Chapter 1 : fit where you can

Look at him

His walk, the way he bounced from one step to another, the way he held his head high as if he could take on anything life would throw at him, the way he laughed openly at a joke his friend had just told, making us all want to join in the fun, all of it made me wonder why. Why did he have it so easy while the rest of us had to cope? How could he have good grades in every subject when he seemed to have something better to talk about with his friends every minute a lesson went by? How come he seemed to care about the war that was raging outside the castle when, being the pure blood wizard that he was, he would have been the first to profit of the situation? She couldn't understand. Then again, she could. It's simply who James Potter was. But Lily wasn't going to be fooled by first impressions. She wasn't the innocent muggle that had walked into this world so long ago…

. . . . . . . . .

The old crazy looking Santa Clause wearing a robe made of dark blue velvet with a weird looking lighter in one pocket and a wooden stick in the other was her last chance to not have to go to that private, high class school for princesses with pretty looking hair, clothes, make up and dumb Barbie expressions that Petunia was attending. She took one look at the man at the door she had just opened and wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry… But she was much closer to crying than she would have been willing to admit to anyone. Even to herself. Because it wasn't just that she knew she wouldn't fit in the school her parents were making her attend. It wasn't like the ballet lessons with itchy tights or the horseback riding on a horse that nearly ate her hand when she offered it an apple. It wasn't like the ballroom dance classes where the guy she had been partnered with had taken one look at her and asked the teacher to switch. It wasn't like the painting class or the skiing class where, sure it had been fun while she was in her own little bubble, but was ruined the moment she had looked at the people surrounding her to realize she actually sucked.

It wasn't that she didn't fit in the high class society where everybody talked in everybody's back, cared about what everybody thought, and followed stupid traditions or trends like naming your kids after flowers.

She just didn't fit anywhere.

Except maybe the park, where that guy with really dirty hair, white skin and clothes really too big for him had asked her what her name was and hadn't laughed when she had told him her name was Lily. But that was pretty much it.

And she couldn't go to the public high school down the road because she liked books, and people who liked books in public school were supposedly laughed at and thrown into 

lockers unless they were really pretty, which she wasn't, or they could do team sports, which she couldn't, or really cool, like smoking cancer in a stick or sniffing brain busting powder or using SIDA infected needle. Yep! That's right, the only way she could have been accepted in the other world her parents kept snobbing had been thrown out the window due to brainwashing by her mother and school.

So really, this old man in a night gown, that had written a letter to her parents talking about an alternative school, which her mother had taken seriously, ( and she had thought the letter arriving by owl had been strange) had been her last hope. And really, she wished she hadn't known about it. Because she hadn't realized how miserable she really was until she had considered going to this other school. Well, actually she did, but since there was nothing to do about it she had kept her mouth, and her mind, shut. Until now. And now, her life plan for the next years seemed to really, really suck.

She let the Dumbledore man in the house since, really it would have been socially unacceptable if she had slammed the door in his face and ran to her room to cry. And this reasoning, for once, she could understand.

Her parents were in her father's study room. Her mother looking like the high class mistress of the house she is and her father, the conventional serious perfectionist business man he is. (Really, she didn't know why she noticed these things all of a sudden).

Her mother's eye brows went up, but not as high as her father's, when they took a look at the man that was following her. If her father had had hair, his eyebrows would definitely have been hidden. No matter how high the receding hair line was nowadays.

'' Well hello Mr. and Mrs. Evans, it's an honor to meet the parents of our soon to be new pupil! And might I add it's a very nice house you live in.'' Was the first words out of the stranger's mouth.

Telling he was honored to meet her parents made him win a couple of brownie points with them. Telling she was to be a student at his school as if it's a given made him win a million brownie points with her. But telling her parents that their million dollar propriety that has been taken in example in magazines and has received huge compliments from everybody that has passed through it, that it's nice made her parents eyebrows go down. A lot.

''Well, we are honored to receive you in our very nice house Mr. Dumbledore.'' replied her father.

''That is very nice of you'' replied the beard man, ''I was wondering if I could talk to your daughter about Hogwarts before I explain the details of her future education with you''

''That would be no'' her father replied without missing a beat

''In that case I have the pleasure of announcing to you that your daughter is a witch ''

And the other end was, not so surprisingly, silent.

At the same time, completely in tune with each other, her parents turned their heads to look at her. She dropped the hair strand she had been twisting as if it was on fire. This man just lost a lot of brownie points there. Reminding her mother she had a reflex, not a twitch, of turning the end of her ponytail with her left hand when she felt nervous, awkward, stressed, out of place or uncomfortable was really mean. Her mother hadn't commented on it today. Yet.

''Excuse me Sir.'' Her mother replied a little bit on the defensive

And it seemed she was off the hook. This was really surreal!

'' Trust me, I usually let people draw their own conclusions of the many hints I give them in hope that they will succeed and understand better that way, but with muggle parents I have learned with time it is better to simply state why I'm here to give them more time to process it.'' Mr. Dumbledore answered.

Did this man just give a lecture to her parents and call them muggle? So in this school the teachers do drugs…

''I can understand how this is a shock for you, but can you think of anything weird ever happening to your daughter or her surroundings'' the man continued since her parents had become temporarily mute.

''No'' both her parents answered at the same time

Now, she figured, wouldn't be the best time to tell her parents every strange thing that has been happening to her lately. And anyway, they wouldn't have acknowledged it in front of a stranger. Rule one when you care about what people think: Do not do or say anything remotely strange in front of someone that could very well tell the neighbors about it.

As if he could read her mind, Mr Dumbledore turned to her and asked:

''Do you agree Lily Evans?''

Now she was stuck, because she didn't want to lie to him and ruin her chances of going to another school, even if the teachers were all under the influence, but she wasn't about to break a house rule in front of her parents. Therefore she said the first thing that came to mind.

''Hum, Sir. I don't see what it has to do with my hair.''

By that point her parents were going red in the face. So she figured she had better clean the spotless image of her family before this man went around telling how the youngest Evans had an obsession with hair. Well, when it came to twisting it that is.

''Why, what strange thing happened to your hair? ''

''Oh!'', trying to know how this man knew about THE 'Hair Incident ' two years ago, ''It is not what you think.''

''Would you care to explain?''

'' The hairdresser explained to my mother how my hair cannot take hair dye and that is why it stays it's natural color no matter how much she wants it to go platinum blonde''

''You don't believe you have anything to do with the color changing''

''No, it has nothing to do with what happened when I was six''

''Really?'' the old man replied seeming more and more interested

'' I'm telling you I had nothing to do with the fact that one minute the garden was ready to be taken in picture for our perfect family portrait and the next it went all brown and dead and we had to report the picture to another date. It was the gardener's fault; he admitted he put a bad product in it after my father paid him to say so to the photographer.'' A panicked Lily answered.

''Alright this is enough!'' my father looked as if he was going to spit fire like a dragon, (as if they existed!) ''Sir you were invited in this house under the pretence that it was about our daughter's education. Since it seems to not be the case you shall leave now.''

And her chance of ever fitting in literally just walked out the door.