"Do you think I could ever actually feel anything for you?" Daniel asked sternly.
"I.. I don't know what you mean Daniel.." Vala answered wearily.
"Well I don't! How could I?! We're completely different!" Daniel started. He waved his arms out in exaggerated explanation.
"I try to be reasonable. I try to see all sides of the argument and respect all views and all life. I try to help people. You on the other hand."
"What, what about me?" Vala asked, then winced wishing he wouldn't say what he was going to say.
"All you care about is yourself! Me! Me! Me! 'I'm bored!', 'Can I keep the treasure?', 'Where's my share?' It's always money and greed with you. Stealing and manipulating situations to benefit yourself. You're a con artist! A thief! And above all you're a fruitcake!"
Vala turned away from him. Not sure how she could counter that. It was true wasn't it? At least on some level. She didn't mean to be selfish anymore but it was just so easy...
"With all of that on a personal level, how could I ever trust you? I'm not even sure why we're even working together now to be honest!"
Vala held her arms. She could feel tears starting to form. "Am I really so horrible?"
"Yes!".. Daniel snapped then took a few seconds to take a breath and tried to rethink where he was going with this conversation.
Vala lowered her head and played with her lip with her teeth, keeping herself from crying.
"I mean.. You're not that.. Bad.. What I mean was you're bad for me Vala." He touched his chest. "You have too see that right? Never in a million years would I have ever thought that you and I-"
Vala headed to the door, cutting him off as she rubbed her leaking eyes.
"Oh don't pretend like you're upset." Daniel criticized harshly.
Vala winced at his bitter, uncaring tone. She couldn't believe what she had been hearing. Daniel had never seemed like this before. So angry and mean. He really did hate her, she concluded, while she had always thought of him as her best friend. She decided she wouldn't listen to him yell her ear off and put her down like dirt anymore. She wouldn't cry in front of him. He didn't deserve the satisfaction.
Vala went out the door and made her way down the hall. Once she was past the bend, out of view from any of the prying eyes of the few late nightshift crew, she broke into a run. She wanted to get to her room as fast as possible, as she realized she couldn't contain her tears anymore. Tears streamed down her face, wet and cold against the air of her speed. She was huffing and puffing but she refused to stop. She was close now, just a few more turns... She went around and-
*THUD!*
She felt herself smack hard into something solid and fall over along with it before she could see what was happening.
"Hey watch where you're running, fumbles McStupid!" A voice sounded in her ear, annoyed and loud.
Vala kept her head down. She was too tired and too upset to pick her head up. She also knew chances where she would be even more mortified and humiliated to look at whoever she had ran into and he would see her crying. Vala's shoulders shook as she tried to keep her sobs as muffled as possible but it was difficult.
"Hey." The voice said again, worried this time. A hand followed awkwardly patting her back. "Look.. I'm sorry.. Did I hurt you?.."
The voice sounded warm and caring in her ears. Vala buried her head down clutching at what felt like fabric in her hands. She gave up fighting it and fell into her sobs. Not caring how loud she was anymore. She just needed to cry.
~ Rodney gazed down at the woman who had run into him. She was laying on top of him crying. Originally, he was pissed off when he had hit the ground. His head hurt bad and he would have complained her ear off about it like he did with anyone whenever something happened to him, but her reaction instead worried him. First, she hadn't gotten up and he thought maybe she had fallen unconscious, but then she started crying and that lead to his hypochondria to go into hyper drive. Had he hurt her that bad? He gazed over the woman. She was slim in size, especially compared to his size, which meant he might have indeed hurt her in comparison. Worry started to flood his brain. Did she break something? Is her spine okay? No no, he was the one who landed on his back, and she landed on him her spine should be fine.. Maybe she dislocated something?
He had tried to ask her if she was okay but got no response.. In fact her crying only got worse.. Rodney wince warily as he patted her back lightly. He wasn't good with people crying, let alone a woman crying.. Even women not crying was hard enough. He looked around. The hallways around them where empty, it was late, most people where asleep by now, so he doubted anyone would show up any time soon to help. He sighed. He looked back at the woman. There was nothing else he could do.
"What's wrong?" He frowned, when he still got no response but tears. "You know..." Rodney started, he lifted one of his hands waving his fingers.
"I can fix the impossible.. So you can tell me what's wrong. I can fix it... As long as it's not medical voodoo related." Rodney stated hoping his half hearted attempt at his ego would lighten the mood, or at least annoy her so she would finally get off him, or at least say something.
The woman finally, slowly picked her head up. Rodney recognized her finally as he saw her face. He had meet her once before when SG-1 visited Atlantis..
He frowned. "You look terrible." He stated bluntly, then winced as he realized this was one of those bad times to speak down to someone.
"Ha, ha." Vala replied weakly in sarcasm. "Thanks for that assessment." She whipped away at her tear stained eyes.
"Sorry.. Stating everything is just something I do." Rodney muttered, looking away. Then stopped, wondering why he said that out loud, then rolled his eyes when he realised he just did what he just said.
"Oh really? Well I think I've had enough of that type of thing tonight." Vala started sitting up on Rodney.
"What do you mean? Did someone say something to you?" He asked, realizing maybe this whole run into each other thing wasn't why she was upset.
"I don't really want to talk about it.." Vala replied, looking away.
"Well obviously it was something really bad for you to be so upset..."
"Oh, just you know... Best friend puts you down, rips you apart-"
"Wait- What?"
"- But it's all true isn't it? Every word Daniel said was true. I'm a con artist, a selfish thief, a liar, crazy and untrustworthy." Vala stated, tears threatening to start again.
"No." Rodney stated, his eyes distant, as his mind raced at a fast pace, processing and thinking over what he just heard.
"No?" Vala looked down at him confused. "Yes, it's true I'm-"
"Not that anymore." Rodney cut in. "You where those things. You aren't anymore."
Vala stared at him, surprised. "How would you know? You don't know me."
"I've read all of SG-1's files. Your change in your actions proved it."
"You can't just judge what kind of person I am just because you read a few reports.. I never even wrote mine.." Vala countered.
"I know what it's like to join the action. To be part of it. This community changes you. I know this cause it's happened to me."
Vala looked at him uneasy yet intrigued. "Like what?"
"I was pretty selfish too.. Still am but.. Less so I'll admit.." Rodney's fingers flexed. "But one of the first things I did for the expedition was put my own life on the line to save the expedition from an energy being... That was something I never would have expected from myself. To sacrifice myself for others but I did, and still do."
His gaze turned and looked deep into Vala's eyes. "You did the same thing with the Supergate."
"I.. I didn't think I would survive." Vala replied honestly. Rodney nodded back in understanding.
"I had read you also came up with the idea to mess with your own memoires to try to get Adria back. That.. That must have taken a lot of bravery."
Vala nodded watching Rodney's reaction. His eyes seemed strained, and his breathing was more noticeable. "I.. I knew it was the only way, I was quite brilliant tho but yes, it was painful, with my altered memories.. I thought no one cared.." Vala bit back sadness. "And you?" She asked slightly worried for him.
Rodney blinked and shook his head, clearing the memoires from his mind, he looked back into Vala's eyes. "I've.. had things mess with my mind quite a few times.."
He shook his head. "Never voluntary though or to serve some noble purpose..." His eyes drifted about, fingers dancing about agitated.
Vala suddenly grabbed his twitching hands and held them in hers. He looked back at her suddenly startled. She didn't know why she had done that but they just wouldn't stop moving. She looked back into his eyes now that she had his full attention. "Tell me about it." She asked, feeling better that she wasn't focusing on her own unhappiness.
"The first time.. It was a virus.. Kirsan Fever.. I had forgotten everything.. I was ill and crazy pill poppers where after me... It wasn't so bad once it was over really.. Maybe made me go hypochondriac on minor illness after that for a while but nothing major..."
Rodney's blue eyes slid away from hers again. His fingers struggling to wiggle in her hands.
"However the other time.."
He stopped again. His face looked pained. She stroked her thumbs over his hands. "Go on." She encouraged, she was curious now.
"The next time was horrid.." He looked back at her, he had started shaking. "I felt myself loosing everything I had ever known. Slowly. Painfully. Everyday to every hour, my memories would slip a little further! There was no way I could stop myself!"
Ache filled his chest." There was nothing I could do.. All I could do was just.. Let it happen... My whole life.. Gone..." He added quietly.
Vala gazed down at him sadly realizing there was people going through a lot more then she was and dealing with it better then her hurt feelings over words. "I'm sorry.. That is horrible.. I can't imagine.."
"And that's the problem.. I can." Rodney's breaths came out harder. "Even without it affecting me anymore I still.. I still have nightmares about it.. That I'll just slip away and never realize it."
Rodney's internal pain became more evident. Vala let go of his hands and laid back down against him. She held him, unsure of what she could say.
"Is there anything I could do to make the nightmares go away?" She asked quietly.
Rodney's eyes widened at the embrace. He wasn't use to physical contact like this. He looked back down at her. "I... I don't know..."
Vala shrugged against him. "Well.. I'm sure there's something we can do... Maybe the internet can help?" She put in. When in doubt she could find anything there.
Rodney stared at her amazed. No one had ever seemed to care about how he dealt with his psychological issues before.. Most of the time, if not all of the time, people would usually just make fun of his problems.. Like his hypochondria and allergies where just jokes. To be honest, he was even still hurt at John, Sam and Cameron, for them never apologizing with the lemon threatening. He didn't understand why they where so careless with it around him. He was deathly allergic, but what did they care... Or those times when people would just force him into stressful situations, not caring how much pressure they weighted down on him. How much that constant stress affected his health...
But she cared?... Why?...
"Uh.. Thanks."
"Mmm hmmm."
"Why... Why do you care?" He asked intrigued.
"I guess.. Maybe it's cause I've brought horrible evil into this galaxy.. So it's time I bring in some good deeds."
"Horrible evil?"
"Adria."
Rodney closed his eyes. "Family issues?"
Vala nodded. "I think that qualified to the extreme of family issues.. Not to mention my scoundrel of a- Jacek."
"Mmmm. I know." He sighed. "Families are tough huh? My parents weren't that great either.. Always blamed me for everything.. and my sister and I had a hard time."
"Jacek would just betray me, time and time again..." She sighed. "Even when I had just started to trust him.." Rodney nodded back.
After a while of just laying there soaking in the unfamiliar silence, Vala got up slightly, to her knees and arms just hovering over him. His eyes scanned over her in a flattering way. She grinned. It was kind of nice to be looked at, without it just being a tease. It had been a while.
"So.. Are you feeling better now?" Rodney asked trying to get back onto topic as he shifted slightly.
Vala thought about it for a moment, and judged her own emotions. "Yeah... Think so."
Rodney nodded. "Good."
"Sorry about running into you."
"Oh, uh no problem.. It was nice to finally talk to someone who actually wants to listen to what I have to say." Rodney stated.
"Oh hmmm? What sorry?" She grinned at his brief disappointed reaction. "Just kidding."
Rodney gave a half smile back. "Oh haha." He stated sarcastically as his eyes continued to look her over.
She stared into those blue eyes and then looked lower at his lips. She leaned in and caught them with hers.
His eyes shot open startled, but then he closed them and went along with the kiss. He made cute little noises as they kissed.
She backed out of the kiss, gazing at him, and then leaned down lower, against him again, her eyes lit up as he smiled at her.
"So.. You don't find me horrible and unattractive?" Vala asked preparing herself for a rejection.
"Of course not. Anyone who would say that about you is either blind or stupid."
"Well, Daniel does wear glasses..."
"His loss then." Rodney replied, shifting around.
"So we could... Try this?" Vala asked. Wanting to be sure that she wasn't getting the wrong idea.
"We could." Rodney agreed.
Vala looked down at his chest. He wasn't the most attractive man she'd ever seen, but he was more unique then most people made him out to be.. Most of the things she had heard from people was simple things like he had a huge ego and his intelligence was one of the brightest.. Just one dimensional stuff.. But maybe he was more then that.. A part that he didn't let anyone else see.. It intrigued Vala and she wanted to look for that, but more so because he understood her. He didn't even really know her outside of reports before, but he had understood her better then anyone had before.
Vala ran her hands under his shirt to pull it off but he placed a hand over hers to stop her. Vala's face fell. Maybe she had read him wrong like Daniel. McKay just smiled at her.
"Maybe we should wait until we're..." He looked over, motioning around them. "Somewhere that's not a public space." He raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Not that I'm offended. I'm flattered that you're so eager." That's a first...
Vala's looked around taking in there location. It hadn't really thought about it until now. She turned back to Rodney with a smirk.
"Now isn't that an interesting idea?" She grinned dangerously.