A/N: This is my first Twilight fic. It's set post Eclipse. Bella returns to Forks after running away from the two men that loved her. Will she be able to pick up the pieces she left? Basically a Bella/Jacob story.
P.s. I obviously don't own any of the characters.
Pieces
Chapter One
The wind whipped through my hair as I rolled down the window my truck. I couldn't tell you what truck it was, being unable to converse in the language of car, but this one went faster than my old one, quieter too. I kept my eyes on the endless stretch of road, reminding myself why I had chosen to return to Forks. The town became a part of me since I lay foot there and I was connected to the place, no matter how vehemently I attempted to deny it.
I would have never thought my life would have turned out this way when I moved in with my dad four years ago. I was caught up in a world far greater than my mind could previously ever comprehend and despite my attempts during the last twelve months to wipe my attachment to Forks, too much had transpired here for me to ever forget. My behaviour since I left was what some would call reckless, but considering the choices I was faced with, I hardly considered it so. Those choices. I had run away from them, hoping that someday they would pass like a fading dream. And yet here I was.
My hands felt like ice on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. I looked into my side mirror. My usually pale face now looked gaunter than ever, my cheeks sunken in. Dark circles lay under my eyes. I wondered what Charlie would think when he saw me. Charlie. My stomach knotted at the thought of him. I had left with no warning, no note that night. I couldn't have told him about what was going on in my life. Those were not my secrets to tell.
He must have been heartbroken after he found me gone. I hadn't even bothered to let him know I was okay until I reached New York. A bunch of words scrawled on a scrap piece of paper was all he found in his mailbox. No contact details, no nothing. How could I tell him that the reason his daughter left home was because she was too scared to enter the world of the living dead, to get married to a vampire, to give up her friends and family all in the name of love? Of course, by then I was too strung out to care. I was experiencing thrills of a different nature.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. That life was behind me now. I was entering a new phase. I thought about my future. Here I was, coming back to Forks. But for what? I wanted to start over. New York had seemed like the perfect place. The big city where I could live out my dreams of being somebody who mattered. But I was quickly taken down a path of self destruction. Mixing with the wrong crowd. I rolled my eyes at the thought. Because vampires and werewolves were so much better. I spent countless nights seeking soaring highs but instead it was solid ground I craved inside. I needed stability. I needed security. I needed warmth.
Jacob. It was useless trying to convince myself that he wasn't a reason that I had chosen to return. Things between us had ended in a way which tore at my insides. Like my father, I had left him in the dark. My best friend. My personal sun. No doubt he would be beyond angry at me for taking off like that. I hoped to try and salvage the pieces of our broken friendship. If he would allow it. It was hell being unable to turn to anyone for comfort. I just hoped that he would take me back. I thought of La Push and the pack. Sam and Emily were probably married now. Quil, Embry, Jared, I had missed them all. I thought of my girl friend Angela Webber. I felt a strangled breath leave my lips. I was a terrible excuse for a human being. What would Edward say?
And there was Edward. Naturally I had made no contact with him either. I had let him know that I no longer wished to be with him, refusing to acknowledge the tears in his topaz eyes and his crumpled marble form as I walked out. I was a coward. I sighed. I had turned my back on all those who loved me purely for the reason that I was too weak to deal with my own actions.
After driving for what felt like hours, I looked up at the sign: You are now entering the town of Forks, Washington. I drank in the lush green foliage as I drove towards Charlie's house. His cruiser was in the driveway so he was home. I parked my truck and put on my rain jacket. I took a few deep breaths and stepped out of the vehicle, making sure not to slip in the patches of mud. My utter lack of coordination was one thing that hadn't changed. I heard the shuffling of footsteps coming towards the front door as I approached. I lifted my hand to knock but was met with a surprised glance.
"Bella?" Charlie whispered hoarsely. I took one look at his wide eyes and burst into tears.
"Are you sure you don't want anything else?" I gripped the steaming cup of coffee in both my hands.
"No thanks dad." I stared down at the kitchen table as I felt salty tracks drying on my cheeks. We sat in silence for what felt like an hour.
"Bella we need to talk about this. I'm cancelling my shift." Charlie reached for the phone.
"Dad, don't cancel for my sake." I pleaded.
"I think I'm entitled to a break the day my only daughter decides to show up at my doorstep after a year don't you?" I winced as he spoke those words. "Bella... what happened? You know you can always tell me the truth. I know it's my fault our relationship has always been a bit distant..."
"Dad. It's not your fault. You've tried as much as you possibly could. I've been so ungrateful." I paused. "There are some things which I can't explain, like why I left."
"It was that Cullen wasn't it?" Charlie furrowed his brows. I knew it as soon as they left. It was a few weeks after you went missing." He added at my obvious expression of surprise. "I knew he was no good for you, I just didn't think that he'd have the nerve to do something like that."
"Dad, it wasn't his fault. I left on my own accord. I just couldn't bear to be here anymore. Being around him, I just couldn't handle it."
"So you left. No indication to anyone who might have cared about you." Charlie stated blankly. I didn't disagree with him. I knew he was right.
"It was better that you didn't know where I was. Trust me." I took a sip of coffee. "I needed some time to be on my own, get away from it all. I'm back now." I looked up at him. "If you'll have me."
Charlie sighed. "Of course Bells. I'm your father and this will always be your home." I smiled at him. "But you have to understand that not everyone will be as welcoming." I nodded. Of course they wouldn't. I was pathetic, asking for forgiveness that in their eyes, I clearly did not deserve. I ran my pale fingers over the handle of the coffee mug. "Your things are still in your room. If you're going to stay then you'll need a job. I'll ask around for you if you want."
"Thanks dad." I glanced at Charlie and smiled. A real smile. "Dad..." I faltered. "Is Jake um... still around?" Charlie let out a sigh.
"You better be careful about what you're doing Bella." He warned. "Perhaps you should give it at least a few days before you visit La Push." So he hadn't left.
"You see him often?" I asked hesitantly. Charlie nodded.
"He comes fishing with us sometimes. Bells I gotta tell you, he was awful quiet those first few months. Like a shadow of his usual self. He wouldn't speak to anyone for weeks." I felt a pang in my gut. "He was devastated when you left. I don't think he could take it if you were to leave again."
"I'm not going to leave again." I said resolutely.
"If you say so." Charlie replied. "You look like you could use a shower." I nodded. "Towels are upstairs."
I stood under the hot water, letting it beat against the muscles of my back. The Cullens had left. That was one less thing to deal with and honestly it was a little relieving. I had to go and talk to Jacob. I couldn't not know what was going to happen with us. The thought of having to face him made me squirm. It would be harder than facing Charlie had been. Jacob was the one person that I had no secrets from, he deserved so much more than any of the lies I that would have to tell the others. Jake was well... he had been my solid ground, my personal sun. He had mended the hole in my heart when Edward had left and I had loved him for that. It hurt me that I couldn't have given him more of myself, I owed him that much.
It was my pull towards Edward that had kept me from being with Jacob; I knew that in my heart. I was too swept up in the idea of Edward to notice how much Jake meant to me. Had the circumstances been different I'm not sure what would've happened. The idea of being Jacob sounded foreign. Maybe he had changed? I knew that I had changed. I doubted that we would ever be able to go back to the way things were. We would have to start our relationship over.
The water ran cold before I got out of the shower and dried my hair. It was long now, coming down past my shoulders. I needed a haircut badly. I changed into my old pyjamas and took out a piece of paper. I made a list of errands I needed to run, things I needed to buy. If I was going to start over I needed to reassemble myself. I needed new clothes first.
I lay on my bed, wondering if my sleep was going to be filled with nightmares as it had been almost every night since I left. I thought about what I was going to say to Jacob when I finally did see him. My eyelids felt heavy as I pictured what he might look like.
The next day was filled with little tasks, letting mum and Phil know where I was, paying bills, that sort of thing. I stopped to do a bit of grocery shopping for Charlie too. It was at the store that I ran into Mike Newton.
"Bella?" I whipped my head around. "Bella! What are you doing here?" I was going to have to get used to that question pretty quickly.
"I'm back." I tried to give him a small smile but it came out as a grimace instead. Mike nodded.
"We should catch up then." The one of the few things that I liked about Mike was that he was always open to me.
"Sure." I paid for the groceries at the register. "I gotta go but give me a call sometime and we can arrange something."
"Will do. Nice seeing you Bella." I hauled the groceries back to the truck and drove home. The weather was wet and cold. Not unusual for Forks. I felt calmed by the greenery. I was driving for ten minutes when I thought I noticed something in the woodland. It was a flash of black and it was gone as soon as it came. I didn't think too much of it. After all, the woods had its fair share of creatures.
My second night back in Forks was not as peaceful as my first. I woke up sweating through my tank top after having a dream about falling face first into a pile of needles. Some of my demons I had not completely forgotten about. I across my room to my window and pulled it open, welcoming the cool breeze against my chest. Untying my hair, I let it fall down my shoulders and surveyed the view from my window. The trees had grown slightly, their foliage much denser than when I had seen it last. I shuddered slightly when I saw an owl, its yellow eyes piercing. And it was that moment when I looked down that I spotted another pair of eyes looking back at me with disbelief.
"You have got to be kidding me."
I almost fell out of my window. I hadn't expected to see him here. Not so soon. I wasn't prepared for this.
"Jacob, I ..." no words came. He narrowed his dark eyes at me, seemingly taking in my dishevelled appearance.
"Come downstairs, or let me come up, either way we need to talk."
"I'll come down. Just give me a minute." I wrapped an old threadbare robe around me and tied it around the waist before quietly treading down the stairs. Opening the front door, I walked out to the side of my house where he was standing. "So..."
"So," he repeated. "You're here."
"Mhmm. I'm back." I attempted a smile. Jacob looked at me sideways.
"Why?" I stopped. Why was I back?
"I missed home."
"I see." I looked up at Jake. He had become the Jacob I remembered just after he found out he was a werewolf. His shiny black hair was cropped short again and he was wearing Sam's hard look on his face. It didn't sit right on him though. It didn't suit him, made him look older, cold. He took in a deep breath. "You're still human I take it."
"Yeah." I shifted uncomfortably. "I couldn't deal with the whole eternal damnation thing." I laughed feebly.
"So how long were you going to wait until you came to see me?" he asked, ignoring my attempt to lighten the mood.
"I..." He looked at me curiously. "A couple of days. I only got back last night."
"Huh." Jacob ran his large hand through his hair. "The bloodsuckers are gone you know. In case you were hoping to come crawling back to that leech." I stared at him. That was a low blow even for Jake.
"Now just you hold on a minute. How dare you insinuate..." I could feel teeth chatter as I balled up my fists at my side.
"Oh come on Bella! What the hell am I supposed to think?" He hissed. "You run off without any warning whatsoever. No contact. Left the rest of us here wandering if you're dead or alive. Then the Cullens disappear."
"It's not like that Jake." I warned. "It's nothing like that." I thought of the months I spent trying to forget about them all, the lengths I went to for any sort of distraction. I must have let out a slight whimper because Jacob's mask slipped momentarily.
"Then what is it?" The facade was in place again.
"It's...complicated." I realised how lame I sounded. "I can't explain everything. At least not right now. I need time." I sighed. "I didn't come back for the Cullens, for Edward." The air filled with silence as I stared at my feet.
"Did you come back for me?" Jacob asked softly. I realised that he was staring at me and I felt suddenly too vulnerable.
"Jake, please don't make this harder for me than it already is."
"I need to know Bella." He dug his hands in the pockets of his sweats. "Did you come back because of me?"
"You're my best friend Jake. I missed you. So yeah you could say that I did." I meant it. "I am so sorry. For everything. I know that doesn't even begin to cover it. I need time to make it up to you. I need you to forgive me." I looked down at the damp grass as I felt a hot tears leaking from my eyes.
"Bells..." I took in a breath as he spoke to me. "Are you really back?" I nodded hard as I tried desperately to blink the tears away.
Jacob's shoulders slumped. "I'll come by tomorrow and we'll talk okay?" I looked up at him as he edged closer. "Just don't look so helpless. It's hard to stay mad at you when you look like Bambi." He flashed the slightest of smiles as he said that. His smile. I couldn't help smile in return.
"Bambi?" He let out a low chuckle now and touched my shoulder, his hot skin searing into my own.
"Bye Bella." And with that, Jacob disappeared back into the woods with a run. I stood there dazed as I let the warmth spread through me. This seemed like a step in the right direction. I just hoped that we could return to some sense of normalcy. I had desperately missed the heat.
A/N: What do you think? Shall I continue with this story? Do you think the interaction between Bella and everyone else seems reasonable given the circumstances? Or do you think Jake needs to stay mad at Bella for a bit longer? Help me out a bit here – I'm not sure which direction to take this story.
P.S. I love REVIEWS, they really encourage me to write and will help me incorporate some of YOUR ideas into the story!!