Harry Potter and the Bazooka of Doom
A series of impossibly short chapters
As told to Varietygirl9143 by her brother (I own the Python's cheese shop)
Disclaimer for the whole thing: don't own it. Any of it. Not even a bazooka. Nuts.
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Harry Potter was a sad, sad boy.
He was going emo.
"I am going emo," he said dramatically to Ron and Hermione.
"Ok," they replied enthusiastically. "Whatever you feel you've got to do, Harry."
Harry nodded and then left Gryffindor Tower. In the space of five seconds he was in the Great Hall.
"WOW!" Dumbledore said. "HOW IN THE NAME OF MERLIN'S SHORTS DID YOU DO THAT???"
"Magic," Harry said dramatically.
"Oh."
"I have an important announcement to make: I, HARRY POTTER, AM GOING EMO. THAT'S RIGHT: EMO," Harry announced importantly.
"Right. Have fun with that," McGonagall said. Dumbledore snored. He had fallen asleep during Harry's all-important announcement as old people are apt to do.
Draco Malfoy drooled. "Emo boys are HOT."
Harry squirmed and then left the Great Hall. In the space of about 2.3 seconds, he was in the Room of Requirement. No walking in front of doors, no nothing. Just immediate entrance. That's what a VIP card gets you.
"OMG," screamed a random fangirl. "HOW IN THE NAME OF MERLIN'S SHORTS DID YOU GET UP HERE SO FAST!!!!!"
"Magic," Harry said not-so-dramatically.
"OH. I GUESS I WILL LEAVE NOW."
"Good."
"I'LL SEE YOU LATER, HARRY, YOU LITTLE LOVE MONKEY."
Harry squirmed some more.