A/N: This is my first fanfiction on this website, so I would love some feedback. I'm not sure how many of these I'll do but I will be writing a series of consecutive drabbles on the beautiful couple that is, Royai. I hope you all enjoy!
Royai Drabbles: Alone
She was nothing more than a walking shell. Every emotion that once swept through her insides, left with him. It did not hurt, nor was it sad, for it was hard to pinpoint any feeling at all. She was empty. A hollow vessel that meandered about the everyday tracks of a hardly satisfying life.
Her warm brown eyes once swirling with life were now nothing more than frozen pools of mud. The skin on her face that, only weeks ago, was teeming with happiness had become so gaunt that her cheekbones could have punctured a floating balloon.
Every movement was now a task. The steps that led from her isolated room to the damp kitchen seemed to take a physical toll on her lungs. Her breathing would hitch, her chapped lips would continue to dry, even swallowing would be considered quite the hassle. Not a single muscle of her being wanted to move. Laying face down, sprawled out on her twin bed was the only thing Riza ever wanted to do anymore.
She was alone and had never felt so empty.
The passing of her father a few days prior only added to the emptiness that now had a hold on her life. Even though her relationship with him was anything but special, he was her father and up until now he had been her only constant.
Riza had been terrified of him - a man who lived and breathed for his work. Alchemy was number one and somehow Riza doubted that she was even number two.
However, at least the unsettling relationship with her father had always been there. Their conversations may have consisted of few or even none at all, but she still felt as though his presence alone was enough to keep her company. But he's gone, thought Riza, and he, like the rest, will never come back.
Each night, as she rest her head against the cushioned pillow, her tears would make their marks and disguise soft, beautiful face behind a sheet of hurt and loneliness. There was no longer such thing as sleep, for the darkness was permanent. On days where the sun was at its peak and the grass was at a shade of inviting green, Riza's life still held no light. The switch was off, and she had been plunged into a void of black.
On her nightstand is where it sat. The small piece of white paper lay crinkled - it was the epitome of everything that went wrong. It sat there, day after day, as though it were mocking her. Riza felt dead, but it was that piece of flimsy white that kept her so alive at the same time. The words on the paper allowed for the fire in her heart to kindle, just barely.
Those words. They kept her alive, but at a price. It's equivalent exchange, he said. It's the only way the world can move forward and take course.
Equivalent exchange. The concept that brought the world together, yet tore Riza's life apart. And to think, it was all because of alchemy. Alchemy. The very reason Riza cried into her covers at night, it is the reason that she now walked around this world with a broken soul, the very reason they were both gone. She hated it with every fiber of her own being. It was alchemy's fault; for it was supposed to better the lives of the people, not destroy them.
The alchemist. A power hungry creature, she was convinced. They strive for the knowledge that they do not hold, completely breaking themselves in the process. It is the alchemist's anguish that corrupted the science. The seeking of the unknown that brought people to their very demise. It's our job as alchemists to search for ways to better ourselves. To better the people Riza! How could she believe such? All alchemy had done for her was present her with a scar on her back and allowed the people she held closest to vanish. She was just another resource - she had never felt so used.
The flames that encompassed her back were burned with regrets from her past. She had been turned into nothing more than walking research notes and she was a fool to think he would have treated her any differently. I promise I will not abuse this power, Riza. It is meant to be out little secret. But that's all her life was - a secret. Since he had entered her life, she used lie after to lie to cover up the many truths that dwelled within her. She had been young, naive to say the least, and she should have realized that he - an older man - was taking advantage of her. She was a fool.
Riza now accepted the fact that she was unwanted. That she was alone and that was how it was supposed to be. I'm there for you, Riza. The constant lies. I promise I will never do anything to hurt you. Her life was nothing more than a thickly woven lie. I will never leave you. Lies. I love you, Riza. I do. Lies, lies, lies.
There were too many promises broken, too many missing pieces, too impossible to put back together. It would take too much work, work that Riza believed was too much effort.
Then, it all happened on a dull Wednesday morning. Riza lifted herself out of bed as the inky sky began to drip with color. Her eyes shifted to the window - streaks of light were held back by the dusty curtains - but it seemed one sliver of sun slipped in.
Riza's pupils shifted to the streak of light that now seemed to illuminate the whole room. She slowly cocked her head and watched as tiny particles of dust were raised from the floor. As minutes passed, and the sunlight only grew brighter, Riza began to understand. It was as though the small fire in her heart has burst into something so much more. I know what I must do, she thought.
Quickly, she bolted out of bed and threw an old jean jacket over her Victorian nightgown. She grabbed something off the nightstand and ran from the room. Her feet knew where to go.
It was the fastest Riza had moved in weeks. As the door to the rickety house slammed behind her she felt the cool breeze nip around her cherubic face. Her bare feet scraped against the rocky ground and she felt the small pebbles indent themselves into the delicate skin, but the rocks could not stop her at a time like this. Riza was on a mission.
Her destination was right across the street. A field of golden wheat that radiated in the autumn dawn. The stocks had grown up to her waist, but Riza moved quickly through the tangled mass. Only the sound of the withering wheat whirling against her body was audible. It was when she neared the edge of the field that she dropped down to her knees. It's around here, I know it is.
Riza's hands started to dig into the dried earth, at this point she didn't even mind that her white nightgown was filthy. The dirt accumulated under her fingernails, but she kept digging. It was a mere minute later when Riza pulled a silver object from the ground. She clutched it hard in her hand and whispered, "I know what to do."
She pulled the object that was previously on the nightstand from her pocket - it was the small paper. She held it between two fingers and lifted it to the sun. The words were clear against the morning sky.
Riza, you can call me anytime at the number I have given you. I will miss you, but I had to leave. I'm sorry. Things will be better this way.
The words that broke her heart now stared her straight in the face, and this time, she stared right back. This time there were no tears, no whimpers, there was something new in her heart.
She spoke again, "I know what to do... And I must stay strong. For I am my own person and you do not own me. I realized this morning that there is so much more to life than sitting back and waiting for you to create your life. For why wait when I can create my own?"
She let go of the paper and the wind quickly grabbed hold of it. However, as it flew towards the sun, Riza took the object she had pulled from the ground and held it upwards. It was the silver pistol he had given her for her seventeenth birthday, she buried it away the day he left. "You do not own me." She stated as she closed one eye, focused on her target, and pulled the trigger.
The paper disappeared - the target had been hit.
Riza pulled her lips into a small grin, "I'm coming for you, Mustang. I will not let you leave me just yet."