Hey peoples, I intend to try a fill, if it sucks, I'm sorry.
This is the prompt:
Rumors of John being a man who had experience with women in three continents goes around Scotland Yard but nobody can figure it out how such a mild mannered man such as John could possibly accomplish this. They get their answer when Lestrade and co invite him to a bar and he gets drunk. When drunk, John turns into a highly confident, smooth talking lady killer that even has Sally flustered when he starts talking to her. Then Sherlock comes in to take him home, but John mistakes Sherlock for a very tall woman (thinking his long coat is a dress) and starts hitting on him. Before Sherlock can even talk sense into him, John grabs him into his arms, swiftly dipping him down and kisses him on the lips. There were pictures.
As soon as John walked into New Scotland Yard, he knew something was different. The usual hushed whispers quieted down and everyone stared. Then Donovan grinned and said, "Friday night was interesting." Several women agreed and some men, too. John blinked. Friday night? He didn't remember much about it.
Sherlock rolled his eyes, imperious as ever, and said, "Oh, do shut up Donovan, no one has time for this."
Donovan giggled (actually giggled. In Sherlock's presence. Does. Not. Compute.) "I would be nice if I were you, otherwise certain photos might find their way on to the Internet. We also have video."
Sherlock looked horrified. Something John had only seen once before, when Mycroft had...well actually, that's a memory John would rather not look back on. He was still trying to find a workable brain bleach because of that Incident. (Yes, it deserves the capital letter). John sighed. This is why he did not go drinking. And in his defense, he had been forced into it.
(Friday 1:00 am)
John sat in the back of an ambulance, keeping an eye on Sherlock, who's was getting the scratches on his side attended to. The case had been a fairly simple one. But monkeys did not like it when people invaded their territory. Hence the scratches.
A new officer walked up to them, a grin forming on his face. "Watson? T.C. Watson? Doc, I haven't seen you since Kandhar! How are ya?"
John blinked. Then it came to him. "Rover? Hi, how's the leg?"
Rover smiled, slung an arm round John's shoulders and said, "Healed up quite nicely thanks to you, Doc. They managed ta save everything but two a my toes!"
"What does T.C. Stand for?" Donovan sneered. (She'd been rude to John since he had taken her aside during a case in which she was extremely nasty to Sherlock and had quietly and calmly tore her reasons for being rude to Sherlock to shreds, along with her misinformed view of professionalism).
Rover, completely unaffected by Donovan's attitude, smirked and said, "Three Continents. Cause he's got a harem that goes through North America, Europe, and Asia."
Sherlock scoffed. "John? He's much too honest for that."
"Um.. Sherlock-"
"Absolutely preposterous! He's practically a saint!" Donovan sneered. As much as she hated to admit it, she had to agree with the freak. Hell would freeze over before John Watson became a womanizer. (John would have laughed at the thought? As he was when he was drunk. And he was proud of it, too).
"Actually, Donovan-"
"I have to agree with Donovan and Sherlock." Anderson chimed in. There was simply no way that goody-two-shoes Watson had a harem and he didn't.
"Well-"
"It's true, John. You just aren't that kind of person." Lestrade interrupted. "You're much too-"
"I AM THREE CONTINENTS! YOU CAN ASK ANYONE IN THE ARMY OR THE RAMC WHO KNOWS ME!" There was a stunned silence before they all (Anderson, Donovan, Lestrade, even Sherlock) burst out laughing. John grit his teeth and Rover looked slightly worried. (He had seen Captain Watson angry before and it was an experience he was not willing to go through again. Last time he had that face he had single handedly broke into an insurgent base and... Well, lets just say several of those insurgents ended up in asylum and leave it at that).
"Watson, wunna come to the bar with us later on tonight? It'd give us a chance to catch up." John smiled slightly and nodded.
(Friday Night at the Bar)
John sat talking to Rover about what he'd been up to since Afghanistan when Dimmock challenged him to a drinking contest. Twelve beers later Dimmock was out for the count and John had slipped into the persona of Three Continents. He picked up a flower from the grate on the window (sad looking thing that it was) and tucked it into Donovan's hair. Then he took her hand, kissed it, and said, "M'lady, you look glorious tonight, may I have the pleasure of this dance." She blushed and stuttered but allowed John to pull her out to the dance floor, where a relatively slow song was playing. One hand on her waist and the other holding hers, he flowed fluidly throughout the dance floor, his hands never straying where they shouldn't. As the song was coming to a close, he dipped her back and held her there for a moment. The. He gently spun her up and walked her back to the table, an arm about her waist. Then he whispered to her, "You are a beautiful woman. A diamon in the rough, with fire in your veins."
Sally stuttered and giggled but before she could say anything, Sherlock swooped in an said, "Come, John you are thoroughly drunk."
John grinned and said, "Hello miss, and what's you're name?"
Sherlock frowned, turned to Lestrade and said, "You broke him." In the same way a 5 year old would say "you took my toy."
John, smooth as ever, said, "Don't frown, m'dear, I still work perfectly."
Sherlock grabbed John and pulled him towards the door but John grabbed his face and kissed him thoroughly. Sherlock's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest but John took the advantage and swipe his tongue into Sherlock's mouth. Sherlock moaned and his arms wrapped around John in spite of himself. John shoved his leg in between Sherlock's thighs and his legs buckled. He would have fallen if John hadn't caught him. John broke the kiss and started kissing, licking, and biting his way down Sherlock's jaw before going back to attacking his lips. He took Sherlock's bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled. Sherlock found himself grinding against John before he came to his senses and pushed John back. John pouted. Actually pouted. Sherlock, ignoring the fact that he had a boner, dragged John away from the bar and dunked his head into a barrel that had collected the rain water from earlier that day. He kept dunking him until John said, "Alright! Alright! I'm good."
Sherlock snorted. John looked around and then looked closely at Sherlock. "Sherlock, why do you have bite marks on your jaw?"
Sherlock just loomed at him a minute before leaning forward and saying in a deeply seductive voice, "Three Continents." John blushed and looked away but Sherlock turned his head back and kissed him again. John smiled and kissed him back.
(Later that Night)
Sherlock kissed John's forehead and murmured, "We can't tell anyone or you will be targeted more than you already are."
John sighed and snuggled closer before saying, "I know. I don't like it but I know."
Sherlock smiled and said, "Pretend like you don't remember what happened at the bar and see if they believe you, it will be amusing to watch."
John grinned and said, "Yes, they will think I was completely drunk when I kissed you."
"Weren't you?"
"No, I'm partly Scottish, I know how to hold my beer."
"John Watson, you are a devious man." Sherlock grinned. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Of course not, that would be too boring."