Welcome, welcome! Im glad you checked this out. For this, is a show of torturing Sasuke-teme! (sorry to all those Sasuke fans out there) I do not advise eating or drinking while reading this. Be happy you saved your computer from a drippy mess. Oh and, one more thing, I wrote this for fun. For all the smiles and weird expressions out there when all of you read this. :D
P.S. I do not belong in a mental hospital. ^.-
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Sasuke: Hi...*looks around nervously, unsure of the huge tree cutting machine sitting at edge of stage*
Me: Sasuke-kunnnnnnnnnnnn! You are late! Unrealistically, absurdity, stupidly late!*Drags the short guy over to huge human sawing machine*
Sasuke: Excuse me? 1/1000000000000000000*pants after saying all the zeros* of a second is not late!
Me: So is, you're so stupid.
Sasuke: Then you're stupider.
Me: *singing* Im sorry but thats currently not a word in the english dictionary!
Sasuke: I don't spend my time arguing with stupid people*makes the annoying "hn" sound*
Me: *Explodes with fury* The lassstttt strrraaawww. *drags Sasuke over to rubber cliff* Down you go.
Sasuke:*trembles with fear* Ahh... my sweet beautiful darling... spare my life.
Me: *Takes minute to process all of that* I am pretty! An angel from the heeaveenssssssss. *sings* But go die in a hole. *shoves*
Sasuke: *falls down the rubber cliff* Noooooooooo!
...
Sasuke: Ugh, where am I?
Me: Hospital man, you're so stupid.
Sasuke: Well, you are also so stu-...*pauses after seeing huge chainsaw appear out of nowhere* umm... stunning!
Me: Why thank you, now shut up and heal so we can continue this freak show.
Doctor: Miss... umm, Uchiha? Are you Sasuke-kun's mom?
Me: *fireballs burn around the doctor's head* Em hem, I seem to have misheard you. The old age must be getting to the cotton stuffed Sasuke's in my ear. What was it again? Old age? Am I realllllyy that old?*Death grin*
Doctor: *apolaizes* ma'm... you're umm... husban-...*stops after seeing second death glare* (the glares are just like Gai's 7 gates, they get stronger and scarier.)
Me: What was that againnnnnnnn?
Sasuke:*Chuckles, grins ear off (like his ear acutely fell off) Happy to know he wasn't the one being chewed out*
Doctor: Anyway...*hesitating because trying to choose the correct words* you have been diagnosed with the deadly supreme stupidicus disease, called Devvy Prehny. It makes the user extremely stupid and body parts start falling off. Sometimes...
Sasuke: *raises eyebrow so hard, eyebrow falls off too*
Doctor: Of course... we have to stitch the eyebrow and ear back on... but that's easy. The only way to treat the disease is to...kiss the person that gave it to you!
Me:*chokes on water and spills all over iphone that has been playing on. Minion run is murdered by a cascade of breakfast.(see what happens?)* What the... actual heck!? ROAARRRRRR *the third death glare opens!*
Doctor: And that would be you miss... cause you pushed him down the... umm... rubber cliff...
Sasuke: KISS!? I would rather be infected with this disease all my life than kiss this rubbish!
Me: LIKE I WOULD WANNA KISS YOUR SHRIVELED UP LIPS! *Vampire teeth pop out*
Doctor: Well... miss-
Me: ARG! Let me kill the impudent little rat! How dare he say I'm rubbish!*pounds on Sasuke's back with pure fury... so hard a rib pops out*
Sasuke: MY BACK! MY BACK! *then realizes this makes no sense.(yea readers, pounding on your backbone can not trigger for a rib to pop out, which is on the other side of a human's body. However, such levels of stupidity has reached Sasuke, that this is very possible.)
Doctor: Calm down Miss, I just want to say-
Me: ARGG! DIE INA HOLE! *Pounds on Sasuke's head until tiny dime sized brain popped out*
Sasuke: *stares intently at the shrived lump of brain on my palm, momentarily surprised* MY BRAINNNNNNNNNNN!
Me: Not bad, at least you have one... *starting to fear Sasuke's fury.* Here you go... *tries to shove back into hole in Sasuke's head* But I still don't wanna kiss you!
Doctor: Miss... I've been trying to say this whole time... that this disease wears off in ten minutes. Kissing merely speeds up the process.
SASUKE AND I: DOUBLE DEATH GLARE ATTACK! *Doctor shrinks in fright and tip toes out the door*
DIEEEEEEEEEE... last word before Sasuke and I charge at each other.
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And done! How'd you like it? It was sorta weird at times... I bet Sasuke would appreciate all the reviews coming... so dont forget! The review button is right down there... Oh and, we can also be asked to preform at birthday parties with the actual Sasuke! Hope you had fun reading! Until next time.
-Naruto016