begging them to. I'm killing you! I'm going to kill you!

A flash of my brothers' colors distract me, my hands finally let you drop.

You cough and stagger, trying to regain the life to your eyes.

"Don't fight me, Bubbles. I'll kill you. I'll kill you next time."

Your dimmed eyes meet mine, you try to say something but nothing comes. Guess you haven't regained your voice yet. That's good though, probably for the best. Your eyes wont leave mine, it scares me.

What are you searching for?

"There's nothing for you with me."

Somehow it seems the right thing to say, maybe you'll understand. I don't know how you feel or what you think but way you're looking at me... it feels like maybe you... maybe you want..

I don't know, it doesn't matter. At least you know that now.

"Please... let me try," my voice finds itself. You turn your gaze away from me and shake your head. I have so much love and good in me, I know that... I could help you. "Let me help you, Boomer."

You're crying again, "I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you." Then you're gone.

Lmaoooo remember me guys? Wellllll I may or may not be back idk I wrote this a while ago and then I edited it and then i was like shit imma post it lolololololololololololollololololololololololololololololololol