It was a slow day at the Black Nights headquarters: C.C was protesting the demolition of a Pizza Hut, Takami was "flexing" in front of a mirror, and Diethar was waiting anxiously for Zero to come start the weekly meeting.

"Come on already!" muttered Diethar under his breath," The guy's already been late twice!"

Zero walked through the doorway," Diethar, I'm ready to start the meeting!"

Diethar replied," Zero, the meeting was supposed to start two hours ago! Wait a minute, now I have a new story!"

Zero sat down in his seat at the table," All right, Diethar, what's up?"

"I'm doing fine, my goldfish Marley died this week, but overall-"

"I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BRITANNIANS!" yelled Zero, spilling Ohgi's orange juice on the other side of the table as he slammed his fist down.

"Dude!" yelled Ohgi," People in Florida DIED to make that juice!"

Diethar started the meeting," OK, first order of business, it;s been confirmed Britannian forces are hiding in the Middle East!"

"Kill them all!" ordered Zero.

"Zero, innocent Muslims are in that Area, too!" said Tohdoh, "It'd ruin your image if we killed them!"

"Ah yes! But then, we'd be killing Osama bin laden as well!" fire glowed in his eyes as he spoke.

" Zero, that's a manga character in a manga about an alternate universe!" pointed out Ohgi," Horrible people such as Bush, Oprah Winfrey, and polka dancers never exist!"

"Yeah, can you imagine a world without Knightmare frames?" asked Takami.

Everyone laughed.

"Ok, it's agreed, we bomb the Middle East!" said Diethar," Second order of business, Rakshata wants to show you the upgrades for the Guren, she calls it the Guren Tundra!"

"Ok, start the video," yelled Zero, no one knowing he was thinking of illegal chess gambling the whole time.

Rakshata hooked up her camera to the projector," All right, because I got a great deal on Mexican workers, I'm actually in the video, and Julio's filming it!"

She started the video, and on the screen, Rakshata was standing outside the Guren head.

"This is Rakshata, and I'm going to show you some of the new improvements on the Guren!" said video Rakshata.

She went inside and pointed out some of the new features," I downloaded a new version of Skype on the dashboard and made it Bluetooth compatible!"

Everyone sweatdropped.

Video rakshata continued," Also, there's this button on the side!" Vid Rakshata pointed to a pink button that said "LOVE"," Since this is a PG-13 video, Kallen will just have to press it and..."enjoy" it."

The video stopped, and everyone was staring at Kallen.

"What?" asked Kallen, embarassed," I never pressed it before!"

"Riiight...," Diethar continued," last order of business, hentai magazines want to borrow Zero, C.C, Kallen, and Suzaku for photo shoots on Monday, they're willing to pay $15,000 for every shot, and an extra $50 for every Suzaku and Zero one."

Everyone stared blankly at Zero.

" Idiots," thought Zero," Well, now that we're done, enjoy your Saturday!"

Everyone left the table, and Zero swiftly ran out the door.

" Why does he always leave in such a hurry?" Kallen asked to herself," It's been like that for a month!"

"Wanna find out?" Kallen was startled, but turned around and saw that it was Tamaki.

"Um, why do you wanna find out?" asked Kallen," You don't even know what Zero looks like under the mask!"

" Hey, I'm his right-hand man, so I'm finding out what's up!" Tamaki ran after Zero, hoping not to be caught.

Kallen sighed," Idiot," and followed him.

They had followed Zero deep into Tokyo, and he seemed like he was in a hurry.

"What do you think he's doing?" whispered Tamaki to Kallen as they hid behind a hobo and his sign.

" Maybe he's buying groceries?"
"Well, I'm scoping the inside of that strip club for suspicious activity!" Tamaki practically ran to the club and leaped through the doorway.

Kallen continued following Zero until he took off his mask, revealing his face.

"What's he up to?" Kallen asked as he followed him into an alley.

Lelouch stepped into a small box, and came out in his street clothes. Kallen hid as he passed her and went back onto the street.

She followed him until he heard a voice behind her saying," Are you here to help out the cause?"

Frightened, Kallen pulled out her gun, but realized it was C.C. instead. Now she REALLY wanted to fire the gun.

" Hey, easy!" said C.C.," I just want to know if you're interested in helping us free Pizza Hut!"

Kallen looked over C.C's shoulder and saw some pizza hippies tied to the building, singing John Lennon's "Imagine". She saw Lelouch duck into an alley, and she quickly followed, C.C. following her. In the alley, Kallen saw Lelouch talking with an old man in a trenchcoat. She could hear them talking.

"How much is that one?" asked Lelouch, pointing inside the man's coat.

"Oh, that's an economy tube, it works better than regular ones," answered the man.

" Is he buying condoms?" asked C.C., interested for once.

"Hey, shut up!" yelled Kallen.

Lelouch turned toward her, but they ducked behind another hobo. Lelouch pulled out some money," I'll take some economy tubes, please."

"Hold it right there!" Kallen ran out from behind the hobo," Just what are you buying, Lelouch?"

"Kallen!?"

C.C. stood next to Kallen," Is it condoms?"

"C.C!?" Lelouch backed away, hiding the "economy tubes" in his coat," look, this isn't what it looks like!"

"It better not!" Kallen tackled Lelouch and looked through his coat," Let's see, wallet, contact lenses, Ah ha! Refrain!"

Lelouch stood up," That's mine!"

"Lelouch why the hell are you taking this stuff!?" asked Kallen," This is our version of heroin!"

" Um, Kallen-"

"I know, you want me to stop making references to that manga, Code US Border, but I won't!"

"Kallen, that's not-"

"I mean, sure, it's got some plot holes, and the main character is a scrawny (but handsome) boy, but that's no reason it wasn't given it's own anime!"

" Kallen, THAT'S MY-"

"You know what? I don;t care how much it is, I'm breaking it!" Kallen slammed the glass tubes on the concrete ground, clear liquid seeping out.

"No more salesmen!" C.C. kicked the salesmen in the balls and gangbanged him using her specially designed glock.

L:elouch's face froze as he stared down at the broken glass and liquid," Kallen, what did you do!?"

"I steered you on the path to a long, fulfilling life!" Kallen grabbed his arm," Now, come on, I'm taking you to Rehab!"

"Kallen, that was my insulin!" yelled Lelouch," I have diabetes, remember!?"

END