A/N: Hey guys! Here is my second story relating to Twilight. I try to keep as true to the characters personalities as possible, but I think I'll need to venture out a little bit on Bella's. In my story, she won't be quite as uncoordinated – still clumsy, just not so much she can't walk without falling. She will also need to stand up for herself with Edward a bit more. Throughout the books it seemed to me it was all about her pleasing everyone else. What if she made some decisions the boys had to follow? Read on to find out! Review if you'd like, especially if you have any ideas! I have a loose plot, but nothing that can't be altered for a good idea!

Enjoy!

Oh, and I don't own anything Twilight. Credit all goes to Stephenie Meyer! Brilliant woman!

Oh no. I thought as we exited the school building. Jacob was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for Edward and I. There was supposed to be a storm tonight, and I wanted to go with the Cullens to watch them play baseball.

I loved watching them shy from their human façade. I knew Jacob was going to have an issue with it. I was supposed to be spending the afternoon on the reservation with him.

I was planning on calling him when I got home, but apparently he decided to come meet me here.

Edward growled softly as we approached Jacob.

"Hey Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I decided to surprise you… surprise!" he grinned.

I couldn't help but grin back. Being around Jacob, it was so easy to be cheerful.

"Bella has decided she would rather spend the night with my family and I," Edward said coolly.

"Edward!" I half shriek. I hate when they act like this with each other.

"No way," says Jacob. "I have plans with Bella for tonight!" he whines.

When they bicker over me I feel like a twelve year old dealing with her parents divorce. I'm forever stuck between my werewolf best friend, and my vampire boyfriend. Mortal enemies, brought together by me, the lowly human.

A crowd is beginning to form and it makes me self conscious. I hate being the center of attention.

Edward is usually more careful than this, I tug on his arm and pointedly look at the people watching.

"This isn't the place to throw a fit Jacob. Can't scare the children," Edward says smoothly.

I hate when they talk about everyone my age as children. I know Edward does it to be condescending to Jacob, but Jacob is only a few years younger than I.

I look at them both, briefly wondering how this will end.

Edward has been increasingly protective over me, and Jacob is starting to behave the same way. Like I'm becoming more fragile with every passing second.

I think Jacob is just trying to spend as much time with me as possible before my heart stops beating, but it's still annoying.

We all walk closer together so no one can overhear. I wish I could just go sit in the car. I'm tired of all of this.

They both cross the line when Jacob reaches out to pull my arm. "She's mine tonight!" he says forcefully.

Edward pulls me out of Jacob's grasp before he could pull me towards him. "No, dog. She's mine, every night. You only get to borrow her."

It takes a few seconds for them both to realize I'm trying to pull away from them and not just flailing around.

"I am my OWN! I do NOT belong to anyone!" I shriek. So much for not drawing attention to myself.

"Bella, be reasonable." Edward stresses. I'm sure he just means to remind me not to make a scene, but I don't care.

"I've had enough!" I yell, disgusted with them both. I threw my hands into the air and spun around. Angela was thankfully driving right towards us, I flag her down and she rolls down her window.

"Hey Bella! What's up?"

"Hey... would you mind taking me home?"

She raises her eyebrows questioningly. I see her cower slightly in her seat as she glances behind me. I can only imagine the looks they are giving her.

I walk around the car and open the door. Before I slid into the seat I glance over the roof of the car, "don't follow me," I whisper, knowing they would both hear.

Angela is such a good friend. She never even asked me what was going on; although I knew she had to wonder. When we were finally at my house, I got out, thanked her profusely and walked into my house.

I may have slammed the door a little too hard because Charlie, who was napping on the couch, jumped up, hand going to his belt where his gun normally is.

"Sorry Dad." I manage to look sheepish.

"What's going on Bells?" I know he means well, but I just can't talk about this now… I need to figure it out in my head first.

"Oh nothing Dad, just a long day." I pause for a moment; he seems to have bought it. I venture a little further, "hey, do you mind if we order in tonight? I'm not really up to cooking."

"Sure, no problem. Don't worry about it." He shuffled into the kitchen to the junk drawer to pull out some menus.

Before he can ask, "you pick dad, I'm going to go upstairs and start on my homework."

I stop off in the bathroom, when I look in the mirror I realize I look a bit frazzled. The shorter pieces of my hair are wispy and loose from the ponytail. My cheeks are mottled and my eyes are wide. I try to relax my muscles, but nothing changes.

I start to think back to what I just did as I make my way to my room. I quickly scan the room, making sure my orders were followed, and flop on the bed.

I pulled the tie from my hair and let it fall loosely around my shoulders.

What now? I'm so tired of Edward being so protective. I know that he's only trying to keep me safe – but I survived 17 years without him in a city a thousand times bigger than Forks. Yes, I know I seem to attract more danger here, but maybe it's not all me. Maybe I'm attracting more danger because of Edward.

I heave a big sigh. "That's ridiculous," I mutter aloud.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't keep going like this. I wanted to be changed, but now I'm not a hundred percent sure. I want to be a thousand percent sure before I ask for something there is NO coming back from.

I can't tell Edward – but I'm sure Alice has already seen that I'm having doubts. Maybe that's why he's been overly protective lately. It's gotten almost silly.

He sabotaged my truck because I promised I'd finally let him replace it when it finally bit the dust. The next week, it just stopped working. Charlie offered to let me use the cruiser for a few days until we could find a replacement. I kindly declined that offer.

I insisted that Jacob look at it, he is after all a mechanic. Edward got to him first though. I'm sure of it.

He lifted up the hood, poked around a bit and sad, "Sorry Bells. No can fix." I was defeated.

When Edward drove me home the next day, my brand new car was sitting outside the house. It was dark grey with tinted windows. I will admit it looked very sleek. I asked what it was, and he told me it was an Armored Audi S8. Armored, very funny.

I thought back to earlier this afternoon in the parking lot at school. I didn't mean to blow up like I did, but I need to get my thoughts in order. I just feel like I'm losing myself, losing what makes me Isabella Swan.

I don't want to be coddled, I want to be lusted after, loved, caught up in a whirlwind romance that steals both parties breath away. I don't want to be 'only human' in a supernatural romance. But I'm not sure I'm ready to step into eternity. I was always so sure.

But, what if I take that step and it's not even remotely close to as it is now. What if it's much worse? Will Edward still want me around when I can fend for myself? When he doesn't need to swoop in and save me? When I don't blush? When I will be able to run beside him instead of latched to his back?

Will he still want me when he doesn't have to be restrained.. when he can kiss me freely, without holding back.

Maybe he only wants me now because it's all so new. Every time Edward allows me to cross the boundary line he draws every night, it's different, exciting, new. When I'm changed we won't need that boundary line. When things aren't so new, will they still be exciting?

I decided to take a hot shower before I allowed my thoughts to overtake me.

As I was walking to the bathroom I heard the doorbell chime.

Please be the food were my only thoughts.

I heard my dad shuffle to the door, "is Bella home?" I heard his perfect voice float up the stairs.

My heart picked up in double time, I knew he could hear it, he knew I was home even before he knocked. Now he knew I knew he was here.

"Bella, Edward's here" Charlie yelled up the steps. I was frozen, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to run down the stairs and allow his marble arms to encase me, hold me forever. But I knew that wasn't an option.

I still didn't decide what to do next. After my fit in the parking lot that afternoon I had to figure out what I meant by it, and what I was going to do now. I couldn't expect things to go back to normal.

I glanced down the stairs to see Charlie looking up at me like I was crazy. I never hesitated when Edward came over.

"Uh, tell him I'm hopping in the shower.. and I'll call him later?" I quickly asked my dad. I knew Edward heard me and I was sure he was as confused as I was.

I wonder what Alice saw in my future now, it was probably changing rapidly, maybe that's why he was here.

Charlie gleefully told Edward I wasn't available, grudgingly adding I'd call him later.

I practically ran the last few steps to the bathroom. When I was safely inside I rested my back against the door, drawing my bottom lip between my teeth and closing my eyes.

I sighed. I hated this. I wish I knew what to do. I had to let Edward know that this wasn't alright, that I had to live my life. I wanted to share my life with him, not have him dominate every aspect.

Maybe that was being too harsh. I love Edward, honestly I do. I just feel like he's slowly becoming another father figure instead of my boyfriend.

I opened my eyes and yelped. Edward was standing a few feet away from me.

"W-w-what are you doing?" I whispered.

"Bella" he croaked. "What's going on?" he sounded so pained.

"I-I don't know, Edward. I just need to think some things through."

"Talk to me Bella, you know I can't hear your thoughts, and it drives me insane. I want to know what you're thinking."

"I'm glad you can't hear my thoughts. Some things should be private." He visibly flinches. I reach out, as if to soothe him, then I remember he's standing in my bathroom, uninvited.

"Edward, please. Just… I need time. Just to think." I didn't realize I had closed my eyes again, but when I opened them, he was gone.

Did I imagine it? I couldn't have. Impossible.

I look behind the shower curtain, just in case, chastising myself as I do so. I do believe Edward is quite a bit more sophisticated than to hide in a bathtub.

When I'm done with my shower, I realize it didn't help at all. I was supposed to sort though my thoughts.

Before I leave the bathroom, I stand in front of the fogged up mirror. Looking at my foggy, distorted reflection I make my next few decisions quickly.

I think of Alice very hard. I imagine what she's doing right now, hunting. Her eyes glass over and she sees me, standing in a steamy bathroom.

I scrawl Please, don't tell him on the bathroom mirror. I hope this works.

I calmly walk down the stairs, looking for my dad.

"Hey dad, I think I'm going to go visit mom for a while."