One day, Sasuke woke up to find that he was a girl.
Naturally, he was both shocked and appalled, in that order. Obviously someone was using some sort of crazy genjutsu on him to get revenge for him for…being better than them. Of course, that had to be it.
He carefully got out of bed and immediately tried to dispel the jutsu. After a moment, he opened his eyes to check if it worked…It didn't look like it had. It must be a very powerful jutsu. Maybe it wasn't just a lowly genin who had cast the illusion, but who else would do such a thing, really?
Sasuke pondered his dilemma for a moment, then decided he wouldn't let it bother him. After all, it was just a genjutsu, no one would know he thought he looked like a girl except for him and whoever had used the genjutsu, and when whoever that person was saw him going about his business as normal and not letting it bother him, they would only end up getting annoyed that their rather stupid plot had failed.
Sasuke nodded to himself, satisfied that that would be the best course of action. After all, it was his idea and all.
So Sasuke went on about his normal business. The first act of which happened to be changing.
…This caused unforeseen problems. Regardless of it being a jutsu or not, he didn't really want to see…you know…especially on himself.
It's alright, he told himself, I'll just keep my eyes closed.
So he did. And ended up putting his clothes on backwards, which he had to fix while closing his eyes again.
When he felt he was presentable, he went downstairs to have his Ninja Pebbles, the best cereal in the world before going on with his day, doing Sasuke things.
While he was doing that the phone rang, so he went to pick it up.
"Hello," he answered.
"Yo, Sasuke," came Kakashi's voice on the other end. Sasuke waited for him to say whatever he was going to say. That's why he called right? Kakashi didn't say anything for a moment. "So how are you, Sasuke?"
Sasuke was about to say "Fine" like normal, but then he remembered that he wasn't fine, and had some weird, ridiculous genjutsu cast on him that made him look like a girl. But then again, he didn't need to tell Kakashi that, did he? "I'm fine," he decided on at last.
Again, Kakashi took a moment to say anything again. Sasuke was getting slightly irritated, because his Ninja Pebbles were going to get soggy at this rate, and then Kakashi would have to pay. "Are you sure?" Kakashi asked.
"Of course!" Sasuke snapped.
Another annoyingly long pause. "You sound…different."
"What do you mean?" Sasuke demanded, and as he did so realized that yes, he did sound different. Specifically, his voice was several pitches higher than it should've been. Wait, if Kakashi could hear that, it must be a really good genjutsu…
"Well, um, frankly…you sound like a girl."
Sasuke didn't know how to respond to that, so he just kinda stood there with his mouth hanging open for a minute.
"Is there something wrong? Are you sick?"
Oh my god… was all that Sasuke was able to think at the moment. He felt kinda faint too. Maybe he was sick.
"Sasuke…?"
Sasuke sat down, a million thoughts going through his mind, but way too fast for him to process them. Finally he got annoyed and randomly grabbed one.
"I'm fine!" he said a little way too loud in his panic, "I'm just, not…feeling too well! I think I'll stay home today! You can train Naruto and Sakura without me!" He stood up, ready to hang up immediately.
Now if he wasn't sure before, Kakashi knew something was wrong. "Maybe I should come over and check on you…"
"No!" Sasuke shrieked, and he really did, considering he was a girl and all. This happened to startle him, but he got over it. "I mean, uhm…No, I'll be fine, I know how to take care of myself, I don't need you babying me!" With that, he slammed the phone on the hook.
He stood there in that position for a while, still panicking. He tried to talk sense into himself though. It was only a genjutsu! Right!? People don't just randomly change sex overnight! Besides! Maybe it was just a side effect of the genjutsu that was making him change his voice on his own! That had to be it!
Since he had finally found a loophole, he stood straight up, took some deep breaths, and tried to speak in his normal voice.
"My name is Uchiha…Sasu…ke…" He shook his head. He had to try harder! "My name is! Uchiha!…SASUKE!!!" he tried bellowing the last part, but it just sounded silly with his current voice. He clutched his head in disbelief. He really needed to work on his genjutsu!
With that, he repeatedly began dispelling the genjutsu, but it just didn't seem to be working…Eventually, he heard a knock on the door.
Sasuke froze. That wasn't good. He couldn't let anyone see him like this!!
"Sasuke, before you go hide in your room, it's just me, Kakashi," came Kakashi's voice from the other side of the door.
Sasuke wanted to yell a variety of things, like, "Maybe you're just disguising your voice to sound like Kakashi!" or "I told you to leave me alone, you idiot!!" and other rather unpleasant things, but he was afraid of speaking at all because then whoever was outside would be able to hear his voice.
"And I know you're not answering because you don't want me to hear your voice, right?" continued Kakashi, looking underneath the underneath.
Damn, it is Kakashi, Sasuke concluded. Not that anything but the name in that sentence would've changed had it actually been anyone else.
"I think you should let me in so we can work this out and try to fix it okay?"
Sasuke wasn't about to have that, as much as he wanted this to be fixed, he couldn't accept help from anyone, that would just be the same as saying that he was weak!
"And…" Kakashi continued, his voice going into its 'jolly' tone that he uses whenever he's about to say something he knows his students aren't going to like but he will because he likes watching them squirm, "if you don't let me in, I'll just use Lockpick no Jutsu and let myself in!"
"Dammit…" Sasuke grumbled. Why a jounin, of all people?
He went and opened the door, giving Kakashi the most sour, unhappy glare he could muster, which was really pretty sour and unhappy.
Kakashi, who normally would've responded with some jolly comment designed to make Sasuke miserable for a few seconds, found himself at a lost. Sasuke…didn't look like he could get any more miserable at the moment…and he was girl.
Sasuke knew Kakashi was staring, and even though his ninja senses told him no one else was around, he felt particularly paranoid that morning and dragged Kakashi inside. "Just get in here already, and stop staring!"
"Oh, right," was all Kakashi said as he was pulled in and Sasuke slammed the door shut behind him.
Despite only a few seconds ago agreeing not to, Kakashi continued to examine Sasuke and his new…figure.
"I told you to stop that," he growled irritably.
"Ah- er, right," Kakashi remembered, putting his hand behind his head, "Um, now, why don't you begin with…explaining…how this came about."
It didn't seem possible, but Sasuke's eyes only got narrower. "I don't know," he said coldly, "I woke up this way."
"Oh?" Kakashi blinked.
"I think someone cast a really powerful genjutsu on me," Sasuke concluded.
"Hmmm…" Kakashi closed his eyes and put his hands together in a seal, then touched Sasuke's shoulder. "Dispel!"
They both waited a moment…and nothing happened.
"It didn't work," Sasuke pointed out flatly.
"So it didn't," Kakashi agreed.
"I thought you're supposed to be a jounin."
Now Kakashi was slightly offended, but decided not to care. "I don't think it's genjutsu," he said instead.
"Well what else could it be!? It's not like I really got turned into a girl!!"
"Well…"
This was too much for Sasuke. He couldn't handle Kakashi's lackadaisical attitude today. Not in this situation. He couldn't handle the stress.
Sasuke grabbed his teacher's collar and pulled him down to eye-level. "Just tell me how to fix this!! I'll do anything!"
"…Anything?" Kakashi seemed surprised, but Sasuke flipping out in such a way may well have been a good reason to seem surprised. Maybe.
"Er…almost anything," Sasuke admitted, then remembered he was in a dire situation again, "So do something!"
"Let go of me first," Kakashi suggested, and Sasuke did so, feeling a little sheepish. Kakashi put his finger on his chin and looked at the ceiling, clearly thinking about how to remedy this unfortunate situation. He made a lot of "hmming" and "humming" noises, so he was obviously thinking very hard. Eventually, he shrugged and smiled at Sasuke. "I have no idea. You'll probably have to figure it out yourself."
Sasuke was ready to Chidori Kakashi into next week right then and there, but then Kakashi continued talking.
"Who knows, it could be a good experience for you. And you won't have the girls chasing you around anymore."
The Sharingan in his eyes and his tight grip on his arm faded as Sasuke went over that last sentence again in his head.
Not have the girls chasing me around anymore…? That…that would actually be a good thing!
Kakashi noticed Sasuke's spaced out look, not to mention he was still in Chidori pose but not actually doing anything. He'd said that last bit as a joke, but it looked like Sasuke was taking him seriously. He had to say something else to make him remember that this was a dire situation.
"Of course, you'll still be a girl, and probably not as powerful as if you were still a boy, and your peers will make fun of you for your sudden sex change…" He trailed off. Sasuke wasn't listening. Instead it looked like he was getting ready to go out. "…What are you doing?"
"Going shopping," Sasuke answered quickly, "If I'm going to be a girl I should probably dress appropriately."
"But-"
Sasuke was already gone. Kakashi stood in the entrance of his house feeling stupefied. Was it just him, or had his most prized student just gone and made a life-changing decision based entirely off of one little sentence Kakashi had said as a joke!?
The more he thought about it, the more it seemed that way. Kakashi sighed and slapped his own forehead. He could only hope that whatever jutsu had been used on him would wear off, and quickly.
* * *
Meanwhile, Sasuke went to the um…Ninja Clothing Factory Unlimited to buy herself some new clothes. She couldn't wear the same clothes she always wore, because then she'd look too much like a boy and that would be weird, considering she was a girl. And yes, it's about time we changed which gender-specific pronoun we use when referring to Sasuke, especially since it looks like she plans on staying this way for a while!
Sasuke shopped around for a reasonable amount of time, gaining on the long side, at least for her. She couldn't find any nice looking shirts for girls with really high collars the way she liked, so she didn't buy any shirts. Because she didn't buy any shirts she couldn't buy any shorts because…you know, the ones she had already matched and everything. She did pick up a cute little yellow sunflower…thing. Not a dress though, because girl or not, she wouldn't be caught dead in a dress, but it was still cute. And yellow. That was important. She couldn't wear yellow as a guy, because that would be weird, but as a girl, that would be okay. She folded it up into her little shopping bag and decided to save it for a special occasion. As in, any time she wouldn't be required to be a ninja, which was pretty much all the time, hence the special occasionness.
Anyways! So then Sasuke brought her new outfit home to put away, but was shocked and appalled, in that order, to find none other than Kakashi, sitting at her kitchen table, eating a bowl of her Ninja Pebbles!!
"What do you think you're doing!?" she cried in appallation, not to be confused with Appalachian, which is both a real word and a mountain range.
"Hm? Oh I saw this bowl of Ninja Pebbles here and I said to myself, if I just let these sit here, they'll get all soggy and go to waste, and I know Sasuke wouldn't like that, so I decided to save you the trouble of having to throw them away by eating them myself."
"You…ate my Ninja Pebbles," Sasuke stated, who was obviously having some trouble with things, what with being in shock from being a girl and all…or something like that.
"Ah…yes." Kakashi stood up, "And now I just remembered I have to go meet my students on the bridge…and, er…that would include you…um…Are you really coming looking like that?"
Sasuke glared at him. "Yes. And Sakura's going to stop stalking me now."
"Ah…right…of course…Well, I'll see you there!" And with that, Kakashi was gone.
Sasuke sighed. Meeting at the bridge meant they were going to do ninja things, which meant she couldn't wear her cool (read as cute) new outfit which was yellow! So she hung it up in her closet and vowed to wear it sometime within the week.
Then she left for the bridge.
* * *
Somehow, even though Kakashi had left five minutes before Sasuke from the same place, he was still not at the bridge when Sasuke showed up.
She couldn't say she wasn't nervous, though she wasn't about to admit it if she was. Not that she really cared about their opinions…Well, Sakura maybe mildly. She only hoped to appall her so much that she would never speak to her again. That was the ideal reaction. As for Naruto, she could only hope that he wouldn't yell too much, though she knew that wasn't going to happen…
She approached the bridge slowly, like she usually did…only she was usually a boy, but we've been over that already.
Not surprisingly, Sakura was the first to react. "Sasuke-kun! There you are!" she exclaimed excitedly.
Sasuke only smiled to herself. Wait till she finds out…
Sasuke knew she didn't really look all too different, especially wearing her normal clothes. She was going to have to speak for them to really notice. So she did.
"I think 'chan' may be more appropriate," she said smugly, "though I'd really prefer it if you not use those at all."
Their expressions were priceless. She almost wished she had a camera, except there was no way she'd keep around a picture of Sakura and Naruto…
"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura whispered, "What happened to you?"
Naruto pointed vividly. "Y-y-yeah!! What the hell is going on Sasuke!?"
Sasuke only smiled, feeling good about herself for the first time in a while, and went to her usual waiting spot at the railing. She didn't answer. They didn't deserve an answer. She was just that much better than both of them.
Naruto however, had other ideas. He got right up in Sasuke's face and proceeded to look him all over, while Sasuke glared coldly. Before Sasuke could tell him to stop, Naruto reached a shocking conclusion!
"YOU STOLE MY TECHNIQUE!!!!" he roared, indignancy flaring from his throat.
Sasuke blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"You stole Sexy no Jutsu!!! You can't use that technique! That's MY technique!! I worked for years perfecting that!! It's COPYRIGHT ME!!"
Sasuke just stared. "Why would I steal such a stupid jutsu?"
"You obviously did, so don't act like you didn't!!" Naruto screamed.
"…But I didn't do this," Sasuke said.
"What are you talking about!? Why else would you be a girl right now!?"
"No…when I woke up, I was like this. I think someone else cast some weird jutsu on me." She paused, then narrowed her eyes. "Was it you?"
"How could it be me!!?" Naruto demanded, "And why would I waste my time turning you into a girl when I could just beat you up!?"
Sasuke sighed. That had been a dumb idea. Of course Naruto hadn't done it. Naruto was too stupid to pull of something this effective…
"Well, that's a shame," Sasuke smiled, "When I find the person who did this, I'm going to thank them."
"WHAT!!?!?" exclaimed both Naruto and Sakura at the same time.
Sasuke nodded to herself, having gotten the desired, and expected, reaction. "I think I'd prefer staying as a girl," she explained, "That way I won't have an absurd amount of suitors, and can focus better on my training."
Before anyone could say anything in response, Kakashi showed up. "Good morning!" he said cheerfully, though not quite as honestly as normal.
"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed, "Sasuke turned himself into a girl, and I think he likes it!!!"
All the humor dropped from Kakashi's face. "I realize that. Naruto, Sakura I have a mission for you two."
All three of them looked at him questioningly, though Naruto looked puzzled, Sakura worried, and Sasuke slightly offended.
"Your mission is…" Kakashi paused dramatically, as he tends to do, "…get Sasuke back to normal."
"What!?" Sasuke exclaimed.
"You got it! No problem!" Naruto cheered, pumping the air.
Sakura saluted. "I will perform this mission to the utmost best of my abilities!" she said with absolute seriousness.
I wish she would act like that for other missions… Kakashi thought idly.
"Alright," Kakashi turned to Sasuke, who was glaring at him rather harshly, "Your job is to…get back to normal." He thought for a moment if there was anything else to add. He couldn't think of anything. "Dismissed!" And Kakashi disappeared.
"Alright! I know just what to do!" Naruto announced, "Sexy no Jutsu is my technique, so of course I have the perfect countermeasure to stop it!!"
"How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not using your dumb technique," Sasuke said, even though he had only said that once before.
"And what's the countermeasure?" Sakura asked Naruto, for once in her life completely ignoring Sasuke. For Sasuke, at that moment, life was good.
"Well obviously…we have to…do…you know! THAT!"
"…What?" Sakura asked, not impressed.
"You know," Naruto stressed, "that perfect countermeasure!"
"…I don't think you even have one, do you?" Sakura decided.
"Of course I do!" Naruto argued, feeling insulted, but Sakura tended to make him feel that way whenever she spoke to him, "Every jutsu has to have a countermeasure! Or else if you learned one without it, you'd be invincible!" Now that he had quoted directly from Iruka by the way.
"That doesn't mean you know the countermeasure!" Sakura yelled, punching Naruto straight down on the head.
Sasuke just humphed, done being amused by their antics. "Well, while you two work on a strategy for defeating a jutsu that I'm not even using, I think I'll go and…do…stuff…so there."
"Wait!" Sakura cried in alarm, "You can't just leave! You have to help us get you back to normal!"
Sasuke just tched. "Sakura, answer me truthfully."
"Yes…?"
Sasuke turned and looked her in the eyes, making her both nervous and uncomfortable…instead of nervous and melty like usual. "As I am right now, do you feel any sort of attraction to me?"
"Er…what?"
"Do you still like me when I'm a girl."
"Uh…um…well, I…er…"
It was at this point that Naruto happened to realize something. "Hey! Now that Sasuke's a girl, you'll have to like me Sakura-chan!!"
"Ew! No!" Sakura said, pushing him away.
"But you can't possibly like me," Sasuke pointed out, seeing that this was going in a good direction.
"I…Well, I…But…you…I…"
Sasuke simply turned around and left. She knew Naruto would begin harassing her now, and that was exactly what she needed. For now, she decided to enjoy her first day as a girl…however one goes about doing that.
* * *
Sasuke's initial excitement died down quickly as she realized there wasn't really much she wanted to do as a girl that was any different from what she wanted to do as a boy. That didn't mean it would be easier to go back to being a boy of course! There were so many perks to being a girl that she didn't think she would ever go back to being normal! First and foremost, all of those stupid and annoying girls were finally leaving her alone! Second, most people were finally leaving her alone, meaning she had more time to train and become stronger than ever. Third, it would be so humiliating for Itachi to finally be defeated…by a girl!! It just killed her to think about it, it would be so worth it. So what if everyone thought she was a freak? It's not like she ever cared about their opinions in the first place, what with her being better than all of them anyway.
Speaking of everyone else, they were generally freaked out by Sasuke's…transformation, and were even more surprised by the fact that it was both lasting long, and that he liked it…I mean, she liked it…
Aside from the girls (obviously), the most distraught about all of this had to be Kakashi. Not only was he now the laughingstock of the Jounin/Teacher/Chuunin group, but he couldn't help but feeling somewhat guilty for causing this whole mess.
Somehow, someone had to get Sasuke to change back to being a boy. They had to find a way.
It was time for another four-team meeting.
* * *
"Now, we've all called you here for a reason," Kakashi began as he paced back and forth in front of the four gathered teams minus Sasuke, while the other teachers just kinda stood behind him…snickering. Besides that, it happened to be a very unusual occasion because Kakashi was not only not late, he showed up early! So everyone knew it had to be important. Which it was.
"Sasuke stole my technique!!" Naruto blurted for no obvious reason.
Kakashi glared at him, then extended his glare to Sakura as well. "Naruto! Sakura! Two weeks ago I assigned you the mission of getting Sasuke back to normal! And do you know what happened?!"
"Absolutely nothing…?" Sakura tried meekly, not one to let a teacher's question go unanswered.
"You failed!" Kakashi roared, "Sasuke is still a girl, and he's still liking it!! We absolutely cannot allow that!!"
"I don't know whether to feel absolute abhorrence or just be happy that I no longer have any competition for number one genin right now…" Neji thought to himself. Well, he happened to think that outloud, but that's besides the point.
"I AM STILL YOUR RIVAL!!" Lee announced to Neji who happened to be standing next to him.
"You don't count."
"Hold that thought!" Tenten interrupted, "Why is Sasuke no longer your rival? Just because he's a girl now?"
Neji looked at her stoically. "Well…yes."
Meanwhile, Sakura and Ino had quickly sort of…teamed up.
"We absolutely must under any circumstances get Sasuke back to normal!" Ino declared.
"Hell yeah!!" Sakura cheered.
"I just can't stand looking at him looking all girly anymore!" Ino sobbed.
"At least he's not on your team! I have to see him looking like that every day!"
"Oh but I still have to think about it. Every moment of my life, living, breathing, sleeping, eating, all I can think about is the fact that I can never love Sasuke again!"
"Me too!"
And they began wailing together.
Naruto had noticed this and realized something must be done before everyone conspired to make Sasuke go back to normal. While he didn't really want to ally with him, Naruto knew there was only one guy who he knew would see things the same way he did.
"Hey Lee!"
"Naruto!" Lee saluted, "I am sorry to hear about your teammate! It must be terrible!"
"Nonono, it's great!" Naruto exclaimed, "Now that he's a girl, Sakura doesn't go ga-ga over him all the time and I have a chance to actually get close to her!"
"Oh my!" Lee exclaimed, "That sounds wonderful for you!…But terrible for me…"
"Wait just a second Lee!" Naruto said dramatically while pointing at Lee, "With Sasuke out of the picture, you have a chance too! But neither of us will ever get a chance if Sasuke's a boy! You know what I mean right!?"
"Oh Naruto! That's so true!"
"That's why you have to help me make sure that no one gets Sasuke back to normal!"
"Yes sir!!" Lee saluted spiritedly.
Neji and Tenten stopped their little argument to stare at the two lovestruck male ninjas, then the two lovestruck female ninjas. Then Tenten realized that she belonged in the second group (more or less) so she excused herself and went over to them. Neji just sighed and shook his head. They were all idiots. However, nothing Tenten had said had convinced him that Sasuke was still a threat, so he decided he may as well stick with Lee and Naruto…as much as he hated to join a group like that.
That left all of Team Kurenai and the rest of Team Asuma, who were all pretty indifferent one way or another.
Actually, Hinata was a little worried that if everybody stopped liking Sasuke, they might start liking Naruto, and then she'd never have a chance with him. Poor Hinata.
Kiba, thinking along similar lines, realized that now that Naruto had lost most of his competion for Sakura (and really, did Lee count at all?), then there was no way he'd be interested in Hinata, so all of this was a good thing!
Shino, though he hadn't actually heard Neji's opinion, was somewhat inclined to agree, though on the other hand, he respected Hinata and Kurenai as ninjas and knew better than to judge someone's skill by their sex. However, he didn't really want to have to hit a girl to prove he was the best, even if it was Sasuke…
Chouji and Shikamaru were quite possibly the only two present who really didn't care…at all. Chouji didn't really know Sasuke that well, had no love interests, and knew there was no way he'd be able to beat Sasuke, male or female. Shikamaru…just…didn't care. That would be way too troublesome. Besides, everyone else cared enough to make up for it, right?
"Hold on a second!" Kakashi interrupted after he got over the fact that the students were all kinda ignoring him. Everyone turned to look at him. Kakashi glared at Naruto, Lee, and Neji. "You guys aren't actually thinking of trying to keep Sasuke as a girl are you!?"
"Yes sir, that is exactly what we are doing!!" Lee declared.
"Ah, er, umm…Sasuke makes a better girl anyway!" Naruto said as the first excuse he could think of.
"Ewww! No way!" cringed all the girls except Hinata, who just looked uneasy.
Neji didn't dignify the question with a response.
"Oh Lee!" Gai cried before Kakashi could try to reprimand them anymore, "Why do you stick up for such beliefs!"
"Because-!!!" Lee began, then glanced at Sakura and blushed in the way only Lee can, "Then Sakura might like me!"
Sakura shuddered, but tried to keep it to herself, since she didn't want to offend Lee. She also avoided looking at him.
"Oh the spirit of youth!" Gai now had waterfalls running down his cheeks, "Well Lee if that's what you want to do, then I stand behind you all the way!!"
"Actually, I'm going to have to agree with these guys too," Kurenai said, "There aren't enough girls around and besides, she likes it."
"Sasuke is a he!" Kakashi glared. Then he looked at the two remaining teachers for help. "Asuma, Iruka, you think Sasuke should be a boy, right?"
"It doesn't matter," Asuma said, "Either way, he won't be as good as Shikamaru, since he's a Chuunin and all!"
Kakashi slapped his forehead. He should've been expecting that.
"Um…" Iruka began, "Well, since I also was Sasuke's teacher…I do feel a little weird knowing that he's now a girl when he used to be a boy…However, that didn't happen until Kakashi became his teacher…" When he noticed Kakashi was glaring at him, he hurriedly finished his train of thought. "But still, I can't let a good student of mine go like that! He must remember who he really is!" Or something.
"Exactly!"
That's when Asuma found himself being the unbiased median. He sighed and looked at the group, suddenly thinking that this was all very troublesome, but he didn't know where that thought came from.
"Well, it looks like we have two factions here. Those who want to make Sasuke go back to being a boy, and those who want him to stay as a girl. Normally, I'd say we have one faction try to do what the other faction is trying to accomplish, or pair a member of one side with a member of another and make them work for a random side, but I don't really feel like doing that today, since all we're worrying about is Sasuke and he's certainly not the most important out of you since he's not a Chuunin and Shikamaru is, so I'll just let you divide up however you want. Those who want Sasuke to stay a girl go with Gai and Kurenai, which we'll call the Pink Team and those who want Sasuke to be a boy go with Kakashi and Iruka, which we'll call the Blue Team."
Sakura, Ino and Tenten immediately went to stand with Kakashi and Iruka, while Naruto and Lee went to stand with Gai and Kurenai. After a moment of glaring, so did Neji. Kiba yahooed, said he preferred Sasuke as a wussy little girl, and joined the Pink Team. This made Hinata unbearably troubled. She wanted Sasuke to be a boy, but she didn't want to be on the opposite team of both Naruto and Kiba…Then there was Neji, and if she was on the same group as him, then he would keep being scary at her the whole time, but if she went on the other team, he'd think she was doing that because she was the Main House and he was the Branch house and all sorts of ranting things…And then Shino joined the Blue Team and Hinata became even more flustered, since either way her team wouldn't be all together and that was just so sad!
Currently, the teams were: On the Pink Team were Naruto, Lee, Neji and Kiba. On the Blue Team were Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Shino. All that were left were Hinata, Chouji, and Shikamaru.
"Don't you guys have any opinion?" Asuma asked the two remaining Genin and Chuunin.
Shikamaru was just staring at the clouds, Chouji shrugged and shook his head, while Hinata was trying her hardest to say what she was thinking without actually saying it, so in other words she was just saying "Uh, um, uh," while tapping her fingers together and being incredibly nervous.
"Hold on," Kakashi said, "I think Naruto should be on my team."
Everyone stared at him. "Why?" Asuma asked.
"Because Sexy no Jutsu is his stupid technique, and besides, he's…on my team…so I should be able to call him."
"But then shouldn't everyone just use their normal teams?" Iruka asked.
Everyone, except the genin who were already paired with their teachers, groaned a "Noooo!"
"Iruka doesn't even have a team!" Kurenai pointed out.
"He could use Asuma's."
"Ah-hah! You just want my team because it has Shikamaru on it and he's a Chuunin and better than everyone else!" Asuma accused.
"Well…that and it would be most convenient," Kakashi shrugged.
That means I'd have to be on the same team as Neji… Hinata fretted.
Shino's eyes narrowed. Teacher or not, there was no way he'd support trying to keep Sasuke as a girl.
"But I don't want Sasuke to be a boy!" Naruto complained, "And you just called my technique stupid! It isn't!"
"I…really would rather have Sasuke go back to being a boy…" Tenten noted.
"Mmhm!" the other two girls nodded vigorously. At some point, they realized they only had three girls. "Hey Hinata!" Ino shouted, even though Hinata really wasn't that far away, "You should come on this team! You want Sasuke to be a boy again don't you!?"
Now Hinata was only more torn. There was no way she wasn't going to disappoint someone! "Um, well I…"
"Wait," said Kakashi, interrupting again, "If Hinata's on my team, then I'll have all the girls on my team. If it's going to come down to that, I think I should have Shikamaru."
Hinata fretted even more. She had never agreed to being on either team!
"I want to be on Shikamaru's team," Chouji stated.
"I don't want to be on a team," said Shikamaru.
"Maybe we should just leave the teams as they are," Asuma shrugged, "Putting Shikamaru on one of the teams would only imbalance them, since he's a chuunin and not a genin."
"I still have three girls!" Kakashi insisted, "And Shino."
Shino pushed his glasses up, looking slightly offended.
"Why does Shino want Sasuke to be a boy anyway?" Naruto wondered in his typical Naruto fashion, "He doesn't like him does he?"
Kiba laughed. "Don't be silly! He likes me!"
Everyone stared at him, including Shino, who simply told him that he, in fact, did not like Kiba…except as a teammate…and that's it.
"Geez, I was kidding!" Kiba said in response to all the stares he'd just gotten, "Lighten up!"
"Before we talk about team stuff anymore," Kurenai said, changing the subject away from her student's…oddness, "Remember that we have a member who isn't currently present. Namely, Sasuke." After a moment she added, "That would mean that you wouldn't have all the girls by the way, Kakashi." She smirked, infuriating Kakashi, who was not easily infuriated.
"Oh!! That's a very good point Kurenai!!" shouted Gai.
It was at this point that Neji, Lee, and Naruto all realized that they had voluntarily joined the same group as Sasuke…voluntarily!
However, they still wanted him to stay a girl, so they didn't say anything or switch teams or do anything complicating like that.
Shino, on the other hand, felt proud of himself.
"Well then we need two more members on my team and one on the other," Kakashi sighed.
"Oh, um," Hinata said, but she wasn't sure what she was trying to say, and she said it so quietly no one heard her anyway.
"Well, we should be on the Blue Team then, so we can stay together, right Shikamaru?" Chouji asked.
Shikamaru sighed. "This is all so troublesome…"
"Hm. Very well!" Asuma announced, "Kurenai and Gai's team will consist of Neji, Lee, Hinata, Naruto, Lee, and Sasuke! Kakashi and Iruka's team will consist of Shikamaru, Chouji, Ino, Shino, Tenten, and Shikamaru! Of course, Shikamaru's team will win, because it has Shikamaru in it, and he's a chuunin and not a genin."
"You said Shikamaru twice," Kurenai pointed out.
"I did not! And even if I did, he's a chuunin, so he needs to be named twice!!"
Everyone just sighed.
"Okay, everyone can start plotting. I'm going to go to that restaurant with the grill on the table so you can cook it right there! Have fun!" said Asuma. And he was gone.
"Awww…I want to go eat at the restaurant with the grill on the table…" Chouji sighed miserably.
"Why don't we just go? This is too troublesome anyway," said Shikamaru.
"No! If you don't quit being lazy by the time Sasuke is a boy again then I'll, I'll…do something bad to you!" Ino threatened menacingly.
Shikamaru just sighed.
With the other team…
"Okay, I say first we find Sasuke, so we have the whole team here," Kurenai suggested.
"Good idea!!!" Gai shouted, and because he shouted, Lee also shouted.
No one else really seemed very keen on the idea, but the jounins approved, so they were off!
Back at the other team…
Kakashi watched them go, then turned to his team as they kinda formed a huddle. "Okay so in case you haven't noticed, they have all the strong guys on their team, so we're really going to have to think of a brilliant strategy in order to compensate."
So everyone turned to Shikamaru, who rolled his eyes. "This so not worth all the trouble, but I guess I don't want 'bad things'," he did the little quotey things, "to happen to me, so I'll think…" he sighed.
"There's a good boy," Kakashi smiled.
* * *
Since the Pink Team had both Hyuugas and Kiba on their team, they had absolutely no problem whatsoever tracking down Sasuke, who was sitting on his little hill eating those little cracker sandwiches you make yourself…that come in lunchables.
When two jounin and five genin randomly appeared in front of her, it was needless to say that she was not pleased. At all. Now that she was a girl, people weren't supposed to bother her! But here was a whole big group of them! And she didn't care to see any of them!! And why was she always interrupted during lunch anyways?!
"What do you want?" she asked coldly.
"How dare you steal my jutsu!!" Naruto challenged, for like the fifteenth time. No, it was more than that, Sasuke was sure of it.
"How many times do I have to tell you-" she began.
"Sasuke-chan, we've come to inform you that there's a group of…well everyone who isn't us or Asuma, are plotting to try to change you back into a guy," Kurenai stated in a jounin-like fashion.
"…Don't use chan," Sasuke warned her, then moved on to the other business, "So what else is new? Kakashi has been bugging about that since day one."
"Well yes, but…they have Shikamaru now," Neji pointed out. As much as he hated to admit it, Shikamaru would make things difficult…
Sasuke blinked. "Oh."
"On your own, you'd be defenseless against…whatever they decided to do," Neji continued, "So we're uh…here to…help." The more he talked, the more stupid he realized he sounded. Damn their teachers and all their stupid group activities. Oh wait, yes, an excuse. "And it was their idea," Neji added, nodding towards Gai and Kurenai.
"Actually, it was Kakashi's idea!!" Gai corrected, "But he wants you to be a man again, but Lee doesn't, and Kakashi is my eternal rival! Therefore we shall protect you until death!!"
"…I don't know if that's all necessary…" Sasuke said, "but…I don't want them to try anything so, um…I guess we can go beat them up. Not that I really need your help for that, but then Shikamaru can't do his stupid shadow bind thing again." Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Yes, Shikamaru would have to pay for that…
"But…it's mostly girls on that team," Kiba said.
"So?" Sasuke asked.
"Well…uh…we can't just go around beating up girls!"
"…I don't know about you…" Neji said lowly.
He was glaring at Hinata through the back of his head, and Hinata just knew it so she avoided eye contact…by looking away. And being scared.
"Well, fine, you can take care of the guys, and I'll beat up all the girls!" She paused, "And Shikamaru."
"But you're a-!…er…nevermind," Naruto mumbled, then added something about Sasuke stealing his technique.
"So…that's the plan? Beat them all up?" Kurenai didn't seem too convinced.
"That's a marvelous plan!!!" shouted Gai, doing his weird monocle pose, "That will stop them for sure!!!"
"Ohh that's so right!!" Lee shouted also, tears streaming from his eyes.
Sasuke just smirked. Of course it was a good idea. She'd thought of it after all.
* * *
Shikamaru was in his thinking pose. He'd been there for a long time actually. Of course, he was faced with the dilemma of not only having a difficult problem to solve, but he just really didn't care either.
Everyone else jus kinda stared at him in anticipation. Whatever strategy he came up with, it was going to be good, they just knew it! It was Shikamaru after all.
Finally, he sighed a deep Shikamaru sigh, and looked up at everyone else with a "I really don't feel like doing this…" Shikamaru face.
"Alright, here's the deal," he sighed as he made himself more comfortable, "Basically, we have all of the worst fighters on this team, with the exception of Shino and Chouji, and possibly Tenten. On the other team, we have Sasuke, Neji, Lee and Naruto. They also have Kiba and Hinata, who really aren't that bad. Not to mention the fact that they have two jounin, instead of just one. Not only that, but they have both Hyuugas and Kiba, so sneaking up on them to launch a surprise attack is impossible. Basically, our only hope is get Sasuke back to normal without getting into any sort of combat at all. Are we clear on this?"
Everyone nodded, though Kakashi, Iruka, and Shino felt a little underappreciated at that statement. Not that Iruka was too fond of getting into any sort of combat anyway, it's just that he felt underappreciated.
Shikamaru looked over the somewhat pathetic group. "Judging from everyone's special skills…" He paused at Sakura. "Sakura, do you even have any?"
"I-! Um…No."
Shikamaru sighed. "How troublesome…"
"Ooh, I've got it!" Ino raised her hand excitedly.
Shikamaru just looked blankly at her. "You want to use Shintenshin no Jutsu to make him change back, right?"
"Yes! It's perfect!"
Shikamaru sighed, again. "The problem with that is that you have no idea how to do that. No one, not even the jounin, know what happened to him. We can't undo something when we don't even know what it is."
"It's obviously some stupid prank by Naruto…" Sakura muttered.
"Naruto?"
"Yeah! Him and his stupid Sexy no Jutsu!! Except usually he changes into a naked girl to give guys nosebleeds."
Shikamaru…chose not to think about that too much.
Iruka kinda didn't look at anyone after that.
"Ah, er, well…I don't think Naruto did it," Shikamaru said at last.
"It's still gotta be that technique! What else could it be?" Sakura insisted.
She didn't get an answer, because Shikamaru had gone back into his thinking pose.
So everyone else waited as he continued to think. Eventually, he looked up again, still not into it, but more determined…well not that Shikamaru ever looks determined, and this wasn't any different…but anyways.
"Okay, here's the plan."
* * *
Sasuke was getting annoyed. For some reason, they couldn't find the other group. By the way, somewhere along the line, Sasuke decided to rename the group the Yellow Team, because yellow's better than pink. No one had any objections.
"So where are they?" she asked Neji.
Neji tried to keep from attacking Sasuke then and there. That had been a really dumb question. "Up until a few minutes ago, they were still sitting where we all met. I don't know where they are now yet."
"Can't dog-boy here track them them?"
"That'll take too long," Neji retorted.
"Ha! You wanna bet!?" Kiba shouted, "I can find them a lot faster than you and your Byakugan!"
"Is that a challenge?" Neji glared at Kiba.
"Um…" Hinata tried to get their attention.
"Ha, what if it is?" Kiba grinned.
"Um," Hinata tried again.
"I'll have you know that your pathetic excuse for skills are no match for-"
"SASUKE!!!!" Ino shouted suddenly.
Everyone stopped where they were, which happened to be the middle of some random road thingy. In front of the group stood Ino, Sakura, and Tenten, looking a mix between determined and horribly nervous.
"What?" Sasuke demanded, more annoyed than anything at having to deal with them, despite having said not too long ago that she couldn't wait to beat them all up.
"We've decided that it's okay for you to stay as a girl!" Ino announced, somehow the self-declared spokesperson for the girls, "In fact, we're excited to have a new member of the Girl's Club! So! We're gonna teach you everything you need to know to be a proper female ninja!" She neglected to mention that there wasn't really a "Girl's Club", just that the girls tended to hang out with each other because…they were all girls.
"…I don't want to learn that," Sasuke said. If being a proper female ninja meant learning from them, then she knew didn't want to know.
"Oh come on Sasuke, it'll be fun! We can do all sorts of cool girly things, like going to the mall and talking about boys and having sleepovers!" Sakura giggled. She neglected to mention that "talking about boys" it really meant "talking about Sasuke", but she couldn't exactly say that now could she?
"And um, you can learn special female ninja jutsus!" Tenten added. It was the only thing she could think of really.
"Like French Braid no Jutsu?" Neji asked, sounding terribly evil and vengeful.
"Well um…yeah…" Tenten answered, slightly hesitant.
"Hmph." Neji decided to just look evil then.
"Not interested," Sasuke said, "but if you're not trying to make me a boy again, I guess there's no reason to fight."
"Wait! You mean you don't want to hang out with us!?" Sakura exclaimed.
"No."
"So…you do then!"
"No. You're annoying. All of you…I'm going home." And she left.
"Wait!" both Sakura and Ino cried, but she was already gone.
So everyone kinda stood there for a while. After a while, Team Yellow realized they had better things to do, so they went to do them. Team Pink just kinda stood there.
"Was that supposed to happen?" Tenten asked finally.
"How would I know!?" Sakura growled, "All I know is that Sasuke's still a girl!"
"Let's go back to the group," Ino suggested. Shikamaru's plans usually worked. Maybe this was just part of it…
* * *
"So he called you annoying and went home?" Shikamaru asked, making sure.
"Yes!" all three girls responded in unison.
Shikamaru nodded. "Good. Iruka, Kakashi. You know what to do."
"You can count on me!" Iruka saluted.
Kakashi just nodded, and they both promptly disappeared.
Shikamaru went back to lying down watching the clouds.
"Shikamaru, when do we get to anything?" Chouji asked.
"Trust me, Chouji. You don't want it to have to come to that. Just watch the clouds, okay?"
"Okay, Shikamaru." Shikamaru always knew best after all.
"What about us? Are we done?" Ino demanded.
Shikamaru didn't bother answering her. The clouds were so much more fascinating…
"Shikamaru!! Answer me!" Ino shouted.
Shikamaru sighed. This was so troublesome… "I guess you could help Iruka…"
"Well fine. We will."
So they left.
* * *
Sasuke was busy watching an episode of her third favorite tv show when her doorbell rang. She was annoyed, and it was probably someone else just there to bother her, but it would be just plain rude not to open the door…Actually, who cares about that? She decided not to answer the door.
"Sasuke, don't make me use Lockpick no Jutsu…" came Kakashi's voice.
"Argh! Dammit." Sasuke got up and opened the door. "What do you want?" she asked sourly.
"Yo," Kakashi smiled, "I actually came to pick you up. It's time to put you through some special training."
"Special…training?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Yup. Come on."
Sasuke regretfully turned off her tv. The best part was coming up…but that's okay, she could watch it next time she supposed. Besides, training was more important anyway. "Fine," she said, stuck her hands in her pockets and walked out the door without waiting for Kakashi.
Kakashi just smiled. "Good, now come with me," and jumped away. Sasuke groaned, but followed.
* * *
"Good afternoon fellow teachers!" Iruka saluted Asuma, Gai and Kurenai, who were sitting at a table in the restaurant with the grill on the table.
"Good afternoon Iruka!" they all greeted in response.
"Hey, Kakashi told me he has a great idea for a new competition!" Iruka announced, "So he wants everyone to meet by the Yamanaka flower shop!"
"Oh! Another chance for me to show how much better than Kakashi I am!!" Gai cried.
"Well, you know my team's gonna win because it has Shikamaru in it, and he's a chuunin and not a genin," Asuma said.
"Didn't we just do something with all the kids?" Kurenai asked suspiciously.
"What, with Sasuke? Don't be ridiculous. Nothing came out of that anyway. So come on! I get to be the unbiased median this time!" Iruka grinned his happy Iruka grin and walked out of the restaurant, on his way to the flower shop.
* * *
"Why are we at the flower shop?" Sasuke asked.
"You'll see," was Kakashi's only answer.
Eventually, Iruka arrived, and then all the jounin and their teams. And Naruto and Sakura, since they'd been hanging out with members of the other teams.
"May I ask why we're at the flower shop?" asked Kurenai.
"Indeed! We are at the flower shop because this is the perfect place to start the competition to see who has the best female ninja on their team!" Kakashi announced.
There was a short pause, and a unified "What?" from everyone else.
Kakashi just nodded and put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "I nominate Sasuke."
"Everyone else only has one girl, what's the point of nominating anyone?" Kurenai asked.
"TENTEN!! Do your best!!" Gai shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Hmph. I nominate Shikamaru, since he's a chuunin."
Shikamaru blinked. "Um…I think you missed the point…"
"Don't worry, I'll take care of this," Ino reassured him.
"That's good…" Shikamaru had no intention of…doing…whatever Sasuke had done.
"Waitasec!!" Naruto yelled, "What about Sakura!? I think she's the best girl on our team!"
"I already nominated Sasuke, Naruto," Kakashi replied.
"Naruto, don't be silly. Of couse Sasuke's better than me…" Sakura told him.
"What!!? How can you say that!? I could be a better girl than he is! Actually, all he did was steal my technique anyways!! I'll show you! Henge!"
Suddenly, everyone had a female, yet clothed, Naruto on their hands. He grinned at Sasuke, "See? What'd I tell you? You stole it!"
"…You're annoying," Sasuke said.
Naruto decided to ignore her there. "Kakashi-sensei! I demand to be allowed to enter!! And Sakura too!"
This hadn't been expected… "Naruto…you're not really a girl."
"I am as much as Sasuke is!" he argued.
"It's too troublesome to argue," Shikamaru spoke up, "Just let him do whatever he wants."
"That means Kakashi's entire team is in this competition and the rest of us only have one!" Asuma gasped, "Shikamaru, you have to enter!!"
"No."
Kakashi sighed. "Fine. Naruto, Sakura, you're both also nominated."
"Ha! Take that Sasuke!!" Naruto gloated.
Sasuke ignored him. "Kakashi what happened to the 'special training?'"
"Before you can do that, you must complete this competition, as a test to see what kind of special training you need. To become a better ninja with me…or to learn French Braid no Jutsu with Kurenai." Kakashi smiled. "Of course, both will make you a better ninja, but if you can win the competition, that means you're already skilled at being a female ninja, okay?"
Sasuke stared at Kakashi for a good long while. Finally she hmphed and looked away. "Fine, whatever."
"You never told me about this…" Kurenai began.
"That's okay, now you know," Kakashi replied, then turned to the gathered girls and…girl-like…people. "Hmmm…There's a little too many of you now, so I guess I'll have to split you up into pairs. How about by…shirt color? Let's see. Sasuke and Ino, Sakura and Tenten, and Naruto and Hinata."
Asuma leaned over and whispered to Kurenai, "Why is Kakashi organizing all of this? He usually doesn't care."
"I think he's being a little obsessive because of Sasuke…" she answered.
"Ah, yeah, that."
Kakashi continued. "Today's competition will be…ikebana…flower arranging. I'll hand out these pots," he held up a sample pot, "then please enter the store and select whatever flowers you wish to use in your arrangement. Yamanaka-san has been very generous, so do your best!"
He handed out the pots to the four pairs, and they all went inside to pick their flowers.
Hinata was dying. She was on the same team as Naruto! And it was just the two of them! So he had transformed into a girl, but…she knew it was still Naruto. She had to do her best for him!
Naruto grinned at Hinata, who he could tell was nervous, but had no idea as to the real reason why. "Hinata! Don't worry about a thing! Leave it to me, I'll take care of everything!"
Hinata's eyes widened. "Oh…Naruto…um…O-okay…"
Sakura joined Tenten inside the shop. "You know what we have to do, right?"
"Of course." She eyed out the competition. Naruto and Hinata…nothing there. Sasuke and Ino…? "Let's give it our all."
"Right!"
Before Ino could join Sasuke, Shikamaru gave her some last minute…um…pep talking. That's it, pep talking. She seemed surprised at first, then finally nodded, and skipped over to her partner.
"Before we get started, let me make something clear," Sasuke told her before she had the chance to say anything, "I get the last word on everything. I'm not thrilled about you being my partner, but if you're going to have to be, then I'm in charge."
"Uh…" Normally, Ino wouldn't be one to reprimand Sasuke, but…he wasn't a…he anymore, so it didn't feel quite as suicidal. "Sasuke, I'm sorry but I was the top female ninja in our class, and the topic I was absolutely best at was ikebana. I think you should give me a little more credit."
"Hmph…We'll see about that," was all she said before walking inside.
Inside, Naruto and Hinata were already off to a…wild start. Hinata was holding the pot for Naruto while he dashed back and forth, stuffing all the flashiest flowers inside. Hinata knew he was doing it all wrong, but she couldn't very well tell him that could she? But he'd be said if he lost, so she was trying to get his attention so she could suggest that maybe they were using too many flowers…and they should think it over a little more…and try to make it…you know, pretty.
Sakura and Tenten were actually taking their time, carefully evaluating each flower and its potential to be used in their final product. So needless to say, they didn't really look like they'd gotten much done yet.
Sasuke took this all in quickly then went to find some flowers that sat well with her. She'd also happened to be closer to Kakashi when he was handing out the pots, so she took that with her.
Ino frowned as she watched her meander in what seemed to be a really aimless fashion. You know, she'd never noticed it before, but Sasuke was kind of a jerk…But now wasn't the time to be thinking such…weird thoughts. She had a job to do, and she had to do her best!
* * *
"…No."
"Why not!? I think they'll give it so much character!"
"…No."
"Oh come on Sasuke…Please? I know what I'm doing! I always got the highest score in ikebana back in the academy!"
"NO. I refuse to put those…things, in my arrangement."
"Sasuke, the arrangement needs this. You don't understand!"
"You said the same thing about those ugly red flowers, and those stupid little bud thingies. I let those go, but this is too much."
While Sasuke stood there holding a little…creative assortment of flowers and buds, Ino stood next to her holding a bunch of dried up twigs.
"Would I ever steer you wrong…?" Ino gave her little puppy dog eyes, though it was a lot more difficult than usual.
"…Yes."
"Come on! I want to win this as much as you do!"
"No! And that's final!" Sasuke turned away, bringing the pot protectively away from Ino. "I'm also getting rid of these other weird things you insisted on. I'm doing this my way, and that's that."
"But Sasuke…!"
Sasuke didn't listen. Instead, she quickly plucked out all of Ino's additions to her arrangement and dropped them on the floor, then walked away. After getting over her astonishment, Ino gathered them all up and held onto them while glaring at Sasuke's back.
After a little while longer, Kakashi entered and informed them that time was up and they should bring their creations outside to be judged, since the shop was already pretty crowded and everything.
Naruto brought out his and Hinata's…thing. Sasuke brought out her cute little arrangement, and Tenten brought out what she and Sakura had been working on the entire time. Ino was still holding onto the 'waste' that Sasuke had discarded.
"Iruka, would you do the honors?" Kakashi asked.
"Certainly!" Iruka said.
He went first to Naruto and Hinata. Their arrangement was…a mess. It was, quite literally, a pot full of as many flowers as it could possibly hold, and then some, without any sort of rhyme or reason.
"Well!? What do you think!?" Naruto demanded, "It's the best one isn't it!?"
"Um…It's certainly…something," Iruka admitted.
Naruto nudged Hinata. "See that? He's speechless!"
"Ah, um…" was all she could say in reply.
Sasuke smirked to herself. Of course that Naruto had completely and totally screwed up. That was only to be expected. Then Sakura and Tenten wouldn't be much competition, since they had Sakura and all, so she was guaranteed to win!
What she didn't notice was that while she was busy smirking, Ino had stuck all her random junk into the side of the arrangement in one big chunk.
Iruka moved on to them next. "And what have we here? It looks like…um…"
That's when Sasuke noticed. "Ahh!! What did you do!?"
Ino winced. "Sasuke…we're a team right? I wanted to help make it better!"
"It was fine before!!"
"It's very unique," Iruka assured them, hoping to avoid a catfight, "Let's see how you two did, Sakura, Tenten."
"Take a good look Iruka-sensei!" Sakura beamed as Tenten held it up for him to see.
Their arrangement followed every guideline and the flowers they'd chosen complimented each other perfectly. It was really rather beautiful.
"Oh my! This is marvelous. You two are the winners!"
They both jumped in joy and gave each other high fives and then began congratulating each other on all their nifty ideas.
Sasuke tore out Ino's additions. "Wait! Iruka, look at mine again!! It's so much better than theirs!!"
Iruka turned around. "I already decided on the winners, Sasuke."
"But mine's better! Ino's the one who ruined it at the last second!!"
Iruka glanced at her pot again. She was right in a way. It was pretty good…
"Well, I'm sorry, but you were supposed to do this as a team, so I have to judge you as a team."
That's when the pot cracked. Sasuke was gripping it that hard. Finally she threw it away and turned on Ino. "You! This is all your fault! You ruined it, on purpose!"
"Uh, now Sasuke, let's not get hasty…" Ino tried. She knew she was in trouble.
"Fight me now!!"
"Sasuke!" Kakashi grabbed her arm before she could launch an attack, "Save that energy for training. We have to move on to the next competition now!"
"What?" She was just really really annoyed now.
Kakashi nodded. "This one's on an individual basis, so you really get to strut your stuff. Make sure you do your best!"
Sasuke glowered for a while, but finally sighed and gave in. "What's the next competition?"
"A beauty contest."
Everyone stared at him. Sasuke looked slightly horrified. So did a lot of the other people present. Except for Shikamaru, who had fallen asleep during the flower arranging thing.
"But I just cut my hair!!" Ino cried.
"Me too…" Sakura noted.
"Hmph." Sasuke knew her hairstyle was the best the world had ever seen. She wasn't worried about that. It was just…A beauty contest? That kinda came out of nowhere didn't it…? Eheheh…
"You have an hour to get ready, and then meet back at the three post training area. Remember, you must not only look beautiful, but remain respectable as ninjas! Go!"
Sakura, Ino and Tenten were off in a flash. Hinata wished Naruto good luck before leaving just as quickly. Naruto changed back into himself.
"I don't need an hour to get ready!" he declared, "I can change my clothes into whatever I want! So I'm gonna go get some ramen, see ya!"
After he was gone, everyone looked expectantly at Sasuke.
"Sasuke…you're not gonna…need any help, right?" Kakashi asked warily.
Sasuke scoffed. "Of course not. I can do this. Just you wait." And then she was gone too.
There was silence for a moment. "Kakashi are you sure about this? It might be going too far…"
Kakashi looked pained. "He agreed to it…I hope that's just because he's really competitive…especially since Naruto also agreed to it…"
Kurenai snickered. "At least the sexes are balanced out now. Six and six."
Kakashi glared at her. "Just…just shut up."
* * *
Sasuke was staring at the mirror. She…was having trouble deciding what to think. She was wearing that same cute yellow outfit thingy she'd bought way earlier in this story, but she'd never had a chance to wear it before. She was starting to think that maybe she should've tried it on before she actually bought it…then at least…she would've been able to decide what she thought about the way she looked in it already. Right?
Well, it doesn't look bad…Does it look any good though?
She couldn't help but feel that there was something missing…and without those super high collars she loved, that stupid curse seal thing was very visible. Hmm…
She quickly changed back to her ninja clothes, ran to the store, then ran back and changed into her non-ninja clothes, complete with a matching yellow scarf. She thought it looked a little better now. Yeah that might be presentable…
Satisfied, she began walking to the training site. She couldn't run, since she wasn't really wearing appropriate ninja gear.
* * *
At the training site, everyone was gathered, waiting for the girls to show up. Naruto was already there and still looked absolutely normal. Hinata showed up a little while later, wearing white and lacy blouse with pale blue flower pattern and dark slacks. She looked very nice. She was also very unnerved at being the first one to show up (besides Naruto, who admittedly doesn't really count) and everyone stared at her. Some threw out compliments, particularly Kiba, who was a little too animated with his compliments. In any case, Hinata turned beet red and decided to go stand by one of the posts.
Sasuke came next. In all her happy yellow glory. Unlike Hinata, she got no comments…at all. Maybe they were just surprised. Maybe they were really surprised. Maybe they just had no idea what to say. Maybe just the fact that Sasuke was standing there looking feminine and cute was a little freaky. In any case, no one said anything.
Sasuke decided not to let that bother her. She was pretty sure she looked good after all. Granted, only Naruto and Hinata had shown up so far, but she was sure she could compare to them. Besides, she's still Sasuke and therefore better than everyone else.
After a much longer wait, the last three girls showed up all at once. They were wearing all varieties of frilliness, with the possible exception of Tenten, who actually still had some practicality in her choice of apparel.
Kakashi sighed. "Sakura…"
"Yes sensei?"
"…You're late."
Sakura blinked. The pure absurdity of that exchange left her absolutely speechless.
"Is everyone ready?" Iruka asked.
"Yes sir!" half of the contestants shouted. The ones who didn't were Hinata, who just said it really meekly, Sasuke, who was too cool for that, and Sakura, who was still stunned.
"Good! Okay, today we'll do things a little differently! Your judges will be your peers! And your teachers. And whoever gets eliminated. So anyways, you're going to be judged by everybody so make sure you do your best!!" He let them think about that for a few seconds, then continued. "Would the six contestants please…stand over there in the grass since we don't have a stage?" They all did so. "Now um…we thought about making this a secret ballot, but that would be too nice, but then we realized that having everyone say their votes would take too long, so you guys get to fill out ballots!" He handed all the guys and jounin a ballot. "Since I'll be counting the votes, I won't be voting. When you're done, give it to me."
"Wait! You guys haven't seen my coolness yet!!" Naruto interrupted. Before anyone could stop him, he formed the hand seals and shouted "SEXY NO JUTSU!"
When the guys recovered from various degrees of nosebleed, Iruka ran up to him and his head grew to five times its normal size. "YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED!!!!"
Naruto changed back to normal and looked pouty. "That's not fair…" He couldn't really come up with any better argument though, so he walked over to the rest of the guys and sat down with them. Iruka roughly handed him a ballot and Naruto stuck out his tongue, but filled it out anyway.
Shikamaru finished first, but didn't feel like getting up to give it to Iruka. After everyone else turned in theirs, Iruka finally came over and got Shikamaru's. He tallied them up quickly using his leet ninja teacher skills and announced the winners.
"In last, with 51 points, is Sasuke."
Sasuke frowned. Several unnamed but easily guessable people in the audience cheered silently to themselves.
"In fourth, with 53 points is Ino."
"What!?" Ino cried.
"Just reading the numbers Ino. Third, with 55 points is Sakura."
"I'm third?" Sakura blinked, "Hey! I beat Ino! Ha! Take that, you pig!"
"What did you call me!?" Ino demanded, even though it was the same thing Sakura always called her.
Neither of them noticed Sasuke glaring at both of them.
Iruka went on. "And in first, with 64 points, is Hinata, followed by Tenten with 62 points! Good job girls!"
Tenten cheered for herself, then because she's a good sport congratulated Hinata, then went back to cheering for herself, then had to dodge Gai and Lee who both wanted to give her hugs.
Hinata just stood there in shock. She'd never in her life expected to win…This was the first time she'd won anything on her own before!
"Great job Hinata! Yahoo!!" Kiba shouted.
"Um, um…thank you…" Hinata said meekly.
"I suppose that makes me teacher of the day then, yes?" Kurenai asked.
"No!! Tenten did well in both competitions! The teacher of the day is me! And the student of the day is Tenten!!" Gai declared.
"I'd like to note that Sakura did well in both…" Kakashi said.
"But you also had Sasuke and Naruto, who did horribly…" Iruka pointed out.
"Ah…Well…um…"
Sasuke scoffed to herself. This was ridiculous! It was obvious that both of those contests were rigged. And to think they had wasted her precious time with them. She decided to leave.
"If Ino hadn't been paired with Sasuke for ikebana, she would've won for sure," Asuma told Kakashi.
"Oh?" was all Kakashi responded with.
"Uh, Asuma-sensei! It's alright, it's not Sasuke's fault!" Ino hastily said before Sasuke could get any madder at her. She glanced at Sasuke to make sure she'd heard her…but Sasuke wasn't there anymore! Gasp! "Um…Sasuke?"
"Hm? Sasuke left?" Kakashi noted.
"Who cares about that baka!?" said Naruto.
Not in response to Naruto, Shikamaru stood up. "Actually that's not a bad idea. I'm leaving too." And he did.
Kiba turned to Hinata. "Why don't we go to that place with the grill on the table to celebrate your victory?!"
"Um…okay, Kiba, that sounds nice."
"Yahoo! You should come too Shino! Let's go!!"
"…" Shino said.
And they all left.
"Lee! Tenten! Neji! Let us go too!" Gai shouted.
"Yes sir!" shouted Lee.
"Um, okay," shrugged Tenten. She didn't mind that idea.
"…" said Neji.
They all left too.
"I'm gonna go find Shikamaru," said Chouji, and he left.
Ino turned to Sakura. "I'd say let's go spy on Sasuke, but…"
"Yeah…"
"Well, while we're all dressed up, why don't we go somewhere we can show off? To people who'll actually appreciate our good taste."
"Yeah!"
"I appreciate you Sakura!!" Naruto yelled.
"Shut up Naruto!!"
Then they left.
"Aww…" Naruto sighed. However he was now left with nothing to do. "Hey! Kakashi-sensei! Since everyone else left, why don't we do some training!?"
Kakashi did his thoughtful pose. "Hmmm…Ne, Kurenai, weren't you supposed to help Sasuke with that after this was all over?"
"What?" She thought back. "I guess you did mention something like that…but why should I listen to you? My student won the beauty contest."
"But she came in last in ikebana."
"Along with your Naruto."
"What are you talking about!? Our flower thing was awesome!!" Naruto yelled.
"It was…something else," the teachers said.
"You just don't appreciate art," Naruto harumphed.
"Let's just go have a jounin/teacher/chuunin party," Asuma suggested, "Gai's already there."
"But he's with his team," Kurenai pointed out.
"They won't miss him."
"Except Lee."
"Neji and Tenten can do enough non-missing to make up for it."
"True…Alright let's go!"
"But what about Sasuke?" Kakashi reminded her.
"Later. I'll have to think of a favor you can do to make it up to me."
"…Oh."
Then the teachers all left, leaving Naruto in that clearing by himself.
"Well, this sucks…" He stood there, pouting a little to himself, then he thought of a way to make himself feel better. He could go find Sasuke and make fun of him! Yeah!
And at last, everyone was gone.
* * *
Sasuke sat on her favorite rock, but wasn't eating this time. Instead, she was just thinking, mainly about the recent events of the day. Those contests had definitely been rigged. There was some sort of conspiracy trying to accomplish…something. Her own public humiliation? Probably…That's what she got for being better than everyone else, lots of people were jealous. She began to wonder if it was at all linked to that fateful morning…but who could've possibly been responsible? It wasn't Kakashi. He didn't like the fact that she was now a girl. It couldn't be any of the other jounin…Kakashi would be able to undo it in that case, since they were all more or less of equal level…Well, they were all jounin at the least…but anyways, why would a jounin do that in the first place? It didn't make any sense. Actually, very little made sense at the moment. It troubled Sasuke.
She sensed someone coming, but this person presented no threat…Actually, now that she was paying attention, she could tell who it was…
You've gotta be kidding…
"SASUKE!! THERE YOU ARE!!"
I need a new favorite rock…
Naruto came running up to her, then stood in front of her and pointed jeeringly. "Sasuke!! You came in last in the beauty contest, aren't you embarrassed!? That's probably why you left early huh!?"
"…Don't forget you got disqualified."
Naruto was about to say something else but stopped there. "Uh. Um. Bah! My being in the contest would've been a total upset!! I'm just too great for it!"
"Or too stupid…" Sasuke stood up and brushed herself off. "Look, I don't feel like dealing with you right now. Either you leave or I go home."
"What!? Oh come on, I'll stop making fun of you!"
Sasuke glared at him. "You were already failing at that."
"Eh?? Well, whatever. Come on, don't leave, I don't have anything better to do!"
"You mean you don't have anyone else you can bother?"
"Um…right."
"……"
"…Can't we just like……hang out or something…?"
"……I'm going home."
"Sasuke!! Come on!"
"I'm sure you can find something more productive to do with your time…like…train, or something."
"Huh? Hey! Let's go right now!"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't feel like it." Actually, Sasuke didn't want to ruin her nice outfit…
"Why??"
"Do you have to know everything about me? Are you going to start stalking me now!?" Sasuke snapped.
Naruto blinked. "Huh?"
Sasuke glared at him for a moment. "Nothing. Nevermind. I'm leaving."
"Hey wait!"
Sasuke left, but Naruto chased after her, and since he was dressed normally, he had a speed advantage.
Sasuke noticed this and was properly annoyed. Why…why did everyone have to bug her?? Male, female, genin, jounin…everyone just loves to annoy Sasuke!! What did she ever do to deserve that!?
She knew Naruto was going to catch up at this rate, so she had to lose him some other way. She made a sharp turn, then backflipped into a tree. Without missing a beat, she quickly formed the handseals for Henge no Jutsu!…And nothing happened.
During the time it took for her to become appropriately bewildered, Naruto found her.
"HA! Gotcha Sasuke! You can't hide from the great Uzumaki Naruto!"
Sasuke tched. That Naruto…Somehow, this was his fault!
Sasuke jumped down and glared at him. "Would it kill you to try shutting up?"
"Huh?"
Sasuke shook her head. "Nevermind. Just…go away."
"But I challenged you! You can't turn down a challenge!"
"I just did."
Naruto grinned evilly. "Oh, I see how it is. You're too scared to fight me! You're gonna run away like a sissy…little girl!!" And then he started laughing like a little punk…because he can.
Sasuke narrowed her eyes. She walked up to Naruto, who stopped laughing when he noticed this, but was still grinning like an idiot. Sasuke stopped when she was right next to him, and after a few seconds, punched him in the face, knocking him back a few feet. While Naruto recovered, Sasuke explained herself. "There's no need for me to fight you. The difference between us is clear. I am vastly superior."
Naruto just grinned even more. "Heh, Sasuke, you seem to be forgetting something important! Like the last spar we had!"
Sasuke blinked. When was this?
"Don't you remember!?" Naruto pointed at her, "I beat you with my ultimate technique!!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh come on!! It was only a few weeks ago! How dumb are you!?"
Sasuke narrowed her eyes…again. Now that she thought about it, she vaguely remembered fighting Naruto before…but if she did she was pretty sure she had won…
"Are you sure I didn't win?"
"Of course not!"
"…You're lying."
"I am not!! I don't know why you're pretending like you don't remember, but if you really wanna know, you can ask Sakura! She was there!"
Sasuke glared at Naruto…or rather, continued to glare at him. Though she hated to admit it, Sakura would be a reliable outside source. She would only say that Naruto had won if Naruto had won. She was too damn lovestruck to randomly say that Sasuke had lost.
"Fine. We'll ask Sakura."
"Fine!"
They went to go find Sakura.
* * *
Sakura was still hanging out with Ino. They'd just got done shopping and were now heading to Sakura's house to…um…play with the stuff they'd bought. Whatever that was. And they were still dressed up from the beaty contest and were happy and giggling because they were certain they'd attracted the attention of innocent bystanders in the mall who obviously had much more refined taste than their stupid and vulgar teammates.
They were almost to Sakura's house when Sasuke and Naruto randomly (to them it seemed random) showed up. Naruto grinned and waved. "Sakura-chan!! You're looking beautiful as always!!"
"Shut up Naruto!" Sakura growled with evil eyes. Well, her eyes didn't growl, but you know what I mean.
Ino decided to say nothing. She was still wary of Sasuke, who seemed to desire to kill her now.
Meanwhile, Naruto sighed dejectedly as dark blue squiggly lines appeared over him.
"Sakura, I need to ask you something," said Sasuke, completely ignoring all the random transpirations.
Sakura almost squealed (Sasuke was talking to her!!) then remembered two things. He was a girl. And she was with Naruto. Instead, she tried to keep her composure and asked, "What is it, Sasuke?"
"Do you know who won the fight between me and Naruto some weeks ago?"
Sakura blinked. Why was she asking about that!? That was the dumbest fight EVER! Naruto won in what had to be the lamest way…Oh yeah, Naruto won. Poor dear beloved Sasuke-kun!
Sasuke blinked. "Um…Sakura?"
"Wh-Oh yeah! Um…What fight were you talking about again…?"
Sasuke couldn't help but feel relieved. So there wasn't a fight after all! That was good. She was really having trouble remembering the details…
"You don't mean that last one do you?" Sakura continued.
…Well, damn.
"Yeahyeahyeah!" Naruto said excitedly, snapping out of his random depression, "Tell him how I won!!"
"I'm not a he," Sasuke corrected, though you'd think she'd be used to it. Or rather…um…something…but it's still an odd thing to say, don't you think?
"Ummm…Well, maybe Naruto did kinda beat you…but that doesn't mean he won!"
Everyone, and I mean everyone (who was present at least), stared at her. Exactly what kind of a sentence was that!?
After she was done staring at Sakura, Sasuke proceeded to glare at Naruto. So he did win? But how!? I'm so much better than him!!
"HA!!" Naruto said, "There! That proves it! I'm better than you Sasuke!"
"That doesn't prove anything. That was only one fight and I don't even remember fighting it!"
"You mean you really don't?"
"…Yes."
"Wow! I won so badly I gave him amnesia! Haha! Take that!!"
"He could just be blocking it out of his memory…" Ino commented, but quietly, so only Sakura could hear her.
Sakura laughed nervously but equally as quietly. You'd think Sasuke would save blocked memories for things like…his entire clan being wiped out or something…Of course, she would never say something like that outloud! Sasuke might smite her or something! Though it was also common knowledge that his brother was the bona fide smiter (smitist?), but we're getting off topic.
Sasuke was oblivious to their musings. She was still talking to Naruto. "I doubt it…What did you do anyway?"
"My secret technique!"
"You mean your stupid technique!" Sakura corrected pointlessly.
"What secret technique?" Sasuke pressed on. I know she hasn't figured it out, but surely you have right? Right? Okay, I hope you said yes. Because…it's kind of obvious. I think.
"Sexy no Jutsu!" everyone but Sasuke informed her.
Sasuke blinked, then realized she should feel embarrassed, then realized that she couldn't let anyone see her like that so she played it cool. "Oh…I knew that."
Then she thought about it more. Naruto beat me with that stupid jutsu!?
"Yeah, you were soo impressed, and unconscious, that after that you decided to steal it! And you did steal it, because it's copyright me!!"
…I stole it?…Wait a second…
Sasuke suddenly snapped out of her deep thoughts and grabbed Naruto by the shoulders. "Naruto! You have to tell me! Was I using the Sharingan!?"
"Uhhh…I think so…Why?"
Sasuke shoved him away so she could go back to thinking, and Naruto fell to the ground. This is just too much to be a coincidence…
Naruto sat up. He was getting annoyed at Sasuke just pushing him around like that for no reason at all. He was about to say something when Sasuke had yet another revelation.
"That's it!! Naruto! You…You did it!"
"Did wha-?" Naruto was cut off by a sudden…hug.
"Thank you!!" Sasuke cried.
Naruto was filled with a whole bunch of mixed feelings, and didn't really come to any rational thought until the last one. The first was surprise, since you know, he'd just randomly been hugged and that doesn't happen to poor Naruto all too often. The second was that the attacker was a girl, and that had never happened before so he was like, whoa cool. And last, but not least, he realized he was being hugged by SASUKE and was filled with absolute revulsion. So he pushed her away. "Ew!! Let go of me!!"
It was at that point that Sasuke realized that she'd just hugged NARUTO and similar feelings of disgust welled up inside her. They both simultaneously leapt backwards and away from each other, then proceeded to glare menacingly, as their personal space had been rudely invaded. And yes, Sasuke believed that it had been Naruto who had invaded her space. Child likes to get her way.
"What did you do that for!!?" Naruto demanded, feeling somewhat horrified and somewhat aghast.
Then Sasuke remembered why she'd done that. "Oh yeah! It's your fault that I'm a girl! Remember, I said I was going to thank whoever did that? Well, thanks!" And Sasuke grinned.
Meanwhile, everyone else present was just…in shock. I mean…come on. That's not a hard one either.
Naruto snapped out of it first. "What do you mean it's my fault!? What'd I do!?"
Sasuke smirked, and she was better at that than grinning anyway, though the grin was fun while it lasted. "Because you used your stupid technique during our fight, I was able to copy it and then…use it…and…you know the rest."
"…Sasuke…" Naruto said in his 'talking to someone stupider than himself' voice. He uses it with Jiraiya a lot.
"Huh?"
"That makes no sense at all."
Sasuke blinked, then chuckled, then laughed some more, and freaked out everyone again in the process.
Eventually Ino became a little less freaked out. "Wait, so you mean all this time you've just been using Henge?"
Sasuke stopped laughing. Everyone stared at him expectantly. Finally, he shrugged. "I guess so."
Then Sakura spoke up. "So that means you could just change back whenever you want to?"
"Umm…I guess so."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGURE THAT OUT SOONER!!?" they both screamed, their heads becoming big and their eyes turning into freaky white circles.
Sasuke was unphased. "It wouldn't have made a difference. I'm still not changing back." She smiled at Naruto. "Thanks again. See ya!"
And Sasuke left, for once in her life feeling on top of the world and wearing her happy yellow outfit to match. The mystery was solved and all that was left was to enjoy it. So what if that idiot Naruto had started it all? Just gave him a little credit to his name. She should probably do something nice for him later. Something that didn't involve a hug. Maybe give him a good fight or something. Yeah that would do.