Okay, so I thought the last songfic of this was absolutely terrible so I'm re-writing it. Let's hope this one is a lot better.
Told in Mikayla's POV still!
Thoughts are in italics, actions are normal.
With Nothing But Your T-Shirt On
It's Saturday, the best day of the week. I should be happy, right? There's no school, only a few months until we graduate and yet here I am, sulking around like I just got the flu before the big Senior Blowout Party.
Yet even that would be better than what I'm feeling right now.
I stumble out of my bed in my pitch-black room and downstairs for some cold coffee that I know has been there for a while. My mom always makes it before she goes to work. Seeing the cup ready for me just the way I like it, I put it in the microwave and heat it for a minute.
I know I've been worrying Mom for how I've been acting for the past month.
I like to think of it like this.
What do you do when you go to a sleepover that's supposed to be amazingly fun and carefree and realize that your best friend liked you in a more than platonic way? Better yet, how would you feel if they secretly kissed you and it just so happened to be the best kiss of your damn life and you begged them to tell you it wasn't true on your knees in front of an entire room full of girls? Oh, and get this, what if two days later they left on a yearlong tour along with the blonde mastermind of the plan without even confronting you or leaving a note or anything.
Exactly. 'Just like Hell' with a dash of 'Stupid as Fuck' because I know for a fact why she left.
Because she was afraid. Afraid that she messed up and I feel angered at myself because I made her feel like that. That night at the sleepover, I yelled at her because it wasn't supposed to be her. It was supposed to be Nate. I used to know what I felt.
Now I'd be surprised if I knew who I really am.
I pull out the coffee mug from the microwave and stir it with a spoon so the contents that floated to the bottom aren't still there. My mind is a rush of flowing memories from the day everything started. New Years.
Lilly, Mitchie, Miley and I all went to the Grays' New Year's party. Five minutes before the midnight, Lilly and Mitchie rushed upstairs for a 'talk'. They still weren't back during the countdown. Six seconds before midnight the lights went out and soft lips crashed on mine. From the sounds of it, someone bounced on Miley's lips too and she wasn't complaining.
From then on I paid every bit of attention I had to Nate Gray, my crush at the time. Never did I know that it was actually Mitchie I should have been paying distinct attention to. The day Nate asked me out I was ecstatic. I don't remember why. What I do remember was being scared shitless when Caitlyn gave me a call twenty minutes later saying that Mitchie was in the emergency room. She broke her hand punching a wall. It was Nate's wall. Trust me, you can't ignore that big of a dent. Who knew she had all that muscle?
With that thought I finish my coffee. I rinse it off and then make my way back upstairs to my dark, abysmal room. The stairs get harder and harder to climb every day, I swear.
As I reach the top, the after taste of cream and coffee make me want to hurl so I make my way to the bathroom which was right across from my room. The light is bright and blinding. Looking into the mirror I see what seems to be there for the past month. Sadness, depression, confusion, and anger were all holed up inside. My eyelids are dark and purple because I've hardly gotten any sleep. Ever since she left my internal clock has been out of whack.
That's right. She left.
Lilly and Mitchie both fled on a yearlong tour that Mitchie was doing for 'charity'. Anyone at the sleepover could tell you that that wasn't the real reason she left. I honestly don't blame the two tomboys.
Because Miley and I lied to them.
I lied to her.
I lied to my best friend, Mitchie Torres.
A month before that entire incident I recall that we were at another one of Tess Tyler's sleepover parties. The girls there asked if I would ever date another girl. Mitchie to be exact. I said yes but not all in one sentence.
Two weeks later she met Brittany at a coffee shop that Oliver, Miley's wankster boyfriend, Nate, Caitlyn, Mitchie, Lilly and I all went to. While Mitchie was ordering she looked up and stopped her words, amazement in her eyes. I felt anger because well, that look was only for me. So I did the only thing I could. I kicked her in the shin under the table. My plans worked against me and she went back to the kitchen with her to get some ice. Five minutes later Caitlyn and Lilly went to go talk to the brunette and blonde behind the table.
Going back into my bedroom, I go straight to my computer and find one of the songs I've been playing for the past month. 'T-shirt' by Shontelle. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one who feels like this. As the catchy melody plays throughout my speakers, I sluggishly walk over to my drawer and open it, searching for the soft article of clothing.
"Tryna decide, tryna decide if I
Really wanna go out tonight
I never used to go out without ya
Not sure I remember how to
Upon feeling one different than the others, I take it out and shake it to get off all the possible dust and put it on.
Mitchie's shirt.
It's one of her favorites. It is of darkened trees from Twilight with Paramore's 'Decode' lyrics.
Gonna be late, gonna be late but
All my girls gon' have to wait 'cuz
Don't know if I like my outfit
I tried everything in my closet
Brittany and Mitchie had a thing going on but ended when Mitchie left. I was jealous but I had a boyfriend. I wasn't allowed to be jealous. They never really went out; they were more along the lines of 'friends with benefits'. I was pushed aside. I remember Miley and I tried to sabotage their first date. We ended up ruining our own evening by not theirs.
Nothing feels right when I'm not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choo's
Taking them off 'cuz I feel a fool
Tryna dress up when I'm missin' you
I'mma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay, with nothin' but your t-shirt on, ooh
With nothin' but your t-shirt on, hey
I bury my nose in the shirt and breathe in deep. It still smells like her. My heart plummets and my stomach lurches. It's been doing that ever since she left. As they say, 'Absence only makes the heart grow fonder.'
Gotta be strong, gotta be strong
But I'm really hurting now that you're gone
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping
But I couldn't get past the door and
Now I don't know, now I don't know
If I'm ever really gon' let you go and
I couldn't even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it
That night I humiliated Mitchie in front of everyone, I think that's when I realized it. That maybe, just maybe, she was enough. That being with her was just enough. Just her. Mitchie.
I was so giddy the mere thought of it made me smile so hard my cheeks hurt and I felt like I was on a rollercoaster. Two days later I finally got the courage to go to her house and talk to her.
Imagine my surprise when she wasn't even there.
Well, this is where I've been since then.
Now nothing feels right when I'm not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choo's
Taking them off 'cuz I feel a fool
Tryna dress up when I'm missin' you
I'mma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on
(I'm all by myself with)
With nothing but your t-shirt on, ooh
Every second that passes, I can't stop thinking about her. Do I love her? Unconditionally.
I sniff her shirt again under my covers yet nothing happens like I want it to. She doesn't appear right in front of me like I want her to. My rock star best friend isn't wrapping her arms around me and constantly telling me that she loves me.
I sniff as tears start running down my face as I come to reality.
She's not here.
Now nothing feels right when I'm not with you
With nothing but your t-shirt on
('Cuz I missed you, 'cuz I missed you)
With nothing but your t-shirt on
(Said I missed you, baby)
Tryna decide, tryna decide
If I really wanna go out tonight
I couldn't even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it
I think Miley feels the same way as I do. Oliver was just an excuse to boost her ego. She was single for a long time and I guess she was just lonely.
I laugh as I think that she too was in my predicament. We thought we were in pain. Just imagine what we put Mitchie and Lilly through.
'Cuz nothing feels right when I'm not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choo's
Taking them off 'cuz I feel a fool
Tryna dress up when I'm missing you
I'mma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
I'm in the same situation as I have been for the past month.
Laying down sideways on my bed in the fetal position with Mitchie's shirt on, tears streaming down my face.
Nothing feels right when I'm not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choo's
Taking them off 'cuz I feel a fool
Tryna dress up when I'm missing you
I'mma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
With nothing but your t-shirt on
Said I got nothing but your t-shirt on
('Cuz I want to be close to you)
With nothing but your t-shirt on
(I remember when you would like to see me)
With nothing but your t-shirt on
Near the ending and my sob fest I start to sing along to the last part of the song.
Nothing but your t-shirt on
(Let me tell you now)
Nothing but your t-shirt on
With nothing but your t-shirt on
(Said nothing feels right)
With nothing but your t-shirt on
(Nothing but your t-shirt on)"
One day I'll tell her that I love her.
That I'm sorry for what I told her at Tess' sleepover.
That I made up my mind at that it's her that I want.
But most of all, I'll tell her how I came to that conclusion…
With nothing but her t-shirt on.
*****************************************************
Alright so it's not completely terrible is it? Is it better than the last? Did I do okay?
My god I think I'm gonna have a heartattack!
Tell me your thoughts, yo.