READ FIRST:Well…it's been a looooooooooooong time since I've posted anything here, I came to the point that whatever characters I was writing about had to move me emotionally and inspirationally, and it just so happens that this pairing has done that for me. I really love the bleach manga and anime , though I admit the anime pisses me off sometimes….there's too much censoring!Anyways on to the fic, If you haven't read the recent chapters of bleach, then you might not get what's going on , and beware the SPOILERS! I was intrigued with the GinxRan since the SS arc, It was obvious to me that there was something between them, I was a bit frustrated at how long I had to wait to see the outcome between them….and I'm even more disappointed at how Kubo played their story out, but in my heart I have a glimmer of hope that gin isn't actually dead , and I have my arguments to back that up, and if he is dead , then kubo really did screw up! We haven't even seen half of gin's potential or his abilities….anyways on with the fic!

Disclaimer: Bleach and it`s characters are not mine.

Listening to : Waltz by Craig Armstrong

When he had made his plans, plotting his elaborate revenge at such a tender age, his ultimate goal being to end her suffering and tears, he seemed to have overlooked that his choice would hurt her that much more, making her suffer and cry so much more, possibly breaking her to the point where she would become irreparable. But then again, he hadn`t know her feelings were as intense as his.

After the results of the winter war, most had recovered , most were rebuilding their lives, going back to routine, so was she. Those close to Rangiku however, could not help but notice the irrevocable change in her behavior, a month after her return , she showed herself more committed to work, no more drinking on the job , complete concentration , burying herself in work or shut off from the others in her room.

It was a fact well known among the gotei 13 that the gorgeous tenth division lieautenant and the traitorous former captain of the third division had shared some kind of relationship, they had grown up together, even so…it was never made clear as to whether their relationship was of brother and sister, friends or perhaps something more. No one knew for sure, only the two individuals in question could know, she had heard the rumors too, in by passing… no one actually had the balls to bring the subject directly up with her. But alas…Rangiku felt like she knew least of all. But most thought this was a good enough explanation for her standoffish behavior as of late.

Obviously she was mourning. Before the defeat of Aizen and the end of all the chaos , Rangiku had not had the chance to heal completely from aillon's attack (which basically tore off a piece of her abdomen) and the situation she was confronted with afterwards was so lurid that she only remembered feeling so desperate and oh so terrified ….for his life , crying and holding on so hard to him as if that would prevent his soul from shattering. She didn't remember much after that, she had blacked out, she had still been bleeding after all, Kira had not had the chance to fully heal her, she ended up exerting herself too much, both emotionally and physically ,made even worse by the kind of injury she was carrying.

When she came to, she was in the fourth division barracks, being tended to, she was told that she had been asleep for 3 days since the battle , she was recovering nicely thanks to Kira having taken to healing her right away , or else she might have been in a murkier situation at the present moment, like Hinamori, who would have to go through intensive care and treatments in order to fully recover. Two days later she was given the o.k. and was sent home. No one had gone to visit her, but she realized that all of the gotei 13 was either injured and in recovery or extremely busy dealing with the aftereffects of the winter war. The events hadn`t really caught up with her until she arrived at the 10th's barracks and entered her private quarters , first taking a hot bath and then changing into purple bath robe she had previously bought in the real world and then plopping down on her futon , therefore simply spacing out and in her head going through everything that had happened. Recalling all he said and how all he had done was supposedly in her benefit, all for her. Before long, her mind wandered so far that she barely heard the knock at her door.

"MATSUMOTO? ARE YOU THERE?"

She abruptly jumped up from her comfortable position on the futon ,feeling a familiar chilling reiatsu ,she reluctantly slid the door to be greeted by sight of her small captain. He had that usual grumpy look plastered on his face, but when she looked deeper she could make out a small glint of concern in his eyes. She knew him that well.

"Matsumoto….I just received word you were released from the 4th, are you better?" He spoke in a tranquil tone.

She smiled at his worry and realized how clearly , both of them were not well, for different reasons…He looked spent , when she woke up, one of the first things she wondered was about her taicho's whereabouts, she had been informed that he was training in some remote cave in seireitei, and now Rangiku could see the effects of that on his tired complexion.

"ne taicho! I'm great! Never felt better! Don't you worry about me" she tried to force some enthusiasm into her voice .

"baka! I`m not worried! I knew you would pull through, I just came here as your taicho to brief you on the current events"

Her heartbeat quickened a little , but she tried to keep her face nonchalant.

"All our comrades who participated in the battle are well and alive, some of them recovering still…"

"like Hinamori-chan?"

"… yes , but getting to the point, Aizen was recently sentenced…just today, all of his minions are presumed dead, though we were only able to get confirmation or find the remains of some"

"taicho…what happened to gin's …Ichimaru taicho's remains?" She wanted to take the question back as soon as she asked it, noticing the rise of his eyebrows.

"eh? Well , his is one of the bodies we did not find, at the moment he is presumed dead…we haven't had any confirmation…but from what you informed it seemed he could not have survived with the injuries he sustained…"

A glimmer of hope lit up in her for a second, but as soon as he finished his sentence it was out again. He seemed to have noticed, his face softened a little .

"ne, matsumoto , You know I never liked him, especially after what he did to mo-…Hinamori, but I'm conscious that you had something between you, and from what you have told me, at the end he proved to support our cause…using unconventional means to do it …but nevertheless. You should be proud of him, in the end he contributed to Aizen's defeat , and …he saved you. Keep that in mind. "

She knew the next question that had popped up in her head should be kept to herself.

She simply nodded, putting on a serious mask and formally responding

"hai taicho, thank you for taking the trouble of coming all the way over here to inform me, if you don't mind I'd like to rest a bit , gotta get back to work tomorrow…"

"matsumoto, If all you're going to do tomorrow is shun your paperwork and sulk, I would prefer it if you only came in to work when you feel…ready"

"are you giving me a vacation taicho?"

His sympathetic expression instantly molded into a scowl.

"NO, OF COURSE NOT! take it as a health leave….now, I have other business to attend to, You known where to find me If you need anything" saying this, he instantly shunpo'd off and only a faint trace of his reiatsu was left.

By other business, he means visiting hinamori…obviously. She thought.

She slid he door closed and retreated to her futon, she lied down and closed her eyes , inevitably pondering the events in her life involving Gin in her head. It all made sense now. His distancing from her, Why he left her all the time, Why he'd set Kira up against her, to stall her, why he'd apologized. She hadn't realized it, but tears were streaming down her face, she didn't want to recall the last moments she had with him. It was over now, he was gone, that's why she kept the last question she had wanted to ask Hitsugaya-taicho to herself "Does that mean , that there's a chance that he's….still alive?" , out of fear, she simply didn't want to know, she didn't want to accept that he was gone. She wasn't ready to accept this. She didn't have the courage to accept it, even less to chance the subject. She just wanted to disappear, to be alone.

Through all those years together, all the things that happened between them , and the things that happened to them…she hadn't ever felt it so pointedly as now, she loved him , loved him so much, she had always had a thought in the back of head that somehow…eventually they would wind up happily together, because she had the firm belief, that he had been the one for her. He was odd , he didn't fit in with the rest, and she never cared , for some reason she never cared about that , to her he was just the ever smiling boy who saved her on that fated day , the one that made her who she was today.

She just couldn't accept it , the more she thought , the more desperate she became , she didn't want to have a break-down, her heart had been cracking ever so slowly before...ever since he left to hueco mundo…but now she could feel a wrenching pain in her chest , it hurt so bad , her heart was breaking , tearing up. She did the only thing she could at that moment, to keep her sanity, she pulled out the huge bottle of sake she hid under her bed and took a long and swift swig of the liquor, and then another, and then another.

Before she knew it , everything looked hazy , slower and she could barely keep a straight line of thought. She could hold her liquor if she wanted, but at that moment she purposely overdid it, she needed the escape.

"that's better" she said to herself.

Her eyelids were so heavy now, all she wanted to do was sleep and turn herself off from the world. And so she did, but even in her dreams she was forced to walk down memory lane.

End~ chapter 1

Listening to : Dareka no negai ga kanau koro by Utada HIkaru

O k , Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I need it! So PLEASE REVIEW!

By the likes of it we'll be having a couple flashback chapters coming up, and then we'll get moving along with a more concrete plotline. On another note, regarding bleach , the only next update comes out in about 2 weeks , I got a feeling we won't be hearing about Matsumoto or Gin for that matter for quite a few chapters. Therefore consider the events in this story (excluding flashbacks) to happen from about chapter 423(farewell swords).

Kisses ya`ll