*CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM FANG: A MAXIMUM RIDE NOVEL*
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NOTTIN'
SONG: LOVE LIVES ON -- BY MALLARY HOPE
bold is song lyrics
max's dream
max's thoughts
MAX POV:
There he is, that strong, beautiful face I've missed so much. He stands on the edge of the cave ledge, facing me. I let my gaze roam all over, starting with his lean body, moving upwards to his muscular chest and strong arms. His hands are relaxed by his side, still decorated with all the old scars I came to know and love years ago. The smooth line of his broad shoulders and neck make my breath catch but my eyes still drift up to his strong jaw and slightly quirked up lips. His hair is a little long but just as black and soft looking, making my hands ache to run themselves through it, but I finish my oogling by staring into his deep dark eyes. It seems as if time has never even touched them. They hold me captive and I find myself running towards him. He opens his arms and holds me tight, a smile playing on his lips. I bury my face in his shirt and oh gosh, he even stills smells the same. I tilt my face up and lean upward to kiss him...
I wake up with a start, sitting up immediately, panting and gasping for breath, trying to get ahold of myself. I hate that dream. He seemed like he was really there, so real. My heart is racing....Fang.
I reached for you this morning
Woke up with empty arms
Once again it's sinking in
How far away you are
Once my breathing calms some I lay back down, rolling over onto my side, hoping to see him, only to be presented with the ever empty space where he should be. Realization sets in once more about how far from me he really is, and my heart aches.
I still pour two cups of coffee
And tell you all about my dreams
This kitchen's way too quiet
You should still be here with me
I push away the ever present pain and force myself out of bed. I slump into the kitchen and start some coffee. I always make twice as much as I drink, I suppose to give myself the illusion that he's still here with me.
I miss you, so much. Why though? I should hate you for all you did, but I...can't.
I just want you to come back to me.
And even though I cry like crazy
Even though it hurts so bad
I'm thankful for the time God gave me
Even though he couldn't make it last
I'm learning how to live without you
Even though I don't want to
And even with you gone
love lives on
Even with you gone, I'm learning to live through the pain, the sadness, the heartache. But I know a part of me will never be whole again, until I have you back in my arms.
I reach over the counter to turn on the radio on and I start listening to a song that's about a quarter of the way through.
I still call your mom on sundays
It's good to hear her voice
She always tells me that same story
About her stubborn little boy
I wonder if you've found your parents? If you have your probably happy and content, forgotten me. I'll never forget you though, no matter how badly I want to sometimes.
And I kept your favorite t-shirt
You know the one I used to hate
Ain't it funny how it's the one thing now
I just can't throw away
I'm like that with your laptop. I tried breaking that thing so many times that first week, and now I don't think I could even bring myself to drop it. Too much of you is connected to it.
And even though I cry like crazy
Even though it hurts so bad
I'm thankful for the time God gave me
Even though he couldn't make it last
I'm learning how to live without you
Even though I don't want to
And even with you gone
love lives on
As the chorus plays, hot tears begin to course down my cheeks. I stifle the sob that is reaching up my throat with my hand and try to stop. I don't find much success. I cry for a good 10 minutes when I hear the flock waking up.
I have my flock, they need me to be strong. But heaven knows how much I just want to curl in a ball somewhere dark and forget everything.
I wander down the hall to a closed door and lightly push it open. A small sleeping form is splayed out on the twin bed, breathing deeply. I walk over to the dark haired, dark eyed little 3 year old girl and shake her shoulder lightly, waking her.
"Morning mommy" she say softly.
She comes with me on your birthday
Little flowers in her hand
She's always known that somethings missing
But to young to understand
And someday she's going to ask me
What kind of man you were
I'll tell her all the ways I loved you
And all the you I see in her
You should see how much she looks like you. Sometimes it's hard to look at her, the resemblance is so great. When I found out I was pregnant with her, shortly after you left, I knew that she would be my one piece of you I always would always get to keep. She's how I know our love will live on.
And even though I cry like crazy
Even though it hurts so bad
I'm thankful for what god gave me
And she's the perfect way to make it last
I'm learning how to live without you
Baby I don't want you to
But even with you gone
Love lives on