Clan Party!
By Sienna Rhiannon Chase
Summary: The Clans (around Starlight) are throwing a party. Watch out for Firestar's swinging rabbit! All canon pairings. If you don't like random humor and Dustpelt smashing coffee cups, don't read. Spoilers for TNP, FQ, and SotC. Everyone is extremely OOC. Rated for language.
Rated: K+
Warning: Tallstar is acting strangely.
If someone has already done a party fanfic, please let me know and I will take this down if it's too much like that one. PLEASE don't flame saying I've plagiarized.
Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors, Eragon, Harry Potter, Star Wars, or any of the songs the crazier cats sing. After all, if I owned Warriors, Hawkfrost would be a fluffy little bunny rabbit. And he would eat bananas.
Firestar: I'm bored. It's hard being gallant and chivalrous all the time.
Cinderpelt: Yo, I dig, dawg. What up?
Firestar: Didn't I just tell you?
Cinderpelt: Whatev. -does shoulder-rolling thing- So homie, what's goin' on in the house?
Firestar: Someone please make her go away.
-Brambleclaw drags her away-
Cinderpelt: Yo homie, stop it dawg!
Brambleclaw: No.
-Brambleclaw dumps her on top of Squirrelflight-
Squirrelflight: Ow. Brambleclaw, my love, may I take a dead rodent from the pile of recently killed animals of the class Mammalia?
Brambleclaw: Um, sure.
Leafpool: Let's have a party!
Mousefur: w00tfullness! Party! PARTY!
Brackenfur: We don't have any Kelly Clarkson CDs.
Sorreltail: Oh, shut up.
Brackenfur: You cut me real deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. How could you, Sorreltail? -sings- Breaakawaaaaaay…
-Cloudtail kicks Brackenfur away, Brackenfur lands in Mongolia-
Brackenfur: -sings- BREAAKAWAAAAY…
Random Nomadic People: Shut up!
-back to England-
Ferncloud: OMG! Brackenfur's obsession with Kelly Clarkson songs is gonna do something bad to my kits! OMG! I must be overprotective!
Firestar: Stop acting obsessive-compulsive.
Leafpool: So where's the party, people?
Daisy: It left with the fireflies.
Ashfur: What?
Daisy: I love you, Cloudtail!
Cloudtail: d00d, that is NOT gonna work out.
Dustpelt: -sings- I'm not here for your ent-ah-tainment, I just wanna—
Sandstorm: Dude, that is like soooo something GIRLS should sing!
Firestar: Ok…-puts party hat on his head- w00t! A PARTY! -lights switch off and a disco is revealed in the treetops- Let's get it started and HOT! Let's get it started in HERE!
Sandstorm: Firestar, my pearl, those aren't even the words. -whacks him on head with a dead rabbit- Now act normal.
-Firestar seizes rabbit and starts spinning around-
-ShadowClan and WindClan, attracted by the noise, come into camp and start discoing-
Crowfeather: -sings- Take a look at my girlfriend!
Graystripe and Blackstar: Girlfriend!
Firestar: -sings- She's the only one I got! hits Onewhisker on the head with the rabbit
Onewhisker: -knocked out- Wahoo!
Graystripe and Blackstar: Ba DA da BA da dum!
Leafpool: Aww, Crowfeather, how sweet.
Feathertail: Hey, what about me?
Nightcloud: Hey, what about ME?
-spotlight falls on Tallstar doing the Hustle on the dance floor-
Tallstar: I want the BEST of BOTH WORLDS…
Longtail: BAAA da ba ba BAH, DA DA ba da da BAH, ba da da DA!
Russetfur: BESSSSSST of BOTH WORLDS!
Brightheart: STOP IT! Jeez!
Tawnypelt: Does Hannah Montana even air on this part of the planet?
Onewhisker: Two words. Satellite. TV.
-Movie clip of all of WindClan clustered around a lone TV on the moor with a satellite dish behind it-
Tawnypelt: OMG. Mental image. MENNNTAL image.
-Phone rings-
Brightheart: -picks up phone- Hello?
Crookedstar: Will you keep the freaking NOISE down!
-movie clip of the RiverClan camp hosting American Idol-
Brightheart: Look who's talking.
Crookedstar: Simon can't hear the singers, so he can't tell them their songs are crap!
Brackenfur: -picks up the other phone to listen in- Hey, Kelly Clarkson was on American Idol, and she's the best singer EVAR!
Crookedstar: Galbatorix's shoes! Stupid young tomcats. -Hangs up phone-
Brightheart: HEY! ERAGON IS IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE! OMG!! -jumps into space-time continuum to hug Durza- OMG DUDE YOU'RE MY ROLE MODEL!
Durza: Bwa ha ha ha…
Sorreltail: Continuing back to the universe where the sane cats live…
Brackenfur: Sorrely, my beautiful deathberry-lover, if that was true, Cinderpelt would have gone with Brightheart.
-movie clip of Cinderpelt confessing her love of Eragon to Murtagh-
Sorreltail: I think she did.
Firestar: -rapping- Snape is awesome! Snape is cool! So dig that homies, don't go to school!
Sandstorm: Cats don't go to school. -crickets chirp- Just saying.
Runningnose: -rapping- We did it, we beat them, wee Potter's the one, and Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun! Wahoo!
Tornear: Dude, that is, like, Peeves' song. You, like, stole it. Dig?
Squirrelflight: Excuse me, I have not yet perused the great tome of the Deathly Hallows. I request you leave out the main plot points.
Leafpool: I thought I was the smart one.
Crowfeather: It's okay, sweetiekins, I love you no matter what.
Leafpool: Kewl.
Tallstar: -sings- Hey, I put some new shoes on, I'm gonna be—
Firestar: -knocks him out with the rabbit-
Dustpelt: Thanks, Firestar!
Whitepaw: Let's do the YMCA song!
Birchpaw: Oh yeah! DUN DUN DUN!
Sootpaw and Birchpaw: Let's do the Y!
Whitepaw: M!
Birchpaw: C!
Sootpaw: A! Everybody, Y!
Birchpaw: M!
Whitepaw and Sootpaw: C! A!
Brambleclaw: Those, um, aren't, uh, the words, eh?
Squirrelflight: My flight of fancy, you seemed much intelligent when I first encountered you.
Thornclaw: Muscle does not intelligence make.
Firestar: Thornclaw, you've been watching too much Star Wars.
Thornclaw: Too much Star Wars not always is the culprit.
Leafpool: Or else you're channeling Midnight.
Dustpelt: -with a lampshade on head- …You kick up the leaves, and the magic is lost…Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around
Tallstar: -with his new notebook computer- Yo, everyone, look at my Sony VAIO! -cats crowd around- Isn't it cool?
Firestar: Oooh…
Blackstar: Aah…
Graystripe: Wow…
All three: MINE!! -A scuffle ensues over the laptop, and is settled by the computer motherboard blowing up-
Tallstar: -covered in soot- oO. That was random.
Firestar: -chases Blackstar around with his dead swinging rabbit while the rest of the cats laugh at their antics-
Graystripe: El fin.
Brambleclaw: Uh, bless you.
Graystripe: I said, el fin!
Russetfur: What?
Squirrelflight: I have cause to believe, after looking in a tome titled Spanish/English Dictionary, that those two utterances are taken to mean "the end."
Graystripe: YES! Finally someone gets it!
Crowfeather: JOY to the WORLD, for CORN NUTS rule! We BARBECUED some PENCILS!
Cinderpelt: Yo, Corn Nuts ain't the only nuts round here, dig homies?
Leafpool: You mean Crowfeather is a nut? OMG!! DEATH TO YOU, EVIL MENTOR!! -leaps at Cinderpelt-
Cinderpelt: Yo, girlfriend, you should be actin', like, all sweet to me, 'cuz I'm gonna die in the next book. Gawd…
Leafpool: Oh.
Graystripe: As I was saying, el fin.
Blackstar: -electrifying himself with wires from the laptop- MERRY CHRISTMAS, CHARLIE BROWN!
Graystripe: -covers camera as Dustpelt starts to smash coffee cups- El Fin. Good-bye.
A/N: Read and REVIEW please!! Hope you liked it.
Love you all,
Sienna Rhiannon Chase