A/N: This is just a bit of fluff inspired by the fact that I just experienced my first ever snowfall. It was kind of meant just to be friendship, but, as always, slashy undertones prevailed… Also, I have no idea what time of year it's actually supposed to be, and I'm too lazy to try to figure it out, so I took some liberties. (Mainly I just made it a month where it snows in Colorado. There are a lot of those, right? :p) Anyhoo, hope you enjoy!
Andrew had been unable to sleep more than a couple of minutes at a time since they had left Sunnydale. He had hoped that getting off the bus and into a bed would help that, but apparently not. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was her. Her death, fighting alongside him. He should have been able to do something. He should have been able to save Anya. And now, laying on a bed, twenty hours later, with his eyes shut tight, all he could see was her death. He had showered earlier, but still, he could feel the blood, itching at his skin.
Frustrated, he opened his eyes and threw the covers off of himself. He looked at the clock on the bedside, only to see it was still before midnight. Standing up, he walked over to the window and opened the curtains to see nothing but… white? It took Andrew a moment to register what he was seeing. Snow. It was snowing outside. For the first time in a long time, he could feel excitement welling up inside of himself. Quickly changing back into his clothes, he quietly made his way outside.
Andrew's first steps into the snow were tentative, but his trepidation faded away as he took in the sight. It never snowed in southern California, but now that he had seen this, he didn't know how he had ever lived without it. It was beautiful. The flakes falling gently from the sky were light and fluffy, leaving a thin layer of powder on the ground that Andrew was almost afraid to ruin. The sight of trees, cars, and buildings covered in snow was breathtaking, to say the least. Andrew found he didn't even feel that cold as he stood in the middle of the hotel parking lot, just letting the snow fall around him. He closed his eyes, and saw only darkness. He stood there for a long time, letting the moment wash over him.
"Andrew?" Andrew's eyes whipped open at the sound of his name. He looked around to see Xander standing a few feet away, looking sheepish.
"You couldn't sleep either?" Andrew asked, breaking the awkward moment.
"Yeah," Xander admitted. "It's just so strange to think about, you know? All of Sunnydale, everything I've ever known, gone, just like that." Andrew nodded in understanding. "Plus, I noticed it was snowing," Xander continued, a half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood. "This is one thing I've never seen in Sunnydale."
"It's kinda weird when you think about it," Andrew offered. "All the strange things we've seen, all we've been through, all the monsters we've battled, and yet, somehow we've never seen snow."
Xander nodded. "Just wish I had two eyes to see it with. It would be twice as beautiful."
A silence descended between the two men, but it wasn't awkward. Almost unconsciously, they shifted towards each other, each seeking the other's warmth. Soon enough, they were huddled side by side, just standing together in the snow.
The moment was broken all too soon, the silence broken by Andrew. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, looking down at the snow at their feet.
"Sorry about what?" Xander asked after a beat.
"I don't know. Everything. I'm sorry for forming the evil trio with Jonathan and Warren." Xander flinched ever so slightly at the name, but Andrew pressed on. "I'm sorry that Warren killed Tara, and that I killed Jonathan. God, I am sorry for that. Jonathan truly was one of the good guys."
"Yeah," Xander said, swallowing hard. "So was Tara."
Andrew nodded in sympathy before continuing on. "I'm sorry I couldn't save Anya." Xander looked at him in surprise. "I shouldn't have let her die. I should have saved her." There were tears forming in Andrew's eyes as he spoke, and Xander realized there were tears in his own eye, too.
"I'm sorry," Andrew whispered one final time, and with that they both broke down. Xander pulled the smaller man into a hug, and they stayed like that for a long time, crying for Anya, and for Jonathan and Tara, and for Sunnydale, and all the slayers they had left behind, and maybe even a little bit for Spike, who had given his life to save everyone.
After a while the tears subsided, and they broke apart.
"We should probably go back inside," Andrew said without moving.
"Yeah," Xander agreed, also remaining where he was. Feeling bold, Andrew slipped his hand into Xander's, and they stood that way for a long while, watching the snow for the first time in their lives.
Eventually the cold won out, and, hands still clasped, they went back inside the hotel. They reached Andrew's room first. Untangling his fingers from Xander's, he moved his hand to the back of Xander's neck. Meeting no resistance, he pulled the taller man down for a brief, chaste kiss.
"Thanks," Andrew said, releasing Xander. "For listening to me."
Xander stared at Andrew for a long moment before speaking. "Um, I don't suppose you would mind if I stayed here for the night would you?" Andrew blinked in surprise, and Xander continued, "It's just, I don't think I could sleep by myself, and everyone else is probably already asleep, and it would be weird if I just knocked on someone's-" Andrew cut off Xander's rambling with another kiss.
"Of course you can stay here," Andrew said firmly, finding it somewhat odd that he had suddenly become the calm one. Opening the door, he and Xander stepped inside. Without changing out of their clothes, they both flopped down on the only bed in the room. After a few minutes of rearranging, they both managed to fall into a peaceful sleep, Andrew lying half-on top of Xander.
And outside the snow continued to fall, turning the world white.
A/N: Yeah, I know, it sucks. But it was begging to be written. It was sitting there in my brain saying, "Please, write me!" Well, not literally, but you get my point. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! If you did (or even if you didn't) please drop me a review! I could use something to look forward to during finals week! ;)