Too Many Pranks

Ziva—

I'm not going to be in until noon today (family emergency). Can you tell Gibbs? I'd email him, but since the IT people are upgrading all the software, I know his computer is going to be down for most of the morning…thank you so much.

McGee

PS—I tried his cell and it was disconnected. Do you know what's up with that?

Agent Ziva David sipped her jasmine tea and clicked 'reply.' She glanced across the bullpen to her teammate's empty desks. Gibbs was out for coffee, and she hadn't seen Tony yet. Strange, considering his bag and coat were at his desk. She set her tea down and began typing McGee a reply ensuring she would tell Gibbs and that she hoped everything with his family was alright. The elevator dinged. She paid it no attention as she finished up the email.

"Ziva!" An anxious voice whispered.

She startled and glanced around. The bullpen was still empty. She twisted in her chair and looked at the partition suspiciously. She rolled her eyes when she saw a head of short brown hair peeking over the top of the wall.

"Tony." She sighed. "What are you—."

"Is McGee in yet?"

"No, he's—."

"Good. I didn't miss it." Tony jumped to his feet and scurried to his chair, shuffling papers and opening a drawer.

"When did you get here?"

"A while ago. I was down in the lab with Abby." Tony glanced hopefully at McGee's desk once more before turning to his computer, a look of glee on his face. Ziva rolled her eyes. Tony had been playing pranks on Tim all week. First there was the thing with the jumping snakes in the desk drawer, yesterday it had been Tabasco sauce in the coffee. Then he'd filled all of McGee's files with confetti, which had promptly spilled everywhere anytime he opened a drawer or folder. Even after two nights of vacuuming bits of it still turned up in the oddest places. Ziva shook her head, hoping Tony wouldn't take it too far. Especially today, as Gibbs had seemed rather annoyed even before his coffee run.

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Tony was practically giggling as he pulled up his report from yesterday's investigation. While at the grocery store yesterday night, he'd seen a new type of Krazyglue. 'Now even stronger' the box had proclaimed. Tony wasted no time tossing it into his basket, eager to get to work early the next day and slather it over McGoo's keyboard before the other agent arrived.

He grinned a little as his fingers flew over his own keyboard. So far so good.

The elevator dinged.

Gibbs stormed into the bullpen, empty-handed. His shoulders were tense and angry and his mouth was set in a thin, hard line. Gibbs' blue eyes flashed when he saw McGee's empty desk.

"Where the hell is McGee?" He growled

"Oh, he emailed me and said he would be coming in around noon." Ziva said. "Family emergency."

Gibbs' jaw tightened, but he continued to his desk and sat down, turning to his computer.

"Is your cell working, by any chance—."

"No." Gibbs said dryly. "It slipped right out of my hand this morning and shattered against a wall."

Ziva and Tony exchanged looks, wondering what was bugging their crusty boss. It would be a very, very long day if they were a man down and dealing with a coffee-less Gibbs.

With a grunt of frustration, Gibbs slammed his mouse a few times and whacked the side of his computer screen. After a nanosecond or two, he shoved back in his chair and went to McGee's desk, muttering under his breath about incompetent government IT people who couldn't get computers fixed in record time the way McGee could.

"Uh, boss…?" Tony said, following Gibbs with his eyes.

Gibbs dropped into McGee's chair.

"You might not want to touch…"

Gibbs put his right hand on the keyboard before leaning down and poking the power button.

"What, DiNozzo?"

"Don't touch the keyboard!" Tony nearly wailed. Gibbs froze, and as the screen beeped to life, he raised his right hand.

The keyboard came with it.

Ziva rose silently, grabbed her tea, and headed for the elevator deciding that a herd of wild cows…no, horses, would have to come stampeding out before she stuck around to overhear the screaming that was about to go down. She could almost feel the glare he was giving Tony.

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs bellowed. He slammed the keyboard back on the desk, chipping off both plastic legs.

"Boss—boss," Tony jumped out of his chair, his hands up to placate his angry superior. "It was supposed to be for McGee!"

"Your asinine pranks have gone on long enough!" Gibbs stood and moved towards Tony's desk. The keyboard dangled pathetically.

"Boss, if I knew you would be sitting there, I never ever would have even considered putting glue on. Here," Tony leaped out of Gibbs' path and ran over to the drawer where Gibbs kept the acetone. He winced when he heard the sound of a keyboard getting jammed into a metal drawer and then a small roar of anger as Gibbs crunched it in there and tore his fingertips off the square keys. Spots of blood popped up on the disengaged hand

"Get over here." Gibbs ignored the blood and pointed to a spot on the floor in front of him. Tony gulped and dropped the blue bottle back in the desk drawer. So much for the acetone. He drew himself up and walked with a nervous fear in his gut to where his boss indicated.

"Boss, It won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't. Conference room."

"What? Come on, gluing Probie's keyboard never bothered you before…" When Gibbs' gaze didn't waver, Tony nodded dejectedly. It wasn't the first he had heard those gut freezing words, 'conference room', growled from Gibbs' mouth. Gibbs had spanked all of his team at one point or another. Tony had to admit he didn't particularly enjoy the idea (who would?), but given the option of a whooping or a formal reprimand from the director…common sense told them all that the corporal punishment was the better choice.

He followed the older man to the empty conference room. Gibbs locked the door behind them and reached over to the water cooler to grab a few napkins someone had left on top. He dabbed at his hand, staunching the blood before chucking the napkin into the garbage.

Tony gulped and backed towards the far wall, putting a chair between him and Gibbs as his eyes flicked tensely over his boss's movements. This was bad. He knew Gibbs' patience was running thin with his pranks. He had smirked a bit at the exploding snakes on Monday, but Tony had gotten a headslap for Tuesday's spiked coffee. That had been close. Gibbs nearly grabbed McGee's cup on that particular morning, and if the former marine had tasted the Tabasco, Tony would have found himself here in the conference room a lot earlier. Tony had almost held back on the glitter confetti, but decided to go with it anyway. Confetti was harmless after all. The raised brows and un-amused eye rolls as McGee fumbled through the confetti on Wednesday morning made Tony wish he had gone with his first instinct and left the idea alone.

The glue though, Tony winced. He wished he had never seen that 'new and improved' box.

They stared at each other momentarily, Tony's eyes a mix of fear and sincere apology. Gibbs didn't think for a moment that Tony was dumb enough to glue him to a keyboard, but, he should have known better, especially with the IT people doing upgrades.

After a few more seconds, Gibbs reached for his belt.

Tony's eyes widened in shock. "Boss, come on!" He cried. "If it was McGee who'd gotten stuck you wouldn't be doing this!"

"It wasn't McGee." Gibbs said simply. He folded the belt in half and slapped the edge of the table with it, giving Tony the nonverbal command to bend down. The younger agent sighed and leaned over the polished wood, resting his elbows on the smooth surface and gritting his teeth to brace himself. A moment later a line of fire ripped across his butt.

"Ow!" He jerked forward and clenched his hands into fists as several more lashes rained down. The sharp thwapping sounds echoed like gunfire in the room.

"Ow! Boss! C'mon, it was just—ow!" Tony yelped. Blessedly, Gibbs didn't go all out and the spanking stopped after three smacks. Tony hadn't even had time to cry. He blinked a few times a hot haze settled on his ass.

"Up." Gibbs said gruffly. Tony groaned and scooted off the table, his breaths hitching just a little. He heard Gibbs slipping the belt back on and he turned around when Gibbs told him to.

"Ease up on the pranks, Tony." Gibbs said with surprising gentleness in his voice. Tony nodded quickly and flinched when Gibbs raised his hand. "Sh, sh…"

Tony relaxed as the hand ruffled the back of his head fondly. "Get that report done today. And no more pranks for awhile, okay?"

Tony nodded again, adding a respectful "yes, boss."

Gibbs poured him some water from the cooler, which Tony drank gratefully.

"But before you do that," Gibbs said, "go find me some damn coffee."

Tony smiled a bit and nodded.

"Oh, and Tony? Mess with it in any way and we will be back here."

Tony nodded frantically. "Rule 23, boss. I got it."

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McGee hurried out of the elevator at half past twelve, glad to see his teammates all at their desks and working away. They hadn't been called out on a case. Good. After his hectic morning he was looking forward to just relaxing at his desk and breaking in the new wireless keyboard he'd gotten a few days ago. He had the same model at home and was thrilled to find another one cheap online to bring to the office.

He smiled in greeting to Tony and Ziva and froze when he saw his desk. Where he'd left the keyboard last night, a mangled pile of broken plastic and wires now rested. With a squawk of surprise, he went to his chair and dropped his stuff behind his desk. Tim frowned and sadly toed the space bar on the floor with his foot. He squawked again and peered into the open drawer, wincing when he saw many of the other keys and more bits of broken board.

"What….how…why?" He looked frantically at Ziva, who gave him an honest shrug. McGee groaned in disbelief and turned his gaze to Tony. The other agent was sitting quietly at his desk, typing a report. His body was stiff and he was perched very near to the edge of his chair…whatever that was about…focusing entirely on the screen.

"Boss?" He said finally.

"Don't worry McGee." Gibbs sipped his steaming coffee. "I'm sure Tony will help you glue it back together."

End.