October 22nd, 1952
Paid leave; two words every soldier wanted to hear! After a year of active duty, everyone in the initial wave who had gone into Aerugo had plenty of it. Other than the ceremony they were having that afternoon to honor the Amestrians who had returned home, Edward had no other responsibilities for, well, pretty much as long as he could want.
They had only been home for two days and already Ed felt overwhelmed and a little lost in it all. He had gotten used to having Alphonse around again all the time but his brother was spending all of his time with his wife and daughter, as he ought to. The one time he had talked to Al on the phone since they got back his brother had sounded happier and more relaxed than he had at any point in Ed's recent memory.
Sara had come over for dinner the night before, and it had been a subdued but reasonably comfortable family gathering. Ed had done his best not to make things awkward, and Sara had politely not asked about anything personal. Mostly it was Ethan who talked. He was the only one of the three who didn't have a war story to tell, though Winry had several about people that had been helped. Ed suspected she talked to help fill the empty spaces. He wished she would just let the silences be.
His daughter was absorbed in other things too, he knew, and he expected that most of Sara's leave would be spent with Franz Heimler. Ed was no longer the primary man in his daughter's life. Like all fathers, he had been replaced when he wasn't looking. He had been expecting it, encouraged it even, but that didn't make it hurt any less.
Ethan seemed the least changed, but even he was not the same as when Ed had left. He was independent, confident, and so far ahead of the rest of his class in school that Ed wouldn't have been surprised to hear he would finish even earlier than expected. Ethan was his match in height now. It was kind of a relief that his son still wrote Lia regularly and didn't seem to have any local romantic interests. At least it was one constant in a world that seemed to have lost the rest.
Or maybe it was just him. No matter what Ed did the last couple of days, he seemed out of synch with everyone else. If he held a door for Winry, she insisted that she could get it herself; she wasn't an invalid despite her injury. Any attempt to be helpful around the house seemed to be taken as a sign of agitation or placation.
"You're trying too hard," Winry told him that morning when he made breakfast and cleaned the kitchen. "You don't have to do anything special, Ed. I told you we're okay."
Ed lost his appetite at that point. He wasn't going to get into it with her. Arguing wouldn't help and he knew everyone was still wound tight and stressed out. He let it be.
Now he stood on the parade grounds of Central Headquarters on a stage in front of thousands of guests and the soldiers that remained of his command, as well as the others who had come home with Armstrong and Kane. His dress uniform was stiff, not nearly as comfortable as the one he had worn for the past year, and a little loose. Not that he was the only one to come home from the war lighter than he'd left. It hadn't exactly been a cushy assignment.
Alphonse stood to his left, in a uniform just as freshly pressed, his hair once more trimmed up neatly the way he usually kept it. Brewster stood to the left of his brother. On Ed's right stood Armstrong and Kane. Rehnquist was still in Aerugo for another few months. Behind them their subordinate officers were arrayed neatly, and other than haggard faces and loose uniforms, they looked as polished as any group ought to on the parade grounds.
Ed felt like a complete idiot. He didn't feel like a hero. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't one. Not this time. Too many people had died when Ed wasn't convinced they actually had to, and for a cause Ed now doubted. His heart weighed heavy, and he knew it would be a long time before he could look at this whole mess with any objectivity.
He spent most of the ceremony noticing the changes in his colleagues, though he paid some attention to Breda's speech. It was about what he expected; words of thanks for risking their lives in the defense of innocent people and over-throwing a tyrant government. Fortunately the speech was short. Breda wasn't known for being long-winded, and Ed was grateful.
Then came the longer part of the ceremony, the one Ed really could have done without; as a large number of the officers – starting with himself and the rest of the Command – received commendations, medals, and in a few cases promotions. Alphonse didn't object – though Ed suspected he would have in private – to being made a Lieutenant General. Ed was sure that Roy and Riza were bursting with pride when Maes was finally promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. He felt his own heart swell when he watched Breda make Sara a Colonel. Kane caught his eye in that moment with an I told you so glint in his eye. Ed's daughter deserved it and he was proud of her. A whoop in the audience was almost certainly Franz, and Ed knew that Winry and Ethan were down there in the crowd near the front, though he didn't glance in their direction.
When it was over the officers, their families, and the Assembly adjourned inside for a reception that Ed would have preferred to skip. The new medals on his jacket irritated him but Ed put on a good face, smiling and thanking anyone who approached for their kind words and accepting their gratitude as graciously as he could manage. What he wanted was just to see old friends and talk like they used to, not all of this drama.
He finally got his wish as he stopped by the drinks table for another glass of champagne. He wasn't really fond of the stuff, but it was all they were serving. Ed picked up a glass and turned to find Roy standing next to him. "Was it like this after Ishbal?" Ed couldn't help asking.
Roy's expression blanked for a moment and Ed wanted to hit himself. He was out of practice at being conversational. "Just like this," Mustang replied quietly, taking a sip of his own drink.
Ed could tell by his tone that Roy understood what he really meant. "So when does the feeling of hypocrisy go away?"
Roy smirked. "When it happens I'll let you know."
The real answer: never. Ed hadn't really expected anything different. It was time to change the subject. "So how's the Lieutenant Colonel taking his promotion?" They both knew Maes probably would have been promoted a couple of years ago if he hadn't screwed himself over.
"In a bit of a daze," Roy chuckled, gesturing toward one corner with the hand that held his glass. Ed followed the line and saw Maes with most of the younger officers, Elena on his arm, beaming with pride. "Fortunately Elena has him well in hand." Ed glanced back at Roy. There was a light there; a lack of strain, relief. Ed knew Roy had been in the War Room with Breda and Brahm through most of this so far, but it seemed to have revived him instead of worn him down. Ed wondered what the difference was that made it this way. Roy, at least, might still believe in the cause that had sent Ed to Aerugo in the first place. Right now he would do nothing to disillusion his friend of that.
"She does have a way with him," Ed agreed instead with a chuckle. "Of course, she was an ambassador's daughter. She seems very at home doesn't she?"
"As Maes rather emphatically insisted, she is home," Roy chuckled. "Surprisingly, he actually listens to her too."
"Good," Ed smirked. "Then hopefully she can help keep him out of trouble."
"Or succeed despite the odds," Roy replied, his expression softening slightly. Ed suspected he was thinking of Riza.
"That too," Ed nodded. Roy was lucky. Riza had stood beside him for years, and that was a large part of why Roy had succeeded in everything he did. He smirked. "So are you drinking that or just gesturing with it," he nodded to Roy's almost untouched glass of champagne.
The Flame Alchemist smirked knowingly. "I'm keeping up appearances."
That's what this was all about after all, wasn't it? After he finished chatting with Roy, Ed drifted for most of the reception. He went from small group to small group, but never really engaged in deep conversation. It was all such a waste of time and money but it was good for the morale of the State. Maybe if Ed kept telling himself that enough he could stomach it a little longer.
"Ed!" Breda smiled as he made his way through the crowd, having apparently extricated himself from some rather boring conversation. There were a lot of those when dealing with Assemblymen. They wanted to make everything about politics. His old compatriot looked pretty good considering he was the head of an invading nation and Ed knew how tough the last year had been. There was less red in his hair, but he looked like he'd slimmed down a little more since Ed had left too. The man would never be lean by any stretch of the imagination, but apparently he was doing all right without his workout partner – that or Nancy just kept on to him that efficiently. "Having a good time?" Breda asked him.
"Do you want the truth?" Ed asked warily. He didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings, but he wasn't sure how politick he could be or for how much longer.
Breda's smile lessened just slightly but he shrugged. "Judging from your expression a minute ago I'd guess you would rather be eating glass, but that's just an assumption."
Oh good, at least Breda didn't feel this was anything more than a dog-and-pony show either. Or at least, he wasn't offended that Ed wasn't having fun. "You wouldn't be far off from the truth," he admitted with a shrug. "You know I don't like these kinds of social events."
"I know," Breda nodded. "That's why I wanted to thank you for putting up with everything today. It means a lot to the people here and to the men."
"Yeah, I'm sure watching you pin medals on the guy who led their buddies to their graves is a real crowd pleaser." Ed sipped from his glass then cringed as Breda's expression changed. Shit, he'd done it again. "Sorry." Maybe it would just be better if he left.
Breda sighed. "You know that's not how they see you; any of you. Not that I expect you to believe me," he shrugged. "I only read the reports that get sent to me."
"Yeah, well, you could be a little timelier about passing information down the line next time," Ed replied gruffly. There was one thing that had annoyed him all this time.
"What do you mean?" Breda didn't look like he'd gotten the hint.
"You could have warned me that Winry was in Aerugo," Ed replied flatly. "All that time I thought she was safe at home." He didn't mention the fight.
"I'm sorry, Ed," Breda seemed earnestly apologetic as he realized the problem. "By the time we were back in regular contact, it didn't occur to me that you didn't know. I really figured someone else would have told you by then."
"Well no one did," Ed shook his head. "Not you, not Roy. The only official word came from Elicia and that was after Winry was all the way down in Bueáire." He looked across the room where Winry was talking with Alphonse and Elicia. "Let's improve communication lines next time shall we?"
"Hopefully there won't be a next time," Breda shook his head. "I'm hoping it won't take more than another few months to quash the fighting and turn the whole thing over to the politicians."
"Can we talk about something else?" Ed interrupted. He knew he was being rude, but right now Aerugo was the last thing he wanted to talk about.
"Right, sorry," Breda chuckled. "Bad habit. Enjoy your leave while you get it, Ed. Frankly I'm jealous. I'd love to take a break from all of this. Loosen up okay? There will be plenty of time to scowl and be miserable when you get back to work."
"Makes me so eager to get back," Ed retorted.
"I'm sure it does," Breda shrugged and turned to go. "Oh, and don't forget everyone's got to talk to the counselors before the end of the week. We want to make sure everyone came back in one piece up here too," he tapped his forehead and headed off again.
"Right, I won't," Ed sighed. As if he could ever forget. He never liked talking to the psychiatric counselors that the State employed specifically to keep on eye on the minds of their employees. Oh he didn't have a problem with them really anymore, but he still didn't enjoy sharing private problems and feelings with people he didn't know very well. He hated being psychoanalyzed. At least this time he had come out of the situation relatively sane compared to the Xing War. The nightmares were there of course, but no flash backs so far, no panic attacks, and he was getting some sleep at night. He was functional and while he wasn't cleared for full sparring duty for teaching yet thanks to his still-healing stomach muscles, there was nothing really that should keep him from being able to resume his duties with the State Alchemy Program whenever he felt like it.
While Ed wasn't sure exactly when he would want to get back to work, he knew it wouldn't be too long. He had never been one for sitting still and doing nothing, especially not after spending a solid year on the move. The train ride had made him jittery enough. Ed knew it was only a matter of time before his reflexes settled back down. Bueáire and the relative safety of the Embassy had been good for his nerves. At least in that he wasn't flinching constantly at small noises, expecting to be shot at in any given moment. Cars backfiring made him look, but Ed had been a fighter since childhood; awareness of his surroundings was nothing new.
They stayed later than Ed wanted, but that was mostly because Winry was obviously having a better time than he was and Ed still felt guilty about how things had turned out. Ed needed to find a real way to apologize for going off knowing how Winry felt and assuming she would be here waiting patiently like she used to. He had forgotten how badly it hurt to constantly worry about losing someone, how he had felt when Winry almost died years back. Knowing she was in Aerugo and could be killed reminded him of that, and that only piled on the guilt. After all, she felt that way every time he went off into danger. Ed had to find a way to make it up to her. He just wished he knew how.
October 28th, 1952
It was an awkward and frustrating week for Winry. She couldn't get over to Rockbell Auto-Mail on her own to check on things because she couldn't drive with her ankle still bandaged and aching. While she wanted to take a little time off and spend it with her family, she wanted to deal with making sure everything had gone all right in her absence first.
Edward volunteered to drive her over. At first, Winry thought nothing of it, but as the week went on she couldn't help but feel that Ed was acting out of character. Not that he wasn't a giving person, but it was almost too much. He took her anywhere she wanted, cleaned, cooked, anything she wanted and a few things she didn't.
When she tried telling him she didn't really need the help – she was capable of doing some things on her own – he got the strangest expression on his face. It reminded her of the face she usually saw on a puppy after someone kicked it. Not that it lasted more than a moment. Ed simply apologized and left off folding the laundry. Winry felt bad. He was only trying to be helpful and she was sure it was his way of apologizing, but it just felt strange. It wasn't like doing chores could wipe away the emotional pain she was still dealing with; not that she didn't appreciate the gesture.
That was Thursday and after that Ed seemed to get the message. Other than his usual share of things around the house, he seemed to relax a little. That was good. It gave Winry something to do! She liked mindless chores sometimes when she wanted to think about other things, or to simply lose herself in a task that didn't require a lot of attention. During the day Ethan had school and while Ed didn't have to be at work he didn't seem much inclined toward conversation either.
After a year in constant interaction with a lot of other people in a hostile situation, Winry couldn't really blame him for that. So she let him be when he vanished into the alchemy workshop, or went outside on the back porch, or went for a walk. He was contemplative and clearly had a lot to sort out. When he wanted to talk he would come to her. He always did.
For her part, Winry was actually glad for the counselors employed by the military and its hospital. She'd had a wonderful conversation with one of them on Friday that had been a real relief. As much as she talked to Elicia and even Riza, it was nice to talk to someone who could often explain to Winry why she felt the way she did when she couldn't figure it out for herself and also wasn't going to let anything slip that Winry didn't want shared. It was a job Winry had done for others, and it was a relief to know that her frustrations were normal.
So she waited. On Saturday she suggested that the three of them – Ethan included – could go to the movies or maybe just take a walk in the park and have a picnic. Edward hadn't been rude about it, but he begged off. He wasn't in the mood for public places and having to be nice to people he didn't know who came up to talk to him. That had happened earlier in the week, so Winry understood. Still, it was disappointing. She didn't want to push him, but she wanted to talk; to be there for him the way he used to let her, and hopefully get support in return. Well, perhaps tomorrow.
Sunday morning she woke up with a splitting headache and feeling mildly light-headed. It happened occasionally so Winry didn't think much of it. She simply got up and went about the day. Ed was still sleeping in the guest room; to keep from bothering her since he was still having trouble sleeping, he said. So it wasn't until she got downstairs that Ethan informed her Ed had gone out early for a run. Ed didn't come back until it was almost time for lunch. Winry was sitting at the table reading a book when he got home.
For once, Ed looked like he was actually in a good mood. He was grinning, and his t-shirt was darkened with sweat as he came into the kitchen and filled a large glass with water.
"How was your time, Dad?" Ethan asked curiously as he pulled bread and the other fixings for sandwiches out of the pantry and refrigerator.
"Twenty-five minutes," Ed replied, coming back into the room and leaning against the wall as he drained the glass in a few gulps. "Not my best five miles, but not too bad considering." He glanced over at Winry and chuckled. "Still in your pajamas at this hour?"
"Is there a law against being comfortable on a Sunday morning?" Winry asked, trying not to sound as agitated and tired as she felt. There was no use complaining after all.
"Well, no," Ed shrugged. "I'd just got of forgotten what you look like in the morning."
"What does that mean?" Sure, Winry had been up and dressed for the day before coming downstairs this week, but the tone in his voice made her wonder what he was inferring. It was odd for Ed to bother inferring anyway.
Ed's smile faded a little. "Nothing; It was just an observation. Sheesh, don't get touchy about it."
She was really not in the mood for games. Winry put her book away and walked past Ed into the kitchen to help Ethan with lunch. "If your run only took twenty-five minutes what took you all morning?" she asked as she made her own sandwiches.
Ed shrugged and stood there, watching. "I decided to put in a full workout. Doc Gray said on Friday I should be all right for it as long as I didn't push too hard."
"I take it you survived," Winry quipped as she finished making one sandwich and started on the next.
Ed smirked and kept watching. "You know," he said after a minute. "You could always come with me sometime."
"Me?" Winry chuckled, eyeing him. "Be serious."
Ed's contemplative look turned immediately into a scowl. "I am. What's wrong with the idea?"
"For one thing, I can't run five miles," Winry pointed out. Especially not right now with her ankle. Fortunately she had been able to finally get rid of the crutches as long as she went easy on it.
"That's because you never try," Ed snorted. "It just takes a little effort to get in decent shape."
Winry paused, quashing the irrational urge to fling mayonnaise in his face. "Are you suggesting that I am not in decent shape?" She watched him out of the corner of her eye as she went back to work. Ethan finished making his sandwiches and ducked out of the kitchen like a squirrel on fire.
The smirk returned. "I don't know. It's hard to tell under the robe." Which could mean just about anything; Winry hated it when he dodged questions with sarcasm. It stung too. Ed had never been overly critical of her before. She picked up her food, put it on a plate, and walked out of the kitchen right past him "Hey, don't I get one?" Ed objected, looking surprised as she sat down and began to eat.
Winry didn't even look in his direction. "Men who criticize make their own food." Ethan wisely had his mouth full and said nothing. Winry couldn't see Ed's reaction, but he was sure there was frowning involved, and likely him trying to quash his temper. If he had been going to lose it, he would have already. The air behind her almost seemed to warm.
"You don't have to get so defensive about it," Ed finally replied, sounding disgruntled. Then she heard him cross the kitchen and start making his own food, mumbling under his breath. "It'd be nice if you left something for the rest of us," he complained after a minute.
Winry just rolled her eyes, and Ethan looked sheepish. "That was me, Dad," he came to her defense.
"Well it'd help if you remembered your manners," Ed growled. Ethan didn't seem particularly fazed, but the attitude was really getting on Winry's nerves.
"It would help if you remembered yours," she snapped.
Ed appeared to her right and sat down at the other end of the table in his usual spot. "Fine. Would you please kindly remember that you're not the only person who eats in this house?" He bit into his sandwich. Winry noted Ed was the only one with only a single sandwich on his plate. Though she was sure there was enough in the kitchen for a second.
"You can have more," she offered, despite the fact that her headache was pulsing and what she really wanted to do was smack him for acting stupid. "It's not rationed."
"Well maybe if it was there wouldn't be a problem," Ed countered.
"That's enough," Winry glared at him down the length of the table. "If you've got something you want to say, Edward, than do it. I'm sick of this inference song and dance routine."
"Is this about the robe thing?" Ed frowned in confusion. "You're so touchy. It was just a comment."
"Is that how you talk to your subordinates, Edward?" Winry really wanted to know, "Because I'm not one of them, and I don't have to salute and agree with you or take your criticism."
"Who ever said you did?" Ed asked, standing up. "Look, if you don't want to than just say no. I'm sorry I asked. Excuse me, I've lost my appetite." With that he turned and just walked out of the room.
Winry watched him go and her heart sank. She was still mad, but that hadn't been the reaction she expected either. Usually, she knew how to read Ed and what he was going to do. Right now, she just wasn't sure what to make of him.
Now how the hell had that gone wrong? All Ed had wanted to do was see if Winry wanted to do something with him. He had suggested working out because he knew she enjoyed being outside in the fall and, well, while he was working back up to his usual level it would be nice to have someone along to keep him company. He'd felt bad about turning her ideas down too.
But when he tried, she turned it back on him and got defensive. Well fine, if that was how she wanted it, Ed didn't see much point in staying home even another week. He wasn't going to relax at home. Headquarters was waiting whenever he wanted to go back and tomorrow seemed like a good time.
Ed grabbed his jacket and pulled it on over his running clothes as he headed out the front door. He didn't really care that the sweat was barely dried underneath it. He'd pushed himself earlier and he was pretty pleased with the results. It felt good to get out and be active. Why didn't Winry want to share that with him?
He hadn't meant to make her upset. Once more his mouth had betrayed him. It was definitely time to get back into something he was good at; that he didn't have to think about to get right. But for the rest of today, he would find something else productive to do, or at least distracting. Briefly Ed wondered if maybe Alphonse wanted to do something, but he immediately decided not to bother his brother. Al didn't want to hear Ed gripe about how moody Winry was lately.
Instead, Ed headed in the general direction of downtown. Maybe Brewster or one of the other guys would be interested in doing something this afternoon. It would give Winry time to cool down, and they could both just get over it and pretend it never happened.
It was a beautiful evening and the sunset over the red and gold leaves of the trees outside the restaurant window was so perfect it could have been painted. Sara could have remained captivated by it until full dark if it weren't for the easily distracting smile of Franz sitting across from her.
It wasn't the first time Sara had been in this particular restaurant, but it was a rare occurrence. It was one of the nicer places in Central. Sara had been surprised when Franz told her the venue for tonight's date, but he had insisted that her promotion to Colonel deserved a proper celebratory event!
Given how much she liked the place – and Franz – Sara hadn't taken much convincing. Though she had found it a little odd to get properly dressed up in an actual dress instead of her uniform. She had taken longer getting ready than usual, and Franz had chuckled as he watched her primp in the mirror.
"If I'm going out in polite society, I should at least look like I belong there," Sara had replied with a roll of her eyes.
Now she was glad she had gone to the effort. Despite Franz's teasing, he obviously appreciated the outcome. Sara didn't dress up very often after all. At least not in any way she might consider feminine; for her dress usually meant uniform.
But Franz never seemed to take his eyes off of her. At least, not after they had ordered wine and food. When the wine came, he toasted her with a grin. "To the loveliest Colonel Amestris is ever likely to see."
Sara chuckled and sipped. "I think I'd rather be the most efficient or qualified or something," she admitted afterwards.
Franz laughed quietly. "You may well be both of those as well, Belle. Though I think you'll disagree with me when I say dinner's not nearly enough of a congratulation." He began to fish in his pocket.
"You're right," Sara agreed. "I think this is more than enough."
"Well I got you a little something anyway," Franz laughed as he finally managed to pull the item in question out and held it out.
Sara's heart nearly stopped. It was a small golden ring, simple enough, save for the fact that set low in the center was a nicely sized, deep blue sapphire with a small diamond set on either side of it. She was about to open her mouth to thank him when Sara caught the look in Franz's eyes, and the words died on her lips. "Is that…"
Franz nodded, grinning as he caught her left hand up in his before she could sit back. "It is."
"Are you—?"
"I am." His expression softened. "We've known each other for over eleven years, Sara. We've been comrades in arms, pen pals, friends, and lovers. Through-out all of that you've always been there when I needed someone. You never let your emotions or your needs get in the way of my happiness, and I tried to do the same for you. The truth of it is – we both failed, and I've never been so glad of failing in all my life." His dark eyes held her gaze, and Sara thought her heart might explode it was pounding so hard in her chest. "This past year I learned something important. I'm not complete without you, and I haven't been for a long time. You're an incredible person and I'd be a fool to let you slip away. Sara, please tell me you'll do me the honor of becoming my wife."
She didn't squeal loudly in the restaurant, though only through sheer strength of will. Sara did, however, lean over the small two person table and pull Franz across by his tie and give him a very affirmative kiss! "Nothing would make me happier," she assured him as he slipped the ring onto her hand. The entire world seemed to be whirling as she looked at it; absorbing the reality of the fact that she was engaged to the man she had been dreaming about for over a decade. "It's absolutely beautiful."
"I had them inset so that you could wear it with your uniform," Franz admitted with a chuckle. "It won't catch on anything."
Sara laughed. "Practicality and beauty, I like it."
"So do I," Franz smiled and Sara flushed again. He wasn't referring to the ring.
"Do I want to know what you paid for this?" Sara asked as they waited for their food.
The never-fading grin on her fiancé's face grew cheeky. "Half the money I saved this year by not taking you out on dates."
Sara shook her head. "And what did you do with the other half?" she teased.
Franz shrugged. "Hey, I didn't say I didn't go out to eat!"
"Oh, you!" Sara swatted his arm in revenge. "Should I be checking around to find out if you were busy while I was gone?"
"If you like," Franz replied, catching her hand in his again before she could pull back. "I think you'll find I've been subversively planning this romantic evening for months."
"Well you did a very good job," Sara admitted. She felt like she was floating, or glowing, or both. She had known that he might propose at some point from the tone of his letters, but she had never expected anything so soon! "You definitely surprised me."
:"That was the hope," Franz was obviously pleased that he had actually managed to catch her off guard. He looked as deliriously happy as Sara felt, and she almost wished they could just skip dinner and go someplace more private, but she was hungry too and it would be a shame to waste all that effort. "I'm glad you're home, Sara. I was terrified that I'd wake up one morning and find that I had lost you."
"Well I've got news for you," Sara beamed back at him. "From here on out you can wake up and find me instead."
November 1st, 1952
There had been times when Edward hated the feel of Central Headquarters, but today it was almost like returning to the home of an old friend. After a year in it, his uniform felt surprisingly comfortable, and he had figured that on his first day back he should probably go ahead and look official.
He got a very surprised look from Miriam Golan when he offered to take the lecture that day on transmutation of silicates, but she wasn't about to say no. The class wasn't until the afternoon, so Ed spent the morning getting brought up to speed on the paperwork and where the students currently were in the year. It wasn't that far off from where Ed had left things last year. Having done this for over two decades now, getting back into the routine wasn't all that difficult.
The people who seemed the most stunned to see him were Feury, Falman, and Breda when Ed went up to Breda's office just before lunch.
"What are you doing here, Ed?" Feury asked, looking up at him in surprise.
"Well that's a nice greeting," Ed smirked.
Feury shook his head and shrugged. "I just figured you'd take all that available leave and run with it."
"I know I would have," Falman chuckled. "Sciezka and I would be on some exotic vacation."
Feury grinned. "That would be nice. I don't know how you do it, Ed."
"Duty calls," Ed shrugged flippantly. The office hadn't changed much; not that military offices ever really seemed to. Same faces, same desks, same filing cabinets. He was both glad and a little disappointed that there was no box of pastries where he knew there hadn't been one in a couple of years.
Falman smirked. "So loyal you'd skip out on leave? Havoc would be ashamed," he joked.
"Probably," Ed replied. The comment caught him off guard though. Yeah, Jean Havoc would probably have laughed at him and shoved him right back out the door. While Ed didn't say anything, he suspected Maes Hughes would have done that too. Ed missed them both, but he was kind of glad that Feury and Falman weren't likely to do the same thing.
"Well if you insist on reporting in," Feury grinned, "Breda's actually in at the moment and there's no one in there."
"Great," Ed moved past them and knocked on the door. When he heard an affirmative from the other side he opened it and went in.
Breda looked even more surprised that Feury and Falman had. "Ed? What are you doing here?"
"Geez, no one around here wants to see me," Ed put in his best mock-offended look, though he was obviously not really upset. "You sure you didn't send me out of the country to get rid of me?"
Fortunately Breda got the joke. He smirked. "Damn, you figured out our sure-fire plan for lowering the stress levels at Headquarters."
"Well it wasn't so sure-fire apparently was it?" Ed chuckled, "'Cause I'm still here."
"No it wasn't," Breda agreed. "So, what can I do for you?"
"More like the other way around," Ed replied with a shrug. "I wanted to let you know I'm back on duty, with your permission of course." Breda was his only superior officer.
The President frowned. "It's only been a week. Are you sure?"
A week of funerals, meaningless celebration, and awkward silence; Ed nodded. "I'm sure. Winry's going back to work soon with her ankle almost healed and there's no reason for me to hang around the house with nothing to do during the day is there?"
"Well, I suppose not," Breda looked reluctant, but he didn't argue. Finally he shrugged. "Sure, why not. You checked out okay on Friday. Just take it easy. The last thing I need is Doctor Gray yelling at me about someone else's health on top of my own."
Ed chuckled. "Don't worry. I have no intention of doing anything that's likely to set me back again."
"Glad to hear it," Breda smiled. "Welcome back. Oh, and Ed,"
In the middle of turning to leave, Ed paused and turned around. "What?"
"Stop by the Mess and eat something," Breda smirked. "You look underfed."
Ed snorted and smirked even as he shook his head. "Well why do you suppose that is?"
Winry tried to focus on the auto-mail in front of her, but finally she just gave up. It had been like that all morning. She would start a project only to find her mind wandering or tears blurring her vision. She couldn't concentrate, so she went back into the living room and curled up on the couch. Maybe there was something worth reading in the news. Not that she really saw what was in front of her on the page either. Her mind kept going back to that morning's realization that Ed wasn't home and he hadn't even bothered to tell her where he was going.
It was Ethan, as usual, who knew where he was and had looked confused when Winry asked where Edward had gone. "He left this morning in uniform," Ethan had replied. "He said he had some work he needed to do at Headquarters."
"Oh, thank you." Winry hadn't said anything else on the subject and Ethan had headed off to school. She didn't really want to get into that particular discussion with her son. Ethan already seemed puzzled and concerned by the awkwardness in the house lately, though Winry knew he understood that things would take a little time for everyone to readjust to normal life. Winry just wished Ed would try a little harder.
She was still sitting on the couch, beginning to contemplate lunch, when there was a knock at the front door. When Winry didn't move immediately she heard a key in the lock. It was too early for Ethan to be home from school, so it was probably Ed. She didn't bother to get up.
"Hello," Sara's voice came from the hallway. "Anybody home?"
"In here," Winry replied, a little surprised but pleased. She hadn't seen a lot of her daughter in the past week – and less for a year.
Sara came into the living room, looking reasonably more comfortable in civilian clothes than she had last week. "Hi," she smiled. "I was hoping you were here. I didn't see the car though."
"Your father went to work this morning," Winry replied flatly.
Sara blinked, startled. "He did? That's weird."
"It must have been important," Winry shrugged. It had better have been important.
"Probably," Sara nodded, though she didn't look entirely convinced. Now she looked torn. After a moment, she shrugged. "I really wanted him to be here too, but I guess you get the good news first," she smiled.
"What's that?" Winry asked curiously. She could use some good news.
Sara's smile broadened as she held up her left hand, fingers up, the back of her hand to Winry. The reason for her daughter's grin was immediately evident.
"Franz proposed?" Winry gasped, a smile coming to her own face as Sara nodded excitedly.
"He did!" Sara hugged Winry tightly in a rare moment of mother-daughter squealing. "Last night."
"Congratulations, honey," Winry hugged her daughter back, nearly as excited. "And it's about time that boy got around to it!"
Sara chuckled. "That was his thought on it too," she admitted.
"As well he should." Winry couldn't help but be happy seeing the joy on her daughter's face. "And I'm sure Ed will be thrilled to hear it," she added. At least she was still certain of that. He had griped about their practically living together in the privacy of the house last year, though he had been surprisingly good at letting Sara live her own life.
"I think so too," Sara agreed as they parted and she sat down on the couch. "He can finally stop being over-protective."
"Well, that might never stop," Winry warned with a soft chuckle, sitting back down. "Fathers are like that."
Sara nodded and her expression turned thoughtful. "Mom, I have to admit I've wondered something. Why is it that Franz and I, well, getting together, didn't bother you as much as Aldon and Cassie did?"
That was a good question, and one Winry had contemplated herself for quite some time. "For a few reasons, I think," Winry shrugged. "The primary one being that both of you are a good bit older than Aldon and Cassie were. You're both more experienced and mature and know what you want. And, frankly, you're a soldier. Like it or not, you're no more typical of girls than I am," Winry chuckled. "I didn't like it, but it's your life and you're happy. It also helps that you're more careful."
Her words seemed to relieve Sara, though her daughter gave her a suspicious look. "Experienced?"
Had she let that one slip? Apparently so. Winry smiled. "Don't play coy, Sara. Your father may be oblivious sometimes, but even I know Franz isn't your first. I don't think you want me to verify how much more I know than that." Winry wasn't nosy, but she listened. Especially to Ed when he was thinking out loud about things that bothered him. She was observant too, but she valued her daughter's privacy. If Sara had chosen not to tell them something after she turned eighteen, well that was her own business.
Sara's face flushed. "You're right," she nodded. "I… wow. But Dad has no idea?"
"If he did do you think the boy would still be alive?" Winry asked with a knowing look.
"Good point," Sara smiled and relaxed again. "I always knew you were probably the coolest mother ever, but I really would have figured you to kill me – or any guy – even before Dad."
"Like I said," Winry replied, "It's your life. I'm just glad you've found someone who makes you happy and who realizes just how lucky he is. Franz is a great guy."
"Of course he is," Sara smirked.
Despite the occasional awkwardness with Ed being one of Franz' superiors, Winry had always felt that the young man fit in well with the family already. "He's dependable, patient, polite," Winry nodded. All the things Ed sometimes forgets to be.
"Don't forget good looking," Sara chuckled. "We haven't set a date yet. Right now everything's so chaotic that we figured maybe we should just let things settle down a bit first."
"That sounds sensible," Winry agreed. "There's no rush after all."
"I hope Dad feels that way," Sara replied. "He gets impatient sometimes."
"I'll take care of him," Winry promised. She didn't think it would be a big deal. "Though you should definitely be sure to tell him first thing this evening. Do you want to stay for lunch?" It wasn't as if Winry was getting anything accomplished this afternoon, and these mother-daughter heart to heart talks were rare and welcome. It was nice to be able to talk to Sara as two grown women. It was definitely better than the arguing they had done when she was a teenager.
"I'd love to," Sara said.
Edward had a surprisingly relaxing day given how much he accomplished. He got caught up on paperwork and reviewed the files of the new students so he could get familiar with them and where they were to this point. Then he spent an hour in the War Room with Breda and Brahm discussing the fighting still going on between the border and Bueáire. Ed wasn't that familiar with that area, but he was also able to give them some details about the route he and Al had taken – the people, the political atmosphere, and the towns and terrain – that would hopefully be helpful. Roy wasn't in at the moment because it was the time of day he normally lectured over at the University. Ed was glad to know his suggestion had worked out so well with that. Apparently lecturing suited Roy well.
Ed joined one of the sparring sessions that afternoon with the State Alchemists. It wasn't alchemy combat, but that was for the best anyway. He got in a good workout without the stress of worrying about winning or losing, and worked until he was tired. They were glad to see him and it was with regret that Ed went home on time.
The evening held one more pleasant surprise. When he got home he found Sara and Winry had put together a nice dinner. Franz showed up too, and Ed got the news that they were getting married finally. That was definitely good news! They stayed late into the evening, only leaving when Ethan vacated to the bedroom to do his homework.
"I must have passed him three times today and never even suspected," Ed chuckled, referring to Franz, as he washed the dishes after their dinner guests had left.
"Well now you know," Winry replied as she put the leftovers in the refrigerator. There was a pause. "Why didn't you tell me you were going back to work?" She asked quietly.
Ed looked up and saw that Winry was watching him with an odd expression. "What are you upset about? You made it abundantly clear you didn't want me hanging around the house anymore," he replied, his good mood evaporating. Of course she would want to argue about something.
"I didn't say that," Winry countered.
Ed shrugged, irritated. "You know me; I'm more of an actions kind of guy."
"Yes, I'd noticed. And your actions say pretty clearly you don't give a damn about my feelings." Tears began to run slowly from her cheeks.
Oh great, now she was crying. "And yours do about mine?" Ed turned abruptly, leaving the last dishes in the sink "The only thing I could count on was that you were somewhere safe, and I found out the hard way that you were out in the thick of it where you could have been killed. You almost were!"
"So were you," Winry countered, "Repeatedly and there was nothing making me stay home, not even you. You promised me that years ago."
"Well it was a stupid promise," Ed grumbled turning back to the sink and finishing the dishes.
"Was it?" Winry asked softly, not about to leave it there. "I was able to do a lot of good out there, Edward. Of course it's dangerous. It was a war. Do you really think I didn't know what I was getting into?" She put a hand on his arm and Ed turned to look at her. "I saved people, Ed. I helped soldiers and women and children. I gave them new limbs and bandaged their existing ones. I gave them a chance to live a whole life! It felt good. I felt like I was finally doing something. How could I deny them help just because you need me to stay at home?"
There was a fire to her that startled Ed. All he had wanted was to keep his family safe, but Winry didn't seem to care about that. "I wanted to protect you," he replied, though it sounded lame to him, which only made him angrier.
"I don't need protection," Winry objected furiously, though her tone grew more intense as it got a little louder. "And I'm not here just to make you feel good. What, you're not strong enough to stand on your own legs anymore?"
The words dug into a wound that Ed had thought long closed. "So because you feel you're not being useful you just run off?" He didn't know why, but this defiance in her scared him in a way it never had before.
"Says the man who does it all the time," Winry countered, her hands planted firmly on her hips. "My parents were doctors in a war. Why shouldn't I offer the same care that they did?"
"And they died!"
"People die, Edward!" Winry exclaimed. "My parents were executed. If you go by that logic I'm no safer in Central than anywhere else. You and I have both almost died before. It's the life we live. It's a life you chose. Well I get to make my choices too. Or do you really think I enjoy sitting at home in a half-empty house devotedly praying for your safe return?"
"Damn it, Winry!" He didn't want to fight with her. Okay, so part of him didn't. The rest had no interest in keeping his temper when she wasn't going to do the same. "What's wrong with wanting to take care of my family?"
"You have to be here to do that," Winry replied pointedly. "I'm sorry you're feeling insecure, Ed, and I know this was tough on you, but it was tough on me too. I held other people's dying children, but I'm still not sorry I went. I want to be here for you, but it's got to go both ways this time. I'm tired of offering sympathy and understanding up a one way street."
"You want me to be here? Well I'm here now," Ed pointed out. What was her problem? There was something he just couldn't wrap his mind around, and that bothered him.
"Only when you feel like it," Winry shook her head. "What about today? You didn't even ask my opinion."
"Are we back to harping on that?" Ed scowled. Screw this! He pushed past her and pulled a glass out of the cabinet. All the arguing was drying out his mouth.
"Harping? I wouldn't have to bring it up at all if you'd just consider someone besides yourself," Winry retorted, turning to follow him. "You're the one who volunteered to go off on a mission with minimal contact that would last for months at the shortest and ended up taking a year; a mission into a war zone that was guaranteed to see combat. You always lead from the front and do things that could get you killed, and that's what almost happened… again. What good are you to your family if you're not here?"
Just because Ed had asked himself that same question didn't mean he liked hearing it from someone else; especially not as an accusation from Winry. "I had to go."
"No you didn't," Winry called him on it. All right, so he didn't believe that anymore, but he had then. "I just want you to stay home this time, the way I've asked you to for the past twenty years. Is that so difficult?"
"And if there's another conflict?" Ed opened a bottle and filled the glass.
"Stay home."
"And let people die?" Ed couldn't imagine her believing that.
Winry shook her head. "The world isn't your responsibility Edward. There are plenty of other people who can do those jobs."
If she was trying to hit every painful point of guilt he had, she was hitting nothing but bulls-eyes. Ed knew this only too well. But if he could be replaced, what purpose did he really serve? He wasn't so sure anymore. "Not the way I do," he replied, but the steam had gone out of his argument.
"That might be a good thing," Winry sighed, pushing her bangs out of her face. There was still a little puzzled frown on her face. "When did you start drinking again anyway?"
Yeah, she really was going to poke him anywhere she could tonight wasn't she? "In Bueáire; there was a surprise attack," Ed retorted, taking a sip.
Winry's eyes went wide at his choice of words and she clamped her mouth shut. There was no way she missed the reference. That was what they had told Winry had happened to her parents. The truth was, of course, a very different story. It was a low blow to compare her shouting at him to what Roy had done to her parents, but Ed wasn't feeling particularly magnanimous this evening. He upended the glass and downed it in one long swallow, partially out of spite, and refilled it. The bottle of good rum had been in the cabinet for a few years now. It seemed a good time to break into it, so why not?
Winry finally found her voice. "Ed, there are other ways to cope…"
"Look!" Ed shoved his finger in her face, cutting her off. He really wasn't in the mood for a needless lecture. "This isn't the Xing War, Winry. I haven't been tortured near to death. I'm not broken. I just feel like having a drink. I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of it."
Maybe he'd over reacted a little. "Sorry I mentioned it." Winry backed off, looking concerned and hurt. "I'm going to bed." Then she turned and walked out of the room without another word.
"Good night." Ed watched her go, but he didn't try to stop her. He felt immediately bad about fighting with her, but his temper went off so easily these days. He never caught it until it was far too late. It didn't help that she was right, of course. Winry usually was. Trying to apologize right now wouldn't help. She probably wouldn't believe him, and he wouldn't blame her. Besides, even he knew he would just be trying to placate the situation. Ed finished his second drink and put the bottle away. He should get some sleep and cool off. There was always tomorrow to try and fix things.