A/N: This came to me one day and I figured I'd write it =P. So here's the Christmas Special Enjoy!

Warnings: EXTREME Out of Characterness on Snape's part sometimes but this is a comedy so don't like out of characterness please don't flame me for it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter this is purely fanmade, besides I'd take Severus any day over that scarhead xDD

Chapter One: The Accident

It was a few months before Christmas and all was well at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. All the students were tucked in their dorms and all was quiet except for the echoing footsteps of Filch or the meows of Mrs. Norris through the corridors. One individual however was still at work at this hour, Professor Snape.

In his office he worked, dicing ingredients to add to his new potion, a red liquid bubbled away in the cauldron he was working on. When Snape set his mind to anything, he would create it. Right now it was a potion designed to take the Christmas spirit out of everyone in the castle. If no one had any, no one would put up the decorations or even sing those blasted songs every year. He had put up with it for nearly 20 years and now it was time to say good bye.

He had it all planned out, he would bring a bottle of it with him into the Great Hall and cast an evaporating charm to make it appear as an invisible mist. All it would take is one drop in everyone's goblet and then no more Christmas spirit. He smiled as he thought over his plan in his mind, it was perfect, the old coot Dumbledore wouldn't suspect it and even if they asked him or someone else to make an antidote he would say yes and make something completely different. It's not like anyone could outdo him in a potion HE created anyways.

It was nearly completed, he had added the necessary ingredients to make everything happen and now he needed to add one more ingredient. He picked up the final ingredient and spun it around in his fingers. For a moment he allowed himself to become lost in his childhood fantasies about kissing Lily Evans underneath it and then he angrily threw the mistletoe into the cauldron, instantly thinking of her loser husband potter. Lost in his reverie of rage he failed to notice the contents of the cauldron suddenly turn into a swirl of green and red and bubble dangerously. It seeped over the sides of the cauldron and down the desk bubbling more violently as it dripped to the floor. Snape turned around and watched what was happening, it was as though someone had put baking soda and vinegar into his cauldron.

The pressure became too great and the cauldron exploded, spraying fragments of the iron cauldron and its contents everywhere. Snape was hit head on with the flying pieces of metal, one hit him in the thigh, one on his right shoulder and one rebounded off his head making him fall over unconscious. The potion continued to spill everywhere eventually pooling around the lifeless body of Snape.

He woke up in the hospital wing to the urgent cries of "Severus!". His eyes fluttered open and came face to face with Dumbledore, automatically he jumped halfway up the bed and smacked his head into the wall behind him. He held his head and groaned. "Why am I in the hospital wing?"

"You didn't show up for your classes the next day so we went into your private lab to find out what was happening. You were knocked out on the floor with pieces of metal in your body. Did you hex your cauldron?"

He was screwed they had seen the potion, he quickly thought of a lie to tell them about it. "No I was working on a potion to…cure Werewolf's….for my good friend…..Reamus?" He mentally smacked himself in head. Dumbledore looked down at him over his half moon spectacles; Snape stared back, praying to god that the headmaster would overlook it.

"Severus, I think that piece of shrapnel went too far into your head are you alright?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Yes headmaster." He got up and went behind a curtain to change.

"Severus." Said the headmaster.

"Yes headmaster?" He removed his hospital robe and was greeted by a window outside of it a number of students pointing, some actually throwing up and the sight of their potions master. He quickly covered himself up and went to the other side of the curtain. "You were…"

"Yeah." He replied sheepishly.

"Probably could have…you know?" Said Snape awkwardly tying the hospital gown around himself again.

"Yeah…I know." Said Dumbledore looking down at the floor . "You should….go get dressed."

"Yeah." Snape dashed to one of the changing rooms and came out his usual self, clad in black robes and a billowing cape of doom. "I trust the mess was cleaned up?" He asked heading to the door.

"Yes the cauldron was picked up, next time though please don't go exploding your cauldron." Said Dumbledore watching him, Snape stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"And the potion, Was it cleaned up?"

"Severus there wasn't any when I got in there." Explained the Dumbledore eyeing Snape curiously. "What were you working on?"

"I told you, the cure for werewolf syndrome for my good friend Reamus." He smiled and left the hospital wing.

He got to his office in minutes, passing students along the way, some of them still looked queasy. But nevertheless he had to figure out what had happened with the potion. Snape went straight into his lab and saw the cauldron gathered up in pieces on the counter. "Reparo." He flicked his wand at it and the cauldron was instantly repaired. Then he looked for any traces of anyone coming in other than Dumbledore. He circled the table in the middle pondering who it could have been. Dumbledore would have pressed the issue further, Filch wouldn't know how to take charms down, the teacher's kept their distance and it wasn't in their nature. Potter wouldn't dare come near his private chamber, he even doubted the boy even knowing where his classes were. He ran over the ingredients in his head; Mint leaf, ground falcon talon, pine needles, Moonstone, Blast Ended Screwt Blood and Mistletoe.

A new idea came to him, what if it had been absorbed into his skin? He quickly went into his stores and looked for a flask. He found it and slid down the ladder. It was Heglace Potion, used to determine if any potions were present in the body at anytime. He downed the foul liquid in one swift movement and waited. If it was true that the potion had been absorbed into his skin, the color of the potion would replace his normally pale self. He waited and a few minutes went by he noticed a green tinge to his skin, no wait now it was red and then green again. A striped pattern appeared over his entire body and Snape looked down at him. The potion should have been complete, now it would take time to see if it actually worked or not.