A/N I wrote this a couple days ago as a way to help cope with losing an insperation and a mentor at work recently. It's been all over the news and everywhere I look, so dealing with it has been hard and what better way to express and deal with emotion than to make some of my favorite characters go though it as well. While it was cathartic to me, I was hesitant to post it because it's really short and the characters may seem OOC, but I hope that maybe someone else could gather some comfort from it as well.
Oh, people downcast in despair
See the disillusion everywhere
Hoping that their luck will change
It's a little harder every day
People struggle, people fight
For the simple pleasures in their lives
The trouble comes from everywhere
It's a little more than you can bear
I know it will be hurt
I know it will break your heart the way things are
~Natalie Merchant~ Break your heart
Carlton looked over at his partner's desk. She had just picked up the phone and he heard her cheery voice brighten as she realized it was her mother. Juliet's demeanor changed almost instantly and her hand shot to her mouth as she gasped in horror. Carlton shot up from his desk and he made his way over to his partner's desk as she was finishing up her conversation.
"I appreciate you telling me Mom thanks," she said softly as tears started to drip down her cheeks and her bright blue eyes became swollen and red. "No, no. I'll be alright, really." Juliet hung up the phone and turned her eyes to Carlton who was perched on the edge of her desk with a look of concern.
"Everything alright?" He asked even though from the look on her face he knew she wasn't.
"I'm…" Juliet sighed. She couldn't lie to him and say she was fine. "I just found out my former captain from Miami PD was killed today while testifying in court. I guess it was all over the news down there and my Mom thought I should know about it. I—I just feel like I've been punch in the gut."
"I'm so sorry to hear that." He reached down and cupped her arm. "I may not be so great at advice." Juliet chuckled, managing a small smile as she took a deep breath. "But I'm here to listen if you want"
"It's stupid really. I barely knew her. I don't know why I'm so heartbroken." Juliet looked down and rubbed her eyes with the heals of her hands. Carlton handed her a tissue as she let out a sob and pulled her into a hug as she cried into his chest.
"It's not stupid to feel sorrow when someone dies."
"I barely knew her but she was like a mentor for me. When I joined the academy in Miami she was an inspiration for all of the female cadets. One night she invited all the top students over to her house for dinner and I got to sit right next to her, being head of the class and all. During dinner she leaned over and told me how proud she was to see a strong young woman following in her foot steps. It really meant so much to me. That was the last time I really talked to her, but it stuck with me. I'd see her at my station every now and then, she would offer a smile or wave but I never talked to her again. But she was always so good to us. She was a lot like you Carlton, with a deep respect for justice, and would do everything in her power to uphold the law. Out of everyone I worked with… why her… why did she have to die?"
"We all know the risks of our job. We work in a dangerous field. People shoot at us, people swear revenge everyday, but we still do it because we love what we do. She believed she made a difference in people's lives and lived her to the fullest. I've lost plenty of friends and mentors thought the years as well and it doesn't get any easier. It's like losing a member of your family weather you were close with them or not." Juliet nodded.
"She died in the line of duty, doing a job that she loved. It's still so hard." Carlton let go and looked in to her eyes.
"It's not supposed to be easy, but I'm here to support you, Chief Vic, heck even Spencer. Despite his annoying behavior he cares for you. Even I can see that."
"Thank you Carlton. That really means a great deal to me. It may not feel like it now but I think it'll get better, and I will work hard if nothing more than to honor her memory and what she stood for."
