Dochitai Do Sta (Count to One-hundred)

A/N: This fic is to t.A.T.u.'s "Dochitai Do Sta". The original song is in Russian and I have translated it and put the English version in (parenthesis). My mommy helped me! You should thank her if you like it! Please review.

Warning: Shonen-ai, OOC, and no flames, because I don't care what flamers think, but I do care what constructive criticizers think, so that is okay.

Disclaimer: I do not own t.A.T.u.'s "Dochitai Do Sta" or Masashi Kishimoto's "Naruto" or anything affiliated with either.

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The wind blew cold and threw his hair about his face; his ebon locks brushing his ivory face like an archaeologist's brush fighting to preserve a great marble statue of some god whose name has long been lost. Indeed he seemed like a god standing there with his beautiful face being sculpted into my memory. His chiseled body, what was visible, seemed to call to me, and force me to remember those nights, last night, that we spent together. Indeed it was as if this would be the last time I saw him and I felt as if I must soak him up and force his image to be carved into the back of my eyelids. My God, how I wished I hadn't, my God. He opened that mouth, those perfectly pink lips parting to show perfectly whit teeth; why did his parents name him Sasuke instead of perfection, indeed why must his namesake mean 'to cut' instead of something more befitting, much more indicative of his beauty and grace. The words that came out of his mouth taught me why they indeed named him that, for while he was perfection in every sense of the word, his tongue could cut like the sharpest of blades.

"I'm tired of you, of us. I'm done." He spoke softly but the words cut deep. The wound, un-cauterized, began to fester with disease only moments after the infliction.

On skazal: "Ya ustal." (He said: "I'm tired.")

I ego ne vernut'. (And He won't be brought back)

I now lie in bed counting up to one hundred, and sleep just won't come. It has reached the point at which I am wakefully dreaming. I wish I could fall asleep. That way at least when I dreamt of him that deep wound will not fester, and pain me with the memories of just a few days ago.

Ty schitaesh do sta, (You're counting up to one hundred)

Ty mechtaesh usnut'. (You're dreaming of falling asleep.)

I begin to count other people it could have been, that I could have been with instead of him. Maybe by the time I reach one hundred, I will have fallen asleep.

Ty schitaesh do sta, (You're counting up to one hundred)

Sto sluchaynykh imen, (One hundred different names)

I imagine he is asleep by now, dreaming of some other person, some other man or woman besides me. I am beginning to realize that I want no other, stop thinking about him, but there were so may others, so many others to fall in love with.

A tebe nado spat' I ne dumat o nem, (And you should sleep and not think about him)

Such perfection, such beauty, should not be held within hands. Not within hands as impure as my own, and those of the demon that resides inside of me. He was empty, like most beauties are, not in the sense of vapid, but as in a lack of soul. Something was missing or broken inside, something vital. I wanted to fill it, fill it all up with what little love I could give. Beauty is not meant to be smothered, it is meant to be free. Why must all your thoughts go to him?

A tebe nado spat' I ne dumat o nem, (And you should sleep and not think about him)

Sakura says I should take the pills she gave me, or do the jutsu that Gaara does, the one with the forced sleep. She tells me that it will make me not think of him, give me a dreamless sleep, but is that what I want? I must not think of him.

A tebe nado spat' I ne dumat o nem, (And you should sleep and not think about him)

I am left much like he is, empty and lost, in an area of which I have no knowledge of, a ship drifting without navigation towards foreign and undiscovered coasts. Is this how he felt with me? Is this how he felt all of those nights; out of the hundred things that I was to him, was the one thing I though I was the one thing I desperately wanted to be, was that the one thing I wasn't. Lover, did he ever connect that word to me?

Tvoya lodka pusta (Your boat is empty)

U chuzhikh beregov. (Near the alien coasts)

Ty shcitaesh do sta. (Your counting up to one hundred)

I remember he loved to watch the snowfall in twilight hours, how the light would glint harmlessly off the iced-over surface, how the light could not tough the snow, how the snow, the ice, would reflect the other off. Is that what I was, that light trying desperately to pierce his icy surface, only to be ignored, only to be glinted off? Was every moment, ever time I felt love for him simply another snow at dawn?

Sta russvetnykh snegov. (One hundred snows at dawn)

Sakura always claimed I was dense, Sasuke did as well, but I know well what I should do, if I didn't I really would be stupid. I should forget about him, move on. But what I should do and what I will do are two completely different things. Forget him.

Eta tema prosta, (The subject is simple)

Ty zhe znuesh kak byt'. (You know what you should do)

Nado prosto do sta doschitat' I zabyt', (You should count up to one hundred and forget)

There is something about him that is ingrained inside me, like an epitaph, forever chiseled into my soul, my heart, my memories, it is hard to forget someone when every time you close your eyes that is all you see. I never should have tried to memorize him, his beauty, his perfection, and his sharp tongue. He was beautiful, my God he was beautiful, but he was cold and icy and impenetrable, like snow at dawn. I must not remember, the feel, the taste… I must forget him.

Nado prosto do sta doschitat' I zabyt', (You should count up to one hundred and forget)

Iruka always told me forever was a very long time, and that it didn't really exist, so 'I love you forever' is simply a lie. Love and hate are strong words, and often times misused. He also told me, that if you love something you must let it go, grasp it too tightly and you will break it. Did I break him? Did I make him hate me because I loved him? If forever is a lie, then is love, is hate? Is something I cannot grasp tangibly in my hands a lie; was he a lie? Must I forget such a lie for forever, a thing that is a lie forgotten for a period that doesn't exist?

Nado prosto do sta doschitat' I zabyt', (You should count up to one hundred and forget)

NA-VSE-GDA (For-e-ver)

One

I looked around the tiny room.

Two

I had locked myself in.

Three

My leg shifting

Four

What are you doing?

Five

Stop, it's not worth it, or am I not worth it?

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Six

If forever is a lie,

Seven

And I said I would love him forever, and love is a strong word,

Eight

And often misconstrued and misused;

Nine

Then I must not really love him.

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Ten

So therefore I will not have this obsession with him for long.

Eleven

Love is but a fleeting thing.

Twelve

It often flowers for a few short months.

Thirteen

And then wilts away and dies

Fourteen

Everything fades away.

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Fifteen

Much like the exuberance of summer fades.

Sixteen

Away to the wilting death of autumn

Seventeen

And then dies away to the barren wasteland of winter

Eighteen

Will I too waste away?

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred) 4,5,6,7,8…

Nineteen

How long has it been since I have slept?

Twenty

Since he left surely, how long ago, a week, a year, a month, one hundred nights of no sleep?

Sta bessonykh nochey (one hundred sleepless nights)

Twenty-one

How long must I wait

Twenty-two

Until I can find my way from this quagmire, this labyrinth

Twenty-three

Love has always been the hardest emotion.

V labirintakh lyubvi (In the labyrinth of love)

Twenty-four

Damnit, I need those pills Sakura gave me.

Twenty-five

Pulling at the medicine cabinet

Twenty-six

I try to ignore his hair gel

Twenty-seven

What is the key to forgetting him?

Sta sluchainykh klyuchey, (one hundred random keys)

A v itoge nuli (but only zeroes as results)

Twenty-eight

I pull out the medicine

Twenty-nine

A friend or an enemy?

Thirty

Or perhaps both?

Thirty-one

Beware of overdose; take only as instructed by a registered physician.

Sta druzey, sta vragov. (One hundred friends, one hundred enemies)

Sto rastayavshikh I'din. (One hundred melting icebergs)

Thirty-two

The bottle is almost full

Thirty-three

I tip it

Thirty-four

More comes out than expected.

Thirty-five

How many am I supposed to take?

Thirty-six

Two, okay.

Thirty-seven

I tip my head back.

Thirty-eight

Taking the first dose into my mouth.

Thirty-nine

These pills are huge

Forty

I slip the second dosage into my mouth.

Forty-one

I lay on the bed hoping for once to just forget.

Forty-two

I begin to feel heavy.

Forty-three

As if everything is weighing down on me at once.

Forty-four

A numb feeling settling in

Forty-five

Starting at my toes it crept its way up my body.

Forty-six

I felt detached, away.

Forty-seven

His face was the only thing I could see.

Forty-eight

Then I closed my eyes.

Forty-nine

And there was nothing.

Zabyvai pro nego, 101,101 (Be forgetting about him, 101, 101)

Fifty

Naruto? Naruto?

Fifty-one

Open the door!

Fifty-two

Sakura crashed through the door.

Fifty-three

Naruto! She made her way to the bedroom.

Zabyvai pro nego, zabybay navsegda, (Be forgetting about him, forgetting forever)

Fifty-four

She observed the almost obsessive photography of Sasuke on the walls, the Uchiha symbol also appeared frequently.

Fifty-five

She reached the bedroom door and knocked softly.

Fifty-six

Then a bit louder she knocked

Fifty-seven

Then she finally called out. Naruto?

Zabyvai pro nego, zabybay navsegda, (Be forgetting about him, forgetting forever)

Fifty-eight

Her hand on the door, she swung it open

Fifty-nine

Her eyes darted, from what seemed to be a sleeping Naruto,

Sixty

To the pill bottle on the bedside table.

Sixty-one

She looked at the bottle, recognizing it as sleep medicine that she had given him.

Sixty-two

'He must be asleep.' She thought as she reached for the bottle to put it back up.

Sixty-three

It was too light, there were only twenty pills left.

Sixty-four

She had prescribed one hundred twenty, exactly one hundred pills were missing.

NA-VSE-GDA (For-e-ver)

Sixty-five

She reached over, 'Oh, please don't let him have taken that much.'

Sixty-six

She shook him, "Naruto?"

Sixty-seven

Surely he was alive.

Sixty-eight

She reached for his wrist.

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Sixty-nine

No pulse.

Seventy

It seemed as if her scream pierced the surrounding air.

Seventy-one

Suddenly people surrounded her.

Seventy-two

Her broken sobs and whispers.

Seventy-three

The only sound breaking through.

Seventy-four

"No pulse, he's dead."

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Seventy-five

His name had always seemed strange to her.

Seventy-six

Naruto, like a fishcake.

Seventy-seven

Surely his name should be much more boisterous.

Seventy-eight

Never until now had she thought about the alternate meaning.

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Seventy-nine

Naruto, whirlpool.

Eighty

Uzumaki, spiral.

Eighty-one

Strange how just as his namesake implies.

Eighty-two

He would keep you spinning.

Eighty-three

So you never quite knew where you stood

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Eighty-four

She looked at the pill bottle that had killed her friend.

Eighty-five

The pill bottle that she had prescribed.

Eighty-six

She had killed him.

59,60,61,62…

Eighty-seven

The crescendo of her heart when she had pushed against his chest

Eighty-eight

In a vain attempt to get him to come back.

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Eighty-nine

She saw Sasuke then, a few months later.

Ninety

He asked where Naruto was.

Ninety-one

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Ninety-two

"Who prescribed him the medication?! Why?!" He had screamed in a fury

Ninety-three

He couldn't sleep, he wouldn't eat, he was only supposed to take two at a time every night.

Ninety-four

I hadn't known, I hadn't know.

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Ninety-five

"You killed him, Sakura!"

Ninety-six

I didn't. I finally realized this. It took me months to do so.

Ninety-seven

She whispered those words that Naruto had spoke to her only a few months ago. They seemed almost meaningless to her at the time.

Doschitai, doschitai, doschitai do sta (so count, count, count up to one hundred)

Ninety-eight

"He said: I'm tired, and he won't be brought back."

Ninety-nine

Sasuke turned on her, hatred spitting in his eyes. "You administered medication to a distraught patient."

"Who's fault was that Sasuke? Whose fault! You killed him! You did. It eats you up inside doesn't it! You left for something that didn't exist and it killed Naruto, now it's killing you slowly from the inside."

Sasuke looked at her blankly, his eyes the only part of his body in which fury was evident. "Chidori!" With the chirping of a thousand birds Sakura died. He found a pill bottle with twenty pills in it, and choked them down; the ANBU arrested him.

One hundred

He fell asleep in his cell and never woke up again.

Doschitai, Doschitai. (So count, count up)