100 Ways to Kill Sue-Belle
1: Death by Valoo
By weirdghostboo
As inspired by the 100 Ways to Kill Ilia, I decided to create my own fanfic, starring Sue-Belle. I dunno why I'm doing this… I just hate her. Oh, and for all those idiots who don't who Sue-Belle is, she's the annoying bitch in Wind Waker who carries the jars around.
It was a nice morning on Outset Island. The sea was shining; the seagulls and pigs weren't stalking
anyone, and Orca wasn't pissing his brother off. Link was heading off to his good buddy, the King of Red
Lions, so they would sail to Dragon Roost Island. But, as Link was about to step on, he heard the most
annoying voice of all time.
"Oh my little Link!" the annoying bitch, aka Sue-Belle called.
"Just go, King, go go go! We gotta get to Dragon Roost before they run out of cake mix!" Link cried. But
it was too late. Sue-Belle had reached the boat.
"Link, I wanna go to Dragon Roost Island too," Sue-Belle pouted. "I wanna go see the dragon, and the
volcano, and the Rito!" However, as Sue-Belle was saying this, the KORL came up with an idea. He
whispered it into Link's pointy ear, and Link grinned.
"Hop on board, Sue-Belle," Link said with an evil smile. "I know just the place on Dragon Roost to take
you…"
One Ballad of the Gales and extreme temple speed run later, Link and Sue-Belle was under Valoo the
Dragon's tale. Medli had warned Link of the risk, but Link was willing to chance it.
"Right, now Sue-Belle," Link explained. "I want you to go and grab Valoo's tale. He sure loves it when
people do that, especially people from Outset Island." Link shoved Sue-Belle into the room where
Valoo's tale was, and shoved the door behind him.
Meanwhile, Sue-Belle looked up at Valoo's tale. "Holy shit, that is high," Sue-Belle thought, but she
managed to get it first try. Valoo swore in Hylian, went through the ground, and saw Sue-Belle
hanging onto his tale. "Get the hell off my tale!" Valoo swore, but ate the stupid bitch anyway.
The blood dripping from Valoo's jaws spelled: 99 deaths to go. Death to Sue-Belle.
So, whaddya think?
Sue-Belle: You stupid bitch! You killed me!
Me: Some other sap come and kill the stupid cow already!