Disclaimer-I own nothing but what I made up
--
The clacker ,a Chicken like creature wearing overalls, watched nervously as the figure strolled closer to the gate. All features obscured to shadow from the rising sun. New faces made most clackers get their feathers in a bunch, this clacker couldn't even see its face. So He about destroyed his pants. He was relieved though that we was in a bullet proof ltittle cubicle, filled with buttons and levers that controlled the power grid of the town. It was like a mini fortress.
"OOOOH why did I did dun got me guard duty when all the bad ass's came to town" He clucked to himself as he fretted over his stained overalls. The clacker waited impatiently for the figure to pony up and just get to the gate all ready.
Finally, after a parade of swaggering, the stranger came close enough for the clacker to get a good eyeful. It wore a dark wide brim leather hat that cast its face in constant shadow. A bright red bandanna with frayed corners furthered concealed its face. Only peculiar murky blue eyes peered at the clacker. Traces amounts of pale skin of its face showed, too smooth and pure for this creature to be an out law.
Which only relaxed the clacker a llittle.
Its tall, lanky body that was almost the exact opposite of the clackers stout plump one was clothed with an old brown trench coat that was probably leather too, reached a torn hem for the things boot clad feet. Black demie pant secured with a belt that held an impressive amount of bullets had a off white shirt tucked in it. A rifle strapped to its back completed the look.
The clacker gained its composure enough to greet it.
"Howdy there ummm" the clacker wasn't quite sure whether or not if it was a he or a she "……….friend?" the clacker tried . It didn't seem to offend it, so he continued on.
"what's 'er bossiness here in …….."the clacker asked confidently
"I'm yere looking for some cash tis earn" the thing replied, voice clearly girly. Which gave some allusion to what the clacker was dealing with.
"Well 'yer can try the bounty store. They might have something for an…an" the clacker couldn't tell whether the hell or not this thing was a lass or a lad with a frightful high pitched voice. "individual like yourself"
The thing nodded before replying " Sounds like a plan" very faint sarcasm was lost on the clacker.
"Welcome to Gizardting then, I'll Have to Take 'em weapons for safety purposes"
This seemed To upset the thing, but it forked over its rifle and ammunition through the llittle slot at the window. The clacker not wanting to be on its bad kill-you-and/or-rip-your-face-off side leaned closer to the intercom.
" Just atween you and me, I would I put the pedal to medal getting over to are here 'ounty store. There's been another stranger like yourself clearing out those stinky bastard outlaws" he whispered.
The thing narrowed its eyes " Ya don't say? We better open these gates then before I get out of the daisy mood I was in" it almost growled.
The clacker squawked in fear as it frantically pulled a lever. The thing almost seemed to grin through its bandana as it nodded its goodbye and strolled through the gate .
The clacker sighed as it fell back into its chair. A disgusting smushing sound arose as the clackers face contorted into a even more hideous shape.
"Awww I done made biscuits and gravy in my trousers again"
--
Little did the clacker know that the thing was scared crapless also. Though it had better control of bowel movements. Also that it was a she. She didn't want too many people knowing that about her though. She also had a name, Feoa, but she called herself Spade
Now.
It was almost unbelievable that she was able to get past that clacker. That he trusted her word. So one thing kept running through her mind
"ohmagodohmagodohmagodohmagodOHMAFREAKINGOD"
The loner kept her cool though. If she didn't then, it would be all over in minutes. This dog eat dog world didn't allow for a screw-up. Especially if your all you got. Especially if the whole world was out to get you.
But she could take care of herself. She had always taken care of herself, it wouldn't stop now that she was alone. Besides the clacker hadn't taken away all of her defense, she still has about three pistols and two knives.
She did the swagger she mastered only a few days earlier into the main crossroads of the town. It had a satisfying effect of clackers squawking and shuffling away. Clucking amusing gossip to themselves. She felt respected and fear not the usual hated and feared
It felt good.
She gazed around this one horse town. It had it a Dumpy, dusty, bite the dirt kind of feel. It had the essentials for any town , a bounty store, a general store, a big house, and the usual various houses. No saloon though. What surprised her was that there was an doctors office. It didn't suit this town at all.
The clackers were incredible slobs. It was evident all over their clothes. It also had a homely dust feeling that reminded her of her childhood. The town grew on her like a mold.
She headed towards the end of town where the bbounty store eye-catching neon orange sign shown brightly. Competing with the neighboring General store green neon sign. It gave the whole street an almost gaudy, cheap look, like a clacker wearing fish nets. The Loner blinked as the image burned her mental eye.
She hesitated at the front of the bounty store. Remembering all the nightmares of being caught and seeing the inside of this place. The hesitation was only for a moment as she felt the sharp pecking eyes of the clackers drilling into her back. She gulped as she pushed the swinging door to the darkness of her nightmares.
--
She walked towards the front desk of the bounty store. Her eyes not quite adjusted to the light.
"Howdy ther , if ya yere for some bounties Well Sorry you piddled ya time. Were about cleared out. Stranger will Back with the last outlaw, directly" the clackered informed.
The loner curled her fists until she knew her knuckles were whitening.
Stranger
This was this the Second god damn town she came to that this 'Stranger' had cleared out. What was more infuriating that the 'Stranger' was almost the same sounding alias that she had picked out.
"Who ter Hell is this blame Stra……." The swinging doors squeaking followed by some jingling boot steps interrupted her. Sighing she ignored this and turned her full attention to the clacker.
"So wheres the next town that I tie ter for some 'ounties?" She asked, allowing her eyes to wander to the corner of them as the newcomer came closer to the desk. His over all ensemble Also looked a lot like Spade's.
The Stranger was wearing a hat similar to hers, little triangular ears poked up through the top.
What a bastard.
Acidic green eyes stared at the clacker from it brown furry face.
Oh so scary.
He wore a poncho made of swirling stitched together leather a turquoise shirt could be seen around his incredibly defined arms. Light pants stitched together at the seam came to some metal cowboy boots inlaid with turquoise down the sides.
Oh wasn't he a little right on pretty boy git.
Stranger annoyed the crap out of her. Spade Tried to control her breathing, to keep her cool. She shouldn't have a fit over this low brow curly wolf. He wasn't worth it. So she kept her eyes on the clacker as he replied to her question.
"Ya can try Buzzarton, they probably need a cleaning" the clacker said thoughtfully as he turned his attention to Stranger.
Spade rolled her eyes and wandered over to the map on the far side of the room. She scanned it carefully trying to find the quickest way to cut a path out of this town so she could get ahead of Stranger. Spade listen though mostly to the conversation that the clacker and Stranger were having. She almost wince at the amount that Stranger got for his bbounties. One thousand five hundred and sixty mulah. That was quite a haul.
And it could have been hers.
There was also something about a Doctor, but Spade didn't care. If he had some terminal disease, all the better for her.
Spade had about as much as she could of the bounty store and was about to leave when she heard the Bounty stores phone ring. The first time she ever heard such a thing. She turned around to watch the clacker take a strange looking thing from beneath the desk.
"ello, Gizard gulch bounty store………what…….WHAT…….oh lordy, when will that bastard be yere………….NOW……. tanks Fred"
The clacker looked quite distressed as it hung the black ear piece back on its hook and stored the phone underneath the desk.
"Blistered Booty's brother is here to break him out, I need a bounty hunter on him NOW"
The clacker screeched. Spade bounded over to the desk before pretty boy could put in a word. "I'll take it" she said breathlessly. Stranger turned, startled at her sudden appearance from the other side of the room.
" 'old on there little missy, that'll be my 'ounty" Stranger said obviously a llittle ticked that Spade was moving in on his territory.
Spade turned and stared right into Stranger's impending glowing green eyes.
"Screw off 'uddy, this here tis my 'ounty" Spade growled the best she could and turned quickly away before she could let any fear show.
A large explosion shook the bounty store. Causing the wood to shiver like a wounded beast. Spade almost lost her balance but kept it by tightening her gut. She gulped silently before announcing
"That's my cue" her heart was racing wildly as if it was trying to burst out of her chest. She felt her legs carrying her towards her possible doom. Why the hell did she want that bounty so badly again? She felt like she was floating out of her body in a surreal fashion. She was quickly jolted back as she felt talons claw into her back.
"Not afore I get to tat ounty first" Spade heard strangers ominous voice growled.
Spade eyes widened as she reacted as her mama taught her to. A blade gleamed at strangers throat.
"Don't a test me, you don't what taa hell your dealing with" Spade whispered. Another blast made the store tremble, making the knife wave profusely close to a major artitey. She felt stranger tense as the sharp edge sawed off a few hairs.
Spade quickly sheathed the knife, satisfied that stranger had a second thought about her. She moved quickly towards the exit.
--
The town was a wreck. Buildings were in shambles, things were on fire, clackers were flipping out. Classic outlaw handy work.
The final stage of the chaos was almost complete if her knowledge of outlaws was worth its weight in salt.
The only thing left to do was to kill the offending being who caused the ransacking and do something horrible to the corpse. Mayhap a banner with the guts strewn in a festive manner; to be paraded around until the corpse decayed off of its pole.
Spade smiled slightly as she imagined such a fate to Stranger.
She was quickly jarred out of her slight daydream as she heard the grutal voice snap orders.
Spade quickly melted into the shadows as she heard those orders being followed obediently by outlaw grunts.
Thankfully there was some kind of motley wall right of the bounty store. She was able to peek through a gash in the wall and watch the large, flabby form of Boilz Booty walk away from her.
Spade criticized the situations from all possible sides of the problem that she could think of.
The first plan was to haul ass in a few sweeps of frenzied shooting and take out as many outlaws as possible or she could try a sneaky attack and take them out one by one until Boilz was left. Both had the element of surprise that she needed to make up for her lack of strength and fire power.
She wished wistfully for her rifle that could of came in handy right about now.
Her ears pricked as she heard something. She pressed herself closer to the shadows as someone walked by her. It was stranger.
Stupid, howler monkey faced, scarecrow looking Stranger.
Who was currently loading his crossbow thing and knocking some heads. It was really weird watching him shoot down the outlaws.
Like some kind of crazy critter man-handler, he used little creatures that she sometimes saw scurrying around and shot them out of his crossbow. She was in awe for a moment as he pumped those Critters out like no tomorrow.
Spade realized that with each flying screaming critter that Stranger shot she was losing muulah. She cursed silently to her self as she backtracked to behind the storefronts. She quickly found Boilz who wasnt alerted yet to Pretty boy's presence.
Spade hefted a rock and threw it at Boilz head. Hours of childhood practice paid off as the rock rebounded off the Outlaws head with a hollow thunk.
Booty looked around confused as he Squealed "WHAT WAS THAT" . Which highly disturbed Spade that Boilz could make such a sound. It didn't disturbed her as much though as she thought it funny. She emitted a mocking chuckle that copied Boilz high pitched tone.
She frowned at the completely unintended accuracy.
It got Boilz attention though. He growled as he realized that he was being made a fool.
He charged like a rapid sleg towards Spade who quickly clambered up a collapsed building.
She faced Boilz once she climbed the highest she could. The loner tried to think of plan to bag Boilz from vantage point she was in. Boikz was looking around looking for the originator of the jibe that had dare insulted him. He circled a few times around a large rock that suddenly gave Spade an idea.
Spade bite her lip as she judge whether or not she was gonna survive the stunt she was going to pull. After a moment hesitation she decided that Boilz was ample enough even if she missed horribly.
After Spade wiggled her bottom a few times to scoot herself into the right position, she jumped off and started screaming like a Kamikaze.
Boilz looked with utter surprise as Spade came flying towards him as if she was shot out of Strangers crossbow. He only stood there stupidly in his surprise as Spade crash landed onto his head.
Instantly Spade clawed onto Boilz fleshy neck rolls that felt like soft maggoty flesh.
He stumbled a bit underneath the weight of her until he finally trip over the large rock. Boilz went down with a shudder as his forehead, the only area of his small head not covered by Spade hit a bit of broken metal with a resounding crack.
Spade cringed as she quickly clambered off.
Boilz eyes rolled up into his head but not before they widened as he caught a glimpse of Spade.
"Feoa?" he gurgled as he blacked out.
--
Feoa.
That was her first memory.
"Ma, why cha named me Feoa" Feoa asked, she was just a wee slip of a thing next to the hulking mass of her Ma.
Her Ma known to the community as as sugar Mama. Was the ver apple of the desirable female. She knew how to cook, clean and delivery babies with great amount of zest and skill. She had a layer of soft blub encasing her hard knotted muscles, giving the illusion of somebody sweet and docile but really she was able to move the meanest outlaw out of her way.
Sugar Mama barely had a nose, just a mosquito bite with two slits in it for nostrils. Her mouth was permanently pursed in a resemblance Feoa had recently notice, of a cats behind. Her eyes were swollen meatball almost popping out of her head making her seem angry of surprised all the time. Her skin was a warm browning lemon and textured as such. Her pot belly stick out more then most and her breast hung to her belly button from years of being a wet nurse to countless children.
Ma didn't bother from turning around from cooking diner " Yar Granny Butt'rBall was the first one to call ya someting, It means ugly in ta old language"
"Ugly?" Feoa repeated devastated. Her blue eyes began to water. " Ma ya really tink I'ms ugly?"
Ma dusted of her stained white apron and eyed Feoa Sternly. "'Course not honey, yer……yer special"
Feoa knew her Ma was lying. A mothers attempt to protect her child from the cold harsh facts of life. She always spoke as if she knew everything about everything. She didn't hesitate or fumble with her words. Feoa didn't say anything about her Ma's fib though. The act itself was confirmation of what her Ma thought.
" Why doncha ya botter Granny Butt'r Ball 'bout it" her Ma dismissed her as she attended back to the cooking.
Feoa sighed, feeling much more depressed with the prospects of the world now that she was ugly. She never thought much about her appearance, nor did she really cared about it. But now that her mother had taken notice, she was ugly.
Feoa glumly hunched through the house trying to look like the pretty girls who had the feminine bump in their back in a graceful arch. Feoa's spine was much to straight to allow this for long without pain.
The floor boards squeaked in their usual manner causing a raucous with all the other boarding in the house of the walls and ceiling. Granny Butter Ball had an ample warning to prepare herself before Feoa came wandering in.
Granny Butter Ball had taken to lazing around in the attic naked during the summer. Her great folds of doughy skin sweating profuse amount of golden grease from her spherical form, hence her title. Often time her Granny didn't bother to get herself decent for Feoa, she just sat queenly like on her little couch that was not nearly big enough to encompass her girth.
She had piercing blue eyes l and silky smooth skin like Feoa. This gave Feoa a certain feeling like she and her Granny were in some kind club. A club that Feoa now knew was ugly.
By the time Feoa peeped in through the crack in the door Granny had manage to drag some blue cotton over her chest like a sash.
Feoa being a child, got right to the point of her visit.
"Granny Butt'r Ball why cha nameded me ugly in da uld speak"
Granny being incredibly old and nearly senile, gave Feoa a straight answer. One of the
reasons that caused Feoa to trust whatever she said out of all the adults she knew.
"Yer looked jast liked one ter ajiants, Whoooooooooooooooooo were day ooooogly."
Her voice was so heavily accent that a stranger would have been barely able to understand a single word that came out of Granny's mouth.
The numerous rolls of fat wobbled franticly on her neck.
"Ajiants? Who da Ajiants?" Feoa asked beginning to suspect that Granny had suddenly decided to lie her.
"Ter Andcestors" Granny's neck fat jiggled.
"Who day?"
Granny thought hard, pressing her eyes closed as all of her fat quivered in concentration.
"Yer gret gret gret gret ter a tousand gret granny and pappy" Granny finally announced.
Feoa didn't know quite what a "tousand" was but she knew it was a lot, more then she could ever count with her fingers and toes and she did have a quite bit of those. Most other children had six fingers and four toes. Feoa had ten fingers and ten toes.
Never the less Feoa was quite impressed with her Granny and would have questioned further if her Granny wasn't so strained. Already she was sweating buckets of butter, completely soaking her couch.
"Tank ya Granny"
Granny Butter Ball waved her off as if she were a gnat, her impossibly small hand flicking off pale sweat onto Feoa's face.