A.N.- Okay so this is my first Deeks/Kensi story. Not sure if I did this right so please give me some feedback.
Would you like to see more Deeks/Kensi written by me or do I suck at it?
Read and review,
Sarah
Knowing me, knowing you
He knows her.
He knows that she has abandonment issues.
He knows that it's hard for her to trust someone.
He knows that she doesn't let anyone get close enough to break down the walls that she has built around herself to keep all the hurt outside.
He knows that it took her 8 months to trust Sam and a whole year to trust Callen.
He knows that she will make him work hard for her trust.
He knows all that but he can't help but hope.
He hopes that he can help her getting over all those issues.
He hopes that he can gain her trust.
He hopes that she will let him get close enough to let him take down those walls because they also keep all the happiness outside along with the hurt and the sadness.
He hopes that she will eventually trust him as much as she trusts Sam and Callen, knowing that they are like brothers to her and that they also treat her like a little sister.
He hopes that all that hard work that he'll have to be worthy of her trust will be enough because he doesn't know how much longer he can hide his feelings for her…he doesn't know how long will it take for him to explode and confess that she has been the only thing on his mind lately and that his dreams are filled with images of her.
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Marty Deeks considers himself to be a calm and patient person so he waits. He sees her every single day at work but he reasons that that is pretty obvious because she is, after all, his partner.
Every single day he tries to get a little bit closer to her but Kensi is still a big mystery to him, one that he finds hard to solve. Well, he had always enjoyed a good challenge so he was pretty sure that he was up to the difficult task.
Marty is a good observer and a good listener so he starts to slowly understand her and learns a few things about her but it's not enough. He knows that Callen and Sam know a whole lot more. He knows that because he sees the looks that the two men share whenever they see that something's wrong with her. They know how to deal with his partner better than he did but they had known her for over 5 years and he had only met her a year before.
He can count with the fingers of one hand the big things he knows about Kensi.
He knows that her father taught her how to survive in pretty much every situation. He knows that she has a huge thing for cars. He knows that she's strong and hard to crack.
However, he would need more than one hand to count all the little things that he has learnt about her.
He knows that she bites her lip whenever she tries not to laugh at a joke that she finds stupid and funny at the same time. He knows that she curls a piece of hair around her finger when she is thinking about something that happened to her. He knows that she tends to smile through her sadness to give the impression that she's still strong. He knows that she hates to ask for help. He knows that she hates to appear weak in front of anyone, though he is sure that she allows Callen to see that vulnerability. He knows that she has never trusted anyone as much as she trusts G but he's strangely okay with that thought. He knows that she likes to drink a coffee every single morning except when she's PMSing.
Yes, he knows a lot of things about her but he knows that that is not nearly enough to understand her so he tries harder every day. He wants her to trust him. He wants her to know that he is someone that she can always rely on.
Every day he waits.
Every day he tries to get a little bit closer to her heart.
Every day he tries to find out a bit more about that riddle that is her.
Every day he hopes that maybe, just maybe, she will gave him some sort of sign to let him know that he can keep trying.
Every day he hopes that she will see what is right in front of her.
Every day he hopes that she will understand that he would never intentionally hurt her.
Every day he hopes that she will put her agent skills to god use and will notice that that glint in his eyes whenever she looks at her is a whole lot more than just mischief.
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It happens the first time while they are working on a case.
They finish going through the victim's house and she says that she wants ice cream because it's too hot outside. He nods and agrees with her because he knows that he would say yes anyway even if he hated ice cream.
They sit on the ice cream shop and between small talk and laughter she ends up confessing him that she enjoys working with him but he sees right through her and sees what's hidden behind her mask.
It's a plea. She wants him to stay. She doesn't want him to leave. She doesn't say the words, that is forbidden territory for both of them but he sees the hidden meaning behind her simple sentence.
That's when he first learns that she's staring to trust him.
That's when he first finds out that she is letting him get close enough. It's still not close enough that he can break down her walls but it's close enough for him to actually see the wall and he knows that in that short time that's more than what he has the right to ask for.
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The second time that it happens, he almost misses it.
There were tears running down her face and he knows that she is allowing him to see her in one of her weakest moments. He knows that she will ask him to forget what he saw later on but for now he makes the most out of it.
He doesn't know why she's crying and he has the feeling that asking the reason why will only make it worst. He doesn't want to see more tears running down her beautiful face, doesn't want to see her beautiful eyes red from all the crying.
Marty knows that chances are that she will push him away and he knows that if that happens he will turn around and call either Sam or Callen because he doesn't want to upset her further.
They are downstairs and it would be easy for him to turn around and get one of the guys who actually gets her instead of trying to understand her but he is not used to take the easy way out and he knows that this is an opportunity to let her see just how much he cares.
He gets closer to the place where she is sitting on the floor of the office that he knows that belongs to Nate. He knows that she is here because it is the last place where anyone would look for her. He knows that because he has used it as hiding place several times before and no one had ever noticed.
She doesn't look up. Her gaze is directed towards the floor and she doesn't look at him, not even when he closes the door behind him. He sits next to her, so close that their shoulders are touching and she still doesn't meet his eyes. She knows that he is there, he's aware of that.
He touches her arm. It's just a light touch but it seems to be enough for her because she rests her head on his shoulder right after that. He doesn't move, afraid that the wrong movement will scare her away but he can still see her tears running down her face so he holds her hand and he's pleasantly surprised when she doesn't pull back.
She is starting to trust him and he is happy to know that.
He knows that it won't be an easy journey but he also knows that she would eventually let him in.
He hopes that she will, at least. He hopes that because he has no idea of what he will ever do without her by his side.
He's already used to their morning coffees, to their breakfasts together, to their midnight runs, to their unique way to talk.
He's already used to that and he knows that he doesn't want to throw it away.
He knows that he wants more. There's not a doubt in his mind when it comes to that.
Kensi Blye is a mystery, but she is his personal riddle and he would solve it.
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If you like this one, I will do another chapter about Kensi's view on the all thing.
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