Prologue
January 2004, Wesley's office at Wolfram & Hart
Wesley was sitting at his desk. It was high-stacked with scrolls and books and his eyes were fixed on the one balanced on his knees when the office doors were suddenly pushed open with force.
"Hey, you ready?" Spike bounced inside, black duster surrounding him as per usual, a smirk on his face.
Wesley startled, which caused the book on his knees to clap shut, and let out an annoyed sigh.
"Spike, would you stop bursting into my office like that? Why don't you use your once again corporeal self to knock on the door?"
Spike cocked an eyebrow at Wesley. "Got better things to do with my corporeal self," he replied with a smug smile. "And besides, why should I knock on your door. It's not like you're doing something, say… indecent, is it?"
Wesley remained silent and so Spike continued: "Not here at least. Now, your flat on the other hand…"
"I beg your pardon?" Wesley looked up incredulously.
Spike smirked at the ex-watcher and perched himself on the edge of the desk. "Hey, vampire hearing, remember? The walls in your flat, not that soundproof, all I'm saying."
Wesley sighed again. "Spike, have you ever heard of something called 'privacy'?"
"If you want privacy you shouldn't invite a vampire to stay with you!"
Wesley quirked his lips. "So if I want my privacy I'd rather throw you out?"
"Na, you wouldn't."
Anyone who didn't know Spike all that well would not have picked up on the hint of insecurity hidden in the vampire's casual remark. But Wesley did. He'd come to know Spike quite well over the last few weeks.
"No, I wouldn't," he therefore confirmed.
Spike let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding.
"You can stay as long as you want," Wesley assured.
"Yeah, well, not that I wouldn't enjoy sticking around here torturing Mr. Big Boss Vamp all day and night." Spike smiled slightly.
"Right, like you enjoyed it when you were stuck here as a ghost." Wesley smiled back.
"See now, that was… I was just pissed because… well, it's no fun trying to drive the Poof around the bent when you can't touch anything. Or throw things at him, you know?"
"As I recall you succeeded more than once, Spike. You just have to stay in the same room as Angel to drive him mad."
They smiled at each other briefly and then Wesley turned back to the book on his knees.
"So, what're you doing? Ready to head home?" Spike asked.
"What? No, I am afraid I'm going to stay here quite a while. Today I found this very interesting ancient book. It looks like it is some kind of Minovarian spell book. You know, the Minovarians…"
"Yeah, whatever!" Spike interrupted. "So, you're staying?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Okay, I'm off then!" Spike walked over to the office door, his long black leather coat waving around him. Before he strolled out he turned his head and looked back at Wesley, who had already become absorbed in his book again.
"Hey, Wes?"
The ex-watcher raised his head reluctantly.
"Don't forget to eat again, okay?" Spike couldn't quite successfully hide his concern behind a mocking tone.
"Yes, mother!" Wesley gave back.
The vampire rolled his eyes in return. "For that I'm gonna take your bike!"
With that Spike turned and left the office. Wesley watched him go with a mixture of annoyance and fondness. "Can somebody please tell me why I let this obnoxious creature disturb my oh-so-quiet life?" He sighed and forced his eyes away from the door. Then he shook his head and tried to lead his concentration back to the book. And eventually Spike's face disappeared out of his mind.
Early next morning the door opened and a cleansing woman entered Wesley's office. She stopped in the middle of the dim room when she noticed Wesley hunched up in his chair with his head on the tabletop, sleeping.
"Oh," she whispered and tiptoed backwards to the door. When she had nearly reached it Wesley awoke with a start. He sat up and stretched his arms. Then he noticed the woman in the door.
"Ugh, I'm sorry, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce," the cleansing lady stammered, "I didn't know you were still here…working. I didn't wanna disturb you."
"Never mind, it's okay. But you can spare my office tonight, I'm going to stay here for …the rest of the night."
"Yes, okay, sir. And again, I'm sorry."
Wesley watched her close the door. Then he switched on his desk lamp and glimpsed at his watch. Nearly six in the morning. He sighed and walked over to the large window where he could see his reflection. He looked pale and crumpled with tousled hair and shadows under his eyes. Wesley ran a hand through his hair and whispered: "Another night at the office."
He tried to recall the last time he had spent more than a few hours at home but failed. Since inviting Spike to live in his flat Wesley hadn't spent much time there. And the blond vampire had been staying for nearly three weeks now. Spike had longed to leave the Wolfram & Hart building after haunting it as a ghost. And since Angel continuingly refused to pay Spike, Wesley had taken the stray vampire in before either of them could think twice.
Wesley could imagine Spike at his home now, lying on his couch, watching TV all night, drinking and…well, did he dare to call it brooding? Well, because that was what it looked like after all. Dying to save the world had obviously changed the vampire. Or had it been the bond with Buffy that had made the change? Spike never talked about his relationship with the Slayer but Wesley knew that the vampire loved her. And she must have developed some feelings for Spike, too. Otherwise she wouldn't have seemed so grieve-stricken when she had visited LA after the defeat of the First.
Sometimes Wesley wondered why Spike had not gone after her now that he was back from death and no longer bound to Wolfram & Hart or LA at all. Why didn't he even let her know he was back?
If he'd have gone off to Buffy in Rome, that's where she was currently staying as far as he knew, they could possibly be together…be a couple.
But Spike hadn't left. He had stayed in LA for over two month now, despite the obvious animosity between Angel and him. And if Wesley was honest he was very, very glad about it. He was glad because…
No, Wesley didn't want to think about his relationship with the vampire right now, he had work to do. Not that they had a relationship to think about, mind you. They were allies, co-workers… maybe friends. But nothing more. So, back to work.
The book he had been studying through the night, before he'd gone off to slumber land, had contained a very fascinating spell. If his tired mind had translated it correctly it would be…well, it would turn their whole world upside down. At least Angel's world. And Spike's of course.
Spike, there he was again.
Wesley couldn't help it. All his thoughts seemed to end up at the obnoxious vampire.
Wesley wondered what it was about Spike that fascinated him in a way that made it nearly impossible not to think about him all the time. After all, wasn't he just another vampire with a soul? He had started as an evil being, had terrorised the world and then he had gotten a soul. And now he fought the good fight, well, sort of. Wasn't he simply like Angel 2.0?
"No!" Wesley let out a snort at that thought. Spike was nothing like Angel, absolutely nothing at all. The two of them could not be more opposite.
Wesley turned away from the window and walked over to the small bathroom adjourning his office, a plan slowly forming in his head. He would take a shower (without thinking about Spike) and afterwards he would look for some early breakfast (Spike's mock-concern was still ringing in his ears). He would check on his translation again (again without thinking about Spike) and then he would talk to Angel about the spell.
"Good plan. Period!"
"Are you serious?"
A few hours later Angel looked suspiciously up to the Englishman standing in front of his desk.
"Yes, I am," Wesley answered, "I found the spell within the lot of books we inherited from the 'CGM'."
"The what?"
"The firm Wolfram & Hart took over last week?" Wesley suspected Angel didn't know half of the projects 'his' firm worked on in one time. "Well, anyway. I worked on it all night. The translation of the spell I mean."
"And you're sure about the translation?"
Wesley flinched and walked over to the window. Showing Angel his back he sad flatly: "Yes."
"Absolutely sure?" Angel watched Wesley's shoulders go rigid. He added briskly: "Look, Wes, I don't have to remind you of the tiny mistakes you've made before about some prophecies and stuff, do I? Remember the Shanshu-Prophecy?"
Wesley turned around but watched the floor instead of looking at the vampire. "Yes, Angel. I will not trust in a spell or a prophecy ever again without checking it double and more times. Even without you reminding me of my past failures." He threw an icy glare towards Angel and continued: "So you can be sure, I checked the translation several times, and I had some of my employees take a look at it, too."
"Good, because I don't wanna end up dust when we try the spell!" Angel smiled.
"Wait, we try?" Wesley looked alarmed. "I am not sure this is a good idea, Angel. There's no saying what dangers the spell could create. We need to do more research. Or perhaps we could do some experimenting first. Just to be on the safe side!"
Angel frowned. "You mean like some kind of guinea-pig-vampire?"
"Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind…" Wesley broke off when a noise from outside the office disturbed their discussion. A familiar British voice called: "Hey, sod off, you bloody perk. You can't throw me out of this office, I'm working here!" A different voice muffled something and then they heard Spike continue enraged: "I bloody well know that it's not my office, I don't have a fucking office here." Again the other one spoke. And then Spike's voice rose again: "What? I am not spying on anyone!"
Wesley and Angel listened to Spike's complaints with very opposite feelings. Wesley suddenly felt sorry for the vampire because he didn't even have a place of his own in this large building, well, nowhere exactly. Angel on the other hand pondered the fact that without a miracle to happen he'd most likely have to endure his grandchilde till one of them finally turned into dust. Wait, no!
"Spike?" Angel shouted, "Spike, come in here!"
Angel turned to Wesley with a smirk replacing his normally brooding expression. "You wanted a guinea pig, Wesley?" he asked calmly.
"What?" Wesley glanced at Angel and shook his head. "Angel, no! Not Spike!"
"Why not? He's perfect! He's a vampire. And though I know Spike is not too keen on magic I'm sure we'll be able to persuade him. We have to! He's perfect, there's nothing we have to loose. If the spell works, hey, great. Then I can try it, too. If not…if anything goes wrong…well, it's just Spike, isn't it?"
Wesley couldn't help but stare incredulously. Angel could not possibly mean that, could he? He talked about Spike as if he didn't mean anything at all. He seemed to be totally cool about sacrificing Spike to the unknown dangers of a stupid spell…it sounded much more like Angelus speaking!
Suddenly the door opened and Spike strolled into the office.
"What do you want, Peaches?" he growled.
"Spike, I have a job for you!"
"Too bad I don't work for you then, isn't it?" Spike eyed his grandsire suspiciously. "What job?"
"Well, actually it's less a job and more an offer. It's… a gift you could say."
"Angel, no!" Wesley tried to interrupt.
"Shut up, Wes." Angel growled.
"But…"
"Yeah, shut up, Wes!" Spike repeated. Both vampires ignored Wesley's complaints but stared at each other. Wesley's gaze went from Angel to Spike and finally he gave up.
"Okay, do what you want, both of you!" he said flatly. "But don't blame me if one of you ends up in a big pile of dust!"
With that Wesley turned on his heels and left Angel's office, both vampires looking after him. Then Spike turned around and said:
"So, Peaches. A gift?"
"Yeah, well, Spike," Angel took a deep breath he didn't own. "What would you say if I'd know of a spell that could make you walk in the sun without burning?"
"What?" Spike threw a doubtful glance at Angel.
"Wesley found a spell that allows a vampire to really sustain the sunlight." Angel waited for Spike to say something. When the younger vamp just kept staring into the nothingness, Angel continued: "So you could be able to do whatever you want, to go wherever you want, to…well, anything."
"We." Spike said.
"Huh?"
"We, not me alone. You, too!" Spike looked suspicious. "Why are you telling me this? What do you want from me, Peaches?"
Angel looked like a cornered animal. "Well, consider it a favour!"
"Pfft, bollocks!" Spike snorted, "I somehow doubt that!"
"Okay, let's say if I do you this favour you'll do me another one?" Angel stood up from his chair and walked over to Spike till they almost contacted.
"What. Do. You. Want?" Spike held his gaze.
"I want you out! If the spell works you go. You leave. Not just my office, not just my building. You'll leave my town, too. No LA for you! And you also leave my people alone. No connection to any of them working here." Angel stepped even closer, "Especially Wesley, you leave him alone! Got it?"
Spike stared into Angel's determined face. He was serious, of course, Spike thought. But why had he mentioned Wesley explicitly? He had no special relation to him, had he? Okay, he stayed at his place, but other than that…And what about 'his girl'?
"What about the Slayer?" Spike asked, "does your bloody well-structured order include her as well?"
Angel stepped back from Spike and turned to the window. He smiled slightly when he said: "I'm sure you won't bother her and her finally normal life. If you wanted to you would have been off to Italy by now. I know pretty well that you're too scared to go to her."
"Oh, sod off. I'm not scared!" Spike's voice was sharp.
"No?" Angel turned to face the other vampire. "So how come you're still here? I guess you know pretty damn well that she didn't mean it when she said she loved you!" Angel watched Spike closely. "She never truly loved you, Spike. Not when you two were…together nor when you helped her 'save the world'. And she never will, Spike, she never will!"
Spike looked down. He knew it was true, didn't he? Deep inside, where the bloody soul was hidden, he had always known the truth. And that's why he had stayed in LA, because he had nowhere else to go.
"Oh, and besides," Angel added after a while, "I think Buffy is perfectly able to take care of herself. I'm in no need to make decisions for her."
"Oh," Spike looked up, "but the others aren't capable of making decisions on their own? That's what you're saying?"
Angel suddenly looked guilty.
"Oh, bugger off, Peaches," Spike shouted, "Your people? You don't own them, do you? And Wesley? He would do great without you! If you'd only let him!"
Angel rushed up to Spike and took him by the throat. "What do you mean by that?"
Spike suddenly slammed his elbow into Angel's face. The elder vampire staggered backwards in surprise and let go of Spike.
"Come on, Angel! Do you think I don't know what you fucking did to them? How you manipulated them all to have them stay around?"
Angel looked like a deer in the headlights. "I…" he tried to stutter.
"Save it!" Spike spat and started walking towards the door. "I'm out of it. How could I ever think of us getting along for more than a few sodding days?" He reached the door but turned around to face a stunned Angel once more. "Don't worry about your little secret, Peaches. I won't tell anybody what a poor little cheater you've become! All I want is to get away from here. And if I therefore have to trust in magic then…well, I don't know if I want to, but…nevertheless…I'm out of your hair for good!"
Spike rushed out of the office and stormed along the floor. He tried to calm down and think. To walk in the sun…no, there were always consequences with magic and they were quite never good. It wasn't worth the risk, was it?
But suddenly a small voice crept into his head. It was like the tiny little devil sitting on his shoulder, whispering promises into his ear. 'Think about what it would feel like…the sun! Remember the last time you stood in the warm summer sun with the Gem of Amara on your finger. You didn't enjoy it enough back then, did you? No, all you could think about was…the Slayer! And now? Think about it! Think about the possibilities! You could be with her again, you would be able to share her life, the dark and the light! The light!'
Spike shook his head. But the consequences…
"Oh, bollocks with the sodding consequences!" he murmured. 'Nothing to loose, have I? What is it that holds me back here? Peaches? Sure as hell not!'
With these thoughts fighting back and forth in his head Spike went for Wesley's office. The sooner he could leave this hell the better!
Storming inside without knocking Spike found Wesley once again sitting behind his desk absorbed in a book. The book, the one that held the key to a life in the sun.
And suddenly Spike was determined to try this spell. He rushed up to Wesley, grabbed his arm and growled:
"Okay, let's try this."
"What? No, I won't!" Wesley shook his head and tried to lay down the book he was holding.
"Yes you will!" Spike prompted and increased his firm grip around the watcher's wrists.
Wesley avoided the eyes of the vampire standing in front of him when he muttered: "No, look…it's too dangerous, we don't even know..."
"I take the risk, come on." Spike released Wesley's hands, who put down the book and started pacing through the room.
"Oh, great. Really! If I make a mistake, if I screw it up and something happens to you….it's good to know that it was you who took the risk when I will be the one that got you killed."
"You won't get me killed, pet. I trust you!"
"But…" Wesley tried to reply.
"Wesley, for heaven's sake, stop it! I've made my bloody decision. With this spell I get the chance to change everything. I can watch a sunset not only through shaded windows. I'll be able to walk in the world like you do, every time and everywhere. You are the one thing standing in the way… Look, I want this! So please stop being a sissy and perform the bloody spell. Otherwise I do have to wonder why you fucking hate me that much…"
"I don't hate you! I…" Wesley gulped down the rest of his words before he would confess too much.
"Wesley, I made my choice. And I choose the light."
'Choose the light'…that rang a bell somewhere in Wesley's mind, but before he could think about it any further the vampire added: "And besides, I'm leaving anyway. Whether you'll do it or not, I'm fucking outta here!"
"What do you mean?" Wesley gasped. "You're leaving? Why?"
Spike sighed. The ex-watcher was kind of cute when he looked worried. Wait, Wesley cute? But, anyway, he couldn't stay! Not with Angel the jerk bossing around with anyone's life like he owned them all. He couldn't stand watching it any longer. So he had to go, right? What else could he do? It's not like he could try and change the sodding attitude of the bloody old poof, could he?
Spike looked straight into Wesley's blue eyes and asked: "So. You're gonna do it?"
"Spike…I…"
He let out a final sigh and turned away from Wesley. "It's okay, pet. I'll go and collect my few belongings from your place and then I'm off! Bye, and thanks for letting me stay at your home. It was kinda…nice." He threw one last glance at the Englishman and opened the door.
Wesley watched Spike's departure in frozen terror. 'He's leaving! Do something!'
"Spike!" Wesley whispered. He couldn't let him leave, could he? Not without saying anything, doing anything!
Wesley let out a desperate sigh. If he was going to loose someone important again, and Spike had become very important to him he realized, than he had to at least give him what he deserved, did he not?
He stormed after Spike out of the door and shouted:
"Spike, come back!"
Half an hour later Wesley was standing in his office glancing nervously at Spike. The vampire was pacing in front of him, waiting restlessly for him to start chanting.
"You are absolutely sure about this?" the ex-watcher asked for the umpteenth time.
Spike stopped pacing and threw an annoyed glare towards him.
"Okay, okay. I get it. You're sure." Wesley sighed. "So let's start then."
"Yeah!" the vampire muttered.
Wesley took the spell book from his desk and braced himself. Then he started chanting in a low voice.
"Verungare tanae lipourtis mungae. Com thead lef horumos radiare."
Suddenly a faint blue glow appeared between himself and the waiting vampire. First it looked like a blue pea but then it began to spread and grow very quickly.
Wesley stopped chanting and looked through the blue light at Spike. The vampire threw a worried glance back and asked:
"What the bloody hell is this? Wes? Is this right?"
"I…I assume…" Wesley didn't know what to answer. The glowing had constantly continued to spread and was now starting to encircle Spike.
"Shall I go on, Spike?" he asked.
The vampire shrugged and reached out one hand towards the blue veil between him and Wesley. The second he touched it the blue turned into blinding white.
"No!" Wesley shouted, "Don't touch it!"
But it was too late. The gleaming bubble suddenly surrounded the vampire completely. The light went brighter and brighter and Wesley had to close his eyes to shield them from the blinding light.
Suddenly a loud thunder roared through the room and the bubble exploded in a blazing flash.
"Bloody…"
Wesley heard the vampire's shout cut off in midair and forced his eyes open. His office was empty.
Spike was gone.