Is there anyone left standing and breathing after last night's ep?... Yeah, I thought so.
For those of you that are still here, I wrote this pretty quickly, in the spur of the inspiration after the ep. I didn't release the frustration just yet. There were so many things I wanted them to say to each other. Don't get me wrong though, the interrogation scene was perfect. I was a mess sobbing on the floor but it was wonderful.
Thanks to those of you who take the time to read and review my stories. It means a lot.
Disclaimer: Still nothing.
He can't stay home tonight.
He should but she's everywhere in his mind.
Her hand in his. It was a comforting gesture.
But so much more.
Anyone who would have seen them would have agreed.
It was the symbol of their connection. Of something he couldn't find with anyone else but her.
The symbol of their love.
She told him.
She told everything. Her bare feelings. And he didn't say anything back.
It's eating him alive.
Because he loves her too.
He didn't know it before. He fooled himself into thinking it was just a play. A fling. A moment where he had been everything he could have ever wanted, maybe more, finally be free.
A moment wasn't meant to last.
But he wanted that now too. He wanted it forever.
He had a wife. He had children.
And his freedom was elsewhere.
He realized it when she exposed herself to him.
He knows she wanted to get him to talk but he saw it in her eyes.
She was telling the truth.
It hurt her.
Because he didn't say it back.
He hurt her.
Let her believe there wasn't a chance for them.
When all he can think about is her.
All the things he wants to say to her.
All these things he can't say to anyone else.
He can't sleep.
He leaves Jessica in the cold dark of their room.
His hand is killing him but it won't be enough to stop him.
He needs to get there. He needs to see her.
She needs to know.
He wants her hand in his again.
He just wants to hold her hand.
The knock on her door startles her.
She's still in the middle of her living room, her glass of wine in one hand, the empty bottle on the table.
She isn't sure just how drunk she are.
But she's fairly certain that she is in no state to meet with anyone.
She considers staying silent. Making them believe she's asleep.
What time is it anyway?
The knocking has stopped.
She thinks she can finally go back to her pathetic state.
Alone.
When she hears his voice.
"Carrie, it's me. Open up."
She freezes. Doesn't know what to do.
"I know you're here. Come on."
Her feet drag her to the door.
She opens it and here he is, looking better than earlier. Fresher. Still haunted.
He seems determined... and sweet?
"Sorry I didn't call. But I missed you."
She doesn't know what to say. She probably had way much more alcohol than she thought.
He can't be here. He doesn't want to.
She finally gets her voice back. Tries not to be shaky.
"We saw each other a couple of hours ago." She smiles nervously.
"I didn't tell you the whole truth."
"No?"
"Can I come in?"
She's stressed out. She's in no condition to speak about Abu Nazir, about torture nor terrorists.
But he's here. And he wants to talk.
So she steps aside so he can come in.
"Ask me again."
"What?"
"What you asked me earlier in the interrogation room."
"I asked you plenty of questions."
"You know what I'm talking about."
"No, I..."
"What, you're too coward to ask me in private? Was it all just an act too?"
Her mouth opens but no noise gets out.
Oh.
He wants to talk about that.
Feelings.
Their feelings.
She isn't sure she is able to talk about that either.
"So?"
She barely dares to watch him in the eye.
It had felt good earlier. To tell him everything.
Here she feels cornered. Like there's no issue.
"Do you... um, do you have feelings for me?"
Her voice is insecure.
There's a beat.
She's on the verge of panicking.
"Yes."
What?
She looks up to find him looking right at her, right through her.
Expecting. Like that day in the cabin.
So, are we going to try this sober?
"Yes, I do have feelings for you."
She searches his eyes and all she sees is sincerity and love.
"I couldn't tell you back there. But I can now."
"Why?"
"I realized I can't be with anyone but you."
"Look, I know what I said in the room but you have a family. I – I don't expect you to leave them."
"I know." The dilemma is patent on his face. "But I want to be with you."
Carrie shakes her head.
"No. No. We can't be together. We only hurt each other."
"But you love me."
"Of course I do. It's not the point, we..."
She can't finish her sentence because suddenly she feels his lips pressed against hers. With so much desperation, like he couldn't wait anymore.
Her eyes are watery, a tear running freely on her cheek, but it feels so good.
The way he holds her.
Her hands are lost in his neck and on his hair.
She doesn't control them, all she can think of is kissing him back.
He breaks the kiss slowly, moves back a little but doesn't let her go.
"You were right. It feels good to say the truth."
They smile.
Happy. For now.
As she goes for another kiss, he goes for her hand.
He can finally hold her hand again.
So, what do you think? I'm afraid it's a little more fluffy than intented but, oh well, they deserve a little peace too!
I might write another chapter. M-rated, if you know what I mean. It's up to you!