Sock Goblins
"Otou-san!" The high-pitched cry of a child rang throughout the large house.
Silver hair flashed as a figure raced through the halls to the voice. The man could only imagine what had happened—over the years he had accumulated quite a few enemies that wouldn't be above hurting a child to gain revenge. "Kakashi—" Sakumo gasped then suddenly cut off at the state of his son's room. "What happened here?" He muttered to himself.
The little boy's black eyes shimmered with tears. He was at the epicenter of a crater of clothes that had been yanked from his drawers. Half of the clothes were too small for Kakashi, but Sakumo had never got around to doing house cleaning ever since his wife had died.
Sakumo sighed heavily. "Kakashi what did you do?"
"I-I can't find my socks." Kakashi wailed, devastated tone wrenching a thin smile from Sakumo considering the circumstances. He ruffled his son's messy hair. He gestured a compensating hand towards another pair of socks that had been tossed aside.
"What about those?"
"They're not the same!" The four year old shouted angrily. Despite being quite young, he still retained the piercing shouts when he was a baby. Except this time he wasn't wailing incoherently for food as a child but now for his favorite black socks.
"Why do you like those so much?" The jounin questioned. He had tortured shinobi, exploited personal weaknesses, endured the grueling psychology classes for the jounin exams, and had watched people crumple from things that only came from their minds—the human mind was a complex thing and Sakumo was still realizing he still had little understanding of it.
Which is why Kakashi and he proceeded to have a staring contest, the later still completely lost for the reason of Kakashi love of the socks as the former stared determinedly forward, trying to telepathically show his father how important it was to him.
Sakumo could feel a migraine forming. "Ah, Kakashi if it's so important let's go down to the clothing store and get new—"
"NO!"
Four hours later of desperate searching, Sakumo had finally managed to sedate Kakashi's sock-obsession enough to lure the child into a nap. Shutting the wooden door with all the stealth being a shinobi offered him, Sakumo exhaled audibly.
"Fun daddy times, huh?" Jiraiya smirked.
Sakumo glared jokingly, "You be quiet. You don't know my pain."
"So what's he all hung up about?" Jiraiya asked, following Sakumo to the kitchen, wooden sandals clacking against the flooring. He started going through the cabinets for food.
"You have horrible house manners Jiraiya," Sakumo sighed as the toad sage pushed past sacks of rice to look at Sakumo's smaller foods.
"You don't have any of the rice crackers I like," Jiraiya complained. "And don't change the subject!" He turned around and in the process knocked down a china teapot.
Sakumo rushed forward and stopped the blue porcelain from shattering onto the wood flooring. "Do you want to wake up him?" Sakumo grumbled.
"So grouchy! I remember when we were young and used to go to the bathhouses—" Jiraiya heaved a great sigh nostalgically.
"Jiraiya!" Sakumo's face reddened. "I never did that and you better keep your sticky fingers off Kakashi!"
Jiraiya smiled eagerly at the opening. "Oh yes—dear Kakashi! What was that traumatized him so?"
Sakumo facepalmed at his old friend, muttering something into his palm.
"What was that?" Jiraiya crooned (a rather disturbing noise from a man associated with toads, Sakumo thought).
"Socks." Sakumo groaned. "He's strung up on this pair of socks."
"Did they happen to be the beautiful and vibrant ones I got him?" Jiraiya asked cheerfully.
"Kami-sama, no." Sakumo absconded. "I think I burned those before."
"Really?"
"No but I'm wishing I did." Sakumo grumbled. "I don't know where they went. Maybe sock goblins. . . ."
Jiraiya's ears pricked. "Sock goblins? What sort of nonsense did your son get in your mind?"
Sakumo's blush returned. "Oh. It was this tale that my mother used to say. It's just a folk tale!" He protested as Jiraiya grinned at the prospect of an embarrassing story.
"Go on," Jiraya encouraged.
Sakumo groaned, "Well it's like the sock goblins take peoples' socks and that's why we lose socks. They use them for their nests or something like that. It's just folk tales though."
"Of course. I didn't take you for the sort to like that sort of thing." Jiraiya didn't listen to Sakumo's answer though, looking at the spot the china used to be. "A-hah! I knew you had to have some of them!" He pulled out a small package of rice crackers that had been nestled behind the teapot.
"Jiraiya! Unbelievable. . . ."
Kakashi pressed his ear against the wall, discerning sound.
". . . they happen to be the beautiful and vibrant ones I got him?" Kakashi recognized the deep rough voice to be Jiraiya. He seemed to smell like the fishstore to Kakashi, but his father had been attempting to teach Kakashi manners and it wasn't polite to tell people they stunk. That still didn't stop Kakashi's nose from wrinkling—from the scent as well as the thought of the disgustingly bright green frog socks Jiraiya had gotten from Kakashi before.
"Kami-sama, no. I think I burned them."
Kakashi knew as a fact that the socks, unfortunately, had survived any attempt on their lives.
"Really?" I wish, Kakashi grumbled. They were a shame to the rest of Kakashi's wardrobe which contained rather dull colors because 'a good shinobi could disguise himself' (a lesson repeated by Sakumo often when playing shinobi).
"No but I'm wishing I did. I don't know where they went. Maybe sock goblins. . . ."
Kakashi almost stood up in surprise. Sock goblins? He had never heard of them, and for a young four year old with a broad imagination, it was easy to imagine them: furry green beasts with snarling black maws with the remains of socks hanging limply from long gleaming fangs.
". . . like the sock goblins take peoples' socks and that's why we lose socks. They use them for their nests. . . ."
Kakashi stood up.
"What was that?" Sakumo looked around, zeroing in on the door of the kitchen. Kakashi?
"I dunno, it's probably nothin'. You got good defense here," Crumbs sprinkled Jiraiya's face as he munched on the rice crackers.
Meanwhile, Kakashi raced up the stairs to his bedroom, ready to execute his plan.
An hour or so later, Sakumo said goodbye to Jiraiya who had to leave.
"Make sure you have more rice crackers next time," Jiraiya spoke solemnly, serious face discredited by the white specks of food still on his face.
"Of course, bye." Sakumo closed the door.
"Call if you need help!" Jiraiya called as Sakumo headed upstairs to Kakashi's room. His nap would be about finished. Opening his door, Sakumo didn't know why he was surprised.
His son was now hunched behind his bed, staring intently at a circle of clothes in the middle of the room. There was a pair of atrociously green colored socks clenched in his tiny fist. A look of steely determination was upon his face (as steely as a child could get).
He looked up at his father as he entered. "Stop!" Kakashi shouted urgently before Sakumo could step upon the circle of shirts and pants. "That's the sock goblin's nest! I-I didn't have enough socks to make one out of them." He shuffled his feet awkwardly. "It'll come right?"
"What are you even talking about Kakashi?" Sakumo's eyebrow went up.
"I need to get my sock back so I'll trade these for my socks," Kakashi explained like it made perfect sense. When Sakumo didn't reply, he looked up uncertainty. "Will it not come? I don't know, can it sense that these socks are worse quality than mine so it won't want to exchange?"
"Kakashi . . ." Sakumo was unsure how to explain the non-existence of sock goblins.
Maybe he should call Jiraiya on his offer.
fin