Small Truths
Set just before and during the introduction to Small Worlds. Sort of prequel to Headlights.
Ianto gripped the file in his hand, in a fruitless attempt to not let Jack see what he was holding. Silence ruled the Hub at this late hour as much as chaos did in the daytime; it was perhaps the only way to measure time in the base that never saw the sunlight. Ianto and Jack were alone in Hub for the first time since Lisa's death.
"Is that for me?" Jack asked without looking up, he had known Ianto was there for some time. When Ianto made no reply he finally tore his eyes away from the expenses report and got up. Glad to find an all too distracting antidote to the boredom.
"It's nothing important." Ianto muttered as he watched Jack cross the room towards him, he stood like a rabbit in the headlights of a truck.
"If it's not important lets have a look-see." Jack reasoned fairly, reaching out to grasp the file.
"It's just a boring Archive report." Ianto stated hiding the file smartly behind his back out of harms way "Nothing for you to worry about sir"
"If it's nothing for me to worry about, why are you so desperate to hide it?" Jack laughed, trying to pull the offending article from Ianto.
They fell about in a half-hearted wrestling match, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Neither wanted to back down, not only because they both wanted the file, but it was the first time in the last month they'd felt totally at ease with each other, it was a wonderful feeling.
"Come on let go." Ianto smiled, the expression made Jack strangely happy, he hadn't seen Ianto smile for so long. Sure, he'd seen the half hearted smile he used to put the others off the scent of his grief, but this was the proper genuine article. It gave Jack the sliver of hope he wanted to start believing Ianto was on the mend.
"You're going to rip it." Ianto reproached, but he was still laughing, the two men's bodies were so close Jack could feel Ianto's drum like heart beat through the material of his suit.
The folder suddenly split in two, Ianto broke away with a muttered expletive, desperately trying to stop Jack seeing the treasure trove of information that was now spread across Jack's office floor. Jack came down Ianto's level, getting a better look at the papers on the floor before Ianto could secrete them away. Jack recognized most of the stuff; after all, it detailed every mission the Torchwood Institute had sent him during the late 19th Century. The photographs made him almost smile, almost…
"Should I be flattered?" Jack laughed, trying to show he didn't mind. Ianto refused to look him in the eye, a deep blush starting to set across his handsome features.
"You weren't supposed to see that." he muttered, standing up with papers a messy disorganised pile in his arms.
"I'm not worried." Jack shrugged; he walked back to his chair and offered for Ianto to sit next to him, dumping some of the papers disorganized on the table top.
"How long have you known?" Jack asked, hoping his casual tone would hide the whirling thoughts in his head.
"Known what?" Ianto murmured "That you can't die or you've work for Torchwood for nearly a hundred years?"
"Both I guess?" Jack smiled; they were both trying to be so casual. As if they discussed his immortality at regular intervals.
"You must have known someone would notice. I mean who was in charge of the Archives before me. They must have seen that you're paper trail started in the Victorian era." Ianto said.
"You're the first person to be directly in charge of all that." Jack admitted. "I used to do it, easier to hide it that way."
"That's why they were in such a mess." Ianto was looking into his lap so Jack couldn't be sure if he was smiling.
"Then why did you employ me, knowing I would work it out eventually?" a strong look of confusion creased Ianto's features as he met Jack's searching eye. Jack was suddenly aware how close Ianto's hand was to his. A centimetre or two and he could hold it. Something inside of him knew that Ianto would let him and enjoy it, deep down, as much as him.
Jack wondered what it would be like to hold Ianto in his arms. A proper relationship with this man was so hard to imagine after all the quick shags late at night and the snatched kisses. Perhaps if Lisa, Torchwood and the Doctor hadn't come first then everything would be different. Like they were just two regular people. It was impossible to imagine, even if it was very tempting, it would be far too perfect, and impossible. He pulled himself from the daydream.
"I'm sorry." Ianto blurted suddenly "I know Gwen knows you can't die, but I won't tell anyone, I promise."
"That's okay, I know you won't." Jack smiled, the idea that Ianto would tell Tosh, Owen or the big shots at what was left of Torchwood London hadn't even wandered into his mind.
"Sir?"
"My names Jack." Jack sight for what felt like the hundredth time. "Use it."
"Sorry, Jack." Ianto emphasised the name with a rare smile "Don't see why, it's not you're real name."
Jack should have really got used to the feeling of speechlessness, he'd felt it a few times in the last hour.
"Want to know what it really is?" Jack whispered his face so close to Ianto's, Jack's soft breath tickled Ianto's ear.
Ianto had been in this position before. Same story and he knew how it would end, Jack would kiss him, Ianto would surrender, one thing would lead to the inevitable other and Jack would leave Ianto stunned and heartbroken on the floor, carrying on the next day as if nothing had happened. Half of him wanted Jack to get it over and done with and enjoy it (if that was the right word); the other was still stubbornly bound to Lisa, and didn't want anything to do with her murderer.
"No." Ianto said calmly, he hid his hands under the table to make sure Jack couldn't see how badly they were shaking, not only in fear but anticipation.
"I'm not like you Jack; I'm going to die some day soon. What happens now will be a second in your long life. But it'll stay with me in my short one, just…."
Jack gently took Ianto's face in his hands, "Then perhaps we should enjoy this while we can."
Before Ianto could fully comprehend the implications of what Jack had just told him they were kissing. Finally they broke apart after a few blissful seconds, gasping for air. Their lips met again and again, each time more exhilarating and needy than the last. A soft groan escaped Ianto's lips and Jack pulled him closer.
Time seemed to play tricks on them, one minute they were sitting on the chairs in the office the next they were down in Jacks underground room. Ianto couldn't take it all in; it was as if it was someone else's hands were fumbling with the buttons on Jack's shirt, touching the flushed soft skin underneath. Every one of his favourite nightmares had been merged into this moment, and it was far too real.
Jack vaguely saw his T-shirt join his shirt on the floor, he wasn't exactly concentrating. I've got him, he's mine, Jubilation was bursting from his chest like a party popper. A soft hiss of air escaped his lips as Ianto's kisses travelled.
The butterflies in Ianto's stomach had flown upwards; they placed the softest of kisses along Jack's neck. The Captain murmured something incoherently as Ianto's mouth touched Jack's racing pulse. God, this is torture, Jack grinned.
Ianto couldn't help marvel at the tensed muscle on Jack's chest. It strained under his lips, aching for more. Ianto's finger's stopped shaking, I'm in control, he told himself firmly. His fingers reached the belt …
It took Jack a few moments to realize Ianto had stopped, he could still feel the Welshman straddling on him. He opened his eyes to see Ianto holding his gun. There was a puzzled look in his eye as he held the ancient Webbly.
"You killed Lisa with this gun."
Jack's heart sunk "Ianto, that's not…"
"Not just her, I realize now." Ianto smiled, but it seemed wrong, as if all he wanted to do was cry.
"All those year's, waiting; you must have killed so many people, seen so many die."
Jack said nothing. He wanted to sit up and pull Ianto back. This conversation was too uncomfortable and too soon.
"Do you hate being the leader?"
The question, so honest so unexpected, took Jack by surprise.
"At times." Jack answered, taken aback by his own sincerity. Ianto said nothing, giving Jack time to gather his thoughts. The Captain stretched his arms, resting them behind his head. Stretching his taught muscles as he strained his mental ones.
"Everyone expects you to be fearless; you have to set the example. Give everyone else hope even when you think the situation is simply hopeless. It is hard." He murmured.
"You've played the part so long its second nature."
Something about this comment touched a nerve. "You can talk." Jack snapped.
"What do you mean?"
Jack rolled his eyes "Ianto Jones, the loyal butler, hiding behind the suit and tie façade, never showing a chink in his pinstripe armour."
"Perhaps you don't want to know the real me." Ianto whispered.
Jack wasn't deterred "What the hell do you want then? How do I know you haven't got another girlfriend in the basement? How am I meant to trust you?"
Ianto said nothing, the look in his eye and the finality in the way he buttoned his shirt back up spoke volumes.
"Are you leaving?" Jack said incredulously, after all that.
Ianto straitened to give Jack the full force of his look. It quelled any angry retort Jack was ready to rebuke Ianto with.
"I know when I'm not needed." He threw the gun on the bed. It landed with a thunk on Jack's chest; the cold metal almost burnt the Captain as it kissed his warm skin.
It took Jack a few moments to give up the hope that Ianto was coming back. He suddenly felt tired; he just wanted to forget it all. It was one of those rare moments when his nightmares would be better than reality. Why did he have to open up now, form attachments when he was going to leave this place for good soon? The Doctor was coming for him soon, surely. He closed his eyes and tried to feel nothing.
The smell of blood. Rose petals. Falling with the blood onto the carriage floor. The eyes of the soldiers, that he had known to be filled with passion, were now glassy and dead. These weren't any old soldiers. They were his soldiers. He'd let them down. He couldn't save them. He couldn't save anybody. He couldn't… Ianto.
Jack awoke. The fear lumping solid and cold in his throat. He tried not to concentrate the memories. The sensual torture his favourite sectary had put him through was now hurting him mentally. Even his dreams, though not related to Ianto, made his regret deeper. They reminded him of other's he had loved and only caused pain to.
He pulled his T-shirt over his head; it was cold from when Ianto hand flung it on the floor, as he climbed the ladder to enter his office. The Hub was another world at night. A world that no one knew about. The others were so used the Hub full of bright shiny danger, that they never saw this place in the still of the night.
The Captain let out a puff of air, as if trying to exhale a life time of pain in one breath. His eyes were drawn to the desk. Some of the insides of the file he'd split in Ianto's hand was still there. It seemed so long ago they'd talked.
He saw something that hadn't been there before. A perfect rose petal, red like an all too late warning sign. Automatically he picked it up crushing it in his hand. Trying to crush the guilt and recollection at the same time.
He turned suddenly. Ianto. His eyes were not looking at Jack; he was studying the file, now selo-taped neatly together. He was so intent on the paper that he didn't notice Jack study him for one clear moment, popping the petal in his pocket; he gave a jump as his Captain spoke.
"You shouldn't be here."
The looked at one another, Ianto indicated at Jack with the file shyly.
"Neither should you."
In that moment you could have believed anything could happen. They could have kissed, hurt or shouted at one another. But instead they stared, trying to make clear their message though neither was sure what they were trying to say.
Ianto walked away and the spell was broken. He was already speedily typing when Jack arrived by his side. Jack watched his fingers moved remembering the way they'd moved over him not so long ago.
He took a deep breath as he placed his palm on Ianto suit clad back. Feeling the muscles tense under the material.
"What have you got?"
Ianto kept his eyes on the screen, inhaling Jack's unique pheromones as he felt his warm hand pat his back.
"Funny sort of weather patterns."
He turned, sudden as it was unexpected to Jack; they looked into each others eyes, only for a moment but it was enough.
Ianto turned away as Jack's mind got lost in the past.
"Sir, Jack, I…"
"It's okay."
Jack lent down and touched his lips to the top of Ianto's head. His arms entwined Ianto's waist. Automatically Ianto settled closer into Jack's body. He wondered when was the point he'd become so dependant on the Captain.
Was it when he lay on top of Jack, the day they caught the pterodactyl, lips a few electrifying centimetres away? Was it the night Jack executed Lisa, leaving him yearning for those hands that had fired the murdering shot? Had it built up on him over the month until one accidental touch could leave him numb? He'd come to Torchwood Cardiff to cure Lisa, Captain Jack Harkness had killed them both. Lisa with a cold bullet, him with the hottest of kisses. How had he let it happen he wondered at he let himself relax into Jack.
have'nt written a oneshot in ages. so all comments are welcome.