Tyrant

Watching myself when

I'm taking strides but here comes the moon

And it feels and it feels

What does it feel like? I wonder to myself, picking up my crown, feeling its plastic sticks touching my bare skin. The floor is cold and hard, the house incredibly drafty all around me as I stand in my bedroom.

I walk to the window, push it open and look out over the snow. My eyes are focused, and then they're not, they glaze over and close. My chin droops to my chest.

Like an informer

Quick run away hide

Before they see you,

You know it is all, all a glow

I look up again, back at the moon and the answer comes to me with a gust of cold winter wind. I turn and walk back across the room as quietly as I can. The doorknob touches my palm and it is cold just like everything else. I pull the door back and it makes no sound.

Walking on water

Seems perilous

Silently, I walk down the hall, listening for any small sound from their room. If they know I'm awake, I really will end up at military school. I won't have another chance to do this. My feet step onto the carpet, in the hall outside the drawing room, but it still feels cold and hard. Maybe everyone feels this way at one point, I wouldn't know.

I enter the drawing room, still silent, and walk to the desk. I've always known where he keeps the key and I find it with no difficulty. I stare down at it, watching as the moon shines off the small silver object. Then I insert it into the keyhole and turn it, very slowly. There is no click, no sign to tell me that it has worked, but I pull the drawer open anyway.

Now you got my trust

And it feels, and it feels

Like sabotage

Never before now have I understood why people do what I am about to do. As I pull the small, but heavy and deadly object from the drawer and lay it on the desk I know why. But at the same time, I think as I unwrap the cloth, I feel like I'm going to mess everything up.

I start to shake as I place the end to the left side of my head. My entire body quivers and I feel the cold touch of metal to my skin. I start to think uncontrollably back on everything I can remember. It's so vivid, literally filling my vision with memories.

I see Welton, the school I thought I hated until just a few short hours ago. I wave good-bye to my parents as they pull away from me my very first year at the school, seventh grade.

"Hey I hear we're gonna be roommates. I'm Neil Perry." I think of Todd.

Todd. Todd and Charlie, and Knox.

When I'm pulling

Triggers back on myself.

You know it is all I know,

Is all I know.

There is no sound.

And it feels so real from the outside looking in
And it feels so real from the outside
From the out

My head jerks sideways and I open my eyes. I'm shivering, shaking violently as I stand before the window in my bedroom. This is why everything was so cold, and why I started to shake. I have been standing here and I didn't know it. My hand rests on the windowsill, which is cold, just like everything else. My head is leaning against the side of the window. That's what I felt, but I didn't know what it was.

I stand straight and pull the window back down, blocking out the cold. The sound has come back. I have been dreaming, that was why all the memories were so real. I walk to my bed, hearing the sound of my feet on the floor. I pull my pajamas over myself.

I can't leave them, Charlie and Knox, Pitts and Meeks, and Todd. I will tell my father what I feel, and if he doesn't listen then I'll, well…I don't know what I'll do, but, it won't be what I just dreamed about.

From the out tyrant
Tyrant tyrant

Disclaimer: I own not the song, OneRepublic or the dead poets. Darn3

AN: Just a few things here. 1 is that I'm really cold right now too, which is weird. 2 is that this scene in the movie is called "Neil's Dream" so he's dreaming(teehee how clever) and 3, did you know it was a dream the whole time because I was going for the idea that you didn't and if you knew it was a dream, then I'm just not as cool as I thought I was. Oh well. 4 is that yes I guess you could consider this a mildly slashy fic if you insist, but that would totally make Neil a megapimp and somehow I don't see that.

If you like, you should totally tell me what you think of the oneshot, I don't do many of these and this is my first songfic (which is the other thing, I didn't use the entire song.) I know the ending is abrupt, and now I think about it, I could do a second chappy, but (ahh!) I don't know, you should just review!!  Thank you!