Disclaimer: I don't own death note.
"Achoo!"
"Bless you Ryuuzaki."
"Thank you Light. I apologize for breaking your concentration."
"Don't worry about it," he assured and went back to reviewing the latest criminals killed or at least tried to since the silence was interrupted by another sneeze, "Bless you again."
"Thanks."
"Ryuuzaki…"
"Let's not to call attention to such a minor issue."
"Easy for you to suggest that. You're not the one being…"
"Achoo!"
"Disturbed every five seconds just like that."
"Try to focus on the matter at hand. I need you to help me figure out who at Yotsuba is behind these recent Kira murders."
"Well I think you need to tell me what's wrong."
"Wrong?"
"Yes. Clearly something is wrong."
"I haven't the slightest… achoo!"
"There. You don't find that odd. Ever since I've been forced to be with you 24 hours a day I never seen you sneeze, not once and now you've already done it four times."
"What's your point?"
"My point is you're sick."
"That's absurd."
"Then why do you keep sneezing?"
"Light, you draw conclusions too quickly and have come to the wrong one. Think of all the possibilities. There are numerous reasons for sneezing. Achoo!"
"Like what, allergies?"
"Correct."
"Fine I'll accept that."
"Now that you agree we can end this ridiculous…"
"Hold on Ryuuzaki I accept that as a legitimate reason under normal circumstances but not for you."
"Why? Am I not allowed to have an allergy?"
"No except do you even know how it works. You have to be in contact with the thing you're allergic to for a reaction. Common allergens are pollen, dander, dust neither of which are here now."
"Perhaps I'm allergic to criminals."
"Come on be serious."
"I'm very serious. It makes sense. The cause for my sneezing could be Kira."
"That's impossible. Why would you suggest that? Oh don't tell me, this is another one of your attempts to prove I'm Kira. How many times do I have to…"
"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!"
"Never mind. Bless you."
"Thank you. Maybe it's just a coincidence."
"No I don't think so. It's happening too many times and now you're doing it consecutively. That's not a good sign."
"Did you know there's a theory that if someone sneezes it's because they're being talked about?"
"It's only a superstition. Could you really believe in something that has no factual proof behind it?"
"Good point. Achoo! Achoo!"
"Here, try blowing your nose and see if that helps."
He merely looked at the white, cloth handkerchief being held out to him for a couple of seconds contemplating whether to accept it or not. Even if he didn't want to admit the cause his nose was tickling and dripping which required all of his willpower not to sniffle or rub it and a blow would feel good. The gurgling sound of the congestion being released should have been enough to incriminate him but he maintained his composed expression after finishing grateful the urge to sneeze subsided ready to continue their discussion.
"I wonder if someone's cause of death could be sneezing."
"No it's generally a harmless act. Just used as one of the body's defense mechanisms."
"Hmm I guess you're right."
"Ryuuzaki when was the last time you were sick?"
"A while if at all. I can't remember therefore it mustn't have happened. Do I really seem like the type to get sick?"
"Everyone gets sick at some point in their life."
"Not me."
"What's so different about you?"
"The reason could be that I'm not human."
"Stop joking."
"What proof do you have to support I'm not from an alien race?"
"Well I admit you behave strangely sometimes and have a few unusual habits but not enough to make you an alien. If you want the truth I think you're stalling."
"You're so hasty to judge. I'm merely testing out all the rationales. It's required in order to be a good detective."
"Of course. Do you know what causes someone to catch a cold?"
"Being exposed to a lowered temperature environment."
"That's actually a myth since people's immune systems are less capable to fight off an infection and microscopic organisms can survive better when it's cold making the chances higher. The main cause is stress, not getting enough sleep so your body can't function properly."
"Interesting. Since you seem to be an expert on the subject why don't you tell me hypothetically what a person would do if they had a… achoo! Cold."
"The best remedy is rest and a lot of it. You, or I should say a person, needs to allow their body to recover. Also liquids are important, hot ones since solid foods can be difficult to get down."
"Would coffee and tea work?"
"Yes just without all that sugar or caffeine. They're not good to have when you're sick."
"It all makes sense now."
"So are you finally conceding?"
"I mean I've figured out the cause for my sneezing. Have you ever heard of a condition called the photic sneeze reflex?"
"Does it have to do with being sick?"
"Not at all. It's a genetic trait carried by around 25% of the population. A person sneezes when they're exposed to light."
"We're indoors in a room only lit by computer monitors. What possible light… Ryuuzaki!"
"Oh Light you're such a good sport. Now shall we go back to the room? I'm actually feeling a bit tired."
"As if I have a choice. We're stuck together."
"Light?"
"What?"
"Achoo! Achoo! I'm sick with a cold."
"You think? Brilliant deduction detective."