Holy hard nipples it's cold, XieLel thought as she ran through the courtyard. The High Sorcerer was frail after her last battle. Her magic had finally taken its toll. Instead of expending mana when she cast spells, StriChixen absorbed it. Too many spells, too much mana in her body, and she would not live another year. XieLel was next in line for high wizard. A highly skilled technomage, XieLel would become the youngest high wizard in the history of LanLand. As such, she had to get her Final Task from StriChixen to become the next High Sorcerer.
XieLel skidded to a halt in the High Sorcerer's chambers.
"Master! How do you feel?" she asked as she lay, pale on her cot.
"I'm okay."
"HI OKAY."
"What," StriChixen said with a thoroughly perplexed face.
"Nevermind, Master," XieLel glanced down deferentially. StriChixen never understood the type of buffoonery called "dad jokes."
"Now, XieLel, you must traipse into the woods and find the Orb of the Holy Soul," explained StriChixen. The elderly secret CIA agent lets out an elderly cough.
"Ah, and many people have died on this mission, so , so for this mission, you will have two bodyguards-twins, KreDex and XistriK. Renowned warriors. KreDex is a superb archer, with skills of camouflage. XistriK is famous for her legendary skills with the sword. I know you two are socially awkward turtles, but come out. I am hip to these things."
Two figures emerged from the shadows of the room. One was cool. The other was KreDex.
Ah she has a strong case of chuunibyou, XieLel thought.
The other was KreDex.
"Hi. We're your body guards," running a hand through his socially awkward hair...
The other one (probably XistriK) leaned "cooly" against a chair. She moved to stand up. Slipped a bit. Righted herself.
KreDex and XistriK looked identical, regardless of opposite genders. However, KreDex had a softer side to him, with more sensitive feelings. His physique was strong, though. XistriK looked tougher. XieLel scrutinized them. I could make them into potatoes with a single thought, she said to herself.
"Hi your bodyguards," XieLel responded automatically.
XistriK and KreDex looked meaningfully (mostly with disdain) at each other.
They tilted their heads inward, knocking their heads and exclaiming in pain.
"Wha-"
"What" XitriK said a split second after KredeX.
"You killed it!" KreDex yelled.
"You're the one that said it on impulse!"
Failed twin telepathy? XieLel stared at them with a deadpan face. What a bunch of scrubs. They would make really nice potatoes. I'm kind of hungry. Hi kind of hungry.
"A-CAKCAKCAK," coughed StriChixen emphatically, hacking like a little girl with the flu and a terrible immune system.
A strident noise filled the air in the ghettos of LanLand. A girl held a sign. I will stop singing for money, it read in what seemed to be chicken scratch. A cart emblazoned with the symbol of the High Wizard drove past, then backed up. A figure emerged from the cart. The girl was never seen only remnants of the encounter were traces of ear blood from close contact with beastly singing. Surrounding bystanders were happy. There was finally peace in the darkened alley of LanLand hood.
StriChixen paused for a moment to prevent death by ejection of spittle but passed it off as trying to move on to another topic. It failed. Miserably.
"Alright, children. You young'uns are going to protect XieLel over here while she searches for the Orb of the Holy Soul. You do know what the Orb of the Holy Soul is, right?"
Everyone nodded in order to get the plot moving.
"You can trust me," said KreDex in an attempt to be brave. He failed.
"What he said," suavely said by XistriK. She succeeded.
XieLel noticed they didn't confirm yes. Potatoes would be a good snack, she thought. Okay, let's compose myself before I go anywhere with these losers. She patted her fluffy black hair, where a blue-striped headband laid.
They got into a carriage, to continue their journey.