I stood completely still, barely daring to breathe. This was amazing. This was the end. This was...
An Orange.
No, it was The Annoying Orange. I had many things to say to this guy, as he had been bothering me for quite awhile now. What with his... orangeiness... and the fact that he's an orange. Where did that word even come from, anyway? Orange. It's so weird. These were the things I pondered at night when the creaking of the ship kept me awake.
The Orange sat there, unnerving me. I picked it up. Nothing happened. I poked it. Still, nothing. No face appeared with a lame joke. I squinted at it. Perhaps it was hiding. Then, I had an idea.
Davy could make it appear! Davy can do anything!
I took the Orange and ran out of the hold. "Captain! CAPTAIN!" I spun on the spot, and spotted him inconspicuously trying to slide into his cabin. "Captain!" I ran over. He sighed. "What, Miss Burton, could it possibly be this time?" I held up the Orange in his face. "I need you to make the Annoying Orange appear." He looked at me. I was dead serious. I suppose it showed on my face, because he squinted one eye at me. "...WHAT is that and WHY should I?" I brought the orange down to my eye level. "The Annoying Orange is an orange, who has a face. He really just bothers other fruit. He's this orange, I know it. But he's hiding. So I need to make him appear, because I have a bone to pick with this guy." I jabbed the Orange where his eye should be. Captain turned to Palifico. "Take stock of the rum in the hold." Palifico, with one last look at me, turned and did as he was told. Davy put his human hand on my forehead. I flinched and craned my head back. "Nyeahhh, your hand's cold!" He frowned. "Do you have a cold, perchance?"
I thought about it. "Well, I have been feeling a little crappy... so I took some cold pills. But not Alkaseltzer. I HATE Alkaseltzer. I had to have some last year, and I had to take it every night and there was this one time where I almost threw up because I filled it up too much so the medicine was in this giant glass of water and I had to drink all of it, and-" Bootstrap, who was standing on the other side of Davy, felt my head as well, and then cut off my rambling. "Well, that explains everything. You overdosed for a minor cold and now you're completely nuts." Davy rolled his eyes. "She always has been completely nuts. Just the medicine macks her lack any self control she may have been using." I looked up, my eyes filled with tears. "The Orange just insulted me! He said he didn't like my hat..." Bootstrap patted my head. "It's alright. I like your hat." I tried to smile, but then scowled at the Orange. Davy sighed once more. "Take her to her cabin, Bootstrap. I can't deal with anymore of this." Bootstrap nodded. "Aye, Captain." He took my shoulder and steered me in the direction I had come from. I scowled at the Orange once more.
"You know what? Screw this!" I shook off Bootstrap's hand, took a running start, wound up, and chucked the Orange over the railing. It flew through the air, and then hit a rock that was protruding from the water, as it was low tide. I watched with evil satisfaction as it completely blew up, sending orange rind and guts everywhere. "YOU DESERVE IT! STUPID ORANGE! YOUR MOTHER WAS A SQUASH AND YOUR FATHER WAS A CUCUMBER! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON SKITTLES!" Bootstrap sighed, picked me up, and carried me, still screaming insults at the now-dead Orange, back to my cabin. The deck was completely silent. Then Manray spoke. "And that, mates, is why we will never understand women." There was a chorus of "Aye!", and they continued to work like I hadn't just screamed at an orange.
And, somewhere in the United States, the real Annoying Orange plotted his revenge...
A/N Dutchman Adventures. Give it a shot.
Well, This is essentially about me getting on the Flying Dutchman, and bothering the crap out of the crew. :D How I love writing these...
But, anyway, if you don't like it, don't flame. They'll be used to cook my breakfast, or marshmallows. I love marshmallows. :D
Fangirl out, peeps.