I don't really know what this is, but I hope you like it.
Ten Things I hate About You :)
They say writing things down helps you, I suppose I'm willing to give anything a try. I remember being in juvee and my therapist telling me to write my feelings down, only back then I couldn't write. I guess you could say I've come far in that area. I've been trying hard to ignore my feelings for you, been trying to bury them deep inside me only to have them resurface time and time again. It's always been that way with us though hasn't it? Even when I'm consumed with other areas of my life, you are still there at the back of it all, eating away at me like a slow painful death.
One: I suppose I should start with the tash. I mean who do you even think you are with that furry thing on your face. I can't decide if you look like that bloke from Queen, what's his name? Oh yeah Freddie Mercury, or one of the blokes from Village people. Actually I could just see you doing the Y.M.C.A. Now I'm picturing you in a cowboys outfit and singing your heart out. Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground. I said, young man cause you're in a new town. There's no need to be unhappy. Great, got it stuck in my head now.
Two: Next would be chewing gum. I don't think I've ever met someone who chews the amount of gum you do. You've even been chewing it when we've kissed and transferred it into my mouth. Do you remember the first time you did that and I nearly chocked? I thought that you were going to have to give me the Heimlich maneuver. I could see the look of panic in your eyes. We didn't laugh at the time, but afterwards we just couldn't help ourselves.
Three: Clicky shoes. I mean I know you like to be noticed, but that kind of takes the piss. I could hear you coming a mile off. You sound like a galloping horse trotting along. Maybe you feel powerful when you wear shoes that make a noise, or maybe it's your feminine side coming out. Do you secretly wish they were a pair of high heels? No…I couldn't even picture you in heels it just doesn't work. I think you just want people to sit up and take notice of you, that or you just like being noisy.
Four: The suits for every occasion. I think it's safe to say that they're more of an obsession than a wardrobe choice. You have one for every single day of the year, every colour and every style. I remember trying to get you to donate some to charity. I can still hear your words to me now "Ye can never have too many suits Steven. Now let's not talk about this again." I remember you silenced me with a kiss, a kiss that lead to a touch, a touch that led to you ruining me big time. We spent the whole day in bed that day.
Five: The nervous hand thing. I think you've always done that at least you have with me. The time's that we've been talking seriously and then you'd just play with your hands, twitch and fidget instead. I'm sure it would put you off talking as the conversation we'd be having would just abruptly end. I think we could have got together sooner if it hadn't have been for your nerves and your tapping hand's, still I don't have to worry about that anymore do I? I can still hear the sounds of you tapping sometimes.
Six: Your temper. How at times you have scared me so much that I thought I would die. Your hands have hurt me, left scars on my heart and no matter how much time passes I don't think I'll ever get over it. Although I have forgiven you, I know I'll never forget. You've hit me to cause me physical pain and also to try and make me forget you. Both have left marks on my heart and both have broken me. You were always so sorry and your pain seemed greater than mine, maybe that's why I always forgave you.
Seven: Your faith in God. We all need something to believe in I get that I really do, but at times you have let your faith come between us. You should've never let anything come between us, but you did. You put so much faith in God, but look where it got you. Where is your justice? I wonder if you still have that same faith now. I know that I have no faith. You deserved a happy ending; we both deserved a happy ending…together, but look at what your faith did. It ripped us apart forever, I recommend you having strong words with god.
Eight: The way you eat. Not only do you look like a pig, but you sound like a pig as well. I have never known someone to eat so much yet stay so in shape. The image of you stuffing your face will haunt me for the rest of my days. I don't think I have ever seen you eat normally, but I guess it's just your way. Although we could never go to a posh restaurant, I think they'd chuck you out and I'd be following closely behind.
Nine: Brotherly love. You say that Cheryl was always there for you, but I have to disagree. You went through bad times without anyone by your side…even me. You gave her everything, you gave her a future even when it cost you your own. You never asked for anything back apart from her love. I often wonder why I wasn't enough for you. Why did you choose her instead of me? I know you'd tell me you didn't, but that's how it feels and it's her fault were apart now. It's your brotherly love that separated us.
Ten: Leaving me. This is the one I hate the most, the worst of all ten things. I hate that you destroyed me, that you ripped my heart in two and that you've left me alone to deal with everything. I hate being without you, I hate not waking up in your arms, I hate missing you and sometimes I wish I didn't love you, things would be easier then. I hate that I just don't work without you.
I hate that all the things I hate about you are also all the things I love about you. I love how your tash feels against my skin, how it tickles me and makes me laff'. I love how your breath always tastes fresh from the chewing gum; I don't think you've ever had bad breath…ever. I love how you'd strut through the village in your clicky shoes and act like you owned the joint; and for a while I think you did. I love the suits; you look dead sexy in them. You look like you're somebody and you are, to me anyway. I love how nervous I would make you at times; it shows how much I mean to you. Okay so the tapping was annoying, but at the same time adorable. I even love your temper and how passionate you are about things…how passionate you are about me. If you want something you get it and I admire that. Your temper may have separated us at times, but it also brought us back together.I guess I even love your faith, how you believed that praying and making a deal with god would protect me and keep me safe from harm. I don't know how I could love the way you eat, but I do. It fascinates me and I can't help but get turned on by it. I must be mad. I love how much you love your sister and how much you can love another person, it shows your sensitive side and I love that side of you too. I love so much about you, I always have and I always will. I just hate that you are gone and that I can show you how much you mean to me. This is what you do though init…you come into my life, turn it upside down and then you go again, but you always come back. I guess I just have to wait.
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