Perfection
An Itachi one-shot
By assassinkarena
Dedicated to: ButterflyEmbraceThis story will be told in Itachi's POV
****
When you describe perfection, how you would say it? Flawless? Amazing? Extraordinary? Bizarre? Beautiful? Perfection is an inexplicable word that I soon came to understand in my spoiled life. In our world of imperfections, I seemed to find one being that could fit that exact description. It's absolutely absurd of me to be thinking this; a human being could not be perfect. But her...she was no ordinary being. I think I could make an exception. She is what you would describe as a perfect.
****
The sadness of the world drenched me in a curtain of shadows. Nothing that I could see would ever be the same again. As a shinobi, if you could live the life of luxury, you could not possibly by a shinobi at all. And if you were as I, the perfect shinobi, life for you was rough, hard, yet at the same time so many looked up to you as a role model. It was difficult of course, you had to hold up a reputation and you also had to get better and better or else people would be unhappy. No matter how hard you try, the preposterous superiors would always gaze down on you and say you needed to do better. Never a good job, just do better.
From the corner of my eye I looked over to my right at the girl that was sitting four seats away from me. Her long, dark hair flowed as she moved. The way she moved...more graceful than a dancer, more elegant than anything I've ever seen, her frame so small and fragile, yet sturdy enough to fight back at whatever came back at her, her mind purely intelligent that none could stand up against her mentally. Not even me. Yet all at the same time, she would never flaunt, she was always so humble, so kind.
Yet why was she so mysterious to me? It was completely frustrating that I couldn't see what she was like. I had hidden my emotions enough times to know when someone else was doing the same. I couldn't get inside her head. I wanted to though...every little secret of hers I wanted to find out. I wanted her to tell me everything she thought. She had so many friends, unlike me, but yet at the same time was she still trying to reject them? The way she spoke and persuaded things seemed as if she wanted them to go away. Why was this?
She glanced at me and I quickly turned my head before she saw me looking at her. I was ashamed of myself for staring. It was not like me...what was I thinking? I could feel her hazel eyes staring me down. It was almost intimidating...yet at the same time it was so exhilarating. It was like every nerve in my body was jumping haywire. I didn't understand this feeling, yet I didn't want it to go away. I liked it too much.
I heard the girls that were talking with her giggle and I looked away even more and pretended that I was completely hypnotized by the trees outside. The way they swayed back and forth was beginning to make me calmer. I liked this feeling better. I could understand it.
I sighed aloud and tried to clear my thoughts, but the only thing that kept popping into my mind was her. I looked over at her again. She was still looking at me, a slight smile on her face. I couldn't help but accept that smile as genuine. Some people just smile just because they can get to other people's hearts and then break them when they're done. They sicken me...
Some of the girls that were talking to her came over to me and sat on the table.
"So Itachi, what are you going to do later?" one of them asked.
I had completely ignored her. If there was something as a cold shoulder, then she just got blown away by a blizzard. I didn't even know her name, apparently she knew mine though.
"I wanted to know because Amy wanted to know if she could get some lessons from you."
I looked at her the slightest bit; I think I gave too much of a mean stare. She cringed the tiniest bit and I think that I had freighted her. Oh well. It didn't seem to bother me that much. I didn't know if it was the fact that I didn't really have that much emotion, or if it was because of the fun out of scaring the little girl that was in front of me.
"I don't mind." I said quietly.
They squealed and it was rather high pitched, it hurt my ears, I couldn't complain to anyone though, and the rest looked just the same as me - annoyed.
They ran back to her and Amy furrowed her eyebrows. I heard one of the girls talk about her and I, gossiping briskly. It annoyed me a little bit, why did every girl talk about me and her or her and I? Each girl did it a little differently, they always had their own fantasy about how I would ask them out and we would live a life of luxury and no worry at all.
How wrong were they?
It sickened me to the pit of my stomach to think that first; I would even ask any of them out. Second, we always had to worry, in this world of its incoherent thoughts and actions; you would never tell what anyone would do.
Oh well, it was nothing that I could really do to change any of that. I shouldn't think of such ridiculous things. I looked over at Amy again and sighed to myself. She wasn't like the other girls; I gave the girl credit for that. I couldn't stand the way that she looked at me though. It was as though she didn't even who I was. I was the best of the best, the best shinobi you would come across at the age of thirteen. Did she not know who she was dealing with?
Yet at the same time...it felt... congenial to know that at least someone saw me as something different than just the perfect person. But...
For that perfect person to happen, all of my emotions have almost been lost to oblivion.
Almost...
That little aspect of emotion that still resides in me I can't seem to figure out what it is. It's difficult to find out what that single emotion is. What could it possibly be? I have always wanted to be the perfect shinobi; I have always wanted to be the best that I could possibly be...
Right?
Wrong.
That is my father's choice. He is the one that set me up to do this. For me to have no life, and I can't choose anything for myself even if I wanted it desperately. My father couldn't stand to see me lose, but yet at the same time when he saw me when, he didn't say anything in gratitude. He just looked at me with those coal black eyes and stared. Knowing what I have done but just have said "get better". He had high expectation of me. But haven't I already exceeded that?
****
The time was around six. Amy was coming soon.
I waited around for her to arrive. She said that she would be here around six thirty. I just wanted to get here early. If she didn't get here in time though, I would leave; I wouldn't want to waste more of my time.
Yet at the same time I wanted to stay, I wanted to see her face. I wanted to know what she was thinking. I wanted to know what it would be like to talk to a human being without being awed at. If she did, she did. If she didn't, she didn't.
I heard a crack of a leaf and I turned my head to see her standing there. She looked the same as always; regular long midnight blue hair held back in a ponytail but left some of her bangs to the side. The blue bow that held it together was still intact in her soft hair, her red dress that went down a little past her thigh, her knee high black socks and her brown shoes. She didn't look like a typical shinobi, but then you saw the sword that was on her side and you had to rethink. Her hands looked too soft to hurt anything, let alone kill. I looked at her eyes; they were rather strange for a normal person. They were hazel, a soft gold color that reminded me of a topaz gem of some sort.
She looked at me with a light smile on her face, she was too nice.
"Hello Itachi."
That's all that she said. She didn't scream, shrill, or fight some other girl at the sight of me. It was such a relief, but it was kind of confusing. I didn't really know how to take it.
"Hello." That was all that I could really manage to say.
She walked passed me and set her things down on a rock that was nearby. Her soft hair caressed my arm as she passed me. I closed my eyes and savored it.
What was I thinking? She was just here to train, to get better as a shinobi. I shouldn't be thinking of these things.
I quickly got rid of the thoughts in my head and turned to her.
"What is it that you wanted to practice on? Any certain thing? Weapon use? Stamina? Speed?" I suggested.
"Jutsu." She replied.
I stared at her. Not many shinobi of our age could do many jutsu's. If I didn't really come from a good and wealthy clan, I wouldn't be a strong as I am now. Amy came from the Mizuno clan. They were well known as well. They just weren't that well known as the Uchiha clan. I never really got to experience what kind of style they really use. Amy never really fought in class, and I didn't get to see her on missions because she wasn't on my team. I was interested in knowing how strong she was.
"Jutsu? What kind of jutsu's do you use? So you have any nature ability?" I asked her.
"Yes, water." She replied. Her eyes were calm, yet at the same time they were so inexplicable. I couldn't sense what she was thinking at all. Her eyes were not the windows to her soul. There must have been some other way to read what she was thinking, or at least feeling. Was she feeling anything for me at the moment?
Why was I even caring? It didn't matter.
"Alright, do you think that you could show me some of the jutsu that you use?" I asked her as I stepped behind her so that she could use her attacks in front of her.
"Of course." She replied as she started to do some hand signs, "Suiton, Suigadan no jutsu!"
Water came from out of the ground and made the form of a torpedo. It was aimed for a tree and it tore it down and the next tree behind it and the next and the next.
I was impressed, it was pretty good technique, especially for her age. Not many people could pull it off and still look like they had a pretty good amount of chakra afterwards.
"That was…good." I said to her, I didn't really know how to say it any other way. I couldn't exactly just lie to her. She wanted to know how she was doing, and I truthfully didn't see anything wrong with it. But did she see something that I didn't?
"There was something wrong with it. When it made the shape it wasn't sharp enough. It couldn't have gone through many more trees at least. How do I shape my chakra so that it will become sharper?" she asked.
I was extremely impressed. I thought that my techniques were great, and I could pinpoint a problem if there ever was one. But her…she recognized something that didn't really need to be fixed. She was improvising on her own jutsu so that it could become better. I had better keep that in mind.
"Okay, well something that you could do is to just concentrate more on the very front of the technique. I think that you think that you need to concentrate on the whole part. You have to do that too don't worry, but if you could more of your concentration on the very front of it and make it smaller and sharper then I believe that your technique will be better." I said to her. I hoped that that helped.
"Okay," she said as she started to do the hand signs again.
The water came from the ground again and her technique started out really well, but then as it started hitting the trees it was becoming worse.
She looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed. "What happened? Did I do something wrong? I don't know what I did."
"You did something good. You tried fixing the problem and you did, it's just that when it started hitting the trees it started losing more of its power. You were focused but then when you felt your technique doing something right your concentration was lost so your technique suffered. Don't let anything let you lose focus or else everything will end badly. Try it again." I told her.
"Got it." She said as she tried to again. It was better and it went through more trees this time, and the holes in the trees were bigger and rounder. Her technique was getting better. Already, only on her second try was her technique's getting better.
She looked at me with a smile on her face. "I did it!"
"Yes, you did…" I said as I looked at the trees. I…would not want to battle her. If her strength it water…and mine is fire…things could end up badly.
"Thank you, Itachi." She said as she turned around and looked at me, those hazel eyes boring into my head like swords. I could feel her stare penetrate my soul and I turned away from her.
"You're welcome…" I said to her as I gritted my teeth. Couldn't she see what she was doing? Did she not realize? I could possibly believe that she could be totally oblivious to the fact that she was making me impossibly insane.
"Itachi is something wrong?" she asked as she touched my shoulder.
I quickly retaliated and shoved her shoulder off and turned and started walking away.
"I have to go, I'll tutor you some other time." I said quickly.
Her hand...
"Um, okay." She replied. I heard her bag being pulled off the rock and she started walking in another direction. I know that I left her completely confused, but maybe she was finally beginning to understand what I was feeling like.
Her hand…
Her touch…
Her touch was so…light, fragile, soft…Oh so soft… I only felt the slightest touch of skin on my neck when I brushed her off, but it was enough…No it wasn't enough, what was I saying? I was a greedy human; I wanted her touch again… I wanted my hands on her neck, but what would I be doing? Would I be softly caressing or crudely strangling? I wanted to strangle the woman. She was so…different; it was as if I could not comprehend it? What would I do?
****
A few weeks passed by and every so often, Amy and I would get together and we would train, her techniques have gotten a lot better, and it happened really fast. I surprised at how fast she could learn and fix mistakes afterwards. We talked to each other sometimes, it was still rather quiet and I think that it was my fault; I was the one who was quiet most of the time. But, she was the one person who I could really talk to. I told her most things that I haven't even told to my own parents or brother. Sasuke was too young to know about the things that we were talking about. We were normally talking about my missions and her missions and such.
That's where we were today.
Over the time that she and I have been training she had become my training partner. She wasn't half bad either, of course I would normally beat her most – all – of the time but it was still sometime's challenging when she used her water style jutsu's.
We were both sitting up on the Hokage's monuments. We happened to be sitting on the Third's head. We were both done training for the day and it was beginning to become dark. The sun set was beginning to come and the sky was soft orange and pink color. It was…pretty.
"Okay, so what's the most difficult mission that you have ever had to do?" she asked.
It was sort of a game for us now in a way. She would ask a question I would answer, and then I would ask her a question, and she would answer and then we would start all over again. In a way, I sort of liked it, but there was no way that I would actually tell her that.
"The most difficult…I would have to say when I had to hunt down a really important leader and I had to bring back his head for money. It was sort of like a bounty that time, but then again our country needed the money." I replied to her.
"Hmm, really? That's interesting; I've never had a mission other than gardening or walking dogs. The most that our group has ever done is a simple C-rank mission. It's not that exciting." She looked at me and then grabbed her bag. She started digging through her bag for something and she grabbed two rice balls.
"Here, have one." She said as she handed me one.
I took it without complaint, I was hungry we had been working all day since it was a weekend. And surprisingly, there wasn't any mission's for me to do. I was happy about that.
"Alright, so what's your question?" she asked.
I was silent, I was trying to think. What would be a really good question? I looked at my rice ball and took a bite. I'm glad that she had learned that I was a very quiet person, and I'm glad that she is a patient one. It would probably be a few minutes before I realized what my question was going to be. But then I had to ponder on if I should ask it or not, it was a very long a tedious thing to do.
It was a while before I finally figured out what I really wanted to ask her…I took a bite out of my rice ball before I asked her. I chewed with care and swallowed slowly. I wanted to take as long as possible before I finally asked.
I finished my rice ball and was still pondering if I should ask her or not.
I decided.
I turned towards her and she looked at me like I was crazy or something.
"Itachi?" she whispered cautiously, she was caught off guard by the sudden movement that I had made.
"What are you thinking?" I asked seriously.
"What do you mean-
"What are you thinking? What have you been thinking this whole time? Since the beginning," I said to her. I put my hand down behind her back and got closer to her face. I looked straight into her eyes and tried to read her again, nothing at all.
I growled the slightest bit. It was all so completely infuriating!
"Itachi…I don't know what you're talking about…" she said as she looked at me worryingly.
I turned towards her with my eyebrows furrowed. "Can't you see what you're doing to me?! You drive me completely insane! I don't know what you're thinking, it's impossible to read you; you're so different from everyone else that I don't know how to react to it. You barely have any flaws in you, you're so nice to everyone and I still can't seem to find the strength to ask you this question! Why is it so hard to know what you're thinking? Can't you just tell me or something?"
"Itachi…" she says as she inhales and exhales. Her breath caresses over my lips and cheeks and I turn away from her - such a sweet smell. Everything about her was drawing me into her…I couldn't stand it!
"Itachi, I don't know what I'm doing wrong, please tell me-
I turn towards her quickly and so quickly I caused her to back up. "You're doing absolutely nothing wrong! Nothing. You're impossibly perfect in every way possible! I can't comprehend this absurd reason of thinking that there's nothing wrong about you. I want to think that there's something wrong with you. But I can't seem to find anything! I want to find that one thing that you will do wrong. But I can't!" I got closer to her face and I grabbed her hand. "I want to know what you're thinking. I want to know if you're thinking anything about me, in any way possible. I want to be able to know this one thing, the one thing in the world that seems to be irritating me."
"Itachi…" she breathed out again. Her voice came out in a soft whisper; I was finally beginning to see something. She was confused; I could see that this time. She was trying to comprehend what I was saying to her. Was she still that oblivious? Or was it even that? Was she trying not to think that?
She looked away from my stare and stood up quickly. "I-Itachi…I have to go."
She grabbed her bag and jumped off of the Hokage's face and started running down the side of the mountain.
I looked down at her form as it was beginning to disappear. I couldn't do anything to stop her, even though I wanted to. I wanted to run to her and bring her back, get my question answered. I felt totally humiliated for asking her such a question. How uncomfortable did I think that I made her feel? Now it made me feel like I was a complete idiot.
Why was I even wasting my time on something like this? I had other problems to deal with. Was I just so confused about everything that I was losing my mind? I couldn't tell. I probably was but I didn't even care.
Amy's form finally disappeared from my sight and I suddenly became furious. I was still confused! She didn't even answer my question, she ran instead. What was she thinking of then? Couldn't she at least give me some type of hint? Anything at all? Tears? A hug? A simple response? She didn't give me anything in response. Now I was completely angry at her, I didn't know how to deal with her anymore. What should I do? I stood up and looked out into the distance, at the far off sun that was beginning to fade away, slowly sliding down the soft colored sky. I had other things to do today, now that I thought about it, this was the last day that I would see Amy…I wouldn't see her for a long time…
****
Red.
Crimson liquid.
Oceans of it.
Blood.
All by me.
The crimson liquid that came out of the body's that kept falling all around me were screaming in fear, anger, confusion, and everything other emotion in the world. I was sprayed with the ocean of blood over and over again as I killed countless people over and over again. I looked to my right, a person from our clan? They were on the ground in only a mere matter of seconds, dead.
Sadness filled my heart upon knowing what I was doing, and the fact that I had no other choice to do this. What would I do for the one person in this clan that meant the most to me? They were the last people…
Heading towards the dark road of death I walked to my own home. I walked past the sliding doors and the hallways that were my home, the place where I was raised, the place where I could always come to in my time of need.
And here I was, about to kill them, the parents that fed me, clothed me, watched over me, gave me protection, and I was here to kill those people…
Such a stupid human…
I don't think that I could really call myself a human anymore. Monster was too light hearted for the term…I didn't even know what to call myself anymore…
****
I had killed them…I saw my blood stained hands and I couldn't stop them from shaking after the horrible deed was done, after Sasuke had run. I can't believe that I said those horrible things him…I was so much worse than a monster. It seemed as if I was death alive and walking. I couldn't stop the red color in my vision…I just saw it everywhere, and whenever I closed my eyes, I saw their faces…I can't believe I did it in front of my brother as well. What kind of a monster was I?
I ran outside of the Uchiha compound, I couldn't stand to be in there anymore. I couldn't help but look back before I started running away from there. I couldn't stand to smell the blood of my own family, clouding my head with thoughts of misery and grief, most of all disappointment. I couldn't stand to see the look of disappointment. It made me sad to see the fact that I failed at something. I knew that it was a little selfish, but I didn't care anymore. The fact was that I was my families' killer…and I couldn't bear to think of the face that I would see on Amy…
To be continued in part 2…
I glanced down to see the deep crimson colored ring on my finger. It said red on it…or another thing I liked to call blood. The kanji symbol was delicately written, and it made me think of some random women taking the most amount of time ever to write it. But in reality it was probably our leader who casually wrote in a quick second. I pushed the thought aside. It was nonsense.
I looked over to my side; my partner was waiting patiently for me. I wondered why, but then I thought, why do I care?
"How far away from there are we now, Itachi?" he asked. He was most polite, was it because of the fact that I could practically kill him at any given moment without even touching him? It was just a mere thought.
"We're close. We'll be there in the next hour or so." I told him.
He nodded in head in a thank you, or whatever he wanted it to be. I wondered why I even answered the question, he wouldn't have done anything to get it out of me, just ignored the very thought that I completely ignored him. I liked that thought, but it had already passed.
The walk was slow, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted it to go any faster. The trees around us howled and moaned at the fact that we were on their land. They knew we were horrible. The wind started to pick up as if they wanted to push us back away from here, I silently laughed at the fact. It was inevitable. We would get there.
The bell on my hat jingled every time I took a step, and it never got annoying for some reason, maybe it was that I could think of that instead of being absurdly bored. It kept me doing something.
Not even an hour had passed and I saw the doors to the village. They were rather large; to keep outsiders…well out. Too bad they were stupid for barely even guarding it… We stopped and looked at it, analyzed it for any traps at all, and looked at each other, noticing that there was nothing besides weak shinobi that were supposed to be "guarding" it.
"Let's go, Kisame." I said as I started to walk forward. My bell rang clearly in my ears, and that was the only thing I let myself think of.
"It's been a while since you last returned to your home… Well, shall we have some tea before we go looking for what we seek…?" He asked, his voice was growling, but that was normally how he talked. I got used to it.
"Sure…"
****
I cringed at every voice that we passed as we casually blended in with the crowd; I was surprised that we weren't noticed at all. We both had extreme guard on right now, although at the same time, if anyone did attack we wouldn't want to draw any major attention. I wouldn't have a problem…but Kisame on the other hand.
I suddenly spotted some shinobi ahead of us. Kisame saw too and we both walked into a tea bar.
My senses suddenly peeked up as I sensed someone strong nearby.
"Anything you might like?" asked our waitress.
"Tea and dumplings." that was all I said.
She looked at Kisame and he said just asked for tea.
Our order was quickly delivered and I placed some money on the table when she placed them in front of us.
I looked around, but made it so that it wasn't noticeable. My eyes widened, I immediately remembered who it was.
It was Hatake Kakashi.
I turned around and looked over at Kisame, he knew that look that I gave him. We had to get out of here before we were caught. But how? We didn't know.
"Kakashi, you're actually on time?"
I froze. My head wanted to snap back around and see whose voice it was, even though I already knew.
"There's a first time for everything…" he says. "What are you doing her, Amy?"
"I could ask you the same thing; I thought that you didn't even like sweets…"
"I came to buy something to put on a grave, so I figured I'd just meet up with someone here while I was at it."
"Who?" She asked. Her voice still so innocent…
"Sasuke, actually."
I put my cup down; I gave the upmost effort as to not break the cup that was in my hand. Sasuke and Amy in the same place at once? I was almost too much to bear-
"Whoa, Kakashi…you showed up before me?"
Okay, it was too much to bear. I quickly stood up from my seat and practically ran out of the bar in the total opposite direction of them. So much anger and hate for myself was building up in my body that I was about to explode.
Sasuke's voice was scissors in my ears and pins in my eyes. I couldn't bear to see him still alive and standing today. Because of him, I've had more regret about the whole…massacre thing. I still relieve it in my dreams every night, and to add onto that, I imagined Amy seeing me doing it the whole time. I couldn't stand to think that she would see that. No doubt that she already knew about it, so why even bother? Everyone knows who the monster I am. I just wished that Amy wouldn't know.
I suddenly saw Amy up ahead. I nodded at Kisame and told him that we needed to split up. I didn't want him to see what I would be doing…not now. Not ever.
As he turned right, I kept walking straight ahead. She stood there, her eyebrows creased downwards and her arms were crossed. I couldn't stand that fact that I was getting closer and closer to her and she still didn't even know who I was. I was infuriated.
I don't think that she wanted to cause a scene because she let me walk right passed her. Her long blue hair blew in the wind and caught her scent. It was intoxicating. I almost stopped, but I clenched my teeth and bit my bottom lip and kept walking. I concentrated on the little bell that was tinkling. I told myself to not think about her, but it was so difficult…
I felt her stare on my back, and it was burning. I kept walking, my knees were shaking, and my hands were becoming sweaty. I couldn't even uphold my Sharingan. My eyes went back to their normal black. Everything was abnormal now, at least for me. People were moving so fast now…and I felt as if I was vulnerable everywhere. I kept my guard extra high, and I concentrated a lot of it behind me.
I walked out into the old training fields, I remembered training here. That was too long ago though, the only things that I really remembered was the killing of my family, Sasuke, and Amy. I walked across the field and into the trees. I felt a little bit safer, maybe it was the fact that everyone around me was now gone…but that little insecure place of maybe was still floating around - all because of her…
I stopped and turned around, I would have to face this, and I had no other way. My bell made a jingle sound one last time before it finally stopped and everything was silence.
I looked at her, soaked in every piece of her. Her face, her hair, her body…everything was so perfect in every way. I couldn't help but let myself stare. I didn't know if it was just because my hormones were suddenly growing again, or the fact that a beautiful woman was standing in front of me.
"You're not from this village are you?" she asked. "You can't come in here without paper work. Leave."
Her words hurt me, but I quickly got over them. It was the fact that her voice was pure and melodic. Yet at the same time, why did it sound so sensual? So luring?
"It's been a long time Amy." I said. I couldn't think of anything else. Was I stupid?
She took a step back. She whispered something, but I couldn't make it out. Her step was followed by another step, but this time, it was toward me. She was coming closer and closer and until she was about three feet away from me.
"You would only know my name…if you were a shinobi of this village." She says as takes another step forward. Does she know that I won't hurt her?
I activate my Sharingan, I might not attack her, but she could attack me at any moment. How could she not know it was me? Or was she trying to think that I wasn't the bad guy? I only hoped.
"You can't be…" she whispered as she took two steps toward me and placed her hand on my hat and threw it off. Her eyes widened. "No…"
She looked at me with wide eyes; those bright hazel eyes that I remember were darker now. I didn't know what from…but they were sad, confused, and heartbroken. It couldn't have been from me…she barely even cared; she left me when I asked her a simple question.
"What's wrong? Have you forgotten my face?" I asked.
"No…never. Not once have I forgotten…" she says as she reached out and touched my shoulder. She moved her hand up to my cheek, to see if I was actually real. She wanted to make sure that I wouldn't go away. But why was she doing this now? She didn't care back then…
"Why did you leave?" she asked as she took her hand off. I could breathe again.
I didn't answer her. I was accustomed to not answering people nowadays. Even with her, I didn't know. Maybe it was because I didn't know how. All of these questions in my head were rumbling. I didn't know if I could answer her questions if I couldn't get the courage to ask her something.
"Why!?" she yelled. She came closer and I took a step back. I didn't want to let myself be swayed by temptation. She suddenly pulled my coat and I came forward with great speed. Her strength had improved by a lot. I could tell already.
"Answer me!" she yelled in my face. Her breath caught in my nose and I closed my eyes and tried to rid the smell. So sweet…
I pushed her away with little force, apparently it was a lot. She almost fell backward. I looked at her and turned around and started walking the other way, I needed some time to myself. I felt my body being pushed forward. I almost was pushed into a tree but I quickly pulled the arms that pushed me around my body and switched places. I pressed her into the tree and glared at her.
"Answer me!" she repeated. She wouldn't let this up. She already knew that answer, so why even bother. I wouldn't answer her.
"Please, why did you leave me!?"
That caught me off guard. I looked a little confused at her and pushed her into the tree more.
"What do you mean…?" I clenched me teeth as I said every word. It was hard to speak to her. I didn't want to unleash my emotions on her now. There was so much on my mind, and I could barely stand this…
"What do you not understand in that sentence?" she cried out. Tears were forming in her eyes. Oh please don't cry. I didn't need this on my conscious as well.
All of a sudden, part of my fury was let out. "You didn't even care about me that much! How could you possible say that when you didn't even care?"
"Are you blind?" she says. I look at her strangely. "Do you earnestly think that you leaving left me in the happiest mood in the world? Do you know how worried I was for you? I didn't even know if you would ever show your face again!"
"What do you mean? You didn't even notice the feelings that I had for you!"
Everything was silent. She broke it though after a few minutes.
"What do you mean…?" she whispered.
"You didn't even recognize the feelings that I had for you back then. You didn't even realize how much you drove me insane! I tried to express it some way to you, but I didn't know how. And you didn't even think of the fact that I could possibly care for you in some way that I couldn't even explain to myself."
Almost all of it now was out. So much of my emotion was unleashed at one time. It felt so good, but then why did I feel as if I caused so much destruction just then?
Her eyes were wider. So she was completely oblivious to the fact. I didn't even know if she still was.
"Are you saying that you…actually felt something for me?" she asked. She looked at me more closely.
"Yes! You didn't realize that I actually…argh!" I growled and I pulled away from her. It was such a relief. I didn't know what the feeling was that I had for her. And I still had it! This confusing feeling that left my heartbroken when I was away, the feeling of confusion, anger, hate, regret, happiness, and every other emotion that I could possibly think of. But…why couldn't I find that one emotion which explained all of this?
She put her hand on my shoulder and turned me so that I would look at her. It was painful.
"You did…didn't you?" she asked as she put her hand on my cheek. I felt the warmth come onto my skin and I felt as if it went straight to my heart.
"Yes…" I confessed, "I've felt something for you for a long time. These emotions in my heart are so overwhelming that I can barely stand it. It feels as if every nerve in my body will explode if I add only one more emotion. Every time I think of you, butterflies fill my stomach and it never seems to stop. Every touch of yours sends an electric shock through my body, and I can't help but enjoy it. Everytime I look at you, it's as if something from my heart is being lifted, but then something falls. It's like my emotions are riding on a roller coaster right now. My mind spins as I take in your smell. And the impetuous things that I want from you are so forbidden…I don't think that I could allow myself to hurt you again…"
She took all of this in, but it was difficult. All of my hidden emotions kept in for so long were finally out. She couldn't believe all of this. She didn't know that I could possible feel this way. It was…almost impossible for her to think that this was all possible.
"Itachi, do you know why I never answered that question?" she said with utmost strength.
I looked at her strangely.
"Did you ever wonder why I never really…got that close to you?" she smiled at me, "It's because of the fact I thought that you wouldn't accept me. I thought that, if I could act normal around you, maybe just one person in your life that that's what you would want. I wanted to be a normal person and not ogle over you and act as if you were so property that someone could own. I wanted to treat you as a human being."
I stared at her. This was what she was thinking this whole time?
She continued, "But, when we were training, and I saw how kind you were, I thought to myself that I was denying the best thing in my life. I knew that I loved you from the moment that you agreed to help me. I didn't want to say anything because I thought that you wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. I wanted to be around you more, and I didn't want to ruin the friendship that we had by my feelings towards you…"
I stared at her wide eyed. All of this was going through her mind. I never knew that she would think this! All this time…I never knew; was I the one who was completely oblivious?
She smiled more and she shined with brilliance. She was so perfect in every way, nothing was wrong about her, and now, I wasn't even sure if I wanted that to change. I wanted her to stay the way that she was.
I placed my hands on her shoulders, I was unsure of what to do. I was completely blank now; I had never been this way with anyone before. She showed me, she curled up in my arms and they fell to her waist as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I raised one of my arms and gently caressed her soft cheek. I took in the scent of her hair and savored her touch. I didn't care if the world had to wait for us to stop. Time had better slow down for us; we were just…so perfect. Her body curved against mine as if we were a mold that was made to be put together.
"I can't find the words to say to you. I'm speechless. But…I want to say everything to you…I just can't find them." I whispered to her as I held her tighter against me as she wrapped her arms around my stomach.
She chuckled slightly, it was as if bells rang, I had never heard her laugh before. "The words that you're looking for are I love you…" she brought her face up to mine and gently kissed my lips.
I was confused, I didn't know how to respond - at least my mind didn't. My lips did. The moved against hers so intimately, it was as if we were both so innocent. Heh, like that was reality. Well…she was at least.
My hands found the way to the back of her neck and they pulled slightly so my lips could go deeper, I wanted to explore the deep cavern of a mouth she had. That sweet mouth. I wanted her to be mine and mine only. I wanted her to come with me, but I didn't know how. I couldn't exactly just bring her to Kisame and say that she's coming with us.
Oh no, Kisame. I groaned and pulled away from her.
She looked at me as if she had done something wrong. "What's the matter?"
I couldn't answer her, and had to meet up with him, he was either still fighting the other shinobi or he was waiting for me to meet with him at the gate. I had better hurry.
I slightly pushed her away and muttered an apology to her as I walked passed her and prepared to jump.
"So you're just leaving me again?" she asked. That stopped me.
I turned around and looked at her and brought my hands to her face and pulled her to me and kissed her. She kissed me back, grateful.
I broke the kiss and pulled her against me quickly, "I'm sorry. I must leave."
"Please, Itachi, no!" she practically cried as she clutched onto me cloak and began to sob. "I can't stand to see you leave me. Especially when I have the chance to stop you…I can't bear to have you leave me again…I'll kill myself if you do."
I hated those words that came out of her mouth. And all of this because of me…I couldn't stand that! I wanted to shake her back and forth for saying that. But I knew that I didn't have the courage or the heart for it.
"I-I…I don't know what you want me to do. I can't stay here. I must leave. I'm not welcome here in this village anymore." I said to her as I gazed into her eyes. I had to make it clear to her that I couldn't stay. She had to realize this too.
"Let me come with you-
"No." I walked away from her and thought of the things that would happen if she came along. She would be killed.
"Please! I know how to fight Itachi. You're the one who taught me anyways! Please…" she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "I know I'm being selfish, but…I just can't bear to see you leave me again. I love you too much."
Oh God, she said it. She told me that she loved me…this was a war now. This was serious. And she was winning.
"But I can't bear to see you dead." I told her.
She looked at me silently. She didn't know how to reply to that. But…she thought of something, how was she so smart!
"I wouldn't live either way then…" she whispered.
I grabbed her by her shoulders and picked her up. "I don't want to lose you! Don't you realize this? I don't want to give you the chance of getting yourself killed."
"How would you live if you had me killing myself on your conscious?"
I gasped and I almost hit her across the face for saying that. She didn't love me that much did she…? No way.
"Itachi…don't you realize this? I love you so much that I would follow you to the sun and beyond. I love you so much that I would give anything to be with you forever. I would give my own life to. And if being with you longer meant giving up my life…then so be it." She says as she places her hands on my cheeks and pulls me closer. "I love you so much that I would betray my village to be with you."
As heartfelt as it sounded, it was still horrible. She was a lot stronger than I expected. I was losing miserably.
"I…"
"Take me with you…I promise that I will help out the best that I can…" she whispers as she kissed me.
I cave. I let myself fall for her ways and I embrace. Caving to her felt so enjoyable. She was strong for making me change my mind. I kiss her passionately. I pour out my soul to her as she reads it and sees every memory and every thought that I had of me and her.
"I'll take you." I whisper to her as I kiss her forehead and look into her eyes. I bring her closer and whisper in ear. "I love you…"
She gasps and buries her head into my chest. Her cheeks become red with color. Suddenly she jumps on me and kisses me. We end up colliding into a tree.
In between our kisses we whisper "I love you" to each other. The air is electric with love and passion. We share ourselves as one being, as one soul. The love I had for her was inexplicable and unconditional. I didn't have to worry about anything anymore. All I knew was that she loved me back, and that's all that mattered.
****
When I'm with you,
Eternity is a step away,
My love continues to grow, with each passing day.
This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
How much I love you…
You'll never really know.
You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
With each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more
So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever and always,
I will love you."
The End
Well, I hope that you enjoyed it! ButterflyEmbrace, I hope that you enjoyed you're one shot! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!
~ assassinkareana
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