Disclaimer: Victorious belongs to Amurrica.

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You like to go for walks in the rain.

It's hard to explain, really. Something about the sky, the way the clouds cluster and huddle together, like one huge blanket covering you, too high to reach and too vast to encompass. The way everything gets harder to see, needles of rain giving everything a softer edge, blurring it just a little. Turning the world to grey, making everything feel just a little unreal. You've always had an inclination towards fantasy, and when it starts to rain, it's just that little bit easier to pretend you're not where you've always been. You like feeling feather light drops patter over your shoulders, feel their cold touch stroke your face, almost too light to even notice. Everything's cold, and drab, and you guess you should find that depressing, but you just find it comforting. The world isn't so demanding. It isn't bright and loud, it's soft and melting, and the hiss of the rain is like white noise to soothe your mind. Not that you don't like bright colours; your outfits are proof that you really do. It's a time to clear your head, to tread with splashing steps in a world that's caught between land and sea.

Jade thinks it's stupid. She says you'll get pneumonia, that she'll have to be the one to take care of you, and she's just too busy to do that. You think she would anyway. It's one of the reasons you don't mind the risk. You know she'll be there to tell you how dumb you were, while her hand feels your forehead with a gentle touch, and her brow wrinkles almost imperceptibly.

You like to walk until you're soaked, until your hoodie is clinging to you, heavy and wet, and the chill starts to sink into your bones. You like to hear the water gurgle around you, feel the grass squish under your feet. You like how you never know what time of day it is, because there's always the same cold light, drained of warmth.

The last time you came home like that, water dripping from you, Jade had stripped off your hoodie, undone your pants, and forced you into the shower. The water had burned the chill from your flesh, had been like a slap to awaken you. She'd told you that she'd never understand you, why you do the things you do, as she'd massaged shampoo into your ruby hair, smooth body pressed up against you. It makes you happy, that she cares. That she worries. That every time it starts to rain, she looks over at you, eyebrows digging down like she knows what's about to happen. Jade has her own little vice though.

When it rains, she likes to smoke. To huddle outside undercover with a cigarette dangling from her lips. It's the only time she does it. It's a habit taken up after the two of you finished school, albeit a rare one. You get the feeling she thinks you don't like it, but you really don't mind. Underneath the taste of smoke, it's still Jade's lips you're kissing. Sometimes after you slip on your hoodie, you pass her her fliptop lighter on the way out, with a soft kiss and a promise you'll be home soon. She'll tell you to have fun, her voice wry, fingers plucking at the pages of a magazine, but she never turns away when you lean in.

You're having spaghetti tonight. Jade's the cook out of the two of you. You don't mind cooking, but Jade sure minds. You have a tendency to put sugar in everything you cook. You figure people never mind a bit of sweetness, right?

Jade's stirring the sauce when she turns to you, kitchen filled with the smell of garlic and tomatoes. You freeze, half-eaten piece of licorice pinched between your teeth, door to the pantry closing. Jade sighs, taking it away from you. "You're gonna ruin your appetite, you know?"

You nod, batting your eyes at her. "I know." You've learned that the bigger you make your eyes, the sooner she stops being mad at you.

She shakes her head, taking a bite of the licorice. "Where do you keep hiding this stuff? I thought I got it all in the last sweep."

You grin at her, leaning forward on the counter. "I hid it under the bag of potatoes."

Jade takes another bite of the licorice before leaning forward and tapping your nose with it. "You're gonna pay for that, you know. I told you never to hide things from me."

Your eyebrows turn up pitifully as you shuffle around the counter, circling your arms around Jade, fingers linking in front of her belly. "What are you going to do?" You raise up on your tiptoes, just able to prop your chin on Jade's shoulder.

"You know your copy of The Little Mermaid?"

Your arms tighten around her. "Mhm."

"You're not allowed to watch it for a week. And you have to watch a scary movie with me."

"But scary movies scare me." You bury your face in her soft grey t-shirt. It's actually a pyjama shirt, but the whole apartment is basically Jade's bed. You found her asleep in the bathtub once. She wasn't having a bath. You're not quite sure whether she was cleaning it, or trying to relocate a spider, all you know is it took you ten minutes to wake her up, and a further ten to convince her to come to bed. And a promise that you'd join her.

"That's the point, Cat. Plus, I like you scared." She smirks, turning in your arms to face you. "Your eyes get huge. They're like dinnerplates." She mimics the action, before finishing the last bite of licorice. "Also, you actually remember to lock the doors and windows afterwards." You lick your lips subconsciously. You really wanted that licorice, too. Jade can be so mean to you. She notices your reaction, face turning sympathetic. "Oh, did you want that, Cat?" You nod, eyes fixed on her lips. She leans in, kissing you softly, tongue tracing your bottom lip, laden with the taste of licorice. She pulls back, shrugging. "That's all I can give."

You lick your lips again, savouring the taste. You have a real problem with candy; you never have enough.

Jade opens her mouth to say something, freezing before she can start. She tilts her head, as if she's listening for something, so you figure you might as well do the same. And there it is, the faint hiss of rain, growing louder until it's rattling your windows.

You share a glance with Jade, a stern look on her face, her voice a warning. "Not until after dinner, okay? I don't make this stuff for fun."

You nod, arms slipping away from Jade as she turns to stir the sauce again.

You listen to the patter of rain on the roof as you suck down your spaghetti, sauce striping your cheeks. Jade gets up midway through the meal, only to return with a handful of napkins and a pointed look as she drops them in front of you. You thank her with a sheepish grin, and it doesn't take long until both your plates are empty. You can feel that itch in your spine, like a dogs whine. You want to go out there, walk those empty and drab streets until your shoulders shiver and your skin is clammy to the touch. You glance between Jade and the door, trying not to fidget, until she finally releases you from the table with a nod.

You shoot into the bedroom, grabbing a red hoodie and struggling into it. You end up putting it on the wrong way in your excitement, hood covering your face, and as you manage to strip it off, taking a frustrated breath, you see Jade. She's rifling through the closet, looking for something.

She glances over at you. "I'm coming with you." She pulls out a black leather jacket with a fabric hood, shrugging it on.

"Really?" Jade's never done that before. Never wanted to come with you on your wandering walks. To be fair, you've never invited her, either. You wonder if it's because it's night-time, and she doesn't think it's safe, although it's summer, so the sun hasn't quite sunk yet. That grey light still dully filters into the street, like a breath of smoke stealing out of the sky.

Jade zips up the beat up jacket, turning to you just as you finally manage to get the hoodie on – the right way, this time. She ruffles your hair, smirking as you squirm, frowning. "Yep, we're going for walksies, Cat. Should I get your collar?"

Your mouth twists, cheeks heating up. "That was just for private, Jade. It's not a real collar. It doesn't have any tags of anything on it."

She takes a deep breath, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. "I forgot about that collar. That was an interesting thing to come home to." Jade smiles, tongue running over her lips. She gives her head a slight shake, gaze locking back onto you. "We'll leave it until we get home, okay Cat?"

You nod. "Let's go!"

She scoops up the keys on the way out, while you grab her fliptop lighter.

"Have you got your nails, Jade?"

That's what she likes to call her cigarettes. Nails. You're not really sure why she calls them that, but you like it. She buys Marlboro, and sometimes, if you beg her enough, she'll do her Marlboro man voiceover impersonation for you. It always makes you laugh. Sometimes she does it when you're upset, just to cheer you up. Or she'll do her man voice. It's impossible to stay sad when Jade tries so hard to cheer you up.

She pats her pocket. "Yep. Let's get this inexplicable habit of yours over with."

It's cool outside. Not enough to eat through your hoodie, but enough to chill your hands, to spread clammy fingers across your neck. The rain is fitful, wind sweeping gusts of it alternately into you and away from you. There's a kind of stillness in the air, not silence, no. The rain and the wind make too much noise for that. Rather, it's the held breath of everything living. It's people twitching their drapes to gaze out at a world they no longer want to be out in. It's every dog that lies with lowered ears and a drooping tail in a leaky kennel. It's the sound of waiting, and you relish it. You think part of the reason you love to come out here is simply because no one else does. You've never followed the herd; you were always the stray beast that broke away.

Jade takes a deep breath, searching through her pockets. She pulls out the red and white packet of cigarettes, shaking one free. She pinches it between her lips as she holds her hand out to you for her lighter, the cigarette dipping with every step.

You stop, lighter in hand. "Can I do it?"

Her hand retracts, followed by a shrug. "Go for it."

You flick the lighter open, thumb stroking down the wheel, a trembling flame springing up. Jade dips her head, a hand holding her hair back, hood pushed down for the moment. The flame eats into the paper, tip glowing as Jade inhales. You close the lid with a snap, burying the lighter back in your pocket.

She takes a deep inhale, rain like tiny diamonds stuck to her hair, beading. She studies the cigarette, breath held deep in her lungs, the orange tip hissing resentfully as a raindrop hits it. She grimaces, letting out a long and visible breath, the smell of smoke whirling around you. Jade pulls her hood back up, starting to walk again. "I hate these things."

"Then why do you smoke them?"

Jade rolls her shoulders, feet splashing through a shallow puddle on the pavement. "I don't know. It just feels right to, in this weather. They never even cross my mind when it's sunny. There's just..."

"-Something about the rain?"

She nods,cigarette switching hands so her arm can link around yours. You hug it for a moment, taking in her warm, slightly smoky scent, before loosening your squeeze and carrying on, shoulders rubbing with every step. "Exactly. I don't know what it is."

"Maybe it's like when bears hibernate?"

"You mean like an instinctual thing?"

"Maybe. I mean, bears wouldn't know when it was winter, would they?" You frown, a raindrop splashing your nose. "Or do they?"

"I don't think they do."

"Anyway, all they know is it gets really cold. And that makes them want to sleep, I think. So they must just get this really strong urge to go and sleep for a while, and maybe they don't know why they get it, but they do."

"So you're saying that me smoking and you walking are like our behaviours if we were bears?"

You blink, head turning slightly to watch the cigarette glow between Jade's lips. "I think so?"

She shrugs, squeezing your hand as your fingers wriggle between hers, water cold between your palms. "Good enough for me."

You walk in silence for a little while, the dripping and splashing of rain your only soundtrack, inconstant and varied.

You live in a quiet neighbourhood, made even quieter by the weather, and the slowly fading light. Jade's cigarette glows like a star, a comet every time she brings it to her lips. The rain's almost soaked completely through your hoodie when Jade flicks away the glowing ember of her cigarette butt, the glow extinguished as soon as it hits the ground. She breathes out the last of the smoke in a steady stream, tendrils dissipating in the busy air, stopping and facing you.

"You cold?" She studies you, and you try to keep the slight shake out of your shoulders, fingers almost numb. She nods. "You're cold. Ready to go back?"

You lick your cold, wet lips, the taste of the rain somehow different to that of normal water. Fresher, sweeter, fuller in a way you can't explain. "'Kay 'kay."

She slings an arm around your shoulders, turning you back the way you came, like she's afraid you'll burst free and run off into the night in an act of defiance. But really, this time for thinking you have, this solitude of the rain... it's all been about her. Your thoughts have lingered on this sullen girl, and how her fingers fit so perfectly in between yours. "Jade, why did you wanna come with me this time?"

She looks up at the sky, the rain like feathers, as light as smudges of ash in the wind now. "I guess I just wanted to see what it is you actually do when you come out here."

You tilt your head, sneakers splashing through a particularly deep puddle. The water seeps in, soaking the toes of your socks. You hate it when your little piggies get wet. It's a good thing you're heading back, really. The one place you can't stand to get wet is your feet. "I walk."

Jade rolls her eyes. "I know that. I just... I wasn't sure why you did it."

"Do you know why I do it now?"

She shakes her head. "Nope." A smile turns up the corner of her mouth, lips pale. "You're a weirdo, Cat." Jade squeezes your shoulder, tugging you closer to her. "But you're my weirdo. If you're okay with my rain smokes, then I guess I'm okay with your rain walks."

"I do it to think." You say quietly, snuggling into her shoulder. It makes it more awkward to walk, but it feels a lot better.

Jade loses her smile, raising an eyebrow. "What do you think about?"

You shrug. "Lots of stuff. Whatever's in my brain."

"What was in your brain today? Licorice?" Jade teases, goading a smile from you.

"You were, silly."

Your apartment building comes in sight, Jade's steps growing quicker. You think your hands are starting to get pruny, and sure enough, when you hold one up to your face to see, there's little wrinkles rippling your fingertips. "I was thinking about how lucky I am." Your fingers wiggle in understanding. "Who else would let me go for walks by myself in the rain? Who else would come with me?"

"A crazy person." Jade mutters, tearing her hood down as you reach cover.

"I guess I just like that you let me be me. Most people want to make me them."

Jade stops at the door the apartment building, arm slipping away from you. She plants her hands on your shoulder, face serious. "Yeah, well, I didn't fall in love with myself, Cat. I fell in love with you. With all your weird little things and everything. The only thing I'd change about you right now is your clothes." A smile creeps onto her face. "Because you're soaked."

You pout out your lower lip. "You are too, you know." You let a grin steal across your face. "Race you to the shower?"

Jade smirks. "Oh, you're on."

The two of you struggle through the door, hand flailing. You manage to take the lead, racing up the stairs, hand slipping on the railing. You know she's got the keys to the apartment, and that even if you do win, she won't acknowledge it, but honestly, you don't really care. You'd be running even if this weren't a race. The thought of being cuddled in a hot shower with Jade overpowers whatever thinking you did out there.

Maybe part of why you go walking in the rain is because of the welcome you receive when you get home. You see how cold and empty the world is out there, how lonely it can be, and that makes coming home to Jade even more special. You're safe out there because you know she's waiting for you, and that she'll be gruff and scold you when you drip on the floor, but her hands are never gentler, her lips never softer than those times. No matter how cold you get, she's always there to warm you up.

Maybe that's why you go for walks in the rain. It reminds you of what the world is like without her. Except at the end, she's still there, waiting for you.

You slow down.

/

A/N: Just an idea that came to me - surprise, surprise – while I was sitting outside in the rain.

Why? BECAUSE I'M AN ADULT AND CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS. Even if they're silly ones that leave me with a frog on my foot and hair like glue, sticking to my cheeks.

Anyway, this is the result of me marinating myself in rain water for a while. Do let me know how it tastes.

By which I mean review.