*I own none of this. Credit goes to LucasArts and Obsidian*
I went to the cockpit like I always did between planets. Mainly to pick the next destination. Usually Atton was waiting there, ready to comment on the mission, but today he was just staring at the controls.
"Atton, is something wrong?" I asked, hoping that he wouldn't brush it aside.
He looked up at me, looking like he was debating something in his mind. "Nah, just lost in thought..."
Not satisfied with his answer I said, "You know you can tell me anything. I tend to be good at solving problems."
"I'm sure you are. But my problem can't be fixed."
"Well, why don't we try anyways." I said.
"Fine, Nevaeh, I'll tell you. Just try not to judge."
He continued, "During the Mandalorian Wars, I was sent to capture Jedi and torture them until they broke. The thing was, I enjoyed doing it and I was good at it." He paused to read my emotion, which was shock. He went back to his story, "People say that killing a Jedi is hard, but I knew exactly how to handle them. I knew ways to make them break, threats, saying you killed their Master, things that would go to their heart."
"Atton, that sounds horrible! How could you do that to the Jedi?" I exclaimed.
"See, the Jedi claim to be Guardians of Peace but then they just sat back and watched millions die! Youeven went against the council. Then everybody sided with you and Revan." He was getting madder by the minute, I knew I pushed it.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to get mad." I was aware that this wasn't going to be enough but I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Of course you are, you Jedi always are." He spat out Jedi like it was the worst insult he could think of.
And with that, our conversation ended.
A few days had passed from my fight with Atton. Since then I have tried to learn some stuff with Kriea, like how to feel everything throughout the Ebon Hawk. Kriea was showing me how to read people's thoughts. Everything was going fine until I read Atton's.
"...switch the face of the +1/-1 card, the totals are nine-ten. Switch the face of the +2/-2 card, the total is eight-eleven. Switch..."
"Why is Atton playing pazaak in his head?" I asked.
"Of course he was, he doesn't play, yet he counts the cards in his head. At times, he will list off engine sequencers, memorize hyperspace routes that are on the other side of the galaxy, count the ticking in the power coupling even though they are fixed. At other times... he will imagine certain... base lusts, certain... indignities."
I couldn't help but blush, Mira and I had a conversation about a certain pilot. Whether or not Kriea saw my blushing, she continued, "It may be Atton is far cleverer than he feigns to be. Or perhaps he is simply a fool."
"Maybe I will go check on him, to see how his game is going." I concluded before she could add more.
I then walked to the cockpit asking a question that has been burning in my mind for days. "Hey, Atton, can I talk to you?"
"What do youwant?" He replied angrily without turning to face me.
"Kriea was teaching me to feel the ship and I sort of read your thoughts, I am so sorry!"
"'Course you did. All you Jedi do it, sometimes without even realizing." Atton said it like it was common knowledge.
"If I may, why were you playing pazaak in your head?"
"In case any Jedi just want to walk right into my thoughts. They find it a lot harder if you block it."
"So you play pazaak to shield your thoughts? Can you teach me?" I asked trying to hide the begging tone in my voice.
"No, I can't teach you. I can only show you how to play pazaak. You have to do the shielding by yourself."
"Oh, I think I understand. Then can you teach me how to play pazaak?"
"There you go. You wanna deal or should I?"
"You can deal. And no, we are not going to play Nar Shaddaa rules." I said glaring at him.
He threw his hands up innocently, "Hey, I never said that we were. And if we were, I would give you a fair chance, 'cause right now, let's face it, you would be done in the first match."
After the match, Atton couldn't help but smirk at the look of frustration on my face.
"Is there another way to shield thoughts because right now, pazaak isn't looking so good." I asked hoping that he could think of another way.
"You could think about things that Jedi aren't used to like love, lust, jealousy, greed. Those kinds of emotions."
"Thank you for the lesson, Atton." And with that, I left the cockpit.
I went up to the cockpit a week after the fight with Atton, hoping we could talk about the subject again. He was checking all of the controls before we take off later that day. He saw me first before I could talk.
"Hey, Nev," I rolled my eyes at the sound of my nickname he gave me,"Everything is ready for later."
"Good. But, there was something I want to ask you."
"Somethin' up?"
"I was curious if you wanted to talk about the subject we left off on last week."
He let out a large sigh, "Fine. But you might not like it."
"I captured this one Jedi, but she was different. She wouldn't break and that means I would have to kill her without getting information. But, she told me that I had to run before the Sith found out. Of course I had no idea what she was talking about. She said I had the Force inside me, flowing like a current. Then, she made me feel the Force and everything around me. I couldn't take it so I ended her life right there. Funny, thing was, I loved her, not like that, but the feeling you get when you would do anything for somebody."
"Atton, I had no idea..." My voice trailed off because I had nothing else to say.
"I decided to listen to her though, after that day,I ran and found myself on Nar Shaddaa. The place where people get lost. Where I lost Jaq and became Atton again."
He continued,"And then I found you." I couldn't help but run up to him and kiss him on his cheek and hug him.
"Now, I feel ready to feel the Force again. To protect you when evil comes, or just to distract whatever comes through. Will you teach me?" He asked.
"Of course I can, a Jedi has to learn to forgive even the biggest mistake."
Fin.